UGH, what do we do?

[DawnM]

Back to the bedroom situation.  One of the bedrooms is directly above our room.  It is a bonus room that was added after the house was built.  My guess is that it started out as large attic space that was finished off.

Anyway, it creaks and kind of booms as people walk around.  Any walking on the floors is loud to us in our room and I can't sleep.

Well, now that we have teens, they stay up much later than I can tolerate with working.  

Older two are only home during their breaks from school, but I need to SLEEP.

They are NOT being loud, it is literally walking across the room that is loud to me.  It isn't their fault at all.  

I seriously don't like our house anymore.  It just isn't fitting our needs like it did when the boys were younger.  But DH wants to wait 3.5 more years, until youngest graduates high school, to sell and more anywhere else, so that he can finish high school where he is and we can move to a less expensive area around us and not have to worry about schools.

I am not sure I can make it that long!

Just a vent mostly I guess.  I am still hoping to convince DH to move this summer into a house that would meet our needs better.

ETA:  and the more I respond to the questions asked, the more I really just want to move.  Let's see if it works out......

Edited November 30, 2018 by DawnM

[Lanny]

Have you mentioned this to the boy who has just begun High School? How would he feel about changing to another High School in another area? Is he happy with the school he is in and with his friends, etc.? It will have the greatest impact on him, if you move now. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Depending on the nature of the creaks, there sre special screws that can eliminate the noise. https://www.popularmechanics.com/home/interior-projects/how-to/g1546/7-ways-to-silence-your-squeaky-floor/

[Guest]

Is it a hard surface flooring? Are the squeaks in the joists beneath the flooring? 

We had many places of squeaks in the floor joists and pulled back the carpet at one point and dh did additional screwing of the underlayment to the joists to eliminate the squeaks. It did work, but obviously pulling back carpet is easier than pulling back hard flooring. 

If it is a hard surface flooring, I would put down an area rug, though if the squeaks are at the joist, it won’t help that problem; it will just cusion the overall walking-about noisiness. 

Noise reduction was THE reason dh would not agree to hardwood floors throughout the entire house. He was fine with that for the main floor, but not upstairs because it is so loud down below. I don’t like carpeting at all, but I gotta say he is right about that. 

[Another Lynn]

Would a fan or other noise machine/app mask the sound enough for you to sleep?

[Pawz4me]

3 minutes ago, Another Lynn said:

Would a fan or other noise machine/app mask the sound enough for you to sleep?

Ditto.

DS20''s bedroom is above ours. His bed frame is very squeaky, and he's a restless sleeper. So when he's home the noise was really disturbing my sleep. I started keeping a small fan running near my side of the bed and it helps greatly.

[regentrude]

Can you sleep upstairs?

[DawnM]

55 minutes ago, Another Lynn said:

Would a fan or other noise machine/app mask the sound enough for you to sleep?

 

Nope.  We have a noise machine going already.  

But that isn't the only issue.  you have to walk THROUGH a bedroom to get to the back bedroom/bonus area......and that is a huge issue too.

[DawnM]

38 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Can you sleep upstairs?

 

No 

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, Lanny said:

Have you mentioned this to the boy who has just begun High School? How would he feel about changing to another High School in another area? Is he happy with the school he is in and with his friends, etc.? It will have the greatest impact on him, if you move now. 

 

1. If I continue to work in the district, employees of the district can place their kids anywhere, as long as they are willing to drive them, so technically, he can stay at his current high school even if we move out of the area, as long as I stay in the district.

2. We had not planned to move out of the school zone, just to a different house.

[mommyoffive]

I get that your house isn't fitting your needs any more.  I feel that way about our house.  When we bought it we had 1 kid and no plans for more.  Now we have 5.  Plus I wasn't planning on homeschooling.  Or having dh work from home. 

 

Yes put carpet down. 

Sound machine

Can you wear ear plugs

Why can't you sleep in the bonus room while they are home? 

[DawnM]

I guess I just also feel like we have outgrown this house.  It was great when the kids were much younger.  In fact, when we moved in, we only had 2 kids and they loved sharing a room.  The back room (above our room) was a fun bonus room for them.  We called it the lego room!  It was stuffed with legos and they spent hours in there.

