Question for pool owners

[MeaganS]

Now that we know we're buying a house with a pool, I have some questions. I've never owned a pool before, and although dh has (it was the same house we're buying, after all) he was a teenager. So, what sort of rules and requirements do you have for family and friends at your pool?

Our new one has good safety fencing, alarms on the door so I know when someone's going out there, etc. But it is a fairly large pool with a deep end, diving board, and slide. My older 3 kids are very beginner swimmers. As in, they can tread water but are still afraid of putting their heads under. This is mostly due to lack of exposure to swimming. My 3yo is a non-swimmer. My first order of business will be to get them all up to a good swimming level. But beyond that, what do you guys suggest. I should probably get my cpr certification, I think. Dh is a physician and has to keep his up, but he's not there as often as me. Anything else? Any advice? 

[Scarlett]

22 minutes ago, MeaganS said:

Now that we know we're buying a house with a pool, I have some questions. I've never owned a pool before, and although dh has (it was the same house we're buying, after all) he was a teenager. So, what sort of rules and requirements do you have for family and friends at your pool?

Our new one has good safety fencing, alarms on the door so I know when someone's going out there, etc. But it is a fairly large pool with a deep end, diving board, and slide. My older 3 kids are very beginner swimmers. As in, they can tread water but are still afraid of putting their heads under. This is mostly due to lack of exposure to swimming. My 3yo is a non-swimmer. My first order of business will be to get them all up to a good swimming level. But beyond that, what do you guys suggest. I should probably get my cpr certification, I think. Dh is a physician and has to keep his up, but he's not there as often as me. Anything else? Any advice? 

If I were you I would get them all in swimming lessons right now.  I think having a good alarm system and fencing is critical for those ages.  When we bought our house with a pool my boys were 11 and 12 and both good swimmers.  We did have the rule of no swimming alone for them...but now they don't even care about it.

As for guests, I would not have more kids in the pool that I could not keep up with (meaning eyes on them at all times) without their parent being with them.

Enjoy the pool.  Your kids are perfect ages to have years of enjoyment out of it.

[Momto6inIN]

Nobody swims alone, adults included. No kids swim without an adult at home in case of emergency.

A pool is a lot of work but so so so worth it! We get hours and hours of enjoyment and exercise from ours every year!

[wintermom]

No one swims alone, and there is a dedicated person who is the "life-guard" on duty when the pool is in use. The "life-guard" is doing this job and is not distracted with the phone, making/serving food or drinks, drinking alcohol or visiting. The life-guard has their eyes on the pool and is either in the pool with swimmers, or right at pool-side while the pool is in use.

This is easier to do when there are no guests over, but when there are guests over, or there is a party, then a dedicated "life-guard" still needs to be in place. My friend used to hire a life-guard during birthday pool parties so that she could deal with the food/drinks and party side of things, and know that a life-guard was on duty.

It sounds like your pool is rather large, and I would equip it with pool-side rescue items such as a pole to reach out and help weak swimmers, a ring-buoy or similar. Quick response to swimmers in trouble can prevent the need to use artificial respiration and/or CPR. 

Edited January 17, 2019 by wintermom

[Lecka]

This is an issue I have had with little wading pools and public pools -- what if I have to use the restroom, or a young child needs help in the restroom.

Well, everyone is going to get out.  

I would need my oldest child to hold the hand of a younger child at times, for this to work.  

I would also think about rules for kids who don't want to be out swimming when you are out supervising.  Are some allowed to do some things but not others in the house?  Do some need to be in the pool area so that you can supervise them?  

I have 3 kids within 3 years, so I often wouldn't want to leave any of them unsupervised for very long at all, and then if I needed to go check on one in the house, then are all the kids going in with me?  Do I trust them to sit out and wait for me outside?  

Do you need rules/guidelines about kids going in and out and getting things wet?  

