Credit card for young teen?

[teachermom2834]

My 14 yo dd is spending more and more time away from us and I want her to have something. We hardly ever have cash on us so it isn't easy to just hand her some money if she is going somewhere. More and more places (even things like vending machines) just take cards. 

We are not anti-credit card so I don't need any Dave Ramsey lectures 🙂 I really prefer credit cards for security in some situations because getting your cc turned off if compromised is far easier than getting your bank account drained if your debit card is stolen. Neither dh nor I have ever had our cc info stolen but we've both had debit card fraud experiences. So, I'm not really looking for a debit card tied to a checking account. She'll get one when she gets a real job but right now she doesn't have any income and we aren't the kind of family that anyone gives her birthday money or anything. So, outside of a few bucks if she does a big chore for me she doesn't have any of her own money or have need of a bank account for a couple years still. Plus the conveniences of modern banking make the idea of taking money someone gives her to the bank and making a real deposit seem like a huge chore. 

We made our older kids authorized users on our family card when they started driving and we have had zero issues with that (and they all have great credit because of it) but that card has a really high limit and I'm not quite ready to had that over to a 14 yo just yet. I checked and we can't set a limit on her card number. That would have been the perfect solution.  

So what am I looking for? A secured credit card? Can you get one of those for a 14 yo? One of those kid debit cards I see advertised (Greenlight?)? Something plastic accepted pretty much everywhere that I could get a bill for and pay or transfer money to and she could use as a debit is what I am looking for. If she is out without me and needs to stop with another family for food I want her to have a way to pay. Or if she is somewhere and wants to use a vending machine that takes cards. Or if she is on a weekend church trip and her shoe rips and someone takes her to Walmart and she needs to buy a pair of shoes. So, not big expenditures but I want her to be able to conduct basic young teen business without me. But I don't want her to have a card with a very high limit in her possession to keep track of either. 

I guess I could get her a traditional bank debit card tied to her own account and just transfer money to it as needed from my own account. But that would require going to the bank and setting it up. And I might really really hate going to the bank.

Thoughts?

[Drama Llama]

My older kid has a pay as you go debit card.  One of those visas you can buy at CVS or the grocery store and reload. 

I am a little embarrassed to say I don’t know the details.  It was a gift from his godfather, but I know he has added money at times. It isn’t linked to a bank account, but If DS loses it, the balance can be transferred to a new card.  

[teachermom2834]

I thought of the prepaid Visa cards but I was thinking it would be like carrying cash and lost if she misplaced it. That might be good enough to hold her over until we give her the family card or she gets a checking account of her own. 

[Catwoman]

Unless she is irresponsible with money, I would just give her one of your credit cards (get one with her name on it.) 

I always made sure my ds had both cash and a credit card. Is there any reason why you don't have cash? Even if you don't like to carry cash, it might be worth going to the bank and getting some cash in mixed denominations, and putting it aside to give to your dd when she's going someplace where she will only be spending small amounts -- like out with friends for pizza, where they will all be chipping in to pay the bill.

[teachermom2834]

Just now, Catwoman said:

Unless she is irresponsible with money, I would just give her one of your credit cards (get one with her name on it.) 

I always made sure my ds had both cash and a credit card. Is there any reason why you don't have cash? Even if you don't like to carry cash, it might be worth going to the bank and getting some cash in mixed denominations, and putting it aside to give to your dd when she's going someplace where she will only be spending small amounts -- like out with friends for pizza, where they will all be chipping in to pay the bill.

Just because we never seem to have cash on hand when we need it. We just so seldom need it and when we get it we use it and don't replace it. I don't know- it isn't intentional it is more just that we find ourselves without cash on us. Sometimes I'll have some. Sometimes dh will have some. But honestly we just have hardly used cash for many years and it is not uncommon to find ourselves without it. I realize we could be more organized. And yes, ideally she would carry both. Yesterday we found ourselves splitting a bill with someone who only uses cash and we actually had cash to kick in. It was great that we had it and it made our lives easier but on any given day we could find ourselves without it. Like today, because we used it yesterday. 

Obviously we should - but just being realistic we do not always. But I want dd to always be prepared for anything and not dependent on borrowing or even calling us to get money transferred to her. So she needs something to operate with. Giving her one of the family cards is definitely a possibility. It hasn't been a problem for the other kids and it is a real convenience and peace of mind for everyone. 

