Help me think - Lutheran high school or public?

[Pen]

I had a friend who was in 9th grade private school, also a year younger than average, then decided she hadn’t learned much in 9th and switched to public school, starting over as a 9th grader.  I think it was a good decision on her part.  Since she herself decided, there wasn’t any bad feeling of having been held back by someone else. 

The explanation was pretty easy- something like “I skipped ahead when I was younger, but I felt like I wanted to be in the other class with more kids my same age.”  Ironically it’s probably the emotionally lost and socially anxious who most need the extra time to mature— and who would be most socially embarrassed and emotionally unable to make a straightforward explanation. 

Edited June 10, 2019 by Pen

[SKL]

As for Calculus, I actually don't care if they don't take Calculus in high school or ever.  If they want to, they will make it work like lots of other kids do.

[Pen]

It won’t be a problem at Lutheran school since there’s only one class worth of kids.

If you are talking with Public School I’d suggest you ask whether a significant number of dc take Algebra 1 in 8th—and if so, whether that affects non-math class placements.   It may not.  Some schools have most math classes in a math block leaving English, History etc unaffected even if Algebra 1 is the norm.  )Science sometimes has to be affected due to math underlying it) 

[SKL]

40 minutes ago, Pen said:

It won’t be a problem at Lutheran school since there’s only one class worth of kids.

If you are talking with Public School I’d suggest you ask whether a significant number of dc take Algebra 1 in 8th—and if so, whether that affects non-math class placements.   It may not.  Some schools have most math classes in a math block leaving English, History etc unaffected even if Algebra 1 is the norm.  )Science sometimes has to be affected due to math underlying it) 

To clarify, it is my kids' K-8 that only has 1 class of kids per grade.  The Lutheran high school has about 100 kids per grade.

I looked at the public school's course math sequence.  There is an "honors" sequence and a "general" sequence.  "Honors 7" students take Algebra 1 in the 8th grade, everyone else takes it in the 9th.  I don't know how many kids are in "honors."  The other core classes are all the same for everyone in 8th.  The only upper level non-math courses that might need advanced math placement are a few honors / AP science courses.  I don't see that being an issue for us.

I've known people who went through Calculus in 4 years.  They just doubled up in year 2 or 3.  I also don't think everyone needs to take Calculus to get into college.

Edited June 10, 2019 by SKL

[Pen]

1 hour ago, HeighHo said:

Now that the math is settled, take a look at the placement in honors for English and SS.  In my neck of the woods, the difference is in the workload and the amount of writing instruction.  Reg ed has little writing at all here  - those who make the cut for DE English 101 and 102 will get the bulk of their writing instruction in twelfth grade, those who don't will not unless they are going on to U or CC.  Honors placement is by testing in, and there will not be enough seats held for all transfers -- your dc that is a good reader might want to bone up for the test if she enjoys lit. Honors SS is what SS was when we were dc - on grade level or better students.  Talk to the gc about that.

 

It sounded like the child who is more academically capable would not want to have a heavier workload.  Probably only an issue if she were put in with her same age peers which @SKL doesn’t want to do.  With the kids a year older she’ll probably be fine with the regular non honors group academically.  The only issue then would be again a peers one, both as to age and as to whether there’d be more compatible kids in the honors groups. 

[SKL]

I will ask the public folks about testing into honors.  I do want them to have good writing instruction.

[Pen]

2 hours ago, SKL said:

To clarify, it is my kids' K-8 that only has 1 class of kids per grade.  The Lutheran high school has about 100 kids per grade.

I looked at the public school's course math sequence.  There is an "honors" sequence and a "general" sequence.  "Honors 7" students take Algebra 1 in the 8th grade, everyone else takes it in the 9th.  I don't know how many kids are in "honors."  The other core classes are all the same for everyone in 8th.  The only upper level non-math courses that might need advanced math placement are a few honors / AP science courses.  I don't see that being an issue for us.

I've known people who went through Calculus in 4 years.  They just doubled up in year 2 or 3.  I also don't think everyone needs to take Calculus to get into college.

 

Just as a last repeat to make sure of clarity, and realizing your schools may be extremely different—in schools around my area other classes like social studies and language arts may just be called English 9, or History 9.  However, the different classes may do things differently or at different speeds according to the average ability in the class.  So an English 9 meeting at same time as Algebra 1 may have less reading, less writing, etc, because it doesn’t have the honors math kids in it, many of whom will be good at academics generally not just at math.  Thus it can affect other classes academically and also who will most likely become friends, met in many classes through day. 

