Dance classes and modesty, moves you are uncomfortable with etc

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't love the costumes, but don't see anything suggestive or inappropriate in either of those dances.

 

Well, I have never had a child in dance and have no idea exactly what PPs are referring to but imagined that the first dance might fit their category.  But don't take my word of it.  This just was the first Youtube that came up when I searched YouTube for dance recitals! 

[ktgrok]

I would think something like this on a 5 yr old is just not necessary. And that's the stuff I see. 

[ktgrok]

And both this costume and this pose seem too old/sexual for a small child. Again, common.

[SKL]

The one that bugged me was a friend's 9yo dressed like a Las Vegas dancer, with black feathers, grown-up make-up, black bikini bottoms and a black bra.  The moves included suggestive thrusting.  Because of the costume and make-up, the girl looked older.  Knowing she was 9yo, I didn't find it "sexy," but I still found it inappropriate and the opposite of entertaining.  :/

 

It just seems to me the choreographers should be able to come up with something fun and innocent that still displays the girls' skills.  Or is pelvis thrusting a required dance move in competitions?

 

ETA I'm not gonna link someone else's kid's video, so you'll have to take my word for it.  :P

Edited June 26, 2017 by SKL

[dancingmama]

We have done the dance studio search in three cities, two states now and I can assure you it's all about the studio. Go in and look at the costume book, look at the photos on their website, and view their videos online.m

 

Here is my daughter's award winning hip hop number. There is no sexy in those costumes and the dancing, imho, is quite mild. Girls are 8-18yo. Her studio doesn't particularly work hard to do modest. Do the oldest girls in competition do things that push the limit? Sometimes. But they are also mostly 16-18. However, our rec classes our quite tame.

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I don't love the costumes, but don't see anything suggestive or inappropriate in either of those dances.

 

I don't either. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

egads, that's ugly anyway 

 

 

I would think something like this on a 5 yr old is just not necessary. And that's the stuff I see. 

 

[mom2scouts]

This makes me really appreciate our dance studio. We very rarely have 2 piece costumes and the little girls in our studio always wear tights despite the fact that many people think it's "old fashioned". The older girls want more grown up costumes and choreography, but they're almost adults and the teachers still keep it tasteful. Unfortunately, the tiny bra top/short short costumes worn without tights is really popular at competitions and I hate them. Dancers are going to do flexibility moves, but the judges are probably getting tired of seeing crotches.

 

To SKL, you mentioned make-up and, while it does take time to get used to little girls in lots of makeup, it's really necessary so their features aren't washed out under the stage lights. Just as actors of all ages need stage makeup, so do dancers. 

 

ETA: I remember being at a dance competition and one of the dads left the auditorium and told us the dancing and costumes were so slimy it made him feel like a pervert.

Edited June 26, 2017 by mom2scouts

[kroe1]

Deleted. Not my monkey.

Edited June 27, 2017 by Minniewannabe

[Mergath]

It's been a few years since I came across any of this stuff. And honestly, I'm not sure how to search youtube for the kinds of videos I came across without the search terms accidentally triggering an FBI investigation. :unsure:  Intentionally searching for videos of little kids dancing in a suggestive manner seems like a really bad idea.

[Ausmumof3]

We have done the dance studio search in three cities, two states now and I can assure you it's all about the studio. Go in and look at the costume book, look at the photos on their website, and view their videos online.m

 

Here is my daughter's award winning hip hop number. There is no sexy in those costumes and the dancing, imho, is quite mild. Girls are 8-18yo. Her studio doesn't particularly work hard to do modest. Do the oldest girls in competition do things that push the limit? Sometimes. But they are also mostly 16-18. However, our rec classes our quite tame.

 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3rAUYNbhwKI

Talented strong group of girls... That is great...

[Bluegoat]

I don't love the costumes, but don't see anything suggestive or inappropriate in either of those dances.

 

Well, I only watched the first one, but it was pretty much all the same kind of thing you see Taylor Swift of Katy Perry do when they are trying to look sexy.