Do you need rules/guidelines about towels?  Will each kid have a towel and a place to hang it up, in general?  What about goggles?  Will you have rules about sunscreen?  These are the kinds of things where I need to be strict early in the summer and very clear about what I expect, and then it is a habit they take for granted after a little bit of time.  I want goggles put somewhere that makes sense, not randomly left somewhere around the house, for whatever reason they are easy to misplace if I don't have a designated place and expectation that they be kept there.  You might think about water bottles also, or however you want to do drinks, if you want to limit going in and out of the house or just have it be easier to manage.  I love when people have outdoor mini-fridges or coolers, for drinks.  

We have an above-ground pool now and it is wonderful.  We have only had it since all the kids could touch, I think it is 4 feet deep.  If they all run in one direction, they can make huge waves.  They have so much fun.  

With younger kids -- I had to have rules about splashing -- "no splashing."  I had to have kids sit out for a time for splashing.  Now that they are older that is not a big deal, but when they were younger they just could not handle any splashing without somebody getting upset.  

 

Edited January 17, 2019 by Lecka

[MeaganS]

34 minutes ago, Momto5inIN said:

Nobody swims alone, adults included. No kids swim without an adult at home in case of emergency.

A pool is a lot of work but so so so worth it! We get hours and hours of enjoyment and exercise from ours every year!

 

Yes, we're very excited. I already planned on making a strict "don't swim alone" rule for the kids but I hadn't considered it for the adults.

We have done several rounds of swim lessons with the older 3 kids and for some reason all 3 are stalled. They've all got it in their heads that swimming underwater is scary, and that combined with some special needs with my oldest, has made them rather ineffectual. I've long suspected that with some one on one time with me and more exposure we'd make some progress but living in northern Minnesota and the ymca being 25 minutes away has sort of put a nix on that. Right now I plan on doing one on one mom lessons with them starting from as soon as we move, with strict door locks until they prove to me they are safe enough.

We do have a variety of life vests and puddle jumpers already, and I'll probably be picking up some more as sales happen. And I believe the pool already has a pole and rescue pool ring. 

[MeaganS]

9 minutes ago, Lecka said:

This is an issue I have had with little wading pools and public pools -- what if I have to use the restroom, or a young child needs help in the restroom.

Well, everyone is going to get out.  Yes, This is the main reason I haven't taken them swimming much on my own. I didn't feel like I could safely pay attention to my kids all at once.

I would need my oldest child to hold the hand of a younger child at times, for this to work.  

I would also think about rules for kids who don't want to be out swimming when you are out supervising.  Are some allowed to do some things but not others in the house?  Do some need to be in the pool area so that you can supervise them?  I feel totally comfortable with the kids being in the house with me outside. The house is a sort of L-shape around the pool, so almost every room has a window looking out on it. It's very close to the house and the kids are old enough to be by themselves with me outside.

I have 3 kids within 3 years, so I often wouldn't want to leave any of them unsupervised for very long at all, and then if I needed to go check on one in the house, then are all the kids going in with me?  Do I trust them to sit out and wait for me outside?  

Do you need rules/guidelines about kids going in and out and getting things wet?  We are very lucky. There's a door to the pool into the house that's tiled and leads right to a large dressing area and bathroom. It's actually an addition to the house and is in what is meant to be the master bedroom, but it's a huge room and dh and I are more than happy to use the smaller original master so as to have that room more public. The main room is going to be a large playroom/den.

Do you need rules/guidelines about towels?  Will each kid have a towel and a place to hang it up, in general?  What about goggles?  Will you have rules about sunscreen?  These are the kinds of things where I need to be strict early in the summer and very clear about what I expect, and then it is a habit they take for granted after a little bit of time.  I want goggles put somewhere that makes sense, not randomly left somewhere around the house, for whatever reason they are easy to misplace if I don't have a designated place and expectation that they be kept there.  You might think about water bottles also, or however you want to do drinks, if you want to limit going in and out of the house or just have it be easier to manage.  I love when people have outdoor mini-fridges or coolers, for drinks.  This is good advice. I'll have to think on it. We plan on establishing a sort of outdoor kitchen. Dh loves smoking meat and has a propane pizza oven that must be used outside, so a small fridge might be a great idea. As for towels, I'm thinking I'll use that dressing area as a sort of hub for swim suits and towels and have a sort of outdoor storage for everything else. I'll have to think on it.