Not any more.  It just isn't working as well.  I have disliked the house for a long time now actually.

[DawnM]

Just now, mommyoffive said:

I get that your house isn't fitting your needs any more.  I feel that way about our house.  When we bought it we had 1 kid and no plans for more.  Now we have 5.  Plus I wasn't planning on homeschooling.  Or having dh work from home. 

 

Yes put carpet down. 

Sound machine

Can you wear ear plugs

Why can't you sleep in the bonus room while they are home? 

 

1. It has carpet

2. The sound machine is on every night

3. Even with ear plugs I can hear things, I am a light sleeper

4. As stated before, you have to walk through another room to get to the back bedroom.  I would essentially be sharing a bedroom with my husband and a child, and we would be sharing a bathroom as well.  And putting a child in our master, where DH's office is, where all our stuff is, and our large master bath.  It won't work.

[mommyoffive]

2 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

1. It has carpet

2. The sound machine is on every night

3. Even with ear plugs I can hear things, I am a light sleeper

4. As stated before, you have to walk through another room to get to the back bedroom.  I would essentially be sharing a bedroom with my husband and a child, and we would be sharing a bathroom as well.  And putting a child in our master, where DH's office is, where all our stuff is, and our large master bath.  It won't work.

 

Yeah I got nothing then. 

You don't have a basement right?  One of the kids is sleeping in that room right? 

Can you move them to the basement?  Can you have them not go into that room after your bedtime? 

Edited November 30, 2018 by mommyoffive

[Scarlett]

2 hours ago, DawnM said:

Back to the bedroom situation.  One of the bedrooms is directly above our room.  It is a bonus room that was added after the house was built.  My guess is that it started out as large attic space that was finished off.

Anyway, it creaks.  Any walking on the floors is loud to us in our room and I can't sleep.

Well, now that we have teens, they stay up much later than I can tolerate with working.  

Older two are only home during their breaks from school, but I need to SLEEP.

They are NOT being loud, it is literally walking across the room that is loud to me.  It isn't their fault at all.  

I seriously don't like our house anymore.  It just isn't fitting our needs like it did when the boys were younger.  But DH wants to wait 3.5 more years, until youngest graduates high school, to sell and more anywhere else, so that he can finish high school where he is and we can move to a less expensive area around us and not have to worry about schools.

I am not sure I can make it that long!

Just a vent mostly I guess.  I am still hoping to convince DH to move this summer into a house that would meet our needs better.

Although I sympathize with the problem of teens making noise just by their existence, I do believe it would be foolish to move when the BIG move is only 3 1/2 years away.  Moving is expensive. 

[Pawz4me]

38 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

Nope.  We have a noise machine going already.  

But that isn't the only issue.  you have to walk THROUGH a bedroom to get to the back bedroom/bonus area......and that is a huge issue too.

FWIW -- We have a white noise machine (Dohm). But for the noise coming from the upstairs bedroom I found the fan works much better.

[GailV]

35 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

1. It has carpet

 

Pull back carpet, screw down subfloor with anti-floor-squeak screws -- these are an actual type of screw, we've used them in many rooms of this house.  THEY WORK. Using a screw gun (borrow or rent if necessary) you can zip through the entire room and de-squeak in no time.  In a few years it might start squeaking again, but by then you'll be gone.

 

[TheReader]

For the short term, can whatever teen is sleeping in that back bedroom sleep/bunk somewhere else instead? Since it's a short term thing anyway, him being home? He could still keep his stuff in there during the day and all if needed, but have him bunk with a brother instead at night? 

Also, is the noise waking you up once you are already asleep, or just noise while you are falling asleep keeps you from falling asleep? If the latter, can you let them know your sleep schedule and make a "no entry after x and before y" rule, so they aren't going in the room until you are already asleep?  If the former, is it that the noise is right.above.your.head.?  Would rearranging your bedroom help any? You say your DH's office space is in there too, so I'm picturing a room large enough to "flip" the arrangement; perhaps having your bed out from under their footpath might reduce the sound just enough....? 