 

ETA - and the costumes look like burlesque dancers.

Edited June 26, 2017 by Bluegoat

[Bluegoat]

This makes me really appreciate our dance studio. We very rarely have 2 piece costumes and the little girls in our studio always wear tights despite the fact that many people think it's "old fashioned". The older girls want more grown up costumes and choreography, but they're almost adults and the teachers still keep it tasteful. Unfortunately, the tiny bra top/short short costumes worn without tights is really popular at competitions and I hate them. Dancers are going to do flexibility moves, but the judges are probably getting tired of seeing crotches.

 

To SKL, you mentioned make-up and, while it does take time to get used to little girls in lots of makeup, it's really necessary so their features aren't washed out under the stage lights. Just as actors of all ages need stage makeup, so do dancers. 

 

ETA: I remember being at a dance competition and one of the dads left the auditorium and told us the dancing and costumes were so slimy it made him feel like a pervert.

 

You know - I just am not so sure about this.  In our studio, yes, the older girls wear make-up in a show, in certain roles and dances.  THough often not in things like hip-hop.  It doesn't look nearly so heavy, though - I mean, if you are talking to someone it is clearly stage make-up, but as an audience member, not so much.

 

Most of the younger girls, under about the 10 to 12 range, wear no or very light make-up.

 

It looks fine.  They look like cute little girls (and a few boys) dancing.  Which is what they are.

[SKL]

I've seen make-up done to make kids look older, younger, and just more alive.  I don't mind a little older looking, but when the combination of costume, moves, and makeup suggest a stripper, it's too much.

 

And like most, I don't mind it if the girl is an older teen who chooses a more trendy costume (assuming basic coverage & proper fit).  I mean they all have to grow up; their bodies are those of women and my mind can adjust to the idea of flirtatious moves etc. on a grown-up body.  Personally I'd rather die than do that on stage, but that's a personal preference.  :P

[kroe1]

It's been a few years since I came across any of this stuff. And honestly, I'm not sure how to search youtube for the kinds of videos I came across without the search terms accidentally triggering an FBI investigation. :unsure: Intentionally searching for videos of little kids dancing in a suggestive manner seems like a really bad idea.

Another poster asked for examples. No one has to look.

[Tangerine]

I feel like I am not going to express this very eloquently, but I'm going to attempt.

 

Shirley Temple used to wear dresses that just barely covered her bum.  Pippi Longstocking basically wore garters and underpants and a shirt.  They were just not remotely sexually provocative, because well, little girls aren't.  Little legs aren't.  Little bellies aren't.  But then a line gets crossed for me when the kids aren't just uncovered, or have bare parts, but that the costumes seem to TRY to sexualize their little square flat frames.  I find nothing wrong with little folks in 2 piece bathing suits.  Bare bellies, bare legs.  When I was little, prepubescent girls would often just wear bottoms to the beach.  But I do come across bathing suits that seem to try to mimic an adult female shape (basically mimicking the appearance of breasts), and that is where it starts to make me uncomfortable.  I suppose it gets even more complicated for me when those girls DO develop the bodies of women, but are still children in our culture, and are made to appear sexually provocative.  I guess it doesn't get hammered out as simply as "cover up" or "there's nothing wrong here", and it's just a gut feeling that I can't really impose on anyone else as a standard beyond myself and my children.

 

ETA:  I feel like this could be its own topic, and I don't mean to derail.  I can move it.

 

Examples:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c5/c9/5d/c5c95dea1df9b9b2556e1f130983886c.jpg

http://www.umgasmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/gun-pippi.jpg

http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5osirrMlO1qa0ltoo1_1280.png

Edited June 27, 2017 by Tangerine

[sarasue7272]

Well someone made a compilation of the 10 most inappropriate dances on Dance Moms

One is a fan dance with big pink fans and flesh toned bra tops. The first girl appears to have misplaced her costume and is dancing in her regular bra and underwear.

This makes me glad I have boys 🙈🙈🙈

 

Eta: shoot, I didn't mean to imbed so all would have to see that!

