momof165 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 (edited) Well, today we received the news. Dh LOST his job - effective Feb. 1, 2009. Boy, I just wished it would not have happened. First we need to get rid of dh's big a** truck that costs $573.00 per month. He needed this monster for his job - there is nooooo way we can swing this. So, let 'em take the car - we try to hold on to the house as long as possible. I want to continue hs - but at this point I don't know how. I know there are lot of others in our shoes - but it is sooo hard. I can't even think straight right now. :confused: It's just such a blow. We gave up everything to move to this area 2 years ago. I know there is a reason for everything that happens in life, a purpose for things. But at this moment I just can't see it. I am just so upset tonight. We have had some rough times in the past - but I never felt as helpless as right now. Dh thinks HE let us down because he made us move out here. It brakes my heart to see him this way. Ds is scared, crying right now - and I don't know what to say. It seems I just can't find the right words tonight. Thanks for listening to my rumbling. Sonja ____________________________ Homeschooling JUST ONE - ds 9 Edited January 29, 2009 by momof165 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I am so sorry.:grouphug: I will pray for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 :grouphug: This is such an uncertain time for us too - I hope that you stay strong & that things take a turn for the better soon! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 We've been there. My dh was laid off six years ago, and was offered a job here, so we moved across the country. A year later, he was laid off from that job. Then a contract job that was supposed to go permanent, but didn't. Then he actually got fired from a job that was a bad fit. So I know how you feel! Hang in there. Don't expect yourself not to feel sad or scared or angry at first; it's a big shock and now there are lots of unknowns. Hang in there! I'll pray for you. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Claire in NM Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I am saddened to hear of your Dh's job loss. Bless his heart for wanting so much for you and your ds. I am sending hugs and prayers to you all. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Claire in NM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I"m so, so sorry. Know that we're thinking of you and sending positive energy and calming thoughts your way. Big Hugs, Astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Oh no, I'm sorry. Wish there were something we, as a community, could do to help you. It's a very scary time in which we're living. Even the securest of jobs are tentative, at best. I hope you have a short stint of unemployment followed by an even better job. (((HUGS))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. You're definitely in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 We moved for a job a few years ago and Dh was laid off after we bought a house. it was devastating. Dh cried a lot. And got very depressed. It seems horrible right now. HANG IN THERE. You know bad times pass. And it may get worse before it gets better. but yes, you will get through. Just make sure you keep communicating with each other. Your Dh feels like a failure right now. Lift him up. keep talking and making a plan to move forward. don't settle into the fear. Make plans. We had to move in with family while dh lived in another city to job hunt. (we were able to sell our house in a few months) It was hard. months of being apart. And right before we had stopped talking...and his mindset was so bad...it really put it as a discord and we had to decide to push through or give up. Don't give up. keep talking. Make plans to make it better. You will survive this. And in a few years you will be able to look back and see how it changed you and your dh and how it made your relationship stronger. that day will come. hang in there!!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evergreen State Sue Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 It sounds like you have a wonderful dh who cares a lot about his family. Treasure each other through these rough times. I just lifted your situation up to the Lord. May He direct your paths. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaof2andtwins Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Sonja, I am so sorry to hear this. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Jennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennifersLost Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 So sorry this is happening to you. Of course you two are scared right now but you are strong and healthy, right? Your family is together. The best thing you can do is let your husband know that you love him, that you are sure he will provide for you, and that you will do whatever you need to in order to help. Be each other's best friend right now, you know? Could you possibly do a little childcare for now? Sometimes just taking care of a couple of babies can bring in significant cash. You can look at it as a one or two year thing - not forever. Yes, it makes homeschooling much harder, but it doesn't make it impossible. Just a suggestion. I find that childcare can often bring in more cash than if a parent goes out and gets a low-paying job. If you have a skill that earns big bucks, then this advice isn't for you, obviously. You are in my heart tonight. I hope this does turn out to be one of those situation where it all turns out better than you ever dreamed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Alfred Academy Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle T Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Praying new work will come soon. MichelleT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momof165 Posted January 29, 2009 Author Share Posted January 29, 2009 Thank you so much for your warm and caring words, your prayers, and good vibes. It means a lot to me/us. By reading all of your posts, so many of you have been in our situation, and I feel a little bit ashamed of feeling so weak and discouraged. I need to be strong for our family because we ONLY have