Mimm Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) the main substantiated abuse: Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower, I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with. I'm stunned. Who is going to hold them responsible for the emotional damage they are doing ripping a child away from a loving family? :( I assume that's where this is headed? Unbelievable. ETA: Read that the child is already removed. My God, I'm so sorry. :( You don't deserve this. You know that you don't. :( Edited March 8, 2018 by Mimm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matrips Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I’m so sorry. That is messed up 😢 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I am so sorry, Melissa. What a horrible outcome. Total injustice. I am so sorry Melissa. The "charges" are completely ridiculous. For one, you cannot "require" someone hug someone else. What about your bodily autonomy? Not to mention the implication of having physical contact with a child who may have been trying to gain sexual pleasure in watching you. Hugging him would have been completely inappropriate. I agree completely, Wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I am so sorry Melissa. The "charges" are completely ridiculous. For one, you cannot "require" someone hug someone else. What about your bodily autonomy? Not to mention the implication of having physical contact with a child who may have been trying to gain sexual pleasure in watching you. Hugging him would have been completely inappropriate. I believe this is grounds for a counter-suit sort of action on your part. At the very least, you should take legal means to seek the judgement be nullified with no effect on your own biological family and future employment. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 They are not taking us to court. Taking us to court would allow us to have representation and be able to defend ourselves. Any way for you to demand a hearing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 And talk about letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. No parent is going to be able to be perfectly demonstrative and loving and have no boundaries of their own; people like that don't exist, and if they do I'm afraid of them. The idea that not being perfectly nurturing in every aspect is equivalent to being unkind (not to mention equivalent to abuse!) is insanity. If that is the standard, they'll have neither foster parents nor real parents left that they find suitable to care for children. At the very least you might could go public with your story, in a 60 Minutes sort of way. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 (edited) I'm stunned. Who is going to hold them responsible for the emotional damage they are doing ripping a child away from a loving family? :( I assume that's where this is headed? Unbelievable. ETA: Read that the child is already removed. My God, I'm so sorry. :( You don't deserve this. You know that you don't. :( If I have been following Melissa's story correctly, the third child should have probably actually never been placed in her home care, as it was counterproductive to the siblings' healing. But iirc there was a lot of pressure to do so and M eventually said yes (please correct me if I am mistaken!). So, I think we're talking about a questionable placement to begin with. Edited March 8, 2018 by Seasider 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I am so sorry. And furious for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fralala Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 :mad: :( :grouphug: (speechless but sending strength and love to you and your family) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 Also Melissa, I do know a couple of people in politics in Victoria. I could ask around for who to speak to/most effective way to get heard. I'm so sorry and outraged. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 If I have been following Melissa's story correctly, the third child should have probably actually never been placed in her home care, as it was counterproductive to the siblings' healing. But iirc there was a lot of pressure to do so and M eventually said yes (please correct me if I am mistaken!). So, I think we're talking about a questionable placement to begin with. Correct 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 Also Melissa, I do know a couple of people in politics in Victoria. I could ask around for who to speak to/most effective way to get heard. I'm so sorry and outraged. That would be helpful 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 That would be helpful Okay, I'll make some calls. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 I am so sorry. :( And enraged on your behalf! How dare they? :grouphug: :grouphug: I know you're beyond exhausted, but I hope you can find enough rage within yourself to come out swinging and make this right, because right now it is so, so wrong. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 Okay, I'll make some calls.thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 thank you Pm'd you 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 the main substantiated abuse: Because I couldn't hug him after he was spying on me while I was having a shower, I supposedly made him feel rejected, therefore I caused him long term emotional abuse that he is still having troubles with. Are you f'in kidding me? He violated your privacy in a huge way, so you set up appropriate boundaries, and that is emotional abuse. What? Are you supposed to be robots? If that is emotional abuse, my parents should have been in jail. K's assertion of my "emotional abuse causing PTSD" (because I yelled a couple of times in the span of 20 years) would have me lose my kids. I'm fuming for you. Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 I'm so sorry. That's really insane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 At the very least you might could go public with your story, in a 60 Minutes sort of way. I think that would be difficult due to confidentiality issues around minors although I really think if there's a way this needs to be what happens eventually. There is clearly something wrong because foster organisations can't get enough carers and kids are sleeping in motels and too many people that want to help have been burnt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 I think that would be difficult due to confidentiality issues around minors although I really think if there's a way this needs to be what happens eventually. There is clearly something wrong because foster organisations can't get enough carers and kids are sleeping in motels and too many people that want to help have been burnt. Yes, privacy is an issue for sure, but with some workarounds the story could and should be told. This should never have happened to Melissa, and shouldn't happen to anyone else, either. Also, I'm guessing an investigative reporter could turn up additional stories of coerced placements gone awry and the lack of support the system gives foster families when mismatches become evident. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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