Edited June 27, 2017 by sarasue7272

[tdbates78]

I saw a lot of that at my daughters' ballet recital evening. I'm not religious, rarely get worked up or offended, but I have personal issues with 6 and 7 year old girls with faces full of makeup and overly sexual clothing. I don't find it remotely cute. I prefer my little girls to look like sweet little girls. I have friends that post pictures of their 6 year old in those types of costumes and whatever, to each their own, but I say no thank you.

Edited June 27, 2017 by tdbates78

[ktgrok]

I agree with whomever said there is a difference between bare skin and costumes that make them look more adult. That's my issue as well. 

 

And some of the dances....either strippers are dancing like children or children are dancing like strippers. I don't know which, but they are becoming too similar. 

[Paige]

I think hip hop is getting an unfair presentation. My DD takes it and honestly, the hip hop costume are the most conservative of all in every level. The kids wear tennis shoes, baggy pants, jeans and t-shirts, and are much more modest than the ballet or contemporary or really any other type of dance. Maybe our studio is the exception, but I'd sign DD up for hip hop a million times before doing contemporary if modesty were my concern.

 

OP- I think you might like a musical theater class. The dances I've seen from our studio are very fun and the costumes are tame. You may want to check out some other studios if your jazz and hip hop classes are sexual. They aren't all like that. I don't see that in even the teen performances at ours. We go to a mid size studio that does compete, but DD is just there for rec classes.

[Rebel Yell]

Well someone made a compilation of the 10 most inappropriate dances on Dance Moms

https://youtu.be/-QPL2p1be1U

One is a fan dance with big pink fans and flesh toned bra tops. The first girl appears to have misplaced her costume and is dancing in her regular bra and underwear.

This makes me glad I have boys 🙈🙈🙈

Eta: shoot, I didn't mean to imbed so all would have to see that!

Eeeeeewwwww. Aside from anything about costuming (sound off, don't know lyrics, guessing raunchy?) I honestly didn't see any actual DANCING. Acrobatic tricks, movement in unison, but I couldn't pick out any dance steps with names. (And I don't wanna watch it again more closely in case they slipped an accidental dance move in)

 

And for the OP: everything varies widely between studios and sometimes even by teacher at the same studio. Classical ballet is going to have pancake tutus which hide nothing and aren't built for girls with b00ks. But the dancing won't be offensive, even for the more sultry ballets/variations- like Arabian in Nutcracker.

 

Some styles, costumes, and studios might be a little saucy or flirty, but they shouldn't feel dirty. In the video with the Burlesque bustles on the little girls, had they been wearing different dresses doing the same moves it would have had a completely different effect. I once saw a group of 10-12yo girls doing a recital piece to SexyBack. Moves were clean, costumes were modest- looser fitted dresses, mid-thigh length, tan tights, jazz shoes. I just wish the song itself didn't have a few lines in it for that age group, actually any of the minor children. But the routine itself was fine.

 

I hope you find good training that you're comfortable with.

[lovinmyboys]

I feel like I am not going to express this very eloquently, but I'm going to attempt.

 

Shirley Temple used to wear dresses that just barely covered her bum. Pippi Longstocking basically wore garters and underpants and a shirt. They were just not remotely sexually provocative, because well, little girls aren't. Little legs aren't. Little bellies aren't. But then a line gets crossed for me when the kids aren't just uncovered, or have bare parts, but that the costumes seem to TRY to sexualize their little square flat frames. I find nothing wrong with little folks in 2 piece bathing suits. Bare bellies, bare legs. When I was little, prepubescent girls would often just wear bottoms to the beach. But I do come across bathing suits that seem to try to mimic an adult female shape (basically mimicking the appearance of breasts), and that is where it starts to make me uncomfortable. I suppose it gets even more complicated for me when those girls DO develop the bodies of women, but are still children in our culture, and are made to appear sexually provocative. I guess it doesn't get hammered out as simply as "cover up" or "there's nothing wrong here", and it's just a gut feeling that I can't really impose on anyone else as a standard beyond myself and my children.