We have an above-ground pool now and it is wonderful.  We have only had it since all the kids could touch, I think it is 4 feet deep.  If they all run in one direction, they can make huge waves.  They have so much fun.  

With younger kids -- I had to have rules about splashing -- "no splashing."  I had to have kids sit out for a time for splashing.  Now that they are older that is not a big deal, but when they were younger they just could not handle any splashing without somebody getting upset.  

 

 

[Scarlett]

We also have a no 'glass' rule.

And I asked/remind all guests to bring their own towels.  But I don't stress if someone one forgets.  

I swim alone.  More of a float around alone.....but I cherish that time.   With kids the ages of yours you probably won't have to worry about being alone for a while.  😉

 

[itsheresomewhere]

4 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

We also have a no 'glass' rule.

And I asked/remind all guests to bring their own towels.  But I don't stress if someone one forgets.  

I swim alone.  More of a float around alone.....but I cherish that time.   With kids the ages of yours you probably won't have to worry about being alone for a while.  😉

 

Floating alone time is highly unrated.  

My rule is that a phone must be out near the pool.  Seconds matter when something happens.  

[Lecka]

It sounds like you have a really nice set up!  

If you might host, it can be really nice to have plenty of cold drinks outside.  I think there is some trade-off when you think about it, because it can be nice to have a larger fridge and not have to stock it as often, and have it available when you do entertain (if you would entertain a larger group).  But that might be more than you want for all the times you aren't entertaining.  

I think it also matters if you want kids to refill water bottles and maybe just keep them cool in a mini-fridge, or if you would rather stock a lot of drinks at once, or if you would not use a mini-fridge a lot and just use coolers, etc.  

When we host, it is a chore to get a cooler ready if we are going to do a cooler, but that's what we do.  

But my parents entertain enough that they like to just stock up a mini-fridge and not have to think about it except when it's time to re-stock it.  They only keep it plugged in in the summer.  

You might think about lighting also.  You might want to add lighting for evenings, depending on what they already have.  I prefer more light, lol.  

[gardenmom5]

my sil has a pool.  when they bought their house - she got life-guard certified because I think it lowered their insurance rates for her to have it.  (while she passed, the teachers basically said - don't take this cert and try to get employed anywhere as a lifeguard.) 

her's is surrounded by a 6'? see-through wrought iron fence with a keyed padlock on a self-closing gate.  the gate is the only way to the pool.  the key is kept elsewhere if adults aren't in the pool.  kids are not allowed in the pool without a competent adult. period.  doesn't matter how good a swimmer they are.  competent swimmer teens - adults have to be home, and must have a buddy.

she never did formal swimming lessons with her kids- but they all got very competent. her husband would spend a lot of evenings with them in the pool. it was great for his relationship with their kids.  they'd also do a lot of games where they were retrieving stuff off the bottom.

[Lecka]

Also.... where do you want your kids to actually take off their swimsuits?  Where do you want them to actually hang their swimsuits to dry?  Or do you want them taken to the laundry?  What do you want your routine to be?  

I want my kids to hang towels over the back deck, and I want them to hang swimsuits in the shower.  It is two different places, and I don't mind if they hang towels in the bathroom, but it's harder for them to make that work because there's not a good place that's easy for them.  Over the deck is easy for them.  

So I think -- if your kids could change out of swimsuits in your tiled room, that would be the easiest thing (for my kids) to have their swimsuits left there.  

It is a huge pet peeve for me to find a wet, balled-up swimsuit laying on the bathroom floor or on a bedroom floor, or random other places, so I want it to be easy for them.  

 

[happi duck]

Hiring a lifeguard as needed sounds like a great idea.

When I was a kid a neighbor had a pool.  The moms on the block hired a lifeguard/swim instructor and several of us kids had lessons at their pool.  It might help your kids have lessons in their own pool.

