How carefully do you schedule your day?

[math teacher]

I like to have a list, but I do not schedule times. Right now, though, I am getting through the school week, and spending a large part of the weekend in the recliner. I hope to get pain relief soon, and start feeling better.

[alysee]

33 minutes ago, mmasc said:

@alysee and @Carrie12345

I’m very intrigued and interested in knowing more about the adhd angle of routine vs rigid schedule. You both mention that *routine* works well (and probably not *schedules* (or being told what to do and when). Can you please share with me how this might look for a school day for an adhd(ish) 14-year old? Like, what *routine* would work well vs what *schedule* probably wouldn’t work for you? I’d love your insight since you’ve figured out what works for you as an adult! 

I do the same tasks in the same order each day. That's what I mean by routine. Since adhd is about dopamine I also try and do a less fun task, followed by a fun task because that motivates me to get through the crappy task. That is something that works for my adhd kid too.For example in the morning I unload the dishwasher(not fun), followed by listening to an audiobook while I get breakfast ready(fun!). 

I let my ADHD kid pick the order in which she wants to do things. I also make sure she has outdoor time before we do school. It helps her be better emotionally regulated for the day. 

 

[Carrie12345]

31 minutes ago, alysee said:

I do the same tasks in the same order each day. That's what I mean by routine. Since adhd is about dopamine I also try and do a less fun task, followed by a fun task because that motivates me to get through the crappy task. That is something that works for my adhd kid too.For example in the morning I unload the dishwasher(not fun), followed by listening to an audiobook while I get breakfast ready(fun!). 

I let my ADHD kid pick the order in which she wants to do things. I also make sure she has outdoor time before we do school. It helps her be better emotionally regulated for the day. 

 

I like to work similar to that.  
My ideal wake up routine is to use the bathroom, throw on my comfy clothes, do some stretching, load the coffee pot (if I didn’t set it the night before), take out the dogs, toss a load of laundry in the wash, and then veg out with my coffee and catch up online for a while.

My alarm is set for feeding the dogs and taking my meds at 8, which I combine with opening all the blinds, turning off the outside lights, and starting the robot vac, plus flipping laundry.

I had/have (but don’t follow right now) a weekly cleaning schedule, so I know what needs to get done on what day, but I don’t set a time at which to do it.

When exercising, I tidy up my basement in between weight sets. I tend to exercise when my big dog gets lunch so he’s crated and won’t be up my butt, lol.
I get my mail when walking a dog.  
I pick up grocery orders when picking my kid up from work. 
I clean out my fridge on garbage day, before picking up groceries.

The family’s weekly dishes schedule is listed on our calendar, along with who has to be where and when, so I know exactly what I’m working with. If it isn’t on there, I’m not responsible for it. We’re also working on our cooking schedule, which is a little trickier.  The point being, it helps me know where my “openings” are so I’m less likely to procrastinate into an already dedicated “event”.
 

[KungFuPanda]

I’m a list-maker and a block scheduler. I don’t schedule to the hour, but I do dedicate a chunk of time to a group of tasks so I don’t reach the end of the day with nothing crossed off my list. 
 

The Sidetracked Home Executives taught me to put how long a task takes on my to-do list so I wouldn’t schedule 4 hours of work in a 3 hour block. It also taught me to actually time tasks that repeat so I’m dealing with how long things really take and not how long my heart believes they take. 
 

When we homeschooled it was pretty much breakfast -school - lunch - afternoon activities outside the house - down time at home - dinner prep/chores - dinner - family time - bedtime routine. 
 

Later on I moved the main meal to midday and that was a great help. 

[DawnM]

Work is a strict schedule, but the rest of my life isn't.

[stephanier.1765]

16 hours ago, wisdomandtreasures said:

I have a daily to-do list but I don't assign times... Too strict and overwhelming. 

 

Edit - Okay, I do aim to be finished with school by lunch time, but I don't plan it out like "9:00-9:30 Math, 9:30-9:45 Piano practice", etc. 

Oh, I didn't realize but I do too. I try to have everything done by at least 3:30 so I can work on my cross stitch until dinnertime. 