[gardenmom5]

We've done a traditional CC with a parent on the card.  I don't know if you can do that for a 14yo.  Another option is a refillable visa/MC gift card

[gardenmom5]

37 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

I thought of the prepaid Visa cards but I was thinking it would be like carrying cash and lost if she misplaced it. That might be good enough to hold her over until we give her the family card or she gets a checking account of her own. 

If you're concerned about her losing it - write down all the numbers so you can retrieve any cash linked to the card.

[plansrme]

I looked at this pretty extensively for my kids a couple of years ago and found that all of the pre-paid, reloadable gift cards had pretty high fees. Like you, I had real concerns about giving my kids either debit cards attached to my account or credit cards with my limit. I ended up with youth checking accounts tied to my checking account. I can transfer money into their accounts instantly (and have, on more than one occasion, gotten a call from my son saying he is in line to pay for something and doesn't have enough money, and I can get money in before he gets to the front of the line). We bank with USAA, Truist and a local bank. USAA and Truist both had free, no-minimum balance required, checking accounts just for this purpose.

[marbel]

We made our kids authorized sighers on one of our cards when they started being out alone, needing to put gas in the car, etc.  I have alerts set up on my cards so I see transactions pretty much instantly. My kids were pretty good about texting me to say "I just bought gas/clothes/pizza..." Or I would text them if it seemed out of the ordinary. 

Every month they paid me what they owed. 

It has worked out fine. They knew that if they spent irresponsibly or over the amount they could pay me back, they would lose the card.

[teachermom2834]

1 minute ago, plansrme said:

I looked at this pretty extensively for my kids a couple of years ago and found that all of the pre-paid, reloadable gift cards had pretty high fees. Like you, I had real concerns about giving my kids either debit cards attached to my account or credit cards with my limit. I ended up with youth checking accounts tied to my checking account. I can transfer money into their accounts instantly (and have, on more than one occasion, gotten a call from my son saying he is in line to pay for something and doesn't have enough money, and I can get money in before he gets to the front of the line). We bank with USAA, Truist and a local bank. USAA and Truist both had free, no-minimum balance required, checking accounts just for this purpose.

Our bank has student checking that works like this. It might be our best bet and ultimately in a couple years (maybe even next summer because one place she is volunteering hires 15 yos) she will have a checking account with this setup and have it linked to mine. So maybe we should just do this.

Want to know one reason I don't want to do this? It's funny and annoying. I currently have my three boys' accounts still linked to mine. They are now 24, 22, and 19. I don't really like still being linked to their accounts. My 24 yo doesn't need me on his account. He makes alot of money and doesn't have any financial entanglements with me. He lives out of state and just hasn't made the arrangements to get me taken off. My 22 doesn't need me on his account. He does not make alot of money but he pays his own bills and I don't need access to his accounts. But he lives way out of state and is in no hurry to make the arrangements to get me taken off of his account. Now my 19 yo pays his own bills but he is still in college and maybe I could need access to transfer him money at some point but it is more likely I pay for something for him and need to transfer money from him to me to cover it. But that one is actually still a student so it is really the two older ones I want to get off of. 

I hate logging into my account that is linked to these accounts and seeing what my boys have. Two have alot and one might have 65 cents. It stresses me out. It feels intrusive. I don't want to know! Isn't this the opposite of what is supposed to happen? Aren't young adults supposed to want their moms out of their lives? And here I am trying to get my boys to use vacation time to go to the bank with me to get my name off their accounts. Okay, that whole rant just for me to admit there has to be a way to unlink them from my online access even if my name is still on their accounts. 

So anyhoo that is why I am kind of resistant to go this route with dd. Because then everytime I log in to transfer her money I'm going to have to look at all these accounts of these grown men who should take me off their accounts. So I guess maybe I need to figure out how to remove them from my online portal access. Then I could login to do the money transfers with her (which are easy and convenient) without being in the accounts of the guys. 

[KSera]

1 hour ago, teachermom2834 said:

I guess I could get her a traditional bank debit card tied to her own account and just transfer money to it as needed from my own account. But that would require going to the bank and setting it up. And I might really really hate going to the bank.

I've set up all my kids' accounts without ever going to a bank, and for several of them, without ever talking to a person. I did my ds's all through their app. So, you really might not need to go to a bank.