[SKL]

FTR I was young in my grade (graduated high school at 16), and it really wasn't an issue, so I am not inclined to fear the age difference.  I was only thinking it might be one factor in the decision between schools for my family.  As I recall my experience from 9th grade on in a public high school, it was pretty good, especially my final year.  8th grade sucked, but my kids are doing 8th in their current school.

[SKL]

1 minute ago, Pen said:

 

Just as a last repeat to make sure of clarity, and realizing your schools may be extremely different—in schools around my area other classes like social studies and language arts may just be called English 9, or History 9.  However, the different classes may do things differently or at different speeds according to the average ability in the class.  So an English 9 meeting at same time as Algebra 1 may have less reading, less writing, etc, because it doesn’t have the honors math kids in it, many of whom will be good at academics generally not just at math.  Thus it can affect other classes academically and also who will most likely become friends, met in many classes through day. 

My kid can't be the only girl who is better at reading than math.  But I get your point.  My kids might have to be in classes where not everyone is smart.  I'm OK with that.  But I will see what we can do with placement tests, assuming kid does not screw up the test like she often does.

[Pen]

1 minute ago, SKL said:

FTR I was young in my grade (graduated high school at 16), and it really wasn't an issue, so I am not inclined to fear the age difference.  I was only thinking it might be one factor in the decision between schools for my family.  As I recall my experience from 9th grade on in a public high school, it was pretty good, especially my final year.  8th grade sucked, but my kids are doing 8th in their current school.

 

Undoubtedly that affects how many of will see this depending on our own experience.

I found it harder to be not old enough to drive when everyone else in my class was driving. Etc (that was in LA area before move to NYC, so not driving was socially isolating ). 

[SKL]

1 minute ago, Pen said:

 

Undoubtedly that affects how many of will see this depending on our own experience.

I found it harder to be not old enough to drive when everyone else in my class was driving. Etc (that was in LA area before move to NYC, so not driving was socially isolating ). 

Where I went to school, most families (mine included) were too poor to have a car for their high school student, so it didn't make a difference that I couldn't drive.  My then 18yo brother, who graduated with me, also did not have anything to drive.

Nowadays I think the trend is toward adults being afraid to let high school teens drive.  Even if they can drive, they have restrictions against having non-sibling minors in the car.  So honestly, that is the least of my worries.  I am hoping and praying that my kids will be great drivers and pass their driving tests on the earliest possible date.  😛

[SKL]

I am wondering if kids are allowed to just choose honors courses or if they have to test/prereq into them.  When I was in high school, it was up to us to choose "college prep" or "general" courses.

[SKL]

So if I'm going to contact the public school folks, I should probably have a list of questions rather than ask as I think of stuff.  What other questions should I ask?

[Storygirl]

I'm going to chime in on the math thing, just because we have been dealing with it ourselves this year. And I'm in the same state as SKL so I am guessing there is a greater chance of high school tracking being similar.

Eighth graders who take algebra can then take biology in ninth grade. Eighth graders who take pre-algebra take physical science in 9th grade. So the science placement is determined by the math placement.

DS14 does well in math on the daily work -- basically all A's, and mostly 100s -- but his teacher will not approve him to be placed in algebra next year for eighth grade, because he did not score in the "advanced" range on the placement testing. We asked the teacher for an explanation, because DS desperately wants to be in algebra next year, and he likes science, so we know that it will affect his science placement in high school.

The teacher said DS's only alternative option was to do 8th grade math online over the summer to see if he can then place into algebra or not. We decided not to do that. I think having a solid foundation in prealgebra is most important, so if he does summer school math to skip ahead, we will save that for a summer in high school, and perhaps have him do geometry over the summer after his freshman year. Or see if he can double up and take two sciences in 10th or 11th grade, if he wants to get to the higher level science classes.

Out of my four kids, I will have zero kids taking algebra in 8th grade, and it's going to be okay for them to do it in 9th. One of them will actually be doing algebra in 10th grade.

The really advanced math kids took algebra in 7th, and some of those do extra math classes in the summer, so they are doing calculus in 10th grade and then taking DE math classes for the last couple of years of high school. I imagine that is the same at the public school in SKL's area, even if that does not show as a path in the course catalogue.

In our school, someone can be in the advanced language arts class, even if they are not in advanced math. DS14 will be in advanced LA next year for 8th grade, even though he can't take algebra. There are several tracks for English in high school as well -- everything from remedial to advanced to AP to dual enrollment is offered.

[Pen]

13 minutes ago, SKL said:

So if I'm going to contact the public school folks, I should probably have a list of questions rather than ask as I think of stuff.  What other questions should I ask?