us. Foremost, we need to keep communication open and going, especially right now. Dh tends to retreat into a shell when things go wrong - so, I need to be very sensitive. Sonja ___________________________ Homeschooling JUST ONE - ds 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tutor Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jubilee Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 :grouphug: I have a friend who her dh has been without work going on 3+ months now. They also have a home to pay for and (2) children. It will be a year since we moved to where we are now. It took my husband a few months, (longer than he would have liked) to find work. I can relate somewhat to the tough times. I have not read what others have responded with and apologize for any repeats in this post. I want to encourage you to continue to stand by your husband. Also, be proactive in using the help that is out there. Government assistance is abused by some (debate for another post and I am not trying to "go there") but, is also there to help those when they need it for the time that they need it. Talk with your mortgage company. Your family is not the only one in this situation. I do hope things turn around quickly for you and your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat19 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I am so sorry :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highereducation Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I have a family member who lost his job last August and hasn't been able to find anything, and then his wife lost her job in two weeks ago. It's a big shock. They're both battling depression and anxiety and it's very hard to know what to say to them. Mostly we have all been praying - hard. I will pray for a quick resolution to your situation as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemytea Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I'm so sorry. We're barely hanging on to things around here. I get so tired of companies calling to ask why we haven't paid our bill this month. Not to be nosy but are other people getting those calls, too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 So sorry to hear about this. I echo what another poster said in saying, "Stand by your man!" When my husband was out of work for 5 months, I did everything I could to encourage him and be a strength for him. I figured if he was the one having to shoulder the burden of finding a way to provide for the family, the least I could do was not make it harder on him emotionally by loosing faith. We intentionally kept our attitudes possitive and relied on God since He is the one in control anyway. DH found a job just in time to get his first paycheck 1 week after the last unemployment check came! God's timing is perfect, ain't it? This time in your life may include many changes, but that's okay. Stay together, trust the Lord and weather the storm. You will grow and be better for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 :grouphug::grouphug:I'm so sorry, Sonja!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 It sounds like you have a wonderful dh who cares a lot about his family. Treasure each other through these rough times. I just lifted your situation up to the Lord. May He direct your paths. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dooley Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 I am so sorry to hear your news! So many are suffering right now, just this morning at prayer, we were discussing how societies fail, the circular nature of it all and asking for strength for what is happening now. My dh free lances and we barely have any jobs. I will pray for you sister.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Sonja, I am so sorry! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jenny Flint Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Dh had leads on three jobs within a month and began work at his current job Jan. 7 of last year. It was a very tough time for us, because he had spent several years really floundering in his job- doing so much, with so many skills, but not really knowing his place there, and really feeling unappreciated. He was unappreciated: we found out later that a key person at his old company actually said "he didn't really do anything, anyway." Well, the atmosphere at his new job is completely different. He is very much admired and appreciated for what he does, and he has learned so much from the experience. He has learned that he is competent and capable. Through that difficult time, I just listened, and tried very hard to find ways to make every avenue available to us work. I boosted him and loved him. I did a lot of deep breathing and a lot of just "doing the next thing" through my day. My mother came to live with us during that time, which made the whole transition more difficult. However, I kept the attitude that this was happening to us so that something wonderful would have room to come into our lives. That helped to translate my anxieties into excited hopefulness for the future. For me, those feelings manifest in very similar ways in my body, so it was just about turning around any negative thinking that might creep in. Stay positive as much as you can, and when you're feeling desperate, just do the next thing. That's all you can do! Knowing that I am doing all I can do when I am feeling truly groundless is empowering and makes the groundlessness feel much more like surfing than sinking. Update when you can; I am sure something wonderful will happen for you in time. In the meantime, take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Are you Christian? The first time, dh and I lost our jobs at the same time, since we worked for the same company that closed our office. The 2nd time, I was a sahm and we were in the process of buying our new home when dh's company downsized his department. The 3rd time, I was 8 months pregnant with 2nd ds. It's gut-wrenching, but trust, trust, trust that God really does do what He says. He's omniscient: He knows what just happened to you. He's omnipotent: He is able to help you. He's all loving: He has a plan and desires to show His love for you. Oh, and the outcome: 1st time: due to severance and temporary jobs, we earned more when we'd lost the jobs than when we had steady employment. 