And I agree; a fan would be a better help (especially if you have a ceiling fan, or can install one; the noise of the fan coming from the same place as the floor squeak will better help to cover it). 

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, GailV said:

Pull back carpet, screw down subfloor with anti-floor-squeak screws -- these are an actual type of screw, we've used them in many rooms of this house.  THEY WORK. Using a screw gun (borrow or rent if necessary) you can zip through the entire room and de-squeak in no time.  In a few years it might start squeaking again, but by then you'll be gone.

 

 

Well, it isn't just squeaking.   Our house is well built, but it kind of booms.   DH did what you are saying before he laid the hardwood downstairs and he put in extra screws too and you are right, it helped for a while.

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

Although I sympathize with the problem of teens making noise just by their existence, I do believe it would be foolish to move when the BIG move is only 3 1/2 years away.  Moving is expensive. 

 

I don't believe we are having a BIG move anymore.  We have exhausted our possibilities to move West and nothing has worked out.  I think that is one reason I am just over living in this house I haven't liked for at least 8 of the 12 years we have lived there.

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, mommyoffive said:

 

Yeah I got nothing then. 

You don't have a basement right?  One of the kids is sleeping in that room right? 

Can you move them to the basement?  Can you have them not go into that room after your bedtime? 

 

We do have a basement, but it has no windows and is just an office for DH and a rec area and a storage area.  It isn't anything we can  put a bedroom in.  We live in the country a bit too and the basement is attached to the 2 car garage, so we get mice sometimes in our pantry.   No one wants to be down there in the dark all night!  HA!  We haven't seen the mice in a while, but I still wouldn't sleep down there!

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

Noise machine plus earplugs helps me immensely, if can drown out little kid yelling when I’m taking a nap surely the two together should help you?

 

Like, you’re using the two together and the noisemaker is at max white noise drone?

 

Sigh.  I am a very, very light sleeper.  I wish I weren't.  At hotels, I do the earplugs and noise machine, and bathroom fan and still can hear stuff.  

[Scarlett]

11 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

I don't believe we are having a BIG move anymore.  We have exhausted our possibilities to move West and nothing has worked out.  I think that is one reason I am just over living in this house I haven't liked for at least 8 of the 12 years we have lived there.

Oh I missed that.  I thought you were still planning on going west soon.

[Scarlett]

4 hours ago, DawnM said:

Back to the bedroom situation.  One of the bedrooms is directly above our room.  It is a bonus room that was added after the house was built.  My guess is that it started out as large attic space that was finished off.

Anyway, it creaks.  Any walking on the floors is loud to us in our room and I can't sleep.

Well, now that we have teens, they stay up much later than I can tolerate with working.  

Older two are only home during their breaks from school, but I need to SLEEP.

They are NOT being loud, it is literally walking across the room that is loud to me.  It isn't their fault at all.  

I seriously don't like our house anymore.  It just isn't fitting our needs like it did when the boys were younger.  But DH wants to wait 3.5 more years, until youngest graduates high school, to sell and more anywhere else, so that he can finish high school where he is and we can move to a less expensive area around us and not have to worry about schools.

I am not sure I can make it that long!

Just a vent mostly I guess.  I am still hoping to convince DH to move this summer into a house that would meet our needs better.

So I went back and read this more closely. I think the first order of business is to determine what area you want to move to and see if it is feasible for your youngest to remain in his current school if you move now.

[Kanin]

Is it squeaking everywhere, or only in some parts? Maybe you could put furniture over the squeakiest parts (like a dresser, or things that don't need to move, and also re-de-squeak the floors with those screws. Maybe there is some padding you could put under a carpet?

What about adding something on your bedroom ceiling? Maybe there are noise-reducing panels or something that could be attached up there. 

I feel you about being a light sleeper. It's a curse! Since graduating from college, I lived in apartments with neighbors, and.... I had SO MANY issues. So many knocks on the door to quiet down, so many actual calls to the police for actual parties, so much YELLING next door... I get the shivers just thinking about it. 

[SKL]

Can you move upstairs?

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, Arctic Mama said:

I’m so sorry you won’t be moving too, that is such a bummer and I’m sure that just makes any annoyances with this property and area even worse. 