 

Shadowing for a day next year.  Events. If you can be put on mailing list to let you know about drama performance, sports events, etc to start attending.  If there are any things at the public school your girls can join while at private school in 8th to get to know some kids (for example our local school hosts a ukulele group that’s open to students and community, and before having started the school, my Ds had participated in a summer film camp and joined the cross country team). Availability of both academic and emotional counseling if needed.  Career prep classes if any...

[Storygirl]

Here placement in honors for high school is based on what the 8th grade teachers recommend. Students can opt out of honors and take regular classes if they wish, but they cannot sign up for an honors class without teacher recommendation.

[73349]

12 hours ago, Pen said:

I graduated high school at 17 and 2 months. I wish I had had another year for maturing more. 

I graduated at 17 years 5 months and it was great, and having to wait another year would've been miserable. For me, hanging around in classes where the content was too easy encouraged me to be lazy, and more delay would've made it even worse. After being considered an underachiever in elementary and middle school, I did well in high school (as well as my DH, who was in my class but 13 months older and a hard worker by nature), went to college 2 hours from home, rocked it academically, and made responsible choices. Kids vary. Not everyone who is a little young and/or socially immature is going to follow her peers into trouble.

SKL, I wonder how attached you are to 1) having them both at the same school and 2) having them in the same place all 4 years, and how hard it is to get into the Lutheran school if you don't start in 9th (I know some schools work hard to fill 9th and then have few or no openings after that). This would sort out whether you can have them start at public but keep Lutheran as a back-up option if the PS turns out to be unsatisfactory, and/or whether you should start them at the Lutheran school but can keep PS as a back-up if the commute is just too much.

Edited June 10, 2019 by whitehawk

[mumto2]

14 hours ago, SKL said:

If it weren't for the distance, I think the Lutheran school would win hands down.  So I should probably look into options for transportation.  Maybe there are some possibilities that don't devour hours of study time.

FWIW, My kid’s best friend has a long bus ride through heavy traffic each day,  one to two hours, with her school friends all 90minutes away on a normal drive. She doesn’t resent it but has lots of extracurricular activities close to home......she rides horses and her stable is walking distance from home etc.   Gets some studying done on the bus.  She does some extracurricular activities at school but many are wrapped into the school day.......clubs meet at lunch time so she eats a sandwich very quickly.

It has been a challenge because her mom died two years ago and her dad became a single parent.  I don’t think they would have made a different decision school wise if they had known because our local schools are dreadful.  That private is the best and what we would have used.  The drive is harder when there is just one working parent to make it.  His work days involved a great deal of travel previously so huge adjustments have been made.  I think a major part of the equation is your ability/desire to make the school run.  Add to it what about when one stays after and the other girl wants to be on the bus?

 

[Selkie]

Just chiming in to say that I also graduated high school when I was 17, then worked and saved money and went off to college when I was 18. It worked out perfectly for me.

[MysteryJen]

SKL, I think you do a great job thinking about your girls' needs and how they will best succeed. Because of that, I don't think either school will be a "wrong" decision. I only have two comments.

1. I have kids with all sorts of birthdays. You have to make the choice about school enrollment based on the kid- not anecdotes, studies or some weird fear of your kid being the youngest or the shortest or the least mature. Someone has to be those things. It is not the end of the world to be the shortest or the youngest or the last to get your driver's license. Graduating high school at 17 is fine. Going to college at 17 is fine. SKL's girls will be going to high school next year. And they will be fine. 

2. I vote for the high school closest to you. Because it is nice to make friends who live close by. It is nice to have people meet up at your house to go to football or basketball games. It is nice not to be driving all over creation for friend get-togethers. BTDT. Also, it is nice to have a diverse high school of all different kinds of people.

[Pen]

19 minutes ago, whitehawk said:

I graduated at 17 years 5 months and it was great, and having to wait another year would've been miserable. For me, hanging around in classes where the content was too easy encouraged me to be lazy, and more delay would've made it even worse.

 

I was at that point at a wonderful school for gifted children in NYC .    Alternatively might have been at Stuyvesant if I’d then been willing to drop back a year.  

And also I guess I have been picturing my son’s school or the schools of some children of friends nowadays, in various places.

If I picture myself still at the awful Place I started high school at, or maybe even just a typical regular not very good school, I realize that I’d agree with you!  

Quote

After being considered an underachiever in elementary and middle school, I did well in high school (as well as my DH, who was in my class but 13 months older and a hard worker by nature), went to college 2 hours from home, rocked it academically, and made responsible choices. Kids vary. Not everyone who is a little young and/or socially immature is going to follow her peers into trouble.

