FB - stop following vs unfriending

[klmama]

Can the other person tell if you stop following them on FB?  What if you unfriend them?  Just hoping to avoid some drama....  

[Shoeless]

No, they can't tell if you unfollow them. If you unfriend them, they can tell by looking at their friends list. Your name will no longer be on it, so they will know.

[PeterPan]

Well they may eventually conclude you unfollowed them if you aren't commenting on their pictures, liking their posts, or responding to them in real life about what they posted. I unfollowed some relatives by marriage and someone will occasionally say something and assume I knew it. 

So no it's not showing up to them with a notice or flashing lights that it happened but they'll see the evidence.

I would say if they're acquaintances and they're that distressing, just unfriend and move on. If they're someone who has only temporarily become annoying, unfollow. If you like them, send them tea and chocolates and tell them to stop being idiots. And if you don't like them enough to send them chocolates, then what does it MATTER if you unfriend them? LOL Free up your life.

[klmama]

Thanks for the info.  Fortunately, I'm not having the problem, but someone close to me is.  I just wanted to be sure how it worked before suggesting a solution.  Thank you!

[Robin M]

Hiding them is my fallback and I’ll snooze folks for 30 days and they have no idea.  

Edited May 13, 2020 by Robin M

[Negin]

21 minutes ago, Robin M said:

Hiding them is my fallback and I’ll snooze folks for 30 days and they have no idea.  

I used to snooze some for 30 days. I noticed, however, that whenever I did this, after 30 days, much of my feed would be inundated with their posts, as if Facebook was playing catch-up or something! Now I just unfollow some. Now and again, I'll go and see if they've posted anything that I need to be aware of or whatever. 

[Pawz4me]

I unfollowed a close relative, but once a week or so--when I feel capable of ignoring the nutter things she posts and not letting them bother me--I go to her page and like photos and things like that. I'm guessing she has no idea I've unfollowed her, and yet it saves a little bit of my sanity.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Negin said:

I used to snooze some for 30 days. I noticed, however, that whenever I did this, after 30 days, much of my feed would be inundated with their posts, as if Facebook was playing catch-up or something! Now I just unfollow some. Now and again, I'll go and see if they've posted anything that I need to be aware of or whatever. 

I find that people I snoozed pop back up on my feed with excessive frequency and then I go, “Well, now I remember why you were on snooze...goodbye again!” 😆

[Carrie12345]

One thing to keep in mind is that someone you unfollow can still see and comment on your posts. That might seem obvious, but I’ve definitely forgotten that some people were still “around”. 

The other is that, if you do eventually decide to interact again, it might be a good idea to scan some missed posts to avoid an awkward situation. 

There are legitimate reasons that people miss posts even by the friends they follow, but it can still leave a question in people’s minds. 

[DawnM]

I have unfollowed SO MANY people in the last few years.   A couple of them, I went to their pages to look for something else, and YUP, remembered why I unfollowed them! 🤣

I rarely unfriend, and usually it is someone I don't know well.  Once I had a huge issue with two women in our homeschool group (it wasn't even MY issue, but they were caddy and immature and rude) and I unfriended them on FB.  The fallout from that was huge......they told everyone, told them how I wouldn't even talk to them, how I unfriended them, blah, blah, blah.  It was very high school drama like.

 

[SKL]

FTR I have facebook friends whose posts I almost never "like."  Usually relatives who are just not very evolved, LOL.  I do not assume they notice or care that I don't engage.

[PrincessMommy]

5 hours ago, Negin said:

I used to snooze some for 30 days. I noticed, however, that whenever I did this, after 30 days, much of my feed would be inundated with their posts, as if Facebook was playing catch-up or something! Now I just unfollow some. Now and again, I'll go and see if they've posted anything that I need to be aware of or whatever. 

this is what I do as well.  

[Garga]

I snooze the person for 30 days. They can’t tell that I’ve snoozed them. 