[Scarlett]

13 minutes ago, itsheresomewhere said:

Floating alone time is highly unrated.  

My rule is that a phone must be out near the pool.  Seconds matter when something happens.  

Yes I have a phone poolside when I am alone too.  I text via Siri if I want/need to .  🙂

[amyx4]

I would suggest you read a bit about the idea of children using lifejackets vs. not using them.  I'm firmly in the camp of "no lifejackets"

[Chris in VA]

You might want to alarm the surface of the water also. 

[Lecka]

As far as safety with lifevests/no lifevests..... I would make SURE that the younger kids know exactly where they can touch.  Then they won't be used to going where they can't touch.  

I have conniptions when my poor swimmer kids accidentally float on a pool toy, where they can't touch.  It just bothers me so much.  My good-swimming kids know that about me.  

There is a lot of begging for my oldest son to take my younger son into the deep end on a floaty, when we swim at a neighbor's who has a deep end.  

I love the idea of semi-gloss paint!  

 

[Lecka]

I do find there are different rules needed when we swim in a pool with a deep end.  We usually don't -- we usually swim where there is a huge pool or section of a pool that is 3 feet or 4 feet, or where there are separate pools and we stay in the shallow pool.

When we do swim in pools that are smaller and have a desirable deep end, my kids are not used to it.

I have had to make all of them stay in the shallow end except for limited times (when they can go in the deep end), because my one kid who doesn't swim as well will be so sad if he is stuck all alone in the shallow end.  Then my other kids will beg to take him on a floaty.  Etc.  

If you want to allow your kids in lifejackets to be pulled into the deep end by older kids -- I think this is fine, but you may want rules about asking you first, or only 1 little kid at a time, or you also have to be near the deep end, etc, if you end up in that kind of situation.  

If we did it more often, I'm sure my kids would adapt quickly, and probably the deep end would not seem so desirable, either.  

[Caia]

I would get the 3 year old in Infant Swim Resource (ISR) or something similar. www.infantswim.com. I believe they take kids up to six years old. 

[MeaganS]

4 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

In my parents pool (which is only 4 ft deep and probably 15ft or 20ft diameter around) if all 3 of my kids are IN the pool, there is usually at least one adult in the pool and another outside the pool.  But the reason for being in the pool is that DS6 in particular can't touch bottom, so I want at least one person within arms reach of the kid who can't touch bottom at all times.  The girls can touch bottom and do as much walking around the pool as they do "swimming"    And for me, I just feel like if there's an adult already in the water, he/she is closer.  Especially with a deep end, I would want an adult as close as possible.

Though the OP's description leads me to think this might be an in-ground rather than above ground?  If that's the case, being out on the pool deck vs in the water, is probably about the same in terms of speed reaching a kid.  My parents pool is above ground and although they have a deck built above so there's no climbing up a ladder, but an in-ground where the entire thing is totally accessible from all sidse probably provides the same speed of access.  

 

Yes, it's an in-ground pool, sort of peanut shaped with the shallow end being a larger end of the peanut. It has pavement on all side. The shallow end has a rope we can put across to separate it from the deep end, similar to lane dividers in public pools. I imagine I'd probably be safe to stay out if I wanted because I could jump in from anywhere.

Edited January 17, 2019 by MeaganS

[zimom]

When we built our home with a pool we only had one non-swimmer but had her swimming as soon as possible.  She was 2 when we were building the house.  I even made sure the kids could swim from one side to the other fully clothed in case they fell in accidentally.   My rule was always one adult watching each non-swimmer unless they were in a life jacket and then I may relax the rule a little bit.  Living on a large lake, a child was just as likely to end up down by the lake as our pool so the main thing we did was to make sure the doors to our pool were secure.  

Edited January 17, 2019 by ZiMom

[Scarlett]

10 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

I’d be so miserable with this rule, even as a teen.  Swimming alone was my decompression time away from school and family.  It STILL is.  Am I missing some statistic on a bunch of able bodied swimmers drowning?