 

Thanks.  I try not to let it get me too worked up.  We literally exhausted every job opening for DH.  One job actually made an offer but they changed the location on him and said, "We want to hire you, but will you go to X city instead of Y city?"  Um, no, we interviewed because you said the job was in Y city.

On a positive note, the job he thought he was losing here, he did "lose" in a way, but he is now working for the Washington D.C. office, but out of our city and can stay here, same company.  We thought they were trying to be nice and give him a temporary band-aid to find a new job, but they said no, they have plenty of work for him to stay on long term.

[DawnM]

1 hour ago, Mainer said:

Is it squeaking everywhere, or only in some parts? Maybe you could put furniture over the squeakiest parts (like a dresser, or things that don't need to move, and also re-de-squeak the floors with those screws. Maybe there is some padding you could put under a carpet?

What about adding something on your bedroom ceiling? Maybe there are noise-reducing panels or something that could be attached up there. 

I feel you about being a light sleeper. It's a curse! Since graduating from college, I lived in apartments with neighbors, and.... I had SO MANY issues. So many knocks on the door to quiet down, so many actual calls to the police for actual parties, so much YELLING next door... I get the shivers just thinking about it. 

 

It is more of a boom, boom, boom and some squeaking.  Not sure even screwing things more would help.  

Adding things to the ceiling would be odd.  It is a huge room, well, huge for me......25x17 or something.....and only 8' ceilings.   And areas that would need a lot of customizing with a hallway, a weird shape in one area, etc.....

I know that to tear up the carpet would require a new carpet to be put down.  And I am still not sure that would fix the problem.

[DawnM]

12 minutes ago, SKL said:

Can you move upstairs?

 

No.  (answered above.)

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, TheReader said:

For the short term, can whatever teen is sleeping in that back bedroom sleep/bunk somewhere else instead? Since it's a short term thing anyway, him being home? He could still keep his stuff in there during the day and all if needed, but have him bunk with a brother instead at night? 

Also, is the noise waking you up once you are already asleep, or just noise while you are falling asleep keeps you from falling asleep? If the latter, can you let them know your sleep schedule and make a "no entry after x and before y" rule, so they aren't going in the room until you are already asleep?  If the former, is it that the noise is right.above.your.head.?  Would rearranging your bedroom help any? You say your DH's office space is in there too, so I'm picturing a room large enough to "flip" the arrangement; perhaps having your bed out from under their footpath might reduce the sound just enough....? 

And I agree; a fan would be a better help (especially if you have a ceiling fan, or can install one; the noise of the fan coming from the same place as the floor squeak will better help to cover it). 

 

Yeah, we can make kids move around all the time, 14 year old had to spend Thanksgiving in the other "office", but it really isn't ideal.  Poor kid  can't have friends spend the night, has very little privacy, etc....mattress on the floor, having to go into another bedroom for the shower, etc....

And restricting.....sure, I can say, "NO movement after 10pm" but that isn't realistic for a teen, never mind bathroom needs.

It is falling asleep, staying asleep, you name it.  

And no, it doesn't matter where my bed is.  It just doesn't.  The entire room booms and creaks.

Sigh.....this has been an issue for a few years, but is a bigger deal now that child #3 is a teen.  When he was younger, went to bed earlier, etc....it wasn't such an issue.

[mommyoffive]

So it is youngest kid who is the room?  Or is it one of the older kids who is only there on breaks? If it is the youngest switch rooms to a different kid. 

can you sleep in a different part of the house when they are home?  A couch in the family room or something? 

[DawnM]

20 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

So it is youngest kid who is the room?  Or is it one of the older kids who is only there on breaks? If it is the youngest switch rooms to a different kid. 

can you sleep in a different part of the house when they are home?  A couch in the family room or something? 

 

It is kind of a big mess right now.  For a long time, middle son had the separated room.  Oldest was in the room that had to be walked through, and youngest was above us, since he went to bed the earliest.