SKL, I wonder how attached you are to 1) having them both at the same school and 2) having them in the same place all 4 years, and how hard it is to get into the Lutheran school if you don't start in 9th (I know some schools work hard to fill 9th and then have few or no openings after that). This would sort out whether you can have them start at public but keep Lutheran as a back-up option if the PS turns out to be unsatisfactory, and/or whether you should start them at the Lutheran school but can keep PS as a back-up if the commute is just too much.

 

ITA 

👍

Edited June 10, 2019 by Pen

[SKL]

This morning, I requested and got permission for my daughter to participate in the public school's cross country conditioning.  In fact, the coach added that she can also participate in the season if she wants to!  Really?  I am excited for her and for me!  Her other option was a very inconvenient schedule at the Lutheran high school.  I'm liking this public stuff already ....

[SKL]

26 minutes ago, whitehawk said:

...

SKL, I wonder how attached you are to 1) having them both at the same school and 2) having them in the same place all 4 years, and how hard it is to get into the Lutheran school if you don't start in 9th (I know some schools work hard to fill 9th and then have few or no openings after that). This would sort out whether you can have them start at public but keep Lutheran as a back-up option if the PS turns out to be unsatisfactory, and/or whether you should start them at the Lutheran school but can keep PS as a back-up if the commute is just too much.

Good question.  I really do want them together and I am not a fan of moving around at all.  I think we can make it work in either school, but some things will be harder depending on which school we choose.  But not so hard that we need to throw in the towel, I don't think.  I have friends whose kids have gone through the public school district and survived it.  They did not love everything about it, but who ever does ....

[Pen]

29 minutes ago, SKL said:

This morning, I requested and got permission for my daughter to participate in the public school's cross country conditioning.  In fact, the coach added that she can also participate in the season if she wants to!  Really?  I am excited for her and for me!  Her other option was a very inconvenient schedule at the Lutheran high school.  I'm liking this public stuff already ....

 

That’s great!

Can they both do that?  At our school some kids participate in XC conditioning even if not very athletic just for the conditioning and social aspect—even if they walk rather than run.  Not of course if medically inadvisable.

[SKL]

29 minutes ago, Pen said:

 

That’s great!

Can they both do that?  At our school some kids participate in XC conditioning even if not very athletic just for the conditioning and social aspect—even if they walk rather than run.  Not of course if medically inadvisable.

Pretty sure my other daughter will hate it - plus she has a clarinet lesson at that time.  🙂   But as suggested above, I will look into stuff like band and drama performances that she may find interesting.  I signed up for alerts about all the girls' sports either of my kids might be interested in watching, if not playing.

[chiguirre]

4 hours ago, SKL said:

To clarify, it is my kids' K-8 that only has 1 class of kids per grade.  The Lutheran high school has about 100 kids per grade.

I looked at the public school's course math sequence.  There is an "honors" sequence and a "general" sequence.  "Honors 7" students take Algebra 1 in the 8th grade, everyone else takes it in the 9th.  I don't know how many kids are in "honors."  The other core classes are all the same for everyone in 8th.  The only upper level non-math courses that might need advanced math placement are a few honors / AP science courses.  I don't see that being an issue for us.

I've known people who went through Calculus in 4 years.  They just doubled up in year 2 or 3.  I also don't think everyone needs to take Calculus to get into college.

What sort of colleges might your dds want to attend? This is key to all of these decisions. I think you should do a reverse engineering exercise for at least your state flagship university or any highly selective schools that are often attended by students from your area. What do their admitted students look like? Did they overwhelmingly take 5 or more APs including Calc AB or BC? Are high school courses weighted so that your class rank is terribly impacted if you aren't on the preAP/AP track throughout high school (this is the case in Texas, but other states are different)? 

Once you have an idea about what's required for these schools, I'd sit down and discuss the situation with your dds. They may not care about starting at the local CC or going to a school with non-selective admissions, but they need to make that choice consciously. If they are going to be bitterly disappointed that they won't get in to the state flagship as freshman because they won't have the level of rigor necessary, then they need to consider their options now. One of the key questions on the counselor's letter for college apps is whether or not the student took the most rigorous courses available at their school. By not placing into the algebra in 8th grade sequence in your state, they're already starting out at a disadvantage at any selective school. This might not be a big deal at all to them, but they need to go into high school understanding the rules of the selective college admissions game if they want to play it.