 

Trying to figure out why even an adult lap swimming for exercise in the AM needs someone babysitting them.  Seriously.  Where’s the data on this being exceedingly risky swimming behavior?

 

 

Right....I love to swim.  When I was pregnant I swam laps every day after work alone.  And I let my teens swim alone after age 15-16 or so.

[Scarlett]

2 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

So, when you posted I started thinking.  And then I googled "how likely is an adult able bodied swimmer to drown in a pool."

I got this

https://www.cnn.com/2013/03/13/health/adolescent-pool-safety/index.html

Which makes sense because when I think of adults drowning, I most often think of drunk 22 yr olds out in the ocean or on a party boat on the lake. 

I suspect its kind of like how car stats can vary once you get down to the nitty gritty.  Once you remove alcohol, texting, and a couple other risks, the actual risk of being in an accident go down quite a bit.

Oh cool.  Thanks for looking that up.

 

[MeaganS]

10 minutes ago, happysmileylady said:

Off topic, I got married at 23.  Dh and I took a cruise for our honeymoon and one of the shore excursions was a "pirate party cruise."  Which we did.  I don't even remember which island this was on, maybe Aruba.  We got on this awesome fakey pirate ship, where of course rum punch was complimentary.  Let me just say that Caribbean rum punch can have a pretty strong effect on a 5'2" 23yr old who didn't drink much, and is out in the sun on an 85 degree day.  The boat dropped anchor in some little beach cove and they pull out the diving board and the rope ladder and DH is like "UM NO....you are SO not jumping in the water!"  Yeah, middle of the day, hot, humid, bunch of 20 something (btw, NO food beyond bags of chips on board) folks, drinking rum punch in Aruba jumping off a boat into the ocean lol.  Recipe for disaster.  I am thinking they had to have at least one or two trained lifeguards, though I don't know lol.  

That's funny. Sort of related, but when dh and I got married I was 20, he was 21. We also went on a cruise for our honeymoon and he had to be my "guardian" because they didn't let people under 21 go by themselves. We both thought that was hilarious.

[Scarlett]

11 minutes ago, MeaganS said:

That's funny. Sort of related, but when dh and I got married I was 20, he was 21. We also went on a cruise for our honeymoon and he had to be my "guardian" because they didn't let people under 21 go by themselves. We both thought that was hilarious.

Reminds me of the liquor stores in AR.  Sign on the door says, 'no one under 21 allowed inside without parent or spouse.'  Makes me laugh every time.

[vonfirmath]

2 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Reminds me of the liquor stores in AR.  Sign on the door says, 'no one under 21 allowed inside without parent or spouse.'  Makes me laugh every time.

 

Does the spouse have to be over 21?

[Scarlett]

7 minutes ago, vonfirmath said:

 

Does the spouse have to be over 21?

Yes.

 

[Momto6inIN]

2 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

I’d be so miserable with this rule, even as a teen.  Swimming alone was my decompression time away from school and family.  It STILL is.  Am I missing some statistic on a bunch of able bodied swimmers drowning?

 

Trying to figure out why even an adult lap swimming for exercise in the AM needs someone babysitting them.  Seriously.  Where’s the data on this being exceedingly risky swimming behavior?

 

OP,  I do agree having life vests is a good idea for weaker swimmers, especially when friends come over.  It’s good to have that option so someone who isn’t safe doesn’t try to get in anyway.

No idea on the stats, but it was part of our lifeguard training from the Red Cross back in the day. Anybody can get a leg cramp or have a heart attack or whatever and with no one around to help you're toast.

I totally understand that some adults/teens may assess the risk and decide it's not likely, and that's fine. No judgment here 🙂But for us it also helped tremendously to convey to the kids that our rules for the pool are about everybody's safety, not just about cramping their fun, and it underlined the seriousness that swimming *can* be risky. Which is not something that kids with a pool who are great swimmers always recognize or acknowledge because they get so used to it as an everyday activity. 

[TechWife]

2 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

No glass!  Forgot about that one but it is wise, such a pain to clean up if one breaks in the pool area.