However, oldest is almost 21, has Asperger's and now is quite agitated with youngest walking through his room at 3am to use the bathroom, etc....so we started rethinking the room configurations.  Meanwhile, youngest moved into the single room when middle was away at college, but he comes home for breaks and there is a bit of a possibility he will be home next year to go to a local college (long story, but it has to do with a different school having the program he wants.)

ME sleep in a different part of the house?  I can't even sleep in my room when they are home, much less an open space on a sofa near the active kitchen, etc.....so, no.

Youngest is asking to have a room he can decorate and have his own stuff in, and I get it....he is now old enough to want his own space that doesn't require constant moving around, putting stuff *around* other kids' stuff, etc.....

[TheReader]

1 hour ago, DawnM said:

 

Yeah, we can make kids move around all the time, 14 year old had to spend Thanksgiving in the other "office", but it really isn't ideal.  Poor kid  can't have friends spend the night, has very little privacy, etc....mattress on the floor, having to go into another bedroom for the shower, etc....

And restricting.....sure, I can say, "NO movement after 10pm" but that isn't realistic for a teen, never mind bathroom needs.

It is falling asleep, staying asleep, you name it.  

And no, it doesn't matter where my bed is.  It just doesn't.  The entire room booms and creaks.

Sigh.....this has been an issue for a few years, but is a bigger deal now that child #3 is a teen.  When he was younger, went to bed earlier, etc....it wasn't such an issue.

Ah, I was thinking it was one of the "home on break" kids who was in the room above you, and thinking that therefore he could simply sleep elsewhere while home (bunk with a brother). I'm sorry it's so complicated; I hope you're able to come up with something that works for you until you're able to move. 

[ktgrok]

Would it help to make that back room a sleeping room only, basically a bunk room? So nothing but beds in there, and always dark/quiet? My sorority did that (after the Bundy killings it was decided the girls were safer sleeping in a group). Our "room" had our clothes, stuff, desk, etc. We shared that room, 3 or 4 girls to one room. then there was a massive "sleeping porch" that was wall to wall bunk beds and the lights were always off in there, no talking, no music, etc. 

So you'd still here them walk in to get in bed, but once they were in there, they wouldn't be walking around, just sleeping. 

And they'd watch TV, read, do school work, get dressed, etc etc in the other bedroom. With the beds out you should be able to fit their stuff in there. 

[prairiewindmomma]

If you don't have a large relo pending anymore and ds can stay at the same school due to your work situation....if you can make transportation work, then I'd put the house on the market and move. You've been seriously unhappy with the house for quite some time (you did the kitchen reno and some other work to get the house ready to sell, already, right?) and these things aren't going to resolve. Might as well bite the bullet and be done....especially if you are in a higher end property.

Our local market predicts a downturn next year with the projection that the market is going to start to move into recession, especially as interest rates start to move up. I'd try to go while you can to get top dollar....maybe looking at a March 15 list date for a May-June closing. I'd look and see when peak pricing happens. It's usually April-ish. 

[lmrich]

Go look at houses. You might be surprised in a good way or in not such a good way about what is out there to suit your needs. 

And I don't think your kids are all out in 3 1/2 years; they usually find their way back for a bit, or at least their stuff does!

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

Would it help to make that back room a sleeping room only, basically a bunk room? So nothing but beds in there, and always dark/quiet? My sorority did that (after the Bundy killings it was decided the girls were safer sleeping in a group). Our "room" had our clothes, stuff, desk, etc. We shared that room, 3 or 4 girls to one room. then there was a massive "sleeping porch" that was wall to wall bunk beds and the lights were always off in there, no talking, no music, etc. 

So you'd still here them walk in to get in bed, but once they were in there, they wouldn't be walking around, just sleeping. 

And they'd watch TV, read, do school work, get dressed, etc etc in the other bedroom. With the beds out you should be able to fit their stuff in there. 

 

For our situation, no.  When they were younger, that is pretty much what we did, but one has Asperger's and we even had to get him a single room accommodation at college.  He tried sharing and it did NOT go well.

[DawnM]

DH and I went to dinner and talked and he has agreed to start looking.

With the recession, would you advise maybe renting for a while?  Not sure there are even rentals in our area though.

[DawnM]

7 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

This is still a good time to sell so renting might make a lot of sense, depending on your market.  How do rents and mortgages compare?

