Catering with no firm numbers

[DawnM]

So, I was going to do a simple memorial for dad down near where my mom grew up, but now it has turned into a whole thing.   My dad was very well loved and respected and as more and more of his "groups" has asked when the memorial is going to be, I have decided to turn it into a larger event and a very prominent person is going to officiate the ceremony and say some things and then I will speak some too.

We will be doing a lunch afterwards.   The church is free to use and they have already told us we can use it.

My dilemma is that I have no clue how many people are coming.   Like not one inkling.   My guess is that it will be over 100, maybe closer to 200?   

My dad grew up in China and I had hoped to have Chinese food as that was his favorite.   DH says we can just freeze whatever is left over, so I want to try to order things that freeze well.   It should be about $10/person with some discounts I have.   

However, I think BBQ would be cheaper.   It would be closer to $5 or $6 person.

OR I could do Chinese for 100 and then supplement with trays from Costco in case we run out?   I do not want all of it to be Costco trays, I really want a hot lunch.

ARGH!~   

I am not doing RSVPs for a funeral.   I would rather just buy for 200 and have too much than ask people to RSVP.   

Any other ideas/thoughts/suggestions?

[Annie G]

Are many of the people elderly? If so, you could probably order for 150 and have plenty even if 200 show up.  When I was a caterer I noticed older folks didn’t eat nearly as much as the under 50 crowd. 
Is there a group nearby that serves food to homeless or other such groups? They might love a donation of leftover food. Freezing leftovers would work for you, but freezing 50+ servings might be more than you want to deal with. 
Hope it’s a beautiful memorial for your dad. 

[freesia]

That is hard! What time is the service? I would probably do the Chinese for 100, add extra egg rolls and rice and then Cosco trays—particularly if it’s afternoon. Not everyone will stay to eat. 
 

Actually, to be completely honest, I would do BBQ and then go out for Chinese food as a family, (I was raised by a depression era dad, am a pastor’s wife and was a missionary so I tend to economize) but I understand why you want to do Chinese—and think it’s touching—so, if I were you, I’d do what I said above. 

[Carol in Cal.]

I think that over ordering and throwing away any leftovers you can’t use or place is a perfectly valid way to manage an occasion like this.  

[QueenCat]

I'd rather have too much food than not enough. I also think that bbq would be so much easier to deal with. Easier would be less stressful during a tough time.

[Clarita]

Of mostly non-Chinese people will show up I would plan for 150. If Chinese people will show up I will do 220 and have takeaway containers displayed prominently ready for people to take home leftovers. 

[Katy]

If you have extra you can take it to the food bank or anyplace that serves free hot meals. We’ve done that several times and it always went over well.

Edited January 17, 2023 by Katy
Several not section, autocorrect!

[KatieJ]

I totally sympathize with this dilemma. My dad owned his own business, taught  at a vo-tech college, and was well loved in our church. Add in a humongous family, planning a meal was a nightmare.

Somehow I got the job of head counting. My mom wanted a nice meal, catered and she got it.  But since it wasn’t my money to spend, I totally underestimated how people would show up. I heard later that People were gracious and just left, never said a word to us. 

My hubby and I were the  last people to eat and we were scraping the pans. 
Doing it over, I would plan on the high side. There is always somewhere to donate leftovers, or plan food yiu csn tske home and  freeze it for later.

 

 

[prairiewindmomma]

32 minutes ago, Katy said:

If you have extra you can take it to the food bank or anyplace that serves free hot meals. We’ve done that several times and it always went over well.

This.

[Faith-manor]

45 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:

I think that over ordering and throwing away any leftovers you can’t use or place is a perfectly valid way to manage an occasion like this.  

I agree with Carol. Also, hire servers and kitchen staff so you do not have to man the kitchen. But be sure they are professionals who know what they are doing. My mother hired the kitchen committee at her church. They didn't really pay attention to what was going on, and we were the last folks to get back from the cemetery, and then we had to deal with a few things before going to the luncheon. We were last in line of the 350 people, and there was no food left except desserts. On top of which, I brought gluten free food for myself and my sister who has Celiac, had it labeled with my name and do not touch, and they gave it to somewhat new else who asked, 'Are there any GF options available?". Sis and I had not eaten since 7 am, and by the time we cleaned up because that was not included in the kitchen committee charge, it was 8 pm.