 

ETA: I feel like this could be its own topic, and I don't mean to derail. I can move it.

 

Examples:

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/c5/c9/5d/c5c95dea1df9b9b2556e1f130983886c.jpg

http://www.umgasmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/gun-pippi.jpg

http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5osirrMlO1qa0ltoo1_1280.png

This. I have two 6yr old nieces. One of them runs around outside at the farm without a shirt when it is really hot. I have no problem with that. My other niece is a dancer. I hesitate to say I "have a problem" with her costumes, but to me they are worse than just not wearing a top. It isn't just how much skin is showing. It is the cut, print, and placement of sequins and other bedazzles.

Edited June 27, 2017 by lovinmyboys

[Farrar]

Okay. Thanks, guys. I think I get it now. I've never seen anything like that at a recital.

 

I guess it's about the total package. Like, looking at some of the dance mom top ten worst... I don't find any individual element necessarily "wrong" - a small costume is a small costume and it doesn't bother me per se. Nor do some of the moves. Nor does the music necessarily - I mean, I've always let my kids listen to a lot of pop music and haven't censored it too much... But... it's putting it all together - music about s*x + very skimpy outfits + moves and and allusions that are specifically meant to look sexual. Like, the video where it's the Vegas fans and the bras that are so small they had to blur part of it or the faux 70's trashy look that's clearly meant to reference s*x. You do that and you add in these moves. It's not even the dancing so much that's the worst... it's the little touches like fingers to the lips and stuff that's clearly not about "look at the amazing things I can do with my body via dance" - some of which may happen to also be able to be read as sexual - but rather, it's obviously only about looking suggestive.

[ByGrace3]

Well...this is one of the reasons we vetoed dance. However, I do think it has a lot to do with the studio. In our area there are many studios, and only one that stands out as HORRIBLE to me....as in the little girls are dressed like cheap street walkers. It is horrifying. My girls have been in gymnastics and I have no issue with leotards, older dd is swimming and it took me a .... bit...to get over the cuts to race swimsuits (and I had to buy it several sizes to big to cover "enough." I am incredibly conservative, but I am ok with secular music as long as there is no language or s*x...if the costume and moves are indestinguishable from a stripper...I'm going with a no. And that happens a lot around here. The FB pics my friends post make me incredibly uncomfortable .... The costumes, the moves, the poses...I don't understand the comfort level of parents s*xualizing small children. I also have pretty conservative standards for my own kids as far as bathing suits and we don't do bikinis but I don't have an issue with parents who allow them...but with bathing suits and dance costumes I feel like there is a wide spectrum...two piece bathing suits or two piece costumes don't bother me by definition...it's the specific style and how they are portrayed ...

[ErinE]

I think hip hop is getting an unfair presentation. My DD takes it and honestly, the hip hop costume are the most conservative of all in every level. The kids wear tennis shoes, baggy pants, jeans and t-shirts, and are much more modest than the ballet or contemporary or really any other type of dance. Maybe our studio is the exception, but I'd sign DD up for hip hop a million times before doing contemporary if modesty were my concern.

 

OP- I think you might like a musical theater class. The dances I've seen from our studio are very fun and the costumes are tame. You may want to check out some other studios if your jazz and hip hop classes are sexual. They aren't all like that. I don't see that in even the teen performances at ours. We go to a mid size studio that does compete, but DD is just there for rec classes.

 

I agree and I'm all out of likes. Hip hop can be done without suggestive moves. Watch videos of BYU's dance team. Their hip hop is crisp, fierce, and amazing. Back in my college dancing days, they swept nationals every year because they did something that was really hard: have talented dancers perform good choreography with excellent technique and perfect timing. 

[Bluegoat]

Yeah, the hip hop dancers I see at our studio tend to be wearing a lot of clothes.  Some of the schools seem to think it means dancing like the girls in an old-school rap video, though.  Some of which I'd hesitate to let my kids even watch (or listen to.)

[Amy in NH]

Zombie thread.