[Scarlett]

3 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

I like to work similar to that.  
My ideal wake up routine is to use the bathroom, throw on my comfy clothes, do some stretching, load the coffee pot (if I didn’t set it the night before), take out the dogs, toss a load of laundry in the wash, and then veg out with my coffee and catch up online for a while.

My alarm is set for feeding the dogs and taking my meds at 8, which I combine with opening all the blinds, turning off the outside lights, and starting the robot vac, plus flipping laundry.

I had/have (but don’t follow right now) a weekly cleaning schedule, so I know what needs to get done on what day, but I don’t set a time at which to do it.

When exercising, I tidy up my basement in between weight sets. I tend to exercise when my big dog gets lunch so he’s crated and won’t be up my butt, lol.
I get my mail when walking a dog.  
I pick up grocery orders when picking my kid up from work. 
I clean out my fridge on garbage day, before picking up groceries.

The family’s weekly dishes schedule is listed on our calendar, along with who has to be where and when, so I know exactly what I’m working with. If it isn’t on there, I’m not responsible for it. We’re also working on our cooking schedule, which is a little trickier.  The point being, it helps me know where my “openings” are so I’m less likely to procrastinate into an already dedicated “event”.
 

This is very much how I run my day. 

[HomeAgain]

Routine is huge here, too.  We have visual reminders around the house, but functioning on a routine is just about the only way I can.  Otherwise, I tend to forget or procrastinate.

This week is going to be a struggle, because our routine is thrown off so much.  It's spring break for me (but not my kid). I have jury duty.  DS has his evening schedule messed up.  If I don't set reminders in my phone I'll forget what I'm supposed to be doing each day.

[Scarlett]

1 minute ago, HomeAgain said:

Routine is huge here, too.  We have visual reminders around the house, but functioning on a routine is just about the only way I can.  Otherwise, I tend to forget or procrastinate.

This week is going to be a struggle, because our routine is thrown off so much.  It's spring break for me (but not my kid). I have jury duty.  DS has his evening schedule messed up.  If I don't set reminders in my phone I'll forget what I'm supposed to be doing each day.

Yes, this is me also.  Like I have 2 big things I have to do for my boss tomorrow which is normally  my day off.  2 hours max.  But important. 
I also need to do our taxes.  
I have been isolated and sick for over a week..but I think I can cook this week so I need to get back into some meal planning and groceries up.  

[rebcoola]

Yeah my routine is basically just habit stacking all day long.

[Terabith]

I have routines, but I don't have schedules, other than I set my alarm to wake up at 7:20 during the week, and the cats expect to be fed at 9 pm.  Everything else is a bit negotiable.  ETA:  But if it's something that isn't a part of my normal routine, a pretty huge amount of my concentration and memory is devoted to it.  So, for example, if I have to take the car for servicing and my husband will pick up my kid from school, I have notes everywhere and have to exert a bit of concentration to remember that, because the routine is that I pick up dd from school.  

Edited March 12, 2023 by Terabith

[Ausmumof3]

This is a thread from way back when I was trying to work through this kind of stuff. At the time, my oldest was seven and my youngest was three. I’m actually amazed that my question was even coherent? 
 

The advice that really stuck from that thread was the concept of routine plus hard stops. When DS was a baby I discovered flylady and thought all my housekeeping problems were solved and the concept of routine was the answer to everything 😂😂. DD was born and slotted right in. Then the next baby came along and we started homeschooling and yeah! Lol. I had a super strict schedule to keep things happening. 

We had some marriage issues and DH was working mega hours for a while and I basically stopped doing housework when he was home to maximise the time to be together and hopefully reconnect. That was positive for the marriage but everything was really chaotic for a long time. Then slowly another shift happened and I’m back to semi scheduling but with more inbuilt flexibility. The thing out of the thread that really helped was the concept of routine plus hard stops. If I just operate on routine I can let my routines spill into the whole day. My quick bed make and room tidy up can turn into a morning of decluttering and deep cleaning.  Oops. My schedule has to be more like this block of tasks fits approximately into this time frame but it may not all get done.

