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  1. Thanks, All. I've enjoyed reading and learning from you all in this thread. As I'm reading all of this I'm thinking...."But these are WOMEN pursuing the relationship with their siblings!.......what will my son do as an adult to maintain his relationship with her (daughter)?........what do grown MEN do in this regard?......maybe I should ask these ladies to tell me about THEIR husband's relationships with siblings who are much older or younger than they.........". It seems men in general are less into sibling relationships than we ladies. I'm guessing my daughter will be the pursuer of their relationship (work to maintain it, stay in contact, etc.). I sure hope they become and stay close.
  2. MIL should seek the opinion of (and submit to the desire of) the bride on this
  3. If there's a >10 year age gap between you and your sibling (and you and that sibling are both adults now), please tell me about your relationship with that sibling. When there’s such an age gap and you spent (relatively speaking) less time at home together than you would have if you both had been close in age, I’m curious what effects this has on the outcome of the future/adult relationship. I’d like to know: What are your and your sibling's thoughts on the quality of your relationship now that you're grown? How often do you see one another? Are you close? (emotionally and distance) How often you speak? How affected you are by his/her presence(or absence) in your life? ​Were you always close/distant? what factors led to this? ​How thankful are you that he/she is in your life? ​Were you both homeschooled (homeschoolers tend to spend more time with siblings)? ​and whatever else you think to share! ​Please add some basic info about how many siblings you had, birth order, ages, etc. for good measure! :-) ​I'm asking because I'm a pregnant (homeschooling) mama who, come September, will have a 12.5 year old son and a newborn daughter; my wheels are on over-drive wondering what such an age gap looks like in all stages of life. Obviously, no two experiences are the same, but I'd like to hear from others about what their relationship ended up looking like into adulthood. [For those of you recognizing the “tone†of this inquiry, I’m the new gal who started this thread this week: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/647143-if-theres-a-big-age-gap-between-your-kids-oldest-has-left-nest/ ] This forum is AWESOME! I wish I'd have known about this years ago. ​Somewhat_sane
  4. Hello, All! I'm new to this forum. I'm a homeschool mama with a curiosity on my mind. A friend of mine, who has been a member of this forum/community for years, suggested that I post this here in hopes that there are some who've "BTDT" and who can advise me. If you have a big age gap between your children, please share how the younger coped with his/her older sibling leaving the nest for college/etc. (Though admittedly subjective, I'm going to define "big age gap" as > 10 years.) My husband and I (my first/only husband, married for 18 years) have one child and another on the way. Our son turned 12 in March, and our baby girl is due in September. They will be 12.5 years apart. We're all so excited! Today my husband and I agreed on her name and we told our son it was the one he'd suggested. He is SO excited that he has named her; and I think it's tripled his eagerness to meet her. This may be a "DUH" moment...but it just has dawned on me recently what a shock/negative thing it will be for baby girl when big brother leaves the nest! My brother, sister and I were all born within 5 years so I have no experience with this; my husband's brother is 3 years older than him so he doesn't either. I'm thinking that my son's leaving home will be incredibly hard on her. Since we homeschool, they will be together all day, most days. She will be with him for more hours than she's with her own dad! When he's 18 (and leaving home), she'll only be 5.5 ! I know it'll rip his heart out too, but I'm thinking it could cause some serious emotional trauma for her at that young age. Can any of you who've BTDT share? I want to hear from those of you who have had this situation, who will have this issue, and/or who may have been just such a sibling (whether the older or left-behind younger) in a family with a big age gap. I know there are those who have big gaps between your oldest and youngest and yet have other siblings in between. I'm sure that having siblings in between help to ameliorate this oldest kid's departure for the littlest; I'd love to hear from these families too. I'm mostly curious about when it's JUST those two kids and there is no kid(s) in the middle to make the leaving easier. Please share your experiences, thoughts, advice, perspective. After all, this 40 year-old mother-to-be needs something else to worry her (actually I'm enjoying a healthy pregnancy :-). It may go without saying, but .....if you do share, will you please add the details (ages of kids, family dynamic, background)? ​Somewhat_sane (I wanted my username to be a disclaimer of sorts..LOL!)
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