When you are stressed

[Soror]

what are the steps you take to help?

I'm in the midst of high tide of stress. I started to list it all but don't feel like it, the specifics don't matter. I'm trying to make myself to-dos so I can focus on finite things but I'm a little buried right now and having a hard time getting on top of it especially with not feeling the best physically (flu and then fall allergies). I did umpteen million little things yesterday which felt good but then there is just more. I've got to recover here.

I am taking naps because I literally can't keep my eyes open, stress and illness have jacked with my sleep.I'm taking magnesium. I exercise but not as much as I want right now due to limited time and energy.

[mommyoffive]

For me it depends what kind of stress it is.   Is it because I am super busy, drama, or the house is  a wreck? 

I think you are doing all the right things.  

For me-  If I am busy I will try and cancel some things that I can.  Ask for dh to help out.  Figure out ways to make it easier for me. 

Drama-  I figure out ways to step out of it as much as possible.  

House is a wreck- freak out for a second and then get to work.  I get the kids to do things.   I function a lot better when the house isn't a tornado.

 

Otherwise it is chocolate, a hot drink, a long walk with the dog, a day to myself, watching a show (or five) and sleep. 

I hope you feel better soon. 

[fairfarmhand]

22 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

For me it depends what kind of stress it is.   Is it because I am super busy, drama, or the house is  a wreck? 

I think you are doing all the right things.  

For me-  If I am busy I will try and cancel some things that I can.  Ask for dh to help out.  Figure out ways to make it easier for me. 

Drama-  I figure out ways to step out of it as much as possible.  

House is a wreck- freak out for a second and then get to work.  I get the kids to do things.   I function a lot better when the house isn't a tornado.

 

Otherwise it is chocolate, a hot drink, a long walk with the dog, a day to myself, watching a show (or five) and sleep. 

I hope you feel better soon. 

This is excellent. 

Figuring out a way to step away from normal responsibilities to "catch up" or have a "mental health break" is ok. As a homeschool mom, yes, we're always on call, but nobody will fall to pieces if they miss soccer practice for 2-3 days, or only do math this week or whatever. 

For drama type stuff, I go to a therapist, who usually reassures me that "This is not really your problem to solve, so it's ok to not  be involved in the solution."

Can you do groceries and such with Walmart pick up to just eliminate one time consuming chore? 

Often, it's the multititude of little things that pile on and make the big stressors much worse, so figuring out simple ways to streamline household stuff helps me. Whether that means that I have a week of crock pot meals or frozen pizza type meals, I use Walmart Grocery pickup, or call someone to clean the house, just having a few less things to manage when the big stressors are there does help. 

Naps are good. If you need it, schedule them. I found when my babies were small that forcing myself to nap made me a more effective person the rest of the day. I got much more accomplished when I took the time to rest than when I made myself drag through my chores. 

For me, rest is essential. I can take over the world if I've been well rested. So start there. Then, make sure your food is right. I want to reach for the carby easy crap when I'm stressed, instead of cooking an egg and having fruit for breakfast. If I can force myself to eat right for the first meal of the day, my mind is clearer. Also, having a go-to lunch eliminates decisions for me and I'll eat better if lunch is always a salad or soup or whatever. (This is good for the kids too, so I don't have to list 5 options for "What's there to eat for lunch?" If I have 2 choices, that's that.) When I have eaten well, and I'm resting well, I usually can cope with life. 

Also B Vitamin complex first thing in the morning is good for my brain.

[lovinmyboys]

I like what the pp said. One thing I try to do is have one thing to look forward to every day. I used to be better about this and I just realized I need to do it again. Whether it was planning even 15 minutes to read for fun, watch a show, or drink hot apple cider and listen to a podcast. I usually feel like I can get through the normal stressors if I know that at some point during the day I will get a bit of time to do whatever I want. 

I also agree with sleep. I have had a few threads about moving and dh traveling and how I don’t really like either one. I have realized that when I make it a priority to get all the kids to bed by 9:00, I do so much better. I still don’t always do it, but it makes a huge difference when I do.