Not only that, if broken glass gets in the pool it needs to be drained, cleaned and refilled. Well, I’ll qualify that with the fact that this is the reg in the county where I reside for public pools. Our neighborhood pool mgmt. company does it if there is broken glass anywhere on the pool deck because glass in a pool is not easily seen. 

[sassenach]

6 hours ago, amyx4 said:

I would suggest you read a bit about the idea of children using lifejackets vs. not using them.  I'm firmly in the camp of "no lifejackets"

Glad I wasn’t the first to say this! 

OP, check out https://www.infantswim.com/instructor-locator.html to see if you have an instructor in your area. Don’t let the name turn you off, most instructors work with kids of all ages. This is hands down the best approach to swim instruction I’ve ever experienced. It’s worth every penny. 

[wintermom]

One thing that the OP needs to be aware of with the layout of the pool and house in the photo is that it appears the sliding door leads directly to the pool deck. It is much safer to have a locked fence/gate that completely surrounds the pool. Otherwise, that sliding door would need to be locked so that no one exits the house and has access to the pool. 

With a 3 year old, the first thing I would do would be to build a fence between that sliding door and the pool. Most stories I've heard about toddlers drowning or near-drowning are the result of them wandering out of the house and to the pool side when there is no fence between the house and the pool, or the gate is unlocked.

Edited January 18, 2019 by wintermom

[Annie G]

2 hours ago, WendyAndMilo said:

Wow, I can’t imagine having all these rules.  The pool I had growing up was 3/4 the size of an Olympic pool with half of it being 10’ deep. From about age 10, I was allowed to swim alone, eat and drink in the pool, and when I was about 13 it was like a right of passage to try to beat my dad’s record of 36 straight hours in the pool so I swam while everyone was asleep too.  No gates or anything.  The only that ever got me yelled at was running around the pool, especially when I was already wet.  Everything else was A-ok.

Pretty much how I grew up. It’s amazing that I survived childhood. But some of the best memories were made while the adults raising me were making bad decisions. The day of the moon landing my folks and their friends had a party by the pool and drank beer while we took turns looking through the telescope. We kids had a blast swimming in the dark- no lights allowed because it interfered w the telescope. Beer, darkness, marginal swimming skills...

Now we know better, so we do better. 

[Annie G]

3 minutes ago, WendyAndMilo said:

Meh.  I can get behind pool gates, but pretty much everything else is kind of silly if your kid already knows how to swim well enough.  IMO.  Throw tomatoes if ya want.

I was kind of referring to the adults drinking while we swam in the dark. And I had not learned to swim well yet. No way could I follow all the rules most people do.  I’m not judging them- it’s their call and I respect that. My oldest daughter takes her four kids to the beach several times a week without her husband and nobody chastises her- there are plenty of other moms there doing the same thing.  Of course if something happened, I’m sure a lot of people would say she is negligent. 

[Guest Samuel090]

I have a swimming pool and adore having one:) There's nothing like unwinding after the kids are in bed with a glass of wine, and looking up at the stars. Swimming at night in the summer is a real treat. No crowds and cleanliness make it worth the cost. I am just looking for a new compression, the reviews help https://intexpoolpumps.org/polaris-compression-review-280-vs-380-vs-3900/

[mom@shiloh]

We love having a pool. Some of my rules are that people are responsible for watching their own kids. My kids are part fish, so I don't need to monitor closely anymore and I really don't want to monitor other people's children. I've given up on hoping people will remember to bring a towel and I just have a large bin full of old towels nearby. We have some universally available toys, but my kids have a hiding place for things that they don't want other people using and it really frosts my cake when guests go searching and start using my kids' stuff. So, hide that really well.

We have the 'no one swims alone' rule, but it's more relaxed for adults. We do allow our adult kids (over 18 and all excellent swimmers) to swim alone as long as someone is aware that they're out in the pool. When I think about it, it's probably just as likely that they'll be injured by falling and hitting their head on a rock on their way in from the pool as it is that they'd get a cramp or heart attack in the pool. 

 

Edited February 12, 2019 by mom@shiloh