[EmilyGF]

1 hour ago, MysteryJen said:

2. I vote for the high school closest to you. Because it is nice to make friends who live close by. It is nice to have people meet up at your house to go to football or basketball games. It is nice not to be driving all over creation for friend get-togethers. BTDT. Also, it is nice to have a diverse high school of all different kinds of people.

That's what I would do. We looked at four top public schools that were test-in (think Stuyvescent sp? in NYC) and said to our kid that he could apply to the one he could get to on a bus in 20 minutes. The other ones were all an hour. Forty minutes per day, twice a day, adds up to move than 6 hours per week - almost another full school day. Some kids could use that time productively, but not mine. 

Emily

[Mom0012]

16 hours ago, SKL said:

If it weren't for the distance, I think the Lutheran school would win hands down.  So I should probably look into options for transportation.  Maybe there are some possibilities that don't devour hours of study time.

I think you’ve got your answer here. I’m betting there are parents setting up carpools. I know you work ft, but you might be able to pay to participate in one.

ETA: posted this before I saw your excitement about the cross country program at the public school

Edited June 10, 2019 by Mom0012

[katilac]

 

2 hours ago, SKL said:

Pretty sure my other daughter will hate it - plus she has a clarinet lesson at that time.  🙂   But as suggested above, I will look into stuff like band and drama performances that she may find interesting.  I signed up for alerts about all the girls' sports either of my kids might be interested in watching, if not playing.

Also, it's nice for siblings (particularly 'twins,' lol) to do some things on their own. 

I still vote public school, because distance may be only one factor but it is a big factor when one of the kids already struggles with getting everything done. She'll now have the added time due to distance on top of the extra work involved in high school. I don't see that as something that is going to change. 

[Pen]

Sounds like, with XC etc., you have 2 very good options, though neither perfect.  It will probably be okay whichever you choose.  

[mathnerd]

You have had issues with their current lutheran school for a long time and you have also posted about having difficulty with afterschool schedule because of all their activities, homework, test prep etc.  The Lutheran High School is far away and will require 2 levels of commute - to the elementary school dropped off by someone (you, carpool, Uber etc) and then, a bus ride of 45 minutes (a good estimate) from there to the HS. I am assuming that they would spend an hour each way commuting which is 10 hours a week trying to get to the school and back. Will both your kids be independent learners by 9th grade so that they can pull out their books or laptop during commute and work on homework and test prep? Will both of your kids be able to get to their afterschool extracurriculars at all with that commute? Will they be able to retain their current interests in extracurriculars if they stayed closer to home for school? Will they be able to walk to public high school without your help at least when the weather is good? Will the private school allow acceleration to equal the DE options in public school?  How is the teacher quality in the high schools that you are considering? Are there subject language experts teaching the content in the Lutheran HS?

So, those would be the reasons to consider the public high school seriously.

[Jaybee]

On the algebra issue, we've been in a variety of schooling situations over the years. While I know it's been trending that way, none of my kids took Algebra I in 8th grade (I don't think--it's possible one dd did), including my two still at home. In hindsight, I am glad they didn't. That extra year gave them a better understanding. Now, none of my kids have gone to an Ivy League for undergrad, but none of them have suffered either, and had no problems with entry into a good decent university or their courses there, except for my oldest, and that was late in his college career--and had nothing to do with academics--more to do with other things going on in his life. My most mathy/sciency child is now in an Ivy League for grad school and doing well. Of my four older kids, one has a master's degree, one is halfway through, and one is thinking about it. The other is happy currently with her BSN.

[SKL]

33 minutes ago, mathnerd said:

You have had issues with their current lutheran school for a long time and you have also posted about having difficulty with afterschool schedule because of all their activities, homework, test prep etc.  The Lutheran High School is far away and will require 2 levels of commute - to the elementary school dropped off by someone (you, carpool, Uber etc) and then, a bus ride of 45 minutes (a good estimate) from there to the HS. I am assuming that they would spend an hour each way commuting which is 10 hours a week trying to get to the school and back. Will both your kids be independent learners by 9th grade so that they can pull out their books or laptop during commute and work on homework and test prep? Will both of your kids be able to get to their afterschool extracurriculars at all with that commute? Will they be able to retain their current interests in extracurriculars if they stayed closer to home for school? Will they be able to walk to public high school without your help at least when the weather is good? Will the private school allow acceleration to equal the DE options in public school?  How is the teacher quality in the high schools that you are considering? Are there subject language experts teaching the content in the Lutheran HS?

So, those would be the reasons to consider the public high school seriously.

According to independent websites, the Lutheran school scores a little higher in most areas, but I am not sure if that is enough to offset the commute.

There is dual credit (college / high school) at both schools.

