Spryte Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 Please don’t quote. Friend is putting house on the market. She is selling due to a stalker type situation, and wants to leave the area. No restraining order, nothing physically threatening, but definitely an issue. She is worried that stalker or stalker’s friends may come walk through her house with an agent. I would say that fits the personality of the stalker perfectly, and stalker would absolutely go out of their way to have the opportunity to walk through, if that’s a possibility. Not that stalker would do anything nefarious in the house, but would take pics and be generally nosey. How worried about this should my friend be? Is there any way to prevent this? Again, please don’t quote. Friend isn’t on this board but does homeschool and others we know are likely popping in here and there. Stalker knows she homeschools, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 Can she get a restraining order? She could also have no open house and have her own agent need to be present for any showings. An open house is easy to go to, but for someone to get a real estate agent to show them through a house when they don’t actually have any interest in buying a house would be much farther length to go to. Actually, if she felt safe sharing this with her agent, she could go so far as to show her agent a picture of the stalker and the agent could just decline entry if that person showed up. It does put the agent in a awkward position though. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 (edited) I don't think it can be stopped without a restraining order. It is a he said/she said type thing until the court says it isn't. Since real estate laws do not allow discrimination, this person is within rights to tour the house. What might be for the best is if friend stages the house. This means purging, and then renting a storage unit, putting all personal stuff, furniture, every picture, you name it, into the storage unit. Friend then lives out of a go bag until the house sells, and keeps meals super simple so the boxes of kitchen supplies can be tossed into the car before each showing along with the go bag. This makes the house very impersonal, and doesn't look like friend is even living in it full time. It also makes it easier to paint if necessary, and often times easier to sell. By eliminating personal stuff, it may make less incentive for stalker to try to hide a message in the house to whatever other creepy thing the person is tempted to do. One thing friend can do is instruct realtor to never give out any personal information, no chat fines if this person comes around. Meet the letter of the law. Show the house, smile, thank them for looking, end appointment. If friend has someone to stay with, that would be extra great because then the house could be left locked up and in the care of the realtor. Friend could simply be gone. Edited March 30, 2022 by Faith-manor 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 29, 2022 Author Share Posted March 29, 2022 No restraining order is likely. I don’t know all the details, but from what I know — it’s mostly creepy, collecting info about her stuff, nothing physically threatening. Removing all personal items from the house before showing it makes sense. I’ll suggest that friend really stage it as impersonally as possible. Houses in our area are selling pretty quickly, so maybe no open house is necessary. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 The realtor who worked for us when we bought our Alabama house last July said she has not had to do an open house in over a year. Homes are just selling that fast, and often by people who haven't even seen them in person, just video. Our daughter made an appointment to be shown the house we bought, and did a video of it. We made an offer a couple of hours later. If the house is in a decent neighborhood, decent school district, and doesn't have glaring, pricey problems with it, your friend might sell it inside of a week to a client of her realtor without having to do too much advertising. I really hope that is the case! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 One thing she could do is make all potential buyers pre-qualify before they can see the house. That might be too much of a nuisance for the stalker, but it's something that many serious buyers have probably already done, because they want their offers to be as strong as possible in a competitive market. 15 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 Houses near me are selling fast enough that many are announcing they are going on the market and that all offers must be in by a specific date and time to be considered. If her market is moving like that, maybe if she did that it could just decrease the chances of this happening. If it tightened up the amount of time available for showings to a week or a couple days and the stalker person doesn't have a realtor they are in touch with yet maybe it would help discourage the behavior. Also maybe in that scenario so many people would be looking at the same times it would just be less weird? Like less time for stalker to just hang out and be weird? Maybe set very narrow hours available for showings? Where we are now all those things are happening, including houses being sold the day they hit the market and sight unseen. So depending on the market maybe the seller could just make it difficult for stalker to be creepy. I think if stalker contacted the seller's realtor for a showing, while the realtor technically had to show the house, the realtor could use all kind of body language to convey "hey we are onto you creepazoid. I'm watching every move you make and getting you out of here asap." It's an interesting question I never considered 😞 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 If concerns about photos of the house with personal stuff, some listings around here are doing "virtually decluttered" and/or "virtually staged" photos. ask agent about that option for online photos. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 29, 2022 Author Share Posted March 29, 2022 I will suggest she ask about potential viewers being prequalified, I think that would be a good deterrent. She’s already pricing storage units for her personal stuff, so the house will be minimally furnished with personal things, but it will still be her furniture and decorations, but she’s making it as impersonal as possible. I think her big “ick” concern is this person (or their friend) walking through and photographing her space. That would make me uncomfortable, too! Hopefully there will be no need for an open house, fingers crossed! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 I can understand why your friend would be creeped out over the idea of a stalker physically being in her home, whether she was there at the time or not. It would feel like an invasion. One suggestion -- would the stalker even know that the house was for sale if there was no sign out front? The house could be listed on the real estate sites and the description could say that there is no road sign. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 29, 2022 Author Share Posted March 29, 2022 5 minutes ago, Catwoman said: I can understand why your friend would be creeped out over the idea of a stalker physically being in her home, whether she was there at the time or not. It would feel like an invasion. One suggestion -- would the stalker even know that the house was for sale if there was no sign out front? The house could be listed on the real estate sites and the description could say that there is no road sign. I’ll ask about that! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 I would also consider asking the realtor if they could reach out to some other realtors she knows with the info that the house is being prepared for the market but the seller is interested in selling quickly before it is officially listed. With the way the housing market is in many areas there are likely lots of realtors who would pounce on the ability to get their buyers in for a viewer before it goes public. 10 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 2 minutes ago, hjffkj said: I would also consider asking the realtor if they could reach out to some other realtors she knows with the info that the house is being prepared for the market but the seller is interested in selling quickly before it is officially listed. With the way the housing market is in many areas there are likely lots of realtors who would pounce on the ability to get their buyers in for a viewer before it goes public. I like this idea a lot! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 29, 2022 Author Share Posted March 29, 2022 13 minutes ago, hjffkj said: I would also consider asking the realtor if they could reach out to some other realtors she knows with the info that the house is being prepared for the market but the seller is interested in selling quickly before it is officially listed. With the way the housing market is in many areas there are likely lots of realtors who would pounce on the ability to get their buyers in for a viewer before it goes public. Oh! That’s a great idea! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 She could ask the realtor to sell it as a pocket listing - ie: to one of her clients or to someone already established as a buyer through her agency. After multiple offers, that's how we're buying our next house. It never hit the market. The seller is reportedly just as germ phobic as me. If it's a private sale the stalker won't know until the sale is complete. She might want to get a post office box BOTH to put her forwarded mail to and to put in documents regarding her current address, depending on how public the property records are in her state. I also knew someone who started a company and put her new house in the name of the company instead of in her own name to dodge a stalker. She then "rented" the property from the company or something like that. She had to get a lawyer involved to get it set up legally but it was legal. I think she also got her next car through the company too. 6 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 Thing might vary by area but, here, buyers’ agents will call the seller’s agent for scheduling showings. No agent seems to be bothering with people who aren’t pre-qualified. And pre-qualified people have to use their real names to get pre-qualified. So can the friend’s agent be given a name or names to not allow? Though I do think the paperwork in and of itself would likely keep low-key creeps out. I’d also consider putting a camera or two around, just for reassurance that no one suspicious has been there. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 29, 2022 Author Share Posted March 29, 2022 7 minutes ago, Carrie12345 said: Thing might vary by area but, here, buyers’ agents will call the seller’s agent for scheduling showings. No agent seems to be bothering with people who aren’t pre-qualified. And pre-qualified people have to use their real names to get pre-qualified. So can the friend’s agent be given a name or names to not allow? Though I do think the paperwork in and of itself would likely keep low-key creeps out. I’d also consider putting a camera or two around, just for reassurance that no one suspicious has been there. I was wondering about a list of names, too, but not sure if it’s legal or would be considered discriminatory. She’s asking her agent. There are cameras outside, I think, I will ask again. Pre-qualification might be the best deterrent, and I’m really hoping she can get some offers before it even goes on the market. That feels like a great option! Things are moving fast around here, so could work. Definitely adds a layer of complexity and angst to selling one’s home! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eos Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 1 hour ago, Spryte said: walking through and photographing her space. I would worry about stalker leaving a tiny camera somewhere. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 I was also going to suggest a pocket listing. Agents will show it to their preferred clients. I would also make sure her realtor knows what is going on. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 1 hour ago, Eos said: I would worry about stalker leaving a tiny camera somewhere. Oh, wow! I hadn’t even thought of the guy sneaking tiny cameras or microphones into the house, but that is such an excellent point! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 29, 2022 Author Share Posted March 29, 2022 1 hour ago, Eos said: I would worry about stalker leaving a tiny camera somewhere. Aaack! I don’t even know how friend would prevent something like that. Hopefully stalker and friends won’t view house so that won’t happen. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristin0713 Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 Great ideas already shared - definitely use an agent that is willing to do a pocket listing and help screen buyers. She should also put up cameras outside and inside. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 29, 2022 Author Share Posted March 29, 2022 2 minutes ago, kristin0713 said: Great ideas already shared - definitely use an agent that is willing to do a pocket listing and help screen buyers. She should also put up cameras outside and inside. I think she has outside cameras. I’ll ask again at some point. Are inside cameras legal, I vaguely recall a discussion about cameras during house viewings here in the past and think it was questionable. I could be remembering wrong though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 In my area, some people putting houses on the market are going on a local private FB group (with people with a common interest) and asking if anyone there is looking first. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 2 hours ago, Eos said: I would worry about stalker leaving a tiny camera somewhere. Or stealing a "memento". Just because he's just being creepy, doesn't mean it won't escalate to actual violence. has she tried for a restraining order and been denied? Moving could potentially trigger the stalker to the next phase of stalking. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 She can put cameras in rooms to know if he even comes in the house or not - and if so, does anything suspicious or not. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 (edited) 1 hour ago, Spryte said: I think she has outside cameras. I’ll ask again at some point. Are inside cameras legal, I vaguely recall a discussion about cameras during house viewings here in the past and think it was questionable. I could be remembering wrong though! If there was any question about that, she could probably have a note in the listing saying that there are security cameras throughout the house. Truthfully, it might not be a bad idea to do that anyway, because it might deter the stalker from visiting her house. He didn’t know he would be caught on camera. Edited March 29, 2022 by Catwoman 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 Are people back to doing in-person showings of homes again with Covid still an issue. Perhaps she can not allow any in-person showings. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 30, 2022 Author Share Posted March 30, 2022 21 minutes ago, wintermom said: Are people back to doing in-person showings of homes again with Covid still an issue. Perhaps she can not allow any in-person showings. Oh! I think that’s a possibility! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristin0713 Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 1 hour ago, Spryte said: I think she has outside cameras. I’ll ask again at some point. Are inside cameras legal, I vaguely recall a discussion about cameras during house viewings here in the past and think it was questionable. I could be remembering wrong though! Yeah it was from my comment about our cameras during showings. Our realtor told us it was very common now and not a problem unless they are hidden. I mean, so many people have them. 🤷♀️ I wouldn’t show my house without them personally. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 30, 2022 Author Share Posted March 30, 2022 1 minute ago, kristin0713 said: Yeah it was from my comment about our cameras during showings. Our realtor told us it was very common now and not a problem unless they are hidden. I mean, so many people have them. 🤷♀️ I wouldn’t show my house without them personally. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristin0713 Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 22 minutes ago, wintermom said: Are people back to doing in-person showings of homes again with Covid still an issue. Perhaps she can not allow any in-person showings. How can you not do in person showings? We sold our house in October 2020 and there were showings. Most people won’t buy a house sight unseen. Although in this market, maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 1 minute ago, kristin0713 said: How can you not do in person showings? We sold our house in October 2020 and there were showings. Most people won’t buy a house sight unseen. Although in this market, maybe. There haven't been in-person showing in Canada for a couple years because of Covid. The housing market is booming. No problems selling homes in my area in a matter of days with multiple offers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 I am confused about the idea that anyone at all has the "right" to walk through my house. It seems like I can just tell the realtor I will not sell to XYZ person because he's been low-key stalking me and I do not want to do business with him? Because it's MY house? Not trying to argue, just trying to understand. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 This thread is bringing back memories of my best friend’s first marriage. She and her sister ask a realtor to show them the house my best friends husbands’s girlfriend lived in. Best friend and her sister placed photos of best friend and husband all over the house. Girlfriend was seriously freaked out and thought they broke in,, Good times. And yes I know how immature and inappropriate it was. She finally wised up and divorced him. But yes to the issue of a stalker….I would be very careful who I let in my house during a sale and or showing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted March 30, 2022 Author Share Posted March 30, 2022 23 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said: I am confused about the idea that anyone at all has the "right" to walk through my house. It seems like I can just tell the realtor I will not sell to XYZ person because he's been low-key stalking me and I do not want to do business with him? Because it's MY house? Not trying to argue, just trying to understand. That was my first thought, too! Just tell the agent not to show the house to the stalker person. But I wasn’t even sure (and neither was friend) if she’d even know who exactly was seeing the house? Our last home sale was years ago, and I don’t recall that we were told the names of the people viewing it. I don’t know how it’s done. Agents called ours and said they had people who wanted to come see it? Maybe? We weren’t living in our house, and I have no memory of how it went down. Friend will find out more soon, and this thread has given some good ideas on ways to hopefully limit the chances. Also, maybe stalker person won’t come to the house — that would be ideal. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 33 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said: I am confused about the idea that anyone at all has the "right" to walk through my house. It seems like I can just tell the realtor I will not sell to XYZ person because he's been low-key stalking me and I do not want to do business with him? Because it's MY house? Not trying to argue, just trying to understand. Me too. It wouldn't be like you were saying you wouldn't sell to this or that group. Just this one particular person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 36 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said: I am confused about the idea that anyone at all has the "right" to walk through my house. It seems like I can just tell the realtor I will not sell to XYZ person because he's been low-key stalking me and I do not want to do business with him? Because it's MY house? Not trying to argue, just trying to understand. There are laws against this if the home is listed with a licensed realtor. The reason is because for decades white people wouldn't sell their houses to people of color, gay people, anyone they were against living in their former home or the neighborhood. So it falls under anti-discrimination laws. Realtors don't have the option of singling someone out to not be shown the house unless other laws, like public health laws related to covid, trump the discrimination laws, and in that circumstance it isn't discrimination because showings are barred regardless of who the potential buyer is. The reality is the creepy person has not been convicted of a crime, has no restraining order against, etc. and so the laws are in stalker's favor, not the home owner. But, due to covid, it might be possible to say NO in person showings, video tour and pictures only because that is not discrimination since it is a rule placed on all potential buyers. Normally these are as-is sales and in times past meant not getting top dollar for the home, but these days the market is so nuts it might not matter at all. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 I imagine just asking for a pre approval,letter from the bank will be enough. But I also,think you can exclude a certain person from viewing your house as long as it is not for a protected reason. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 5 minutes ago, Scarlett said: I imagine just asking for a pre approval,letter from the bank will be enough. But I also,think you can exclude a certain person from viewing your house as long as it is not for a protected reason. I bet this depends on the state. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 30, 2022 Share Posted March 30, 2022 Just now, Katy said: I bet this depends on the state. True. If I was worried I would just insist on being present for all showings. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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