Do you ever feel like you're kinda bad at your job?

[Kanin]

Lately I've been feeling like I'm kind of mediocre at my job. It's not terrible, but I have been thinking, "Hmm, am I actually able to do my job well enough?" I'm a special ed teacher and I'm having trouble doing things like keeping up with paperwork, managing all the meetings, keeping tabs on all of the kids (especially the ones I don't teach myself but only case manage). I'm the only SpEd teacher in a K-8 school, and I would say the caseload is moderate. It's been feeling like my job involves so many different things and so many different people, I'm not sure I'm up for it! This job might require someone with rockstar-level organizational and time management skills, and I would rate my own as average in both areas. 

It got me thinking that there must be some people (maybe many people) who are not quite able to do their jobs as well as they should. I guess I've always assumed that most people are competent in their jobs, otherwise they wouldn't be there. But my own musings about my competence got me thinking. 

[Hilltopmom]

I’m a special Ed teacher too- it’s not you. The job is tough- paperwork, progress monitoring,  multiple different groups and kids working on different skills, planning, working with Gen Ed teachers, meetings, behaviors… I can’t imagine being the only spec teacher in a building!

Imposter syndrome is tricking you into thinking you’re not good enough.

hugs

ETA- I should add… do not feel bad. I’ve been working in this field since 1997 and still feel this way many days! It was better when I was doing 1:1 early intervention but now that I’m in a public school juggling so many things I literally think this about myself every day. Even though I “know” I’m doing a good job.. I can only do so much and am barely making a dent in all the needs.

Edited January 20, 2023 by Hilltopmom

[Katy]

My kid’s special ed teacher is more organized than I am, and I’ve been complimented for organization many times. It’s a difficult job. If your systems aren’t working for you feel free to brainstorm here. Sometimes when I’m stuck I’ve asked for advice here & changed my perspective on solutions. 

[Laura Corin]

In my experience the people who have doubts are usually doing a much better job than those who are super-confident.

[Terabith]

I often feel like I’m not very good at, or not good enough, at my job, despite being lauded by boss and coworkers.  
 

I can’t imagine trying to do all the different things special Ed teachers do every day.  It’s a zillion different spinning plates, many of which are fragile.  

[Indigo Blue]

I’m sorry. I’ve mostly felt like I did a pretty good job, but usually ended up in toxic work environments where it wasn’t appreciated. 

[DawnM]

13 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

I’m sorry. I’ve mostly felt like I did a pretty good job, but usually ended up in toxic work environments where it wasn’t appreciated. 

that was me last year.   23 years in public education and I got my first bad review.....it was NOT me.   I am not "worker of the year" material, but I certainly do a good job!   Stupid cow of a principal.   I am so glad I am out of there.

[fraidycat]

It sounds, to me at least, that you are probably good at your job, but that you need support staff. That is, you have too many jobs at your job.

If you had an admin assistant managing your calendar and filing paperwork, you would have much more time to do the part of the job that is your area of expertise.

[Melissa Louise]

Sometimes.

Most people are competent enough to get by.

Not everyone is trying hard at their job, and aiming for more than half-assed.

Some people fail upwards.

Working in special ed is tough.

~

I spent my first two years back in the workplace feeling like I was terrible at my job, but I can't have been so bad, because they keep getting me back. I realized along the way that you can't always rely on your feelings. Seek feedback from a supervisor or mentor - sometimes you need the view from outside.

 

[Kidlit]

I think it's extremely easy to feel this way if you're a teacher.  (Signed, Kidlit, who left the classroom for the public library in December 🎉) 

[Ottakee]

Another special Ed teacher here …..well, certified but working as a paraprofessional.   It is not you, it is the job and the huge amount of paperwork. Can you get an assistant?

if your job is like ours, we also do a lot of case management and social work services as well as trying to teach.

[Lady Marmalade]

Imposter Syndrome sucks.  And it always becomes more intense when you are struggling. 

You are not doing a terrible job.  You are a gift to your employer and especially to your students. 

[lauraw4321]

Yes. Often. 

[itsheresomewhere]

Lately yes.  But I know it is due to some of the owners of my clients having massive unreal expectations and not me.  Like I can perform a miracle turn a Yorkie into a Bichon. 
 

[Ali in OR]

I think all teachers feel like that some days. And special ed is just tough.

[KungFuPanda]

It's not you.  It's too much work for one person.  All school teachers should have personal secretaries even if they have to cut down on administrators to get them.  It's ridiculous what is expected of teachers these days and special ed teachers especially have their hands full.  I thought I'd be teaching at this point in my life but I didn't have it in me to do THAT much work for that amount of compensation.  I wimped out and got a job I don't have to think about when I leave.

[math teacher]

Another voice for "It's not you." Teachers have so many hoops to jump through besides actually teaching and running a classroom. SpEd is especially difficult-I've taught SpEd, but now I'm in GenEd. You're probably doing the work of three people!!

[Kidlit]

1 hour ago, math teacher said:

Another voice for "It's not you." Teachers have so many hoops to jump through besides actually teaching and running a classroom. SpEd is especially difficult-I've taught SpEd, but now I'm in GenEd. You're probably doing the work of three people!!

I don't want to hijack the OP's post, but I can resoundingly say that yes, OP, you likely are doing the job of at least three people. It has taken getting out of it for me to realize just how much teachers must cram into one day. My dh is a district admin and he also works many hours over contract, to the point of going to his office most weekends for a few hours.  I said all that to point out that it's very difficult to feel like you're doing a good job at a job that should be performed by several people.  Honestly, since changing jobs (admittedly, just a month ago), I no longer feel like I'm bad at my job because I actually have adequate time at work to think about, plan, and execute projects, all on the clock.  I am not pulled in a dozen directions at any given moment.  So, OP, imho, it's not you--it's the job. 

[Kanin]

Thank you so much, everyone! I've got a lot to think about. It's reassuring to hear that it's possibly the job, not me!

[Ottakee]

8 hours ago, Kanin said:

Thank you so much, everyone! I've got a lot to think about. It's reassuring to hear that it's possibly the job, not me!

I think it is most probably the demands of the job and not you.