The public school is still not close enough to walk.  (I was wrong - it's actually closer to 3 miles away.)  While the distance is walkable, it would still take a long time, and with the amount of heavy books kids have to drag back and forth each day, it's not realistic even to ride bikes.  (Plus, where we live, the weather is not bikeable most of the school year.)

According to my gps, the public high school is a 9 minute drive vs. a 26 minute drive (mostly freeway) for the Lutheran high school.  I do not know how the bus rides will compare.  Since the Lutheran high school is accessible by freeway and presumably has fewer stops, it might not be a huge difference getting there in the a.m.  But after school logistics are another matter.

[Ottakee]

One thing with the transportation to the public school is you are more likely to find people to carpool with, parents you could pay to pick up/drop off your child, etc with the public school.

I am a newly single mom of 3 and I moved 10 miles closer in to town for transportation.  The driving was killing me.  It took so much time away from home to get the home stuff done.  

 

[katilac]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

According to my gps, the public high school is a 9 minute drive vs. a 26 minute drive (mostly freeway) for the Lutheran high school.  I do not know how the bus rides will compare.  Since the Lutheran high school is accessible by freeway and presumably has fewer stops, it might not be a huge difference getting there in the a.m.  But after school logistics are another matter.

You need to add a lot of time for school traffic, though. Can you ask around on Facebook if anyone knows a realistic time for each school? Also, where does each school allow you to drop off? Dropping them off a few blocks away is a big difference from having to wait in a drop-off and pick-up line. I often pass by a private high school, and there is a looong line of cars waiting to pick up. It's not a quick procedure. Avoiding that line would be a plus for me!

[Pen]

 

1 hour ago, SKL said:

I do not know how the bus rides will compare. 

 

Bus for local public  school is possible? 

[Pen]

 

Quote

26 minute drive (mostly freeway) for the Lutheran high school. 

 

If you have to do that drive frequently, is it feasible ?  

Would you maybe even enjoy it?  

Maybe you’re a person who enjoys driving and having that time to talk with your kids?  If they open up and talk then rather than listening to their own music 

 

In the times given,  did you include that if you are transporting them for school or activities that you aren’t attending, it’s double for you— there and back to drop off , there and back to pick up...

compounded perhaps if one child is in sports and another in band and drama with different practices and performance/ competition schedules. 

[WendyLady]

12 hours ago, SKL said:

I am wondering if kids are allowed to just choose honors courses or if they have to test/prereq into them.  When I was in high school, it was up to us to choose "college prep" or "general" courses.

It varies! In some schools there are honors classes and gifted classes. Parents or kids could request to go to honors classes with no problem, but needed to test in to gifted classes. 

For both our current small town (not so great but we still love it) high school and previous (much bigger with way more options) fairfax county secondary school my kids were able to enroll in advanced or honors classes (along with AP or IB classes) by just us asking. We took transcripts/grades but didn’t have any specific teacher recommendations or tests needed to qualify.

[Tanaqui]

You've spent so much time in the past complaining about their current school that at points I've seriously wondered why you didn't transfer them already. The public school might not be better (although, unlike private schools it is legally obligated to accommodate learning disabilities) but if people in your neighborhood haven't warned you away from it then it probably isn't *worse*. That plus the commute... I mean, I'd be looking forward to banking the tuition for the future, that's all I'm saying.

[SKL]

13 hours ago, Pen said:

 

 

Bus for local public  school is possible? 

I thought they did, but your question prompted me to call and ask.  And they do NOT bus high school students.  That stinks.  So that means every morning I will need to drive the kids someplace one way or another.  (We are not close to a city bus stop.)  One more con for the public school.  Boo!

[SKL]

8 hours ago, Tanaqui said:

You've spent so much time in the past complaining about their current school that at points I've seriously wondered why you didn't transfer them already. The public school might not be better (although, unlike private schools it is legally obligated to accommodate learning disabilities) but if people in your neighborhood haven't warned you away from it then it probably isn't *worse*. That plus the commute... I mean, I'd be looking forward to banking the tuition for the future, that's all I'm saying.

I didn't think I complained that much, LOL.  But a lot of my complaints are because the district (i.e. the public school) let me down many times regarding testing for my eldest.  The school could have been more helpful, but it was the district's primary responsibility, I think.

[Storygirl]

I would still consider that drive to the public school to be much preferable to the longer private school commute. I drove my four kids around to three private schools for years -- one of the schools was a 25 minute one way drive --  and racked up hours of driving per day just for school commuting. So I did consider it worth it for our situation, but I am also offering the perspective that is only worth it if you have ruled out closer options.

