AmandaVT Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 My paternal grandmother had one dressy outfit, complete with hat. She is pictured in that dress in every wedding, confirmation, gradutation, etc photo for the grandkids. She always looked nice, didn't have to shop and nobody ever cared. Pretty sure she was buried in that dress too. My grandma had one dressy dress as well. She wore it to her 50th wedding anniversary party and every wedding she attended. She would inform anyone that would listen that she wanted to be buried in the dress. After my cousin's wedding in 2001, I drove her home and helped her get into her nightgown and helped her to bed (she was almost 90 at the time). She sat me down and explained to me in great detail exactly what she wanted to be buried in because her daughters got too upset with her to listen. She passed away a year later and we all made sure she had on her dress, her pearls, and her purse. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I voted other because I misread it and thought MIL was mother of the groom, in which case the dress should coordinate with the bridal party if the bride wishes it. For the grandmother's dress, I think it's fine for her to wear one she already has. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Think at age 90 I would be too superstitious to buy anything new at all. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 (edited) Lalalalalalalalalala.....what? She was supposed to have a NEW dress? Aw, she's already decided she wants to wear the blue one she loves but doesn't get to wear often. ETA if MIL felt strongly about it, I would oblige. But not merely at SIL's urging. Edited June 6, 2017 by Seasider 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 personally - I have an ornery streak and when dealing with a mob being such a 'zilla', would be tempted to take a page out of the book of a mother-of-the bride I heard of. step-mother and mob both had the exact same dress - and stpm refused to get a different one. so - mob said fine, she'd buy a new dress. her daughter thought that very gracious of her. . . . mob wore the dress to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding - and had a brand new unseen dress for the wedding. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Well I voted before I read.....GMIL is different than MIL. GMIL should wear whatever makes her happy. MIL should have a new dress for each child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calm37 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Yes, I misunderstood, too. If it is an issue, what about ordering a bunch from Amazon with the "free returns"? The mother of the bride at my son's wedding ordered in all kinds of stuff to try on at home. Make sure you keep it all straight, though. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Of course! Who cares? Anyone upset by someone rewearing a dress to formal events needs serious psychological therapy and spiritual guidance. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Yes, I misunderstood, too. If it is an issue, what about ordering a bunch from Amazon with the "free returns"? The mother of the bride at my son's wedding ordered in all kinds of stuff to try on at home. Make sure you keep it all straight, though. :) aboslutely keep it straight! i ordered three pairs of shoes in the same basic shade and style - each had a different name for the color.. . . I had to track down a phone number to actually talk to someone to explain I had mixed them up - and sent back the wrong pair under the wrong upc . . . . it took quite awhile to straighten it out. and I never wore the shoes . . . . I ended up with a floor length dress. (fortunately, I'd wanted a knee length dress.) I had a kidney infection and wore long underwear and sheepskin slippers under my dress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Weddings are about people getting married, not about making perfect pictures for Pinterest. If Grandma is still alive at 90 and is able to attend, let her wear what she wants. If it doesn't clash with the bride's colors, even better. If it was worn at a previous wedding, too bad. She's 90. She doesn't need to shop anymore. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Well, I'm not planning to buy a dress, but Dillards has a wondeful selection of breathtaking dresses that would look amazing on MIL. Witness: http://www.dillards.com/p/emma-street-metallic-lace-mock-2-piece-gown/506965387?categoryId=-10041 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Old dress, new hat if she likes hats, or a new brooch, and of course she'll have a new corsage. This! Accessorize it differently, maybe even add a contrasting colored wrap. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I'm having wedding apparel issues myself. This summer, I am MOB, and am having a horrible time finding something suitable for my size and (non)figure. I just ordered something online that I like, but it isn't very dressy, and I usually don't have good luck with online orders. I may even end up wearing what I wore several years ago as MOG. Ugh. I hate shopping when I am this weight. All that to say, if I were the grandma and already had several choices in my closet? You can bet I would choose one of those. One for the wedding, and one for the rehearsal. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 My vote is to not give a rat's patoutie what SIL thinks and let the old dear wear something she already has to the wedding. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Can anyone imagine men complaining that another man wore the same suit twice? 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 She has since passed away, and I imagine all anyone thinks looking at the pictures is "Isn't it wonderful that Grandma J was able to come to my wedding?" Exactly! Neither dh nor I had any grandparents to come to our wedding and our son won't either. In my book, having a grandparent at a wedding is special enough! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 I can't imagine telling someone to get a new dress to wear to the freakin' rehearsal dinner. And especially not someone who a) didn't want to and b) would be worn out by it. And I really can't imagine telling someone to get a new dress...ever. Even if they aren't old and infirm. I *can* imagine saying, "You should wear a dress." That's so no one feels out of place and so on. But really...this is not what the day is about, and it shouldn't be part of the expectation for guests/family. I'm not sure, but I think my MIL wore the same dress to both our wedding and my BIL's. My mom didn't--because she had lost 70 pounds between my wedding and my sister's. Yay Mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 My grandma lived to me 95 . She wore the same pink outfit to every wedding the last10 years and we all looked forward to seeing it! We were thrilled grandma could still get out a bit. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 (edited) Can anyone imagine men complaining that another man wore the same suit twice?Exactly. There was a news anchor (sorry, forget the details) who wore the same sport coat for a solid year. On the news, day after day, wearing the same jacket to prove exactly this point. NOBODY MENTIONED IT. No one noticed or cared. ETA: here is the story I am referring to: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/17/tv-anchor-same-suit-sexism_n_6170900.html Edited June 7, 2017 by Quill 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Well.... just to screw with SIL, can you buy an ALMOST identical dress on the internet, without dragging the poor woman to the mall and send her in that and PROVE to SIL it isn't the same dress and laugh while she melts down???? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Can you guess I'm feeling feisty today? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Well.... just to screw with SIL, can you buy an ALMOST identical dress on the internet, without dragging the poor woman to the mall and send her in that and PROVE to SIL it isn't the same dress and laugh while she melts down???? Honestly, it would be so fun to do that! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in SJ Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 My sister and I got marred in the same year 2 months apart (don't ask, I am still irritated 27 years later.) My mom wore the same neutral dress to both with a green scarf to my sister's wedding & a blue scarf to my wedding to match our colors and no one has ever said one negative thing about it. It didn't make me feel less important, so I say if your MIL has something lovely then she should wear it. If you want to add something special choose something that doesn't require trying on like a brooch, scarf or hat. Also Prince Harry wears the same yellow waistcoat to every wedding he attends that he is not a part of the wedding party. I'd post a pic but I think it is against the rules but you can google. I'd say that's good enough for me :) Amber in SJ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somewhat_sane Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 MIL should seek the opinion of (and submit to the desire of) the bride on this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Neither the bride nor anyone else gets to tell *anyone* (except for the attendants) what to wear. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 I voted other because I misread it and thought MIL was mother of the groom, in which case the dress should coordinate with the bridal party if the bride wishes it. For the grandmother's dress, I think it's fine for her to wear one she already has. No one's dress needs to coordinate with the bridal party, and the bride doesn't get to tell her guests what to wear. Really. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopskipjump Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 When I am that age, I hope to have one lovely "going to a wedding" dress hanging to my closet. It will be what I wear to any shindig worth getting dressed up for. My grandkids/great-grandkids/whoever can just play "where's waldo" with all the various wedding group photographs and search out grandma-in-her-dressing-up-dress. If my kids drag me out shopping simply because some grandkid doesn't want me to show up in the same dress I wore to so-and-so's wedding, I'm not going to be a happy grandma and will insist that Bridezilla herself and her parent-that-I-raised be the ones to take my grumpy self shopping. No need for anyone else to pay that price. :D If they can't be bothered to take me shopping, then they won't be bothered to see me in my same dress. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theelfqueen Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Crap, I'm like half her age and I have a go-to dress for events. I've worn it to several weddings and a few other things. I will buy a new dress for DS's wedding in the Spring, I PROMISE. Grandma can wear whatever she wants. But a change in accessories isn't a terrible idea. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 She's 90 years old. I wouldn't have her get a new dress unless she actually wants one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egao_gakari Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Speaking as a recently-married person, I would never have thought to feel unspecial about other people's clothing choices. I can't imagine my grandma bought a new dress (she's 85 or so), she's a child of the Depression and doesn't believe in buying new things ever. Mom and MIL both bought new dresses, but I would have been fine if they hadn't. It was fun for them to do so. If Grandma wants a new dress, then maybe take her. If she doesn't mention it, I second what everybody else is saying--new hat, corsage, done. Nobody looks at Grandma in the wedding photos anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Niece should be happy she came, regardless of whether the dress she is in is one MIL has worn before or not. Niece should appreciate and respect the woman's age and how hard it would be to go shopping at this point. If she doesn't then too bad. Her wedding is important but it isn't the be all and end all of everyone's lives. I put other, though, because if it would be a sweet thing for either one for MIL to get a new broach or hat or shoes that are nice but more comfortable then I could see putting in the effort for that. But an entirely new dress for a 90 year old woman that has no energy and doesn't care and has a perfectly good dress to wear? Nope. Waste of time, effort, money and adds stress to a woman who shouldn't have to deal with trivialities like new dresses for weddings. Its nice you would question it, Quill. Some would feel obligated and drag their poor 90 year old MIL out to go shopping whether she was up to it or not. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.