 

[Pen]

I try to prioritize the stressors, and start doing something about the most critical first.

meanwhile I try to remember to breathe calmly, eat...

[RootAnn]

When I'm stressed, I tend to want to avoid everything & everyone. But what helps me deal with the stress is writing down what I can actually do (vs. What I can't do anything about/influence) and my secret help is Jean on Newcastle's "Who's going to tackle  [Day] with me?" I very rarely post, but know there are others out there trying to get through big & little things at the same time does help me just enough to engage vs. withdrawl.

When I avoid, things continue to pile up & somethings get worse. Then, by the time I am forced to do something, it is so bad and I'm mad at myself for waiting which snowballs into a fouler mood for me. When Mom isn't happy, no one is happy.

[unsinkable]

I'm so sorry...

I hope you get some good advice! Bc mine involves drinking caffeinated pop and eating soft-style cookies 🍪. 😞

I read your post title too quickly and I thought it said, "When you are arrested"

And I was like, "Damn, girl! What did you DO? How much is bail?"

[Soror]

2 hours ago, mommyoffive said:

For me it depends what kind of stress it is.   Is it because I am super busy, drama, or the house is  a wreck? 

I think you are doing all the right things.  

For me-  If I am busy I will try and cancel some things that I can.  Ask for dh to help out.  Figure out ways to make it easier for me. 

Drama-  I figure out ways to step out of it as much as possible.  

House is a wreck- freak out for a second and then get to work.  I get the kids to do things.   I function a lot better when the house isn't a tornado.

 

Otherwise it is chocolate, a hot drink, a long walk with the dog, a day to myself, watching a show (or five) and sleep. 

I hope you feel better soon. 

This is good exercise for me, what exactly is stressing me out? 

The house is cleanish. 

There is some drama that is getting me, I am probably trying to take on more of responsibility for that than I should but it is hard not to sometimes. Dd1 was a drama storm the other night and dh talked to her, thankfully he just gave me the highlight reel, honestly I already knew it but I couldn't take it on without cracking myself and they love talking to daddy.

Dh is beyond buried himself between working like crazy with big projects, college classes, and fighting illness too.

The kids are pitching in but as we are taking turns being sick someone has been out of commission for weeks which puts more on everyone else- that is part of it.

I don't have anything I can cancel.

chocolate and hot drink--- every day 🙂

I have too much on my brain so am perpetually missing or forgetting something that causes me more work- forgot my wallet last week, library card.. etc

1 hour ago, fairfarmhand said:

This is excellent. 

Figuring out a way to step away from normal responsibilities to "catch up" or have a "mental health break" is ok. As a homeschool mom, yes, we're always on call, but nobody will fall to pieces if they miss soccer practice for 2-3 days, or only do math this week or whatever. 

For drama type stuff, I go to a therapist, who usually reassures me that "This is not really your problem to solve, so it's ok to not  be involved in the solution."

Can you do groceries and such with Walmart pick up to just eliminate one time consuming chore? 

Often, it's the multititude of little things that pile on and make the big stressors much worse, so figuring out simple ways to streamline household stuff helps me. Whether that means that I have a week of crock pot meals or frozen pizza type meals, I use Walmart Grocery pickup, or call someone to clean the house, just having a few less things to manage when the big stressors are there does help. 

Naps are good. If you need it, schedule them. I found when my babies were small that forcing myself to nap made me a more effective person the rest of the day. I got much more accomplished when I took the time to rest than when I made myself drag through my chores. 

For me, rest is essential. I can take over the world if I've been well rested. So start there. Then, make sure your food is right. I want to reach for the carby easy crap when I'm stressed, instead of cooking an egg and having fruit for breakfast. If I can force myself to eat right for the first meal of the day, my mind is clearer. Also, having a go-to lunch eliminates decisions for me and I'll eat better if lunch is always a salad or soup or whatever. (This is good for the kids too, so I don't have to list 5 options for "What's there to eat for lunch?" If I have 2 choices, that's that.) When I have eaten well, and I'm resting well, I usually can cope with life. 