7 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

So anyhoo that is why I am kind of resistant to go this route with dd. Because then everytime I log in to transfer her money I'm going to have to look at all these accounts of these grown men who should take me off their accounts. So I guess maybe I need to figure out how to remove them from my online portal access. Then I could login to do the money transfers with her (which are easy and convenient) without being in the accounts of the guys. 

lol, I actually understand this whole post. I'm still on my adult kids' accounts as well, and one doesn't need me to be, but the other one does. It feels a bit weird to still see the other one's account show up on mine. I'm pretty sure there will be a way to unlink me without going anywhere. If not online, I expect it should just take a phone call. With Zelle available now, I no longer need my account linked in order to easily transfer money to the kids.

[Spryte]

What about a Greenlight card?

Our kids have/had them. It’s a transitional kind of card, and we can see how they spend their money and have some control. We transfer allowance monthly (I know not everyone does allowance), and there are options for daily chores, special chores. You can specify how much they put in savings, give, can spend.

[teachermom2834]

4 minutes ago, KSera said:

I've set up all my kids' accounts without ever going to a bank, and for several of them, without ever talking to a person. I did my ds's all through their app. So, you really might not need to go to a bank.

lol, I actually understand this whole post. I'm still on my adult kids' accounts as well, and one doesn't need me to be, but the other one does. It feels a bit weird to still see the other one's account show up on mine. I'm pretty sure there will be a way to unlink me without going anywhere. If not online, I expect it should just take a phone call. With Zelle available now, I no longer need my account linked in order to easily transfer money to the kids.

Okay so I just quickly figured out in FAQs how to hide accounts in my app. I know I need the guys in person to actually remove me from their accounts but I can hide their accounts in the app. Of course. Duh.

Seriously this has been bugging me and it took typing out my big rant before to realize I could probably just hide them and of course I can.

[teachermom2834]

5 minutes ago, Spryte said:

What about a Greenlight card?

Our kids have/had them. It’s a transitional kind of card, and we can see how they spend their money and have some control. We transfer allowance monthly (I know not everyone does allowance), and there are options for daily chores, special chores. You can specify how much they put in savings, give, can spend.

This is one I have heard about. Is there a fee? I think I saw something like $5/month?

[Spryte]

16 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

This is one I have heard about. Is there a fee? I think I saw something like $5/month?

There’s a fee — something like that, I can’t recall exactly — but we’ve found it pretty useful as a teaching tool, a secure way for them to have a card, and a way to teach about money (they run specials where if your kid names a savings goal, GL will contribute extras with each contribution your kid makes, stuff like that). One of our kids gets a kick out of using the investing feature. I like offering chores this way — I can give the option of $5 to do X and a kid can accept or not. Plus, it helps DH and me remember to transfer their allowance. 
 

https://greenlight.com/?g_network=g&g_adid=544257369962&g_keyword=greenlight&g_adtype=search&g_adgroupid=127254767416&g_keywordid=kwd-12974866&g_acctid=923-791-4284&g_campaignid=14551814286&g_campaign=Prospecting_Lead_Brand_Google_US_Search_Branded_canary&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=14551814286&utm_term=greenlight_e&utm_device=m&utm_content=brand&gclid=CjwKCAjw3K2XBhAzEiwAmmgrAobTLziC6cXYenwLCHhxO0HAh5OCuw8UiRrZgDSvjDbX7bh5nv4nWBoCz8cQAvD_BwE

 

Edited August 4, 2022 by Spryte

[teachermom2834]

1 minute ago, Spryte said:

There’s a fee — something like that, I can’t recall exactly — but we’ve found it pretty useful as a teaching tool, a secure way for them to have a card, and a way to teach about money (they run specials where if your kid names a savings goal, GL will contribute extras with each contribution your kid makes, stuff like that). One of our kids gets a kick out of using the investing feature. I like offering chores this way — I can give the option of $5 to do X and a kid can accept or not. Plus, it helps DH and me remember to transfer their allowance. 

Thanks. We might like this and I can see how it would be useful for our situation. 

[Spryte]

I went back and edited with a link to their site, but it’s easy to find.

I also like that we get a notification when the kids spend money, and that we all have access to the app. 

It’s been a good to for us for the younger kids!
 

 

[Catwoman]

1 hour ago, gardenmom5 said:

We've done a traditional CC with a parent on the card.  I don't know if you can do that for a 14yo.  Another option is a refillable visa/MC gift card

I once got a credit card for our dog as a joke, so I think as long as you're willing to pay the bill, they'll let you add pretty much anyone to your account. 😉 

PS. Fortunately for us, the dog wasn't much of a spender. I never got credit cards for the cats, because... well... the cats would have been ordering everything off late night infomercials after I went to bed.