 

Just looked.  Significantly more $$ than a mortgage.  Hmmmm......

[DawnM]

1 minute ago, Arctic Mama said:

So a one year lease and maybe a new mortgage as housing prices are cooling off a bit might not be a terrible idea, but you don’t want to rent long term.  Even if the rent is 40% more it’s not forever and it gives but you flexibility to sell a dwelling you don’t like and be more mobile OR just shop for a more suitable property where you are.

 

 From what I know of your situation, there is almost no upside to remaining put in that house, in this market, unless you absolutely cannot handle the monthly increase in shifting home ownership/maintenance and escrow costs to rent.

 

I do NOT want to move twice.  We have way too much stuff and it is way too much of a hassle.  I think it is better to just buy.

[DawnM]

1 minute ago, Arctic Mama said:

I would only do that if you are absolutely sure you’re staying our.  Does that seem likely in terms of a 50 mile radius?

 

Yeah, for several years it looks like.  

[DawnM]

4 minutes ago, Arctic Mama said:

Start shopping, lady.  This just doesn’t seem worth it anymore unless your commute or neighborhood is really amazing or you aren’t upside down on your mortgage?

 

no, we aren't upside down.  I think we owe about 1/4-1/3 of our house value at this point.

[mommyoffive]

17 hours ago, Arctic Mama said:

That’s fantastic!  Let us know if you find any good ones, pictures are always fun 😘

 

Agreed

I hope you find a house that is perfect for you family. 

[DawnM]

We went out for a lovely dinner last night and discussed it.  After DH said he was fully on board, we met with our youngest to tell him and to get his input as to which area/neighborhood he preferred out of the few in our price range.  He told us three neighborhoods and I am relieved.  He wants to live closer to town and so do I, so this will serve a couple of purposes!

I am getting excited AND my youngest is excited, which means he will be more wiling to help purge, clean, and box things up!

I have contacted the realtor to get a handy man/contractor out here to work on some home repairs, and I contacted a friend about having her husband come out and do some yard work/planting/shrub trimming for us!

When I am on it, I am on it! 😂

Not sure I will share pictures......Some have shared generic pics here without MLS numbers and if you use the realtor's pics, they will still be traceable as I was easily able to trace addresses and MLS numbers when I looked.  Maybe pics from my phone that I take once we start looking!

We are going to drive over there today and drive through one of the neighborhoods to get an idea of what we are looking at.  Nothing is for sale right now there, so there isn't anything to actually LOOK at, but it will be fun to drive around.

[mommyoffive]

Awesome update!  You are really on it. 

[DawnM]

8 minutes ago, mommyoffive said:

Awesome update!  You are really on it. 

 

If I really want something, I make it happen!  I used to be like that all the time.....then I got derailed with kids and feel like I have been dying on the vine for years.  I got some of my MoJo back when I went to work 2.5 years ago, but I am slowly finding it again!  

We still can't sell for a few months, need to get things ready, repairs, etc.....but I am getting on it and planning!

[mommyoffive]

22 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

If I really want something, I make it happen!  I used to be like that all the time.....then I got derailed with kids and feel like I have been dying on the vine for years.  I got some of my MoJo back when I went to work 2.5 years ago, but I am slowly finding it again!  

We still can't sell for a few months, need to get things ready, repairs, etc.....but I am getting on it and planning!

 

Awesome.  I think it will make it a lot better living through it when you have an end in site. 

[DawnM]

Ok, we did our first "one hour per weekend" cleaning job and the two large trash cans are full.  I guess that means we are done for this weekend!  

The dining room is now complete and ready to show.  One room down.

PS:  The dining room is where I have been storing my "donate" items.......so I took 2 boxes of stuff out to the car as well to get to the donation center.

Edited December 1, 2018 by DawnM

[school17777]

So exciting for you, Dawn!

[DawnM]

We drove around a bit until it got dark, just to look at the area we are considering.  I wish something over there were actually for sale so I could get the realtor to show me a house or two, but I guess this is the wrong time of year to look for a house.  There was nothing for sale at all online or as we were driving around.