I think DH and I have had some marriage stress due to this stuff over the years.  DH is a very “just do what needs doing” person but that hasn’t worked well for me. In part because there’s always so much that needs doing, in part because I’m probably ADD or something and struggle to prioritise, in part because with little kids and homeschooling the things that obviously scream that they need doing aren’t always the most important.  You need some structure to overcome the tyranny of the urgent.

Now I work part time it has become less critical. I already have some inbuilt structure and it’s ok to be more flexible on the other days. I also have teens with their own weird schedules and spur of the moment stuff to keep up with. 

[Not_a_Number]

I definitely have things scheduled out by time. I mean, I wind up treating them as more like suggestions than not (except for the kids' schoolwork, which I do monitor the timing of.) But it's definitely, like, 6:45 to 7:45 is breakfast, 7:45 to 8:45 is math for the older girl (she picks what questions she does and in what order, though) and it's math/writing for the younger girl, 8:45 to 9:15 is some sort of fun activity time together (either Russian cartoons together or reading something together, depends on the day), etc. 

I do have social studies on a loop, so that's less rigid. But the things we do seriously academically are at specified times. 

Edited March 12, 2023 by Not_a_Number

[Not_a_Number]

It's not like everything is scheduled... I mean, I do chores in whatever order I feel like whenever I feel like it (definitely procrastinating some, lol.) I guess the things I schedule are the things I'd otherwise put off too much or not keep good track of. Like schoolwork and, like, baths for the kids. 

[mom31257]

Some days I have to be very scheduled (mostly Monday-Thursday), but I try to be very flexible on other days. 

Tomorrow looks like this:

• 6:15 up to make dh's breakfast and lunch
• 6:40 he leaves, I take my medicine and get on here to do the tackle thread
• after that get dressed and ready for day and have my quiet time/bible study
• 7:45 online classes begin with Geometry first
• 9:00 Algebra 2
• 10:15 or so; get coffee and grab a bit to eat
• 10:45 Algebra 1 
• 12:15 Prealgebra
• 1:30 short session with a student I see 4 days a week online
• 2:00 eat a quick snack
• 2:15 SAT prep student online
• 3:30 tutor local student
• 4:30 tutor local student
• 5:45 cook dinner and then eat it
• 7:00 arts council board meeting
• grocery store after meeting
• make a chocolate pie for Pi Day
• clean up kitchen (dh usually helps)
• look over lessons for the next day
• get ready for bed

Edited March 13, 2023 by mom31257

[Arcadia]

On 3/11/2023 at 10:34 AM, Bootsie said:

I have never had a detailed, rigid schedule.  We have always had some things that we had to work around, DH teaching, my teaching, DDs class, etc.  But, we didn't have a precise schedule for at-home activities and tasks.  One reason is that one day would be so different than another:  One child went to preschool MWF morning (but stayed until 2:00 on W). The other went  to preschool on M and Thurs.  Music lessons were on Tues...  I would have spent too much time planning everything tightly (and would be stressed when something threw us off of schedule).  

The other reason was when I was a teen I was babysitting for a family and the mother had a schedule posted in her kitchen that look like this:

6:32  wake up

6:35  turn on cofffee pot

6:38  Wake A

6::40  Poor milk

6:41  Wake A again

6:43  Put toast in toaster

6:44 turn on news

I knew I could never live like that 

 

On 3/11/2023 at 10:35 AM, Ann.without.an.e said:

 

That sounds horrible haha. wonder if she stuck to it?

That’s so routine that I don’t need it written down. My kids needed to be waken up twice unless it’s exam day, then they are too “excited” to sleep. I don’t do the toaster part and I read the news on my phone while the kettle is boiling water for coffee.

[Scarlett]

14 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

 

That’s so routine that I don’t need it written down. My kids needed to be waken up twice unless it’s exam day, then they are too “excited” to sleep. I don’t do the toaster part and I read the news on my phone while the kettle is boiling water for coffee.

That is what was thinking….I do the exact same thing every week day.  Wake at 6:00 feed the cat, feed the dog, take coffee to Dh, encourage dog to go outside (she has a pet door) , sit in bed with Dh and drink coffee, throw the ball for the dog, play wordle, scroll FB watch the news.  We do all of that roughly an hour….so if I wrote out every detail with a time next to it it would look weird. But to each their own.