Edited August 4, 2022 by Catwoman

[SKL]

2 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

...

I guess I could get her a traditional bank debit card tied to her own account and just transfer money to it as needed from my own account. But that would require going to the bank and setting it up. And I might really really hate going to the bank.

Thoughts?

The above is what I did for my two at 14.  Yes, I did have to physically go to the bank once.

I created separate accounts that are controlled by me.  Online I can monitor all of the activity and transfer cash in or out.

I can use it for cash incentives / penalties and reimbursing myself for times when my kids "borrowed" from me using my credit card.  They also ask me to deposit cash that others give them, so they can make online purchases.  (They give me the cash and I transfer $$ from my account to theirs.)  The downside is that they have to ask me if they need to check their balance.

One of my kids set up her debit card on her iphone wallet.  Not sure how that even works, but good for her.  😛

At times, I also lend them one of my credit cards.  I have two different credit cards, and I keep one of them mainly for lending to the kids, which makes it easier to track what they do with it.

I also keep a bunch of 20s in my car, for times when I want to cover their break lunches etc.

Edited August 4, 2022 by SKL

[SKL]

1 hour ago, teachermom2834 said:

Okay so I just quickly figured out in FAQs how to hide accounts in my app. I know I need the guys in person to actually remove me from their accounts but I can hide their accounts in the app. Of course. Duh.

Seriously this has been bugging me and it took typing out my big rant before to realize I could probably just hide them and of course I can.

LOL I thought so.  I have old, defunct accounts and active ones at one of my banks, and I just hide the old ones, because it's annoying and cluttery to have to keep scrolling past them.

I totally get not wanting to see your independent kids' cash balances.

Now what I need to find out is, how can I give my kids access to see their own balances but only theirs??

[teachermom2834]

10 minutes ago, SKL said:

LOL I thought so.  I have old, defunct accounts and active ones at one of my banks, and I just hide the old ones, because it's annoying and cluttery to have to keep scrolling past them.

I totally get not wanting to see your independent kids' cash balances.

Now what I need to find out is, how can I give my kids access to see their own balances but only theirs??

Hmmm…when my kids set up their accounts they set up their own logins and they could only see their own accounts. I am on theirs so I can see theirs- but they are not on mine so they do not see mine. 
 

I actually use two different logins. Dh’s login just has our joint accounts. My personal login has dh and my joint accounts plus all the kids because I’m the one who went with them to set them up and it’s my name on them. So I do my regular business through dh’s login and only use my own login (with all the kid accounts) when absolutely necessary. 
 

However, I did just go hide the adult kids’ accounts so that was easy enough.  That’s probably the best solution. 
 

I used to text my one child and say “I have to go into the family accounts…please tell me you aren’t overdrawn or please tell me you have at least $1.00” 😂😂😂 I have forgiven youngest child many a miscellaneous debt just so I didn’t have to log in to those dreaded accounts and transfer the money. But he’s out of luck now because I fixed it! 
 

 

[Kuovonne]

I opened a new credit card in my name, asked for a card with DD’s name one it, asked for a low limit, then handed the card to DD. It was completely free.

The only annoying part is that DD cannot see her own transactions. When she wants to see past transactions, I take a screen shot and send it to her.

DD can buy whatever she needs with the credit card. She even setup Apple Pay on her phone with “her” credit card. She is the only one using the credit card, so any transactions on that card are automatically hers. If she wants to buy something for herself, she puts it on the credit card, and then she can use bill pay on her phone from her checking account to pay the credit card. If she needs to buy something that I will pay for, she buys it and I can transfer money to cover the expense.

This has worked better than cash. With cash DD would sometimes be stuck with the wrong denomination of bills. Having a twenty in cash isn’t very helpful when your share is three dollars and no-one has change.

[Clarita]

I think my mom opened a joint savings account for me and got me a credit card. Thus she can see everything and pay everything, but it was completely separate from my parent's actual account. I got this at around 16. Surely my parents would have deleted the whole thing had I maxed out the card or something, but for the spender that I was/am after I had my own money that I actually worked for. As a teen with my parents money I never went on crazy spending sprees. My mom's biggest complaint was "I gave you a card so you can stop asking me about things, please stop asking me if you can get a smoothie."