* There were many times when I could not take DD17 to social events with her friends. Because to drive her 30 minutes there, then 30 minutes to get myself back home, then 30 minutes to pick her up, then 30 minutes back home would cost me two hours of driving for her to have two hours of fun. There were times when we just couldn't do that. It's easier to socialize when friends live closer.

* Remember to factor the cost of gas and wear and tear on the vehicle and/or cost of hiring someone to drive them, multiple times daily, for four years.

* Remember to factor the commute after school to any extracurriculars. Not only ones at their school, which may require you to make multiple after school trips if the girls have different activities, but any outside lessons, like the horseback riding. DD17 had daily ballet lessons, and that increased the complexity of our driving schedule exponentially.

* Once they can drive themselves to school, you will very likely feel more comfortable allowing that when the distance is shorter. We are comfortable allowing DD17 to drive to her school now that we live 10 minutes away; when we lived 25 minutes away and the roads had higher speed limits, having her do that on her own as a new driver felt a lot less safe.

* You will have an easier time finding carpooling with local families to the public school.

* It will be easier to get the girls to school events such as football games, dances, school plays, etc. Especially if you would drop them off and pick them up again, you would be able to go home in between if you lived closer, but you would either need to burn a lot of time and gas to get home and back or hang out there, if you choose the farther school.

* Private tuition times two for four years is a huge consideration. When I considered the cost over the whole school career, it gave me a different perspective on the financial commitment than thinking of the tuition as year by year.

* Sometimes public school busing situation changes, depending on the passage of levies, but the private school would not.

* Driving to and from the public school daily would take 20 minutes of your morning and 20 minutes in the afternoon. For the private school, it would take 40 minutes in the morning and 40 in the afternoon. 20 minutes can seem like a short errand; 40 is a much bigger chunk, and it adds up really quickly and turns into hours (ask me how I know).

You seem like you really want to choose the Lutheran school. It may be a great choice!! DD17's school was a great choice for her, despite the distance. But the commute is absolutely going to be a burden, both for the daily classes and for the social and extracurriculars. It was a lot harder on our family than I expected it to be.

[SKL]

The start time for the public school is 25 minutes earlier than at the Lutheran school.  So even with the transportation, waking up will probably be about the same.  Once I'm out of bed

OK so getting the kids to school in the morning is going to be about the same.

After, the later dismissal from the Lutheran school / p.m. bus ride to K-8 school might actually be helpful vs. having to find someone around at 2:30 to drive the kids.  I wonder if they let kids hang around and do homework after school?  I know that was a no-no when I was a kid.

[Storygirl]

I've also found that DD17's desire to hang out with her friends is only increasing as she gets older. Living closer to them is a big plus. When we used to have to say no to taking her to social events, it caused some strife, even though DD17 is easy to get along with generally.

You are going to have two teen girls, perhaps with two sets of friends and double the social opportunities that need transportation. I think it's not easy to predict what this will be like, based on the middle school experiences. The closer school has the definite advantage for this aspect.

[Storygirl]

The three private schools we have been a part of did not allow students to remain after school unless they were in an activity or in aftercare (yes, even the high school had this rule).

DD17's private school let out at 3:15. The public school lets out around 2:15. The problem with the later dismissal time is getting to extracurricular activities on time. We were always rushing to get her to dance class, for example. And private school students who want to participate in the public school sports had conflicts, because the sports would start earlier. Our school had study hall and electives at the end of the day and would allow early release for people who participated on the public school teams. But no transportation, so parents would have to pick them up at one school and take them to the other, then wait around or return to get them at the end of practice. DD17 had to take early release to get to dance on time.

[SKL]

I work remotely on a laptop, so I normally would sit and work nearby if I had some reason to have to drive my kids to and from an activity far from home.

I also can hire a driver for routine stuff like practices.  (I do that now also.)  But I do like to be there for games / performances.

I'm still 50/50 at this point.  Plus, it sounds like one of my kids is leaning one way and the other is leaning the other way.  😕

Edited June 11, 2019 by SKL

[SKL]

3 minutes ago, Storygirl said:

The three private schools we have been a part of did not allow students to remain after school unless they were in an activity or in aftercare (yes, even the high school had this rule).

DD17's private school let out at 3:15. The public school lets out around 2:15. The problem with the later dismissal time is getting to extracurricular activities on time. We were always rushing to get her to dance class, for example. And private school students who want to participate in the public school sports had conflicts, because the sports would start earlier. Our school had study hall and electives at the end of the day and would allow early release for people who participated on the public school teams. But no transportation, so parents would have to pick them up at one school and take them to the other, then wait around or return to get them at the end of practice. DD17 had to take early release to get to dance on time.

