Hello, All! I'm new to this forum. I'm a homeschool mama with a curiosity on my mind. A friend of mine, who has been a member of this forum/community for years, suggested that I post this here in hopes that there are some who've "BTDT" and who can advise me.
If you have a big age gap between your children, please share how the younger coped with his/her older sibling leaving the nest for college/etc. (Though admittedly subjective, I'm going to define "big age gap" as > 10 years.)
My husband and I (my first/only husband, married for 18 years) have one child and another on the way. Our son turned 12 in March, and our baby girl is due in September. They will be 12.5 years apart. We're all so excited! Today my husband and I agreed on her name and we told our son it was the one he'd suggested. He is SO excited that he has named her; and I think it's tripled his eagerness to meet her.
This may be a "DUH" moment...but it just has dawned on me recently what a shock/negative thing it will be for baby girl when big brother leaves the nest! My brother, sister and I were all born within 5 years so I have no experience with this; my husband's brother is 3 years older than him so he doesn't either. I'm thinking that my son's leaving home will be incredibly hard on her. Since we homeschool, they will be together all day, most days. She will be with him for more hours than she's with her own dad! When he's 18 (and leaving home), she'll only be 5.5 ! I know it'll rip his heart out too, but I'm thinking it could cause some serious emotional trauma for her at that young age.
Can any of you who've BTDT share? I want to hear from those of you who have had this situation, who will have this issue, and/or who may have been just such a sibling (whether the older or left-behind younger) in a family with a big age gap.
I know there are those who have big gaps between your oldest and youngest and yet have other siblings in between. I'm sure that having siblings in between help to ameliorate this oldest kid's departure for the littlest; I'd love to hear from these families too.
I'm mostly curious about when it's JUST those two kids and there is no kid(s) in the middle to make the leaving easier.
Please share your experiences, thoughts, advice, perspective. After all, this 40 year-old mother-to-be needs something else to worry her (actually I'm enjoying a healthy pregnancy :-).
It may go without saying, but .....if you do share, will you please add the details (ages of kids, family dynamic, background)?
(I wanted my username to be a disclaimer of sorts..LOL!)