If you wanted a buffer between your teen and your actual bank account.

[Clarita]

Also my current Chase account has a checking and a savings account. So I just put the minimum limit in the savings and the real spending money in the checking account. Then I won't unintentionally overdraw the entire account. I don't use autopay, so I'll know when I need to overdraw. That could be something you could set up too for your teen (for teen stupidity), then at least when overdraw needs to happen you can set up the consequence instead of the bank. 

[City Mouse]

With my oldest, we did kid debit cards that was could add money to as needed. I don’t remember the name of it, but because we already had a credit card from the same company, we could set up automatic payments each month, and add extra money as needed that billed to our credit card. It worked fine. It worked fine, even when she was traveling without us on scout trips. Once she got her first job, then she got her own bank accounts and a traditional debit. My DH is on her account. It is easier to transfer money that way, and that way he could access her account for her if something were to happen when she was away  at college. 
 

Our younger one got his first job the summer he turned 15 and he attended BSA National Jamboree that same summer, so we had him open a checking account and get a traditional debit card. We transferred money to his account as needed. 

[ScoutTN]

4 hours ago, plansrme said:

I looked at this pretty extensively for my kids a couple of years ago and found that all of the pre-paid, reloadable gift cards had pretty high fees. Like you, I had real concerns about giving my kids either debit cards attached to my account or credit cards with my limit. I ended up with youth checking accounts tied to my checking account. I can transfer money into their accounts instantly (and have, on more than one occasion, gotten a call from my son saying he is in line to pay for something and doesn't have enough money, and I can get money in before he gets to the front of the line). We bank with USAA, Truist and a local bank. USAA and Truist both had free, no-minimum balance required, checking accounts just for this purpose.

This has worked for us too, with our local credit union. 

[The Governess]

Amex allows you to set custom monthly spending limits on each card.

[bibiche]

DS and all his friends use Apple Pay or Google Pay. We figured he’d be a lot less likely to lose his phone than lose a credit card.

 

[Ann.without.an.e]

I love am ex for the kids. They are unique in that each kiddo has their own number so the statement will tell you which user spent the money (no saying "who spent $30 at chipotle?") and you know exactly which card it went on. They can also have their own account log in just for their charges. Also, you can set spending limits per card. For some odd ball reason (maybe because they have a unique number) it somehow built credit for my young adults? Even though they'd never had a cc of their own, they started out life with a decent credit score without having to have a secured card first. 

[teachermom2834]

2 minutes ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

I love am ex for the kids. They are unique in that each kiddo has their own number so the statement will tell you which user spent the money (no saying "who spent $30 at chipotle?") and you know exactly which card it went on. They can also have their own account log in just for their charges. Also, you can set spending limits per card. For some odd ball reason (maybe because they have a unique number) it somehow built credit for my young adults? Even though they'd never had a cc of their own, they started out life with a decent credit score without having to have a secured card first. 

Our capital one cards have worked for our family like this (separate numbers and it is itemized on the statements and it has built credit) but from my research it appears Am Ex is the only company with the individual spending limits. That would be a nice feature. 

[Clarita]

7 hours ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

Even though they'd never had a cc of their own, they started out life with a decent credit score without having to have a secured card first. 

My husband has a CC for both my kids under 6 for this reason. Credit is built because you borrowed money and were able to pay it back. It doesn't care who did it or how it happened.

[Bootsie]

9 hours ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

For some odd ball reason (maybe because they have a unique number) it somehow built credit for my young adults? Even though they'd never had a cc of their own, they started out life with a decent credit score without having to have a secured card first. 

Whether or not credit is built for a child who has a card on a parent's account depends upon how the credit card reports the card usage to the credit bureaus.  Some companies only report the usage and payments to the owner of the credit card; other companies report the usage by each unique cardholder.  

[Kuovonne]

20 hours ago, Ann.without.an.e said:

For some odd ball reason (maybe because they have a unique number) it somehow built credit for my young adults? Even though they'd never had a cc of their own, they started out life with a decent credit score without having to have a secured card first.

My older DD also had a decent credit score (around 720) just days after her 18th birthday.

Although she used a credit card with her name on it for a few years, she did not have a unique number and the bank could not tell which transactions were hers. I attribute her credit score instead to her having checking and savings accounts in her own name for years.

More importantly, she knew how to use the credit card and was already in the habit of paying off the credit card before interest accrued. That was a habit she could only gain by actually doing it.