Also B Vitamin complex first thing in the morning is good for my brain.

Trying to avoid drama, some is circulating around me. Also, part of my stress is friendship stuff, that is a whole other thing, but is weighing me down and I don't know what I should do or want to do.

I've been taking b vitamins but added in more.

It is the little things, it is so the little things.

I did plan ahead on meals so there is less to think about and the kids help cook- most nights cooking is not a big stress, I like to cook. Food has been ok'ish, room for improvement but not horrible considering. I did nosh on potato chips yesterday afternoon but *mostly* eat whole foods, I know the better I eat the better I feel. I try to work on meal prep when I have more energy earlier in the day. Easier food would be less to do but I don't feel as good, food has got to be prioritized over other house things. I grocery shop during on the kids TKD class and actually don't mind it, I go to Aldi's so that isn't a big stress. Now when I have to pick things up at other places that can be a stress, I need to figure out Kroger's grocery pick-up for the few things I get from there, that would make life easier.

Naps are coming at the expense of more group work with the girls, which I love, so I hate that but I can't not nap when I'm not sleeping.

I'm trying on the rest, we are usually in bed by 8:30-9, sometimes 8 b/c I get up early and dh even earlier but the stress is jacking with my sleep and making it difficult to go to sleep, which is so annoying.

1 hour ago, lovinmyboys said:

I like what the pp said. One thing I try to do is have one thing to look forward to every day. I used to be better about this and I just realized I need to do it again. Whether it was planning even 15 minutes to read for fun, watch a show, or drink hot apple cider and listen to a podcast. I usually feel like I can get through the normal stressors if I know that at some point during the day I will get a bit of time to do whatever I want. 

I also agree with sleep. I have had a few threads about moving and dh traveling and how I don’t really like either one. I have realized that when I make it a priority to get all the kids to bed by 9:00, I do so much better. I still don’t always do it, but it makes a huge difference when I do.

 

I generally have plenty of time to sleep, just stress interfering with sleep. It does make a huge difference. I might need to take some melatonin or benadryl to help break the cycle.

1 hour ago, Pen said:

I try to prioritize the stressors, and start doing something about the most critical first.

meanwhile I try to remember to breathe calmly, eat...

I need to do some mindful breathing, funny thing when more stressed it went out the window 🙂 Trying to prioritize but then I still have those other to-dos nagging my head.

47 minutes ago, RootAnn said:

When I'm stressed, I tend to want to avoid everything & everyone. But what helps me deal with the stress is writing down what I can actually do (vs. What I can't do anything about/influence) and my secret help is Jean on Newcastle's "Who's going to tackle  [Day] with me?" I very rarely post, but know there are others out there trying to get through big & little things at the same time does help me just enough to engage vs. withdrawl.

When I avoid, things continue to pile up & somethings get worse. Then, by the time I am forced to do something, it is so bad and I'm mad at myself for waiting which snowballs into a fouler mood for me. When Mom isn't happy, no one is happy.

I've been mostly posting in tackle threads for that reason, so I don't crawl in the hole and hope that things go away. Sometimes though it seems too much to list everything out and/or keep up with coming back on and checking them off. Maybe I should make myself a physical list.

I know so many have much worse to deal with, which makes me feel like a whiny baby, I'm trying to tackle it by the horns and get sh*t done but I do feel much more stressed than I'd like to be.

Edited October 16, 2019 by soror

[Spryte]

Massive stress here (repercussions from my long thread last week), so I’m reading along for more ideas.
 

So far, here’s what I’ve got:

- prioritizing the ridiculous number of things that must be done, and scheduling them in the most sane way possible.  One major, emotional thing per day.

- eating well, even if it means ordering from Door Dash

- outsource anything possible: grocery delivery; amazon for small items we need; help cleaning; etc

- passing off what I can to DH because my brain can’t handle much more, I don’t have the bandwidth.  He’s handling kid drama this week, etc.