If my kids go to the Lutheran school, they would do sports there.  Their non-school sports should not be an issue as they do not start until 5:00 at the earliest. 

I am thinking of something that may or may not be possible.  My sportsy kid's kiddy gym has a branch right down the street from the Lutheran high school.  I wonder if they would let her go there after sports, in exchange for some help or whatever.  That would make pickup more flexible.  There is also a big shopping plaza right there with Starbucks etc.  Also she could just learn how to take the city bus like many other kids do.

My concern is whether she would use her time wisely to do homework / study, or hang out with friends.

[Storygirl]

When DD17 switched from homeschooling to brick and mortar school in 9th grade, she really wanted to go to the public school. But our public school is huge, with up to 800 students per graduating class. And she would not be able to do afterschool activities, because of her dance schedule. We worried she would have trouble finding a social group, because she would not be able to be in the same classes with the same kids all day long -- every class would have a different mix of kids. So DH and I thought the private school would be better for her socially.

DD did not like that idea and visited the private school rather reluctantly. But she met nice people on her shadow day and came out saying that she thought the private school might be all right. She still preferred public, but DH and I chose the private one for her. She's been happy, and it was a good choice, even though it was not her first choice.

All that to say that whatever school you pick, your daughters will probably be happy there in the long run.

I do have to add that DS14 is much happier at his current public school than he was at private school. He used to complain that he didn't really like the private school but was unable to say why. Now that he is at public, he says he likes having a wider group of people to be friends with, more choice of classes, better extracurricular opportunities, and not having to wear a uniform.

I agree that those are benefits of the public school. DD17's private Christian high school has about 15 to 20 students per graduating class; it is growing, so the upper classes have fewer and the lower classes have more. There are both pros and cons to attending a smaller school. DS14 definitely likes being at a bigger school and prefers public (his previous private school had about 12-35 students per grade, depending upon the year).

I do wish my three younger children were going to be able to have the experiences DD17 has had at her small Christian school, but they will get to have benefits at the public school that she did not. I think they will all turn out to have been fine choices in the end. We did, however, specifically choose this public school and moved to be able to attend here; we did NOT want our younger kids to go to the giant 800 per class school, either, so we moved.

[Storygirl]

DD13's private school (different one than the others I've talked about so far) does let students walk off campus after school with parental permission. Some students walk home. At least one walks or skateboards over to the public school to do public school sports practice. But some schools might consider that a liability and not permit students to walk or bike. Ask the school this, because it can vary.

[Pen]

11 minutes ago, SKL said:

The start time for the public school is 25 minutes earlier than at the Lutheran school.  So even with the transportation, waking up will probably be about the same.  Once I'm out of bed

OK so getting the kids to school in the morning is going to be about the same.

After, the later dismissal from the Lutheran school / p.m. bus ride to K-8 school might actually be helpful vs. having to find someone around at 2:30 to drive the kids.  I wonder if they let kids hang around and do homework after school?  I know that was a no-no when I was a kid.

 

All of this worth asking about at both schools:

Some schools have after school sports practices or interest groups pretty much daily. Some parents have kids do them partly to make day longer.  

Officially at our school they can’t stay to study past school out. But several teachers are around late working, grading papers etc, and if arranged to be in a teachers ‘ room then they can officially stay.  Or if in an official tutoring session they can.

also in one family I know of with several kids, who come from out of district- -  all the kids stay till the end of the latest sports practice or activity so the mom picks up at the end and the ones waiting do work on homework   I don’t think it’s official but no one seems to have told them to go home.

We haven’t done this, but apparently the gym is open to work out or play pick up basketball if not basketball season on all or certain days after school, with a gym teacher present, even if kids are not on a team.  My Ds has sometimes used that to work out in the weight room. 

One working single mom with a dd (still not driving as a Senior)  had the dd go home with another family and the mom then picked up after her own work  I think that started Sophomore year after the dd had made friends with the dc of other family (through XC team which is also how I got to know them) and continued the rest of high school.  

A friend’s dc’s school has after school study hall daily prior to sports practice so athletes study and do homework before they get tired.   (I thought it was a great idea! But I learned part of reason was their school has coaches who do other things during day and need kids to start practice later.  Our school has teachers as coaches and they want to start immediately after school, then get home)

Since you’re close to public school, probably someone, a Senior with a DL, for example, who gets out at same time, could drive them in exchange for gas money.  You have to be careful not to pay in a way that legally turns it into a taxi business for someone.