[katilac]

I don't carry much cash either, but here is my public service announcement for the day: major weather events can cause the internet to go down, and the internet is needed for merchants to get approval for your credit card or check purchases. 

After Hurrican Katrina, we could not use our credit cards or checks, period. It was a cash-only economy for a while there. I'd have to ask dh if he remembers for how long better than I do, but it was a long time. Like weeks, for sure. Definitely more than enough time that you would have to buy gas, food, and so on. And then it was sporadic, as different areas were repaired at different times. 

We keep much more cash on hand since that experience. 

 

[teachermom2834]

3 hours ago, katilac said:

I don't carry much cash either, but here is my public service announcement for the day: major weather events can cause the internet to go down, and the internet is needed for merchants to get approval for your credit card or check purchases. 

After Hurrican Katrina, we could not use our credit cards or checks, period. It was a cash-only economy for a while there. I'd have to ask dh if he remembers for how long better than I do, but it was a long time. Like weeks, for sure. Definitely more than enough time that you would have to buy gas, food, and so on. And then it was sporadic, as different areas were repaired at different times. 

We keep much more cash on hand since that experience. 

 

I know you are correct! I actually am always telling all my young adults this. Less extreme than your situation but we have found a lot, especially since Covid, that you can’t count on anyone being able to take cards or cash for whatever reasons (or even be open). So I really want everyone to have multiple ways of conducting business on them. 
 

But if I did keep a stash of cash I still would want my dd to have plastic as well for all the reasons. And if I was always handing out my emergency cash I wouldn’t have it anymore in an emergency. So I do want her to have both on her. I do find constant replacing the emergency cash stash to be a challenge and using plastic far more convenient. 

[katilac]

2 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

 So I do want her to have both on her. I do find constant replacing the emergency cash stash to be a challenge and using plastic far more convenient. 

Oh definitely, me as well. I never have much cash with me, but we have a lot available. If you are constantly replacing the emergency cash, I'd say you need to have a lot more on hand (presuming that's possible, of course). 

 

 

[teachermom2834]

3 minutes ago, katilac said:

Oh definitely, me as well. I never have much cash with me, but we have a lot available. If you are constantly replacing the emergency cash, I'd say you need to have a lot more on hand (presuming that's possible, of course). 

 

 

Right. Of course. Totally different issue than a stash to be giving a kid for pizza purchases (months worth of expenses vs. $20). 

Of course you are 100% correct as far as safety and preparedness for emergency situations. Just totally not what I’m getting at as far as needing something for my 14 yo to operate. 

[mom2scouts]

On 8/4/2022 at 5:12 PM, teachermom2834 said:

Okay so I just quickly figured out in FAQs how to hide accounts in my app. I know I need the guys in person to actually remove me from their accounts but I can hide their accounts in the app. Of course. Duh.

Seriously this has been bugging me and it took typing out my big rant before to realize I could probably just hide them and of course I can.

I have the same issue with adult children still on my account. I can hide accounts, but one still has his phone attached to my plan and has an automatic payment set up to pay his phone bill. Since there's a monthly transfer, I can't hide that account! Also, the bank now sends "early pay alerts" and even hidden accounts send them to me so I get their paycheck alerts and if they overdraw an account, I get those alerts too. They don't care about it at all and I haven't been able to convince them they can move their finances off my account page.

[teachermom2834]

10 minutes ago, mom2scouts said:

I have the same issue with adult children still on my account. I can hide accounts, but one still has his phone attached to my plan and has an automatic payment set up to pay his phone bill. Since there's a monthly transfer, I can't hide that account! Also, the bank now sends "early pay alerts" and even hidden accounts send them to me so I get their paycheck alerts and if they overdraw an account, I get those alerts too. They don't care about it at all and I haven't been able to convince them they can move their finances off my account page.

I am glad you understand but I am sorry you are dealing with this! It would drive me batty. Seriously the list of things you never think of that you will deal with with adult children…all things considered this is pretty mild but still.

And honestly- what adult wants their mom knowing when they are overdrawn or whatever? You would think they would want us out of their business! I asked when I was in setting up the now 19 yo what we had to do to remove me from the oldest’s because I knew the time would be coming. Then the woman told me we could set up a conference call if he couldn’t come in in person and do it. I don’t see him being that motivated anytime soon. Maybe when he gets married and his wife wants me out of his business!