Sometimes I go back and add things to my to,do,list at the end of the day. Things I did that weren’t on the list. Makes me feel,better.  

[SKL]

I will say that I sometimes use a detailed "to do / done" list to boost my mood.  Especially at times when, for whatever reason, I'm not accomplishing much by objective standards.  Then you might see a lot of frivolous details on my list, like, "Brushed teeth.  Got the mail.  Processed the mail.  Turned off the kids' lights that they always leave on.  Played chase with the dog.  Responded to a text."  It makes me feel like at least I'm doing something.  On happy, productive days, my whole list may be two bullets.  😛

I also like to include self-care things that may seem trivial, but deserve to be remembered on busy days.  Like my daily "take vitamins, eat fruits and veggies, drink water."  I lost these good habits at some point and need to build them back, or at least remember to do them most days.

I don't carry my calendar around, so even if I had time slots for everything, I probably wouldn't remember what to do when.

[Scarlett]

23 hours ago, math teacher said:

I like to have a list, but I do not schedule times. Right now, though, I am getting through the school week, and spending a large part of the weekend in the recliner. I hope to get pain relief soon, and start feeling better.

What is wrong?Sorry if I missed this…..

[Scarlett]

6 minutes ago, SKL said:

I will say that I sometimes use a detailed "to do / done" list to boost my mood.  Especially at times when, for whatever reason, I'm not accomplishing much by objective standards.  Then you might see a lot of frivolous details on my list, like, "Brushed teeth.  Got the mail.  Processed the mail.  Turned off the kids' lights that they always leave on.  Played chase with the dog.  Responded to a text."  It makes me feel like at least I'm doing something.  On happy, productive days, my whole list may be two bullets.  😛

I also like to include self-care things that may seem trivial, but deserve to be remembered on busy days.  Like my daily "take vitamins, eat fruits and veggies, drink water."  I lost these good habits at some point and need to build them back, or at least remember to do them most days.

I don't carry my calendar around, so even if I had time slots for everything, I probably wouldn't remember what to do when.

I do this too some days.  It really does help when my brain is frozen.

[dsmith]

I don't follow a rigid schedule time-wise, but I am very meticulous about recording what I need to do, what I have done, any relevant information I need to keep track of, etc. I use a modified bullet-journal and other themed notebooks to keep track of data that needs keeping track of. My husband bought me a Remarkable 2, and it's now acting as my brain lol. I have my modified bullet journal in there and different notebooks to keep track of things like bills, work notes, etc. If something is not written down immediately I forget it! Dh, ds and I use Slack for work, so if dh sends me something that I need to take care of I immediately put it in my bullet journal and I also set a reminder in Slack. If it's really important I may set a reminder on my apple watch or with Alexa on my Echo Show. I do have a general flow to my day - early am is personal stuff and reflecting on the coming day, then I move on to company 1 work followed by company 2 work, getting dinner ready and eat, be lazy for a while, check if anything needs to be taken care of before the day ends, do some house stuff, and bed. I eat breakfast and lunch when I'm hungry and usually at my desk. I don't have ADHD but suffer from severe MS-related cog fog. The Remarkable 2 and bullet journals have been a total game changer for me. 

[Ausmumof3]

10 hours ago, SKL said:

I will say that I sometimes use a detailed "to do / done" list to boost my mood.  Especially at times when, for whatever reason, I'm not accomplishing much by objective standards.  Then you might see a lot of frivolous details on my list, like, "Brushed teeth.  Got the mail.  Processed the mail.  Turned off the kids' lights that they always leave on.  Played chase with the dog.  Responded to a text."  It makes me feel like at least I'm doing something.  On happy, productive days, my whole list may be two bullets.  😛

I also like to include self-care things that may seem trivial, but deserve to be remembered on busy days.  Like my daily "take vitamins, eat fruits and veggies, drink water."  I lost these good habits at some point and need to build them back, or at least remember to do them most days.

I don't carry my calendar around, so even if I had time slots for everything, I probably wouldn't remember what to do when.

I 100pc do this! It really helps when you get interrupted a million times to be able to see that you have actually got something done

[Not_a_Number]

I'll post one of the kids' schedules later! They are pretty involved-looking...