- morning coffee with DH to discuss the plans for the day and any new items that have arisen.  We each keep a list of items to be addressed.

- scheduling time for winding down and hanging out with DH

- exercise!  I don’t function well without it, so when things are stressful I stay on top of it

I hope you feel better soon!

[Soror]

4 minutes ago, Spryte said:

Massive stress here (repercussions from my long thread last week), so I’m reading along for more ideas.
 

So far, here’s what I’ve got:

- prioritizing the ridiculous number of things that must be done, and scheduling them in the most sane way possible.  One major, emotional thing per day.

- eating well, even if it means ordering from Door Dash

- outsource anything possible: grocery delivery; amazon for small items we need; help cleaning; etc

- passing off what I can to DH because my brain can’t handle much more, I don’t have the bandwidth.  He’s handling kid drama this week, etc.

- morning coffee with DH to discuss the plans for the day and any new items that have arisen.  We each keep a list of items to be addressed.

- scheduling time for winding down and hanging out with DH

- exercise!  I don’t function well without it, so when things are stressful I stay on top of it

I hope you feel better soon!

Hugs to you too!!! Adulting is hard. I need more time with dh period, we've been way too much of passing ships I usually don't even see him in the morning and evenings are kid stuff and homework for him. Our time together is going to bed early and talking but he's been crashing. I am exercising but being sick has knocked me down from doing as much as I like, I'm trying to give myself grace for that. Prioritizing is hard too, I mean some things it is easier to figure out, others not so much.

20 minutes ago, unsinkable said:

I'm so sorry...

I hope you get some good advice! Bc mine involves drinking caffeinated pop and eating soft-style cookies 🍪. 😞

I read your post title too quickly and I thought it said, "When you are arrested"

And I was like, "Damn, girl! What did you DO? How much is bail?"

LOL, thanks for the laugh!!! Things are not quite that bad!!!

[fairfarmhand]

To help the “I can’t forget about x.” I’m a list maker. Write it down, follow the list.

journal a brain dump before bed. It really helps me dump out the stuff that bugs me and interferes with sleep. I’ll do this in the middle of the night too if problems are keeping me away. It helps turn off the circle of worry. 

Also I have simple predictable sweet fiction to read before bed and in the night if I don’t sleep well to help rest my brain. I like the Mitford books by Jan karon that I’ve read a dozen times already.

[Soror]

Thank you ladies for helping me think this through.

Some of the things weighing most heavily are emotional things. I don't feel I've got the bandwidth to even deal with if I had a clue how to. I got the flu, I told MIL and she was worried about dh, not one note of concern for me and no inquiry the entire weekend ds had to take care of me while dh took everyone camping. Dh had a minor version this weekend while I was gone camping and she's bringing him food and all fawning over him. None of his family cared I was sick.A couple of my friends have not been real great to me, we all have our own things going on but I'm tired of being the one to contact others, I'm tired and it hurts my feelings.

Illness has been kicking our butts for 6 weeks now and now dd3 is not feeling well and dd2 has a sore throat again. My cough has came back, I think allergies and my stomach started hurting yesterday- I can't figure out what kind of pain(maybe stress who knows) it is but it is the cherry on top of it right now. Ds has had it horribly bad and is on a slow mend. I worry for the kids when I hear them coughing in the night and want this damn stuff to go away. That brings with it financial worry b/c our clinic changed hands and I can't get in without 2-3 week wait which is useless in this case so now I think I'm going to have to get us all new dr's so we have someone to see when we get ill and aren't stuck with urgent care- which is hella expensive and a crap shoot. I don't even know where to start with that, I don't want to have to pick a dr, I loved the dr we had and I'm just so pissed and sad that they changed it. 

And I think I've just had way too much people time and my introvert self is dying. I do get some down time most days but it is not enough with having to see people and be 'on' so much. 