So make sure you work with people who have a contract that you can read and specifies everything. Hire the people who provide all the services you need rolled into one team because that makes it much simpler than dealing with two different groups. Wedding caterers might be a good place to find kitchen management and servers. Ask for references, and see if you can find reviews of their work. Otherwise, I'd be inclined to rent a banquet hall that is also a restaurant instead of a church so you can pay one price and all of your needs are provided.

[DawnM]

I have spent some time talking to folks and reading what you have written and I think changing the menu to BBQ is what will have to happen.  I will start searching for places that offer large trays of BBQ and some sides.   I can buy buns, potato salad, rolls, large Costco cookies, veggie trays, and drinks and my Bible Study has offered to help in whatever way I need (like 20 people).   I think they can help with making sure the food is stocked, directing people to the hall, and maybe even doing a Costco run and I will just give them the $$.

Someone told me to check with the church's benevolent committee for any recommendations as they deal with this quite a bit.

 

[Clarita]

10 minutes ago, DawnM said:

I have spent some time talking to folks and reading what you have written and I think changing the menu to BBQ is what will have to happen.  I will start searching for places that offer large trays of BBQ and some sides.

Why do you think BBQ is easier?

FWIW I think Chinese food is doable it can come in a large tray just like BBQ. Only saying this because it felt like what you wanted in the beginning and I can see that being completely feasible like BBQ is feasible. 

[DawnM]

10 minutes ago, Clarita said:

Why do you think BBQ is easier?

FWIW I think Chinese food is doable it can come in a large tray just like BBQ. Only saying this because it felt like what you wanted in the beginning and I can see that being completely feasible like BBQ is feasible. 

Because ordering large trays and then supplementing with Costco will be cheaper and will allow for easier freezing.

It is a cost factor as well.   

But you may be right.

Edited January 17, 2023 by DawnM

[kbutton]

I think you can stretch with sides that you would normally/eventually eat at home. If that’s cheese and crackers, potatoes chips, fruit, chips and salsa, etc., just make sure it’s not all opened up at once. Your Bible study friends can probably monitor something like that easily. 

[Carol in Cal.]

36 minutes ago, DawnM said:

I have spent some time talking to folks and reading what you have written and I think changing the menu to BBQ is what will have to happen.  I will start searching for places that offer large trays of BBQ and some sides.   I can buy buns, potato salad, rolls, large Costco cookies, veggie trays, and drinks and my Bible Study has offered to help in whatever way I need (like 20 people).   I think they can help with making sure the food is stocked, directing people to the hall, and maybe even doing a Costco run and I will just give them the $$.

Someone told me to check with the church's benevolent committee for any recommendations as they deal with this quite a bit.

 

Maybe you can find trays of egg rolls or pork buns at least.  Then a part of the meal would be Chinese.  Plus those freeze pretty well.

[footballmom]

You are in grief and it’s more mental labor trying to plan a meal after your dad’s service. Give yourself some grace. Order enough Chinese food that fits within your budget as that was your dad’s favorite and is a special way to honor him. Don’t stress about getting the numbers right. Many times, people won’t stay for visiting after or they will have just eaten or will be sad and not hungry or have dietary restrictions. We’ve never expected to be fed after a service and we wouldn’t be disappointed. I’m sure you have multiple drive throughs people can hit after they leave if they need more food than what’s served. 

[Kassia]

50 minutes ago, footballmom said:

You are in grief and it’s more mental labor trying to plan a meal after your dad’s service. Give yourself some grace. Order enough Chinese food that fits within your budget as that was your dad’s favorite and is a special way to honor him. Don’t stress about getting the numbers right. Many times, people won’t stay for visiting after or they will have just eaten or will be sad and not hungry or have dietary restrictions. We’ve never expected to be fed after a service and we wouldn’t be disappointed. I’m sure you have multiple drive throughs people can hit after they leave if they need more food than what’s served. 

I love this.  Well said.

[Starr]

There is always food left over at funerals in my experience. People just don't eat as much as one would going out to lunch and many folks don't stay to eat. I'm sure it will all work out. That said I wouldn't have any idea how much to order. (I offer to clean up not plan.) 

[Laura Corin]

For reference - I ordered for 15 people when we knew that 20 were coming and it was just right - some leftovers, but not much.