2nd time: a new job came through about 8 hours after the old one was terminated, from out of the blue. 3rd time: he did find a job, and even though the insurance would have gapped just when I would have had to go in the hospital to deliver the baby, the old job allowed dh to work one extra day, so the insurance would cover one extra month when ds was due to be born. Cut back on what can be cut back on. Pray together, simple heart-felt prayers. Get out there and look for other jobs. Keep up the homeschooling. You can hs for practically nothing if you have the gumption. And mostly; big big hugs to you. Before the emotions settled down and I could start to think clearly and pray for help, the heart would race, my face would flush, I'd feel sick to my stomach. Hang in there. You will survive. You will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 :grouphug:Sonja:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon in SC Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Well, today we received the news. Dh LOST his job - effective Feb. 1, 2009. Boy, I just wished it would not have happened. First we need to get rid of dh's big a** truck that costs $573.00 per month. He needed this monster for his job - there is nooooo way we can swing this. So, let 'em take the car - we try to hold on to the house as long as possible. I want to continue hs - but at this point I don't know how. I know there are lot of others in our shoes - but it is sooo hard. I can't even think straight right now. :confused: It's just such a blow. We gave up everything to move to this area 2 years ago. I know there is a reason for everything that happens in life, a purpose for things. But at this moment I just can't see it. I am just so upset tonight. We have had some rough times in the past - but I never felt as helpless as right now. Dh thinks HE let us down because he made us move out here. It brakes my heart to see him this way. Ds is scared, crying right now - and I don't know what to say. It seems I just can't find the right words tonight. Thanks for listening to my rumbling. Sonja ____________________________ Homeschooling JUST ONE - ds 9 :grouphug: Words seem so empty. Please know I've prayed for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dooley Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 Dustylizard - such words of wisdom, I have seen those things in our lives too. So very true! The Lord LOVES YOU! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted January 29, 2009 Share Posted January 29, 2009 (((Sonja))), I'm sorry. We have BTDT as well. Keep your eyes open to all the options - something good will turn up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mere2 Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 :grouphug: Sorry no words of wisdom, just plenty of positive thoughts for you and others that are facing these difficult times. Fi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doodle Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 (edited) :grouphug: We're going through this right now too... Edited January 30, 2009 by Doodle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina in WA Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 I am sorry this has happened to you guys. I will definitely keep you in our prayers. I caught a little of Dobson's show last night (Financial Survival)and they were talking about these types of situation. I haven't heard it all yet, but I do plan on taking the time to listen. I thought I'd share it with you in case it is something that could help. It is from a Christian POV. Praying for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momof165 Posted January 30, 2009 Author Share Posted January 30, 2009 Thank you everyone for all your encouring e-mails. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you who are in a similar situation. I am just so glad to have this board as my support system. Thank you all! Sonja __________________________________ Homeschooling JUST ONE - ds 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna T. Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 So sorry. My husband just took a significant cut in pay, but atleast he still has his job. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johanna Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 oh man, I am so sorry.......praying for you!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBH Posted January 30, 2009 Share Posted January 30, 2009 Are you Christian? The first time, dh and I lost our jobs at the same time, since we worked for the same company that closed our office. The 2nd time, I was a sahm and we were in the process of buying our new home when dh's company downsized his department. The 3rd time, I was 8 months pregnant with 2nd ds. It's gut-wrenching, but trust, trust, trust that God really does do what He says. He's omniscient: He knows what just happened to you. He's omnipotent: He is able to help you. He's all loving: He has a plan and desires to show His love for you. Oh, and the outcome: 1st time: due to severance and temporary jobs, we earned more when we'd lost the jobs than when we had steady employment. 2nd time: a new job came through about 8 hours after the old one was terminated, from out of the blue. 3rd time: he did find a job, and even though the insurance would have gapped just when I would have had to go in the hospital to deliver the baby, the old job allowed dh to work one extra day, so the insurance would cover one extra month when ds was due to be born. Cut back on what can be cut back on. Pray together, simple heart-felt prayers. Get out there and look for other jobs. Keep up the homeschooling. You can hs for practically nothing if you have the gumption. And mostly; big big hugs to you. Before the emotions settled down and I could start to think clearly and pray for help, the heart would race, my face would flush, I'd feel sick to my stomach. Hang in there. You will survive. You will. I love the way you gave specifice examples of how the Lord provides, cares, and loves. The Lord knows the future and is in control of the world. His grace is sufficient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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