And on day 31 or 32, I snooze them again.

i can’t make myself unfollow them. It’s a sort of compulsion to keep an eye on them and see if they’re still posting things that drive me bonkers.  They always are.

[Paige]

8 hours ago, MissLemon said:

No, they can't tell if you unfollow them. If you unfriend them, they can tell by looking at their friends list. Your name will no longer be on it, so they will know.

They can also see because FB will suggest you to them as friends you may know. 

[marbel]

7 hours ago, Ordinary Shoes said:

You can't conclude that someone has unfollowed just because they stop commenting or liking posts. FB has some weird algorithms where posts might not show up on your feed. I think you have to go in and click something so you see everyone's posts. And even if you choose to see every post, FB might put them behind other posts. 

Yes. I don't see all the posts of every person I follow because of those algorithms, and even if there was a way to see every single post every day... I am not spending that much time on FB to see everything. I don't post often, but I don't assume that because any particular friend or relative didn't  react to or comment on my post, that they've unfollowed me.  When someone says "oh, didn't you know? I posted it on facebook?" I just say "I don't catch everything" or "must have missed that one."  Both of which are true.

 

[Lady Florida.]

8 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Well they may eventually conclude you unfollowed them if you aren't commenting on their pictures, liking their posts, or responding to them in real life about what they posted. I unfollowed some relatives by marriage and someone will occasionally say something and assume I knew it. 

So no it's not showing up to them with a notice or flashing lights that it happened but they'll see the evidence.

 

I don't unfriend family members but I've unfollowed a few. I occasionally go to their page and like a kid photo or comment on a non-controversial post just so they don't start getting suspicious. 🙂 

[alisoncooks]

3 hours ago, Quill said:

I find that people I snoozed pop back up on my feed with excessive frequency and then I go, “Well, now I remember why you were on snooze...goodbye again!” 😆

Lol, yes! I snooze my MIL because she posts excessive amounts garbage. Every month or so, I'll be scrolling along, wondering why my feed is full of unpleasantness. Ahh...mil is back.  Re-snooze. 

[Ellie]

8 hours ago, Ordinary Shoes said:

You can't conclude that someone has unfollowed just because they stop commenting or liking posts. FB has some weird algorithms where posts might not show up on your feed. I think you have to go in and click something so you see everyone's posts. And even if you choose to see every post, FB might put them behind other posts. 

No, there isn't anything you can do to see everyone's comments. Thank goodness, because I have a boatload of friends. I don't think it would be possible to see everyone's comments every day! OTOH, if I haven't heard from someone in awhile, I can go to her timeline and see what's up.

[TCB]

I usually snooze, occasionally unfollow if the repeated snoozing is inevitable. This time I have actually unfriended a couple because I know if I see the stuff they are posting at all I won’t want to talk to them in real life. I’m hoping they won’t necessarily remember that we were FB friends, especially since I’m still friends with some of their family members so hopefully they may think they’ve seen my stuff on their families feed not theirs lol.

[SquirrellyMama]

You can also have FB hide some types of posts from particular people. So, if some reposts a lot of Rush Limbaugh or the 99% (or 98%) group, you can go and hide all posts by those groups. That might effectively snooze certain people if that is all they post.

Kelly

[Ellie]

21 minutes ago, Ordinary Shoes said:

There used to be something that you could select so you would see posts from all of your friends. I can't find that option anymore so perhaps it no longer exists. I know it was there because I checked it once but that was a few years ago. 

Are you *sure* you saw that, or are you thinking of the FB meme hoax that makes its way through periodically?

As I said, it is always possible to see all of your Friends' posts; they're just all not going to show up on your newsfeed, because it would be like a fire hose of data for some of us, lol. You just go to your Friends' newfeeds and see what you want to see instead instead of their comments showing up on your own. Also, if you frequently react to or comment on your friends' comments,  those are the friends whose comments will automatically be in your newsfeed.

[Paige]

You can make a list of people you want to see somehow and then you can see all their posts. I have one labeled "people I want to see" and then I can check in on only their posts and it will show them when normally FB's algorithm may not.