5 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

To help the “I can’t forget about x.” I’m a list maker. Write it down, follow the list.

journal a brain dump before bed. It really helps me dump out the stuff that bugs me and interferes with sleep. I’ll do this in the middle of the night too if problems are keeping me away. It helps turn off the circle of worry. 

Also I have simple predictable sweet fiction to read before bed and in the night if I don’t sleep well to help rest my brain. I like the Mitford books by Jan karon that I’ve read a dozen times already.

I need to do this, I need to write things down with a pencil and paper. I think it would help

[Spryte]

I wish we could all bring you some dinners, boxes of tissues, and OJ.

That sounds miserable.

[Melissa in Australia]

One thing I found helped me when I was going through a soul breaking stressful time of external stress (something there was no control over and was beyond chocolate) was the exact opposite of meditation. It was bombarding my brain with music, The Pirates of Penzance  . I would listen to it with headphones. Over and over again. It completely drowned out my ability to think and dwell on a problem so big. It stopped my from having a complete mental collapse. 

Afterwards (a year and a half afterwards the issue went on for more than a year) professionals have asked me how did I manage to keep so calm, how did I manage to get through it. It was that reverse meditation, those annoying pirates singing in my head. 

Edited October 19, 2019 by Melissa in Australia

[Soror]

16 hours ago, Melissa in Australia said:

One thing I found helped me when I was going through a soul breaking stressful time of external stress (something there was no control over and was beyond chocolate) was the exact opposite of meditation. It was bombarding my brain with music, The Pirates of Penzance to be prosice . I wouldisten to it with headphones. Over and over again. It completely drowned out my ability to think and dwell on a problem so big. It stopped my from having a complete mental collapse. 

Afterwards (a year and a half afterwards the issue went on for more than a year) professionals have asked me how did I manage to keep so calm, how did I manage to get through it. It was that reverse meditation, those annoying pirates singing in my head. 

Oh, my, I do love singing. That has been my escape sometimes, even with the kids in the car. I'll turn it up so I only hear the music and sing along. And comedy, I like to watch comedy shows, really anything heavy, I need the escape. 

I took some melatonin last night, I woke up at 3 but went back to sleep, the day feels doable. 

I started working on lists and feel better already getting it all out. This weekend is going to be rough but will be worst of the busyness for awhile.

 

[Murphy101]

If it’s a brief whatever, like a busy week - I just power through it.

If it’s life drama/trauma in general what’s helping me cope is:

Walking. Lots of walking. If I have to get up at 5am to get 7-8k steps in, then that’s what I do.  And a similar walk before bed too. It doesn’t have to be walking though. Any exercise for 20 minutes or more will help. Exercise releases endorphins and many other chemical cocktails that are proven to help with depression and stress.

Removing mood destabilizing foods from diet - sugars and breads/pastas and alcohol.

Priority items done ASAP upon waking reduces stress of not getting to that walk or not having healthy meals or whatever.

Go to the dr and have a complete physical. Thyroid, VitD and B and iron, general health being seen to will make it physically easier to weather stress.

Mass and friends. Spiritual and community support is important.

 

[sassenach]

Here's my list. I'm currently in a season of both high emotional and logistical stress.

Go to bed EARLY. Like 8pm if I can. I'm an angry napper. If I am going to get extra sleep, it will always be on the front end.

Get a date night with DH. One of the best things I've found is to stay super connected with dh in times of stress. Dinner out, a glass of wine, dessert...these are all helpful.

Meal plan, grocery delivery, boxed meal services....anything to simplify meals.

Getting alone time, whether that be at home or by sitting in the car.

MUSIC. I have albums that I always return to when I'm stressed. It's my comfort music.

Exercise and eating right. Not to say that I don't indulge in a little comfort food, but I'm finding it less effective than I used to. 

Yoga. I'm not into the woo of yoga, but I do find stress reduction in taking a time just for myself, really focusing on my breathing, and stretching out my tense muscles. Just the act of saying "I am focussing only on myself for the next hour" is helpful.

Bullet journal. I make a list of everything. ALL the things. Then I tackle them one by one (or delegate, or decide that they don't really need to be done right now).