[TexasProud]

Your planning sounds good, especially the part about your Sunday School class taking things over and checking about a church benevolence committee.  That committee may even provide some of the food, which might cut down on the cost.  They could make dessert and tea. Our committee provides the whole meal, but that is typically for families with 30-50 people.

Praying for you, Dawn. Try to make it as easy for yourself as possible and hand off as much as possible.  People will remember visiting, not the food. 

[freesia]

52 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Your planning sounds good, especially the part about your Sunday School class taking things over and checking about a church benevolence committee.  That committee may even provide some of the food, which might cut down on the cost.  They could make dessert and tea. Our committee provides the whole meal, but that is typically for families with 30-50 people.

Praying for you, Dawn. Try to make it as easy for yourself as possible and hand off as much as possible.  People will remember visiting, not the food. 

Very true. I can’t really remember the food from any memorial service I’ve been to including one just a few months ago which had hot food. That woman was Pakistani and I can’t even tell you if there was Pakistani food. Even though memorial services are celebrations of life, the reception is less of a party than other life events. 

[KungFuPanda]

I just learned the hard way that when a Costco platter says it feeds 20 it really does feed 20.  I ordered double for a co-Ed baby shower because the guests were mostly in their 20s and I was not letting kids leave unless they took sandwiches and cake. 🤣

I’d do BBQ for the funeral. It’s cheaper and has broader appeal to older seniors. It’s also more practical to freeze. Maybe go out for Chinese with a smaller group the day before or after. 
 

ETA: The church may know of a good food mission if you have more leftovers than you can manage 

Edited January 18, 2023 by KungFuPanda

[DawnM]

Thanks all.

The memorial will not have very many old people.   They lived in a retirement community in Arizona and if he had passed away there, it would have been a lot of older folks, but as it is, there are some older folks, but not many.   It will be a lot of families.   All of my mom's family, many missionaries who will be traveling from far away, and my church friends and a few other friends of mine with their families.

Ok, I am researching but not finding that BBQ is much cheaper......in fact, it isn't......grrrr.

Maybe I will go with Chinese after all and then a table with cheese, meat, fruit, veggies, and chips for those who don't like Chinese or in case we run out of the other.   Lunch meat and bread can freeze easily.

I was thinking of having 4 tables anyway, just to make things go quicker.   Maybe 3 tables of Chinese and one table of sandwiches and more American food.

I don't know, just trying to make this easy on myself.   Several people have offered to help with either setting up, cleaning, or serving.   

[Faith-manor]

1 hour ago, DawnM said:

Thanks all.

The memorial will not have very many old people.   They lived in a retirement community in Arizona and if he had passed away there, it would have been a lot of older folks, but as it is, there are some older folks, but not many.   It will be a lot of families.   All of my mom's family, many missionaries who will be traveling from far away, and my church friends and a few other friends of mine with their families.

Ok, I am researching but not finding that BBQ is much cheaper......in fact, it isn't......grrrr.

Maybe I will go with Chinese after all and then a table with cheese, meat, fruit, veggies, and chips for those who don't like Chinese or in case we run out of the other.   Lunch meat and bread can freeze easily.

I was thinking of having 4 tables anyway, just to make things go quicker.   Maybe 3 tables of Chinese and one table of sandwiches and more American food.

I don't know, just trying to make this easy on myself.   Several people have offered to help with either setting up, cleaning, or serving.   

I think this sounds like a great plan!

One thing I have noticed about the price of Chinese food in my region, is that they increased the amount of vegetables, and noodles/rice, and reduced the amount of meat which I think was how they balanced the price rice in things like chicken and eggs. It isn't a bad thing given that Americans eat plenty of meat. But barbecue is 100% focused on meat, and the sides tend to be consumed in small amounts. So I can see how it may not be cheaper at all depending on the region.

Fresh veggies can even be diced and frozen for soups, so I really like the idea of a table with try as of fruit, veggies, and cheese. Meat freezes, but don't feel like you need to buy a ton of lunchmeats. You could, to save money, ask your friends if they would be willing to slice up a couple of spiral sliced hams. There is a lot of meat on them, and at the current price of lunchmeat, it would probably save a lot of money to just go with that. If you have cheese, veggies, and fruit, people who do not like Chinese food still have plenty. You don't need to provide a huge dinner spread.

Many hugs! I hope it goes well for you and isn't stressful.