Hoggirl Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 Now that graduation season is right around the corner, I’m curious as to whether or not you have chosen to (or will choose to) send college graduation announcements and your thoughts on them in general. I have friends who are sending them, and I know one mom friend is doing it because her mom wanted her to, since her ds is the first grandchild to graduate from college. That would be the case for us, too, but it’s ugly because ds is not the oldest grandchild and niece flunked out. I tend to view them as “gift-grubbing.” Perhaps it’s just because of my family culture, but high school graduation was the end of the gift line until you got married. Maybe my thinking is wrong, but when I receive an announcement like that, I assume I am expected to send a gift. I’ve asked ds to get some on-campus photos taken, as I want to give one to my in-laws, a cousin, and an aunt and uncle, but they’ll just be the photos, and they’ll be after the fact. He is perfectly fine with my not sending graduation announcements. I’ll post a pic on FB. Lol What does your family do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 We don't do them. We don't do high school announcements, either. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 No, we don't do that with college graduation. A small group of us will gather for a meal after commencement and we'll make it special, but no announcements. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 We aren't doing announcements. We didn't do them for high school graduation, either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 We did high school announcements that were sent to family only. After years of being asked, "When are they going to real school?" this was a "real school" thing they expected and could relate to. We didn't do college grad announcements. It seemed, even when sent to family, that it was a money plea, and it just made me uncomfortable. I do think sending just a photo instead would be lovely. We did do that. There were official photographers at graduation, and while the photos were expensive for the first few months, we literally were sent emails for a whole year with all kinds of different truly great sales on single photos, photo packages, etc. I bought a bunch (more than once) for half price. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 We do not do them, and we don't do high school announcements either. I think it should be up to the adult college graduate to announce his graduation or not - while parents may be proud, it's not their accomplishment to broadcast. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 We're sending 10 to close relatives. It's a memento for them, especially grandparents who won't make it to any celebration. My kids are the youngest on both sides of the family. Oldest graduate, a niece, purchased announcements but never got around to sending them out, setting the tone for an extended-family tradition that's pretty spotty and random according to what individuals got around to doing. Some of the relatives had already decided to come to the ceremony, much to our surprise. Suddenly a group is making hotel reservations, and asking where we're going out to eat together afterwards. I'm way more weirded out by this development than I am by any announcement-or-not question. Heaven knows I certainly feel comfortable sending announcements to that particular crowd -- I assume they expect them. I don't see announcements as a gift grab, possibly because I rarely see anything other than shower announcements as a gift grab. We also have a high school graduation this year, and will send announcements for that. Edited to add that anyone who sends a gift will be mailed a handwritten thank you note by the graduate. That's a bit of etiquette we do not budge on. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 We didn't do them for college or high school, but we really don't have any close family who would care either. No need to announce to my friends since I post on Facebook and they would see the info there. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 We are not; neither are we having a party other than lunch after the ceremony with one set of grandparents. It's all I can do to get my graduate to pick up her cap and gown. The ceremony is LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AWAY, and she doesn't have them. I have reminded her a dozen times, to no avail. She says she's called because I harassed her so much and found that she has until X date, which isn't here yet. I have threatened to disown her if she can't walk because she procrastinated too long on getting her regalia. There are also honor cords you have to request; I give her a .5% chance of actually bothering. I would gladly have a party (and we're having a big bash for my HS graduate) and invite all sorts of people, but she's just not into it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 I have another year before making this decision, but I will probably do the same thing I did for high school, that is print just a few and send them to family, especially those who will want to know but that we don't keep in regular contact with. Our immediate family wanted them too - as keepsakes I suppose. I don't remember if we specifically said that gifts were unnecessary, but no gifts were received based on announcements. My kids only got graduation gifts from close friends and immediate family who would have given them with or without a graduation announcement arriving. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 I don't have a college grad, but no one does it in our circles. We receive a number of high school grad announcements every spring but never receive a college grad announcement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted April 23, 2018 Author Share Posted April 23, 2018 Thanks to al! I feel a bit better now about sticking with my plan. We don’t have much family at all, they all know about it, and if they choose to send a gift to ds, that will be a lovely gesture on their part. And, absolutely they will be receiving hand-written thank you notes! That has been the rule in our house since forever. I feel like the photo as a memento is sufficient, and I don’t want to contribute to any additional issues related to the fact that dear niece should have graduated from college the same year ds graduated from high school. Fil has MUCH frustration with this “failure” on her part (his sentiments, not mine). Interesting point about the graduate being the one to announce. Most of ds’s friends have put pictures up on FB and/or Instagram. I hope ds will do the same as the time gets closer. His is later because of the quarter system calendar. Most of his friends have commencement in three weeks. While it certainly is ds’s accomplishment, we did foot the bill! So, I like to think we played a pretty significant part in it all! He certainly couldn’t have done it without us! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodGrief Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 I just announced on social media. I think there is not the implied expectation for a gift there. I would actually love to send out announcements, but I do think people feel like they have to give the grad something then. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted April 23, 2018 Share Posted April 23, 2018 My husband did, 35 years ago. I didn't because I was married by then. I can't remember if ds did or not. We are about to get high school grad announcements done. IDK if, in 4 years, we will do college ones. I do think there's a bit of an expectation of gifts, but I'm ok with that lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 24, 2018 Share Posted April 24, 2018 I'm not doing mailed announcements. I did a Facebook post and my mom has been telling other family. We have no family nearby and I'm not expecting gifts. I did make a photo announcement as I'm having a party after graduation, just to hand out more like invitations. Ds most likely will not do announcements. He really didn't want to do high school ones, but I insisted he have an announcement and photo so doubting family members could see that he actually got to graduate and would be attending college. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MerryAtHope Posted April 24, 2018 Share Posted April 24, 2018 12 hours ago, GoodGrief1 said: I just announced on social media. I think there is not the implied expectation for a gift there. I would actually love to send out announcements, but I do think people feel like they have to give the grad something then. We will probably announce in our Christmas Letter and include a picture. The fun of announcing without any implied expectation for a gift. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted April 24, 2018 Share Posted April 24, 2018 We did high school announcement and I anticipate doing college announcement too. Being military we have lived all over and are far from our family. So the extended family isn't kept up on a regular basis. We still routinely do a Christmas letter. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted April 29, 2018 Author Share Posted April 29, 2018 Well, received one today! From one of ds’s high school friends. Guess I’ll write a check! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted April 29, 2018 Author Share Posted April 29, 2018 Oops - to clarify. This is someone with whom ds graduated from high school. He’s graduating from college, and we received a college announcement today. I have NO issue with high school graduation announcements! We had friends who have three children, and we received three high school announcements, three college announcements, and two grad school announcements. That’s just too much to me!! And, this is probably really tacky of me, but I’m going to ‘fess up anyway. When you only have one, it starts to feel a little unalanced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted April 29, 2018 Share Posted April 29, 2018 I genuinely don't send them to get gifts. I do want to share our joy in what our kids have done and are heading off to do. I think my kids would have appreciated simple notes of congratulations and encouragement. But I don't think etiquette comes down on either side. I will be sending fewer out next time around though. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted April 29, 2018 Share Posted April 29, 2018 9 hours ago, Hoggirl said: Oops - to clarify. This is someone with whom ds graduated from high school. He’s graduating from college, and we received a college announcement today. I have NO issue with high school graduation announcements! We had friends who have three children, and we received three high school announcements, three college announcements, and two grad school announcements. That’s just too much to me!! And, this is probably really tacky of me, but I’m going to ‘fess up anyway. When you only have one, it starts to feel a little unalanced. Then send warm congratulations, and be done with it. You will be totally within the bounds of Emily Post etiquette doing so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted April 29, 2018 Author Share Posted April 29, 2018 1 hour ago, GailV said: Then send warm congratulations, and be done with it. You will be totally within the bounds of Emily Post etiquette doing so. That’s what dh says as well. It’s my own hang up, I suppose. I can’t get the link to work, but I’m sure you, Emily Post and dh are correct! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted April 30, 2018 Share Posted April 30, 2018 Oldest received a few printed announcements along with the cap and gown order. Part of the package. So she mailed them to grandparents and out of town aunts/uncles with info on the post ceremony lunch at my house. She views it as an announcement and liked the formality of it over just the FB messages she sent. Not a begging for money or other gifts. But just to say "hey, I'm graduating. wahoo" . She figured that since they were part of the pick up with cap/gown she could mail them or recycle them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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