[prairiewindmomma]

My list is like Sassenach’s. And my escapist tv is Outlander. 🙂

Soror, as far as the people stress goes, I have learned to put a lot of people on mute in the last few years. Dh’s family is difficult, so I just let go of the responsibility for maintaining those relationships. Dh had already opted out of maintaining those because he didn’t enjoy the interactions—so why did *I* feel obligated to try to maintain/fix those? It was ridiculous pressure I was putting on myself.

Likewise, there is a lot of teen drama in our house right now. I don’t really need to solve their problems, nor do I need to tolerate all of the goo. I give them a moment to vent and demand and in my head they are just kind of on mute, iykwim. I watch them rant and rave and I am totally detached from it. Usually I say nothing at all, or if I do, it’s only something like, “Wow! You are really upset? What are your thoughts on how you are going to deal with that?” But mostly I just send them to take a shower or eat something and if the ranting is still going on I ask them to take it to their rooms because they are making everyone around them miserable.

Put on your oxygen mask and deal with the essentials. Have your written list so you don’t have to mentally rehearse it. But everything else...prioritize getting yourself into a good head space. I used to try to be all things to all people and that was stupid. 

[mom2scouts]

Thanks for asking this. I'm right there with you, including the flu, fall allergies, and the need for frequent naps. I feel like I'm on the verge of total burnout. DH is clueless, plus he has hoarding tendencies and doesn't understand how stressful all the piles are to me. I'm going to have to try all the suggestions here!

[Soror]

2 hours ago, Murphy101 said:

If it’s a brief whatever, like a busy week - I just power through it.

If it’s life drama/trauma in general what’s helping me cope is:

Walking. Lots of walking. If I have to get up at 5am to get 7-8k steps in, then that’s what I do.  And a similar walk before bed too. It doesn’t have to be walking though. Any exercise for 20 minutes or more will help. Exercise releases endorphins and many other chemical cocktails that are proven to help with depression and stress.

Removing mood destabilizing foods from diet - sugars and breads/pastas and alcohol.

Priority items done ASAP upon waking reduces stress of not getting to that walk or not having healthy meals or whatever.

Go to the dr and have a complete physical. Thyroid, VitD and B and iron, general health being seen to will make it physically easier to weather stress.

Mass and friends. Spiritual and community support is important.

 

I have some short term stress and longer term. I'd love to walk first thing but get up at 5:30 for teaching online(although I've been waking up early and doing odds and ends around the house), come time change it will be 4:30 and it's dark now in the morning. But when time changes I will get done teaching at 7am, it will be rough adjusting to the earlier wake up time but then I'll have some more time in the morning again. I do love walking and am not getting enough with less time and not feeling 100%..

I'm trying to prioritize.

I just had my thyroid retested and am good, I've got Hash's. 

11 minutes ago, sassenach said:

Here's my list. I'm currently in a season of both high emotional and logistical stress.

Go to bed EARLY. Like 8pm if I can. I'm an angry napper. If I am going to get extra sleep, it will always be on the front end.

Get a date night with DH. One of the best things I've found is to stay super connected with dh in times of stress. Dinner out, a glass of wine, dessert...these are all helpful.

Meal plan, grocery delivery, boxed meal services....anything to simplify meals.

Getting alone time, whether that be at home or by sitting in the car.

MUSIC. I have albums that I always return to when I'm stressed. It's my comfort music.

Exercise and eating right. Not to say that I don't indulge in a little comfort food, but I'm finding it less effective than I used to. 

Yoga. I'm not into the woo of yoga, but I do find stress reduction in taking a time just for myself, really focusing on my breathing, and stretching out my tense muscles. Just the act of saying "I am focussing only on myself for the next hour" is helpful.

Bullet journal. I make a list of everything. ALL the things. Then I tackle them one by one (or delegate, or decide that they don't really need to be done right now).

Good list! I generally do power naps and it works well for me. 

I need more alone time for sure. I'm trying to balance simple food and whole foods.

We for sure could use a date or at least some time together, maybe next week when things are a little slower

I pulled out the bullet journal and started working on lists yesterday

17 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

My list is like Sassenach’s. And my escapist tv is Outlander. 🙂

Soror, as far as the people stress goes, I have learned to put a lot of people on mute in the last few years. Dh’s family is difficult, so I just let go of the responsibility for maintaining those relationships. Dh had already opted out of maintaining those because he didn’t enjoy the interactions—so why did *I* feel obligated to try to maintain/fix those? It was ridiculous pressure I was putting on myself.

Likewise, there is a lot of teen drama in our house right now. I don’t really need to solve their problems, nor do I need to tolerate all of the goo. I give them a moment to vent and demand and in my head they are just kind of on mute, iykwim. I watch them rant and rave and I am totally detached from it. Usually I say nothing at all, or if I do, it’s only something like, “Wow! You are really upset? What are your thoughts on how you are going to deal with that?” But mostly I just send them to take a shower or eat something and if the ranting is still going on I ask them to take it to their rooms because they are making everyone around them miserable.

Put on your oxygen mask and deal with the essentials. Have your written list so you don’t have to mentally rehearse it. But everything else...prioritize getting yourself into a good head space. I used to try to be all things to all people and that was stupid. 

Ya, I generally try more to maintain relationships with his family than he does. But some times I drop the ball and I wish I was better at this people stuff. I have an inferiority complex with his family, you'd think after 20 yrs I'd get over it, I hear the 40s are a good time to stop worrying about others, so maybe this is my decade. 

 I usually do fairly well with not being sucked into kid drama but Monday I was just at a breaking point and then Ive had some girl drama(thankfully not much but I am way too invested with just starting a new troop which is it's own stress) with my Scout girls, teenage girls! Other people's kids are a different ball of wax. Dd1 is a pretty good kid but has started in on the hormonal stuff, it has been an adjustment for us all!!!

12 minutes ago, mom2scouts said:

Thanks for asking this. I'm right there with you, including the flu, fall allergies, and the need for frequent naps. I feel like I'm on the verge of total burnout. DH is clueless, plus he has hoarding tendencies and doesn't understand how stressful all the piles are to me. I'm going to have to try all the suggestions here!

I think the fall is a rough time for so many, so much going on. One day at a time, we're trudging through together.

[Ausmumof3]

We went through a bit of stress a couple of months ago.  Not someone dying or crazy illness stress but just life stuff.  One thing that sounds so obvious but I noticed I’d get this kinda tight clenching feeling in my chest. I noticed that each time I felt it if I did a kinda scan I’d realise there was some kinda physical need that I was delaying dealing with.  Maybe just the need for some lip balm or a glass of water or whatever.  I found it really helped just to identify that thing and take care of it.  It sounds stupidly simple but maybe it was some kind of way of saying - you know what.  I’m worth taking care of.

outside of those self care tasks I just really tried to focus on doing just the thing in front of me.  Not giving myself permission to drown in the big picture.  Just tackling the next thing.

[Garga]

When I have a huge amount of things to do, I don’t make a single to-do list.  Instead I either use separate sheets of paper, or a spiral notebook, or an excel worksheet (I’ve used all three in the past and each has their pros/cons) and I create a week’s worth of to-do lists.

So instead of there being 70 things to do this week, there are only 10 things to do each day.  I prioritize which things must be done first and those are on the earlier lists, but by the end of the week everything is done. 

If I don’t do that, then I spin my wheels looking at 70 things to do and trying to figure out which item to do right now.  It helps me to sit down in one session and assign all the tasks to different days and then whittle away at the list daily.  I’ve had a lot of success working through huge lists that way.

Over the summer, I even created a spreadsheet that was weeks long for bigger projects and not just for a single week.  

When I do it that way, I can release all those thoughts of “But wait!  When will I get to X?!?  I’d better see if I can squeeze in Y and Z right now!”  I just follow my daily list, knowing that everything will be done within the week.