TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) Minor rant in the scheme of things, but boy, would I love it to be different. I'm so tired of being driven out of church week after week because women and men (equal opportunity offenders) have to douse themselves in half a gallon of perfume/aftershave before they show up at church. (I take antihistamines, so I can't do any more than that, other than get an oxygen mask). Recently, I have taken to showing up after the music, because once everyone is sitting and there isn't a lot of moving around, allowing the stench to waft down the aisles, I can usually tolerate it. But really, please, get a clue. If anyone can smell you coming from 100 paces, or knows before entering that you are in the room, you are wearing too darn much. Scent is intended for your spouse and you, not your 300 closest acquaintances! I wish people would be more sensitive to this. What about asthma sufferers? This is a trigger. One can't do much about mold in the air or tree allergens, but by golly, a person doesn't have to pour on fake scent to go out in the world. It is really awful for some other people, so when you do it, you may be driving out asthmatics, or some other sensitive people, Just FYI. Just once, I'd like to be able to go for the whole service. It has happened a very few times, when the dozen or so major offenders aren't present. I also can't do anything involving enclosed spaces, so that cuts out a lot of stuff. JAWM Edited October 9, 2016 by TranquilMind 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I'm sorry church is difficult for you! It shouldn't be that way. I enjoyed being part of Community Bible Study which requested no perfume at meetings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 You have my sympathies. I've also left services before because of perfume. I asked my fellow choir members to please not wear anything. They usually remember. There's just no way to sing when you can't breathe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 I'm sorry church is difficult for you! It shouldn't be that way. I enjoyed being part of Community Bible Study which requested no perfume at meetings. Wow! I sure wish somebody were doing that around here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 You have my sympathies. I've also left services before because of perfume. I asked my fellow choir members to please not wear anything. They usually remember. There's just no way to sing when you can't breathe. This is true. I think soap already smells good, and usually isn't that awful sickly sweet smell. I don't really understand it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) Same here as well as my mom who had copd. It may help if you talk to the pastor/priest/father and see if he will let a notice be put in the church bulletin requesting folks tone down or forgo scents due to major allergies and sensitivities among the congregants. Same as with cell phone and talking etiquette, some people just have to be educated on how to act in public. Sorry, forgot the JAWM heading. Yes, I agree, it's horrible and sorry you have to deal with that. I hate scented anything and mad now that fresh step cat litter new and improved it and put in febreze. :svengo: Edited October 9, 2016 by Robin M 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 This is true. I think soap already smells good, and usually isn't that awful sickly sweet smell. I don't really understand it. It's not just perfume either. Hand lotion can be just as bad!!! And they put it on while you're sitting right there. grrrrr. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I'm with you. Most of my family becomes sick when inundated with smells. However... the people who are most offensive in that way are generally the least aware. People stop smelling it on themselves, so they use more. And then more, and more. They don't realize that their scent is strong to others, because they are so used to it. So general announcements usually go over peoples' heads. But it's hard to have a one-on-one conversation with someone to tell them they are over-scented. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upward Journey Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Same here as well as my mom who had copd. It may help if you talk to the pastor/priest/father and see if he will let a notice be put in the church bulletin requesting folks tone down or forgo scents due to major allergies and sensitivities among the congregants. Same as with cell phone and talking etiquette, some people just have to be educated on how to act in public. Sorry, forgot the JAWM heading. Yes, I agree, it's horrible and sorry you have to deal with that. I hate scented anything and mad now that fresh step cat litter new and improved it and put in febreze. :svengo: I'm so sorry. Febreeze is of the devil. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Where do you live? I rarely smell perfume here. Is it a regional thing? I'm thinking of people in the south getting fancied up for church. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 Same here as well as my mom who had copd. It may help if you talk to the pastor/priest/father and see if he will let a notice be put in the church bulletin requesting folks tone down or forgo scents due to major allergies and sensitivities among the congregants. Same as with cell phone and talking etiquette, some people just have to be educated on how to act in public. Sorry, forgot the JAWM heading. Yes, I agree, it's horrible and sorry you have to deal with that. I hate scented anything and mad now that fresh step cat litter new and improved it and put in febreze. :svengo: I have thought about doing this, but just wasn't sure how well it would go over. Some of the pastor's family know that I leave a lot and why. No one has done anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) Where do you live? I rarely smell perfume here. Is it a regional thing? I'm thinking of people in the south getting fancied up for church. nm Edited October 10, 2016 by TranquilMind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 I'm with you. Most of my family becomes sick when inundated with smells. However... the people who are most offensive in that way are generally the least aware. People stop smelling it on themselves, so they use more. And then more, and more. They don't realize that their scent is strong to others, because they are so used to it. So general announcements usually go over peoples' heads. But it's hard to have a one-on-one conversation with someone to tell them they are over-scented. :grouphug: Exactly. So the flagrant offenders walk cluelessly among us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 It's not just perfume either. Hand lotion can be just as bad!!! And they put it on while you're sitting right there. grrrrr. Oh yeah. When I was in the hospital a few years ago, some nurse said it was "just her body wash" when I had to grab the oxygen mask by the bed, and said "I ALWAYS wear my body wash" even though nurses were prohibited from wearing perfume. I could tell when she entered the floor, a hundred yards away. She did stop using it my last few days there, for which I was profoundly grateful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Peregrine Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I had Phantom of the Opera practically ruined by perfume. Makes me so mad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I hear you. We belonged to a small congregation of only 30. (Small country town). Dhgot chemical poisoning at work and developed multiple chemical sensitivity. He was so ill that for 4 years he had to sleep outside on the veranda he still is on a disability pension, unable to work. Instead of the the congregation helping us by not wearing perfume and changing their cleaners they told DH and I that it is the right of members of the congregation to wear whatever and if DH only had more faith he wouldn't be affected by it. We were really shocked by this attitude as we had up until that point really believed in the doctrine of that religion. We no longer follow any Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 I hear you. We belonged to a small congregation of only 30. (Small country town). Dhgot chemical poisoning at work and developed multiple chemical sensitivity. He was so ill that for 4 years he had to sleep outside on the veranda he still is on a disability pension, unable to work. Instead of the the congregation helping us by not wearing perfume and changing their cleaners they told DH and I that it is the right of members of the congregation to wear whatever and if DH only had more faith he wouldn't be affected by it. We were really shocked by this attitude as we had up until that point really believed in the doctrine of that religion. We no longer follow any Wow. I'm sorry that happened. How selfish of the congregation. I'd instead respond (assuming the same beliefs) that of course no one will wear perfume at church anymore, because we are required by the tenets of our faith to consider the interests of others (and of the weaker brother) above our own. And I would simultaneously pray that he be healed. No conflict between the two. He is where he is today, but we can pray that won't always be the case. I'm much better than I was a few years ago, but still have a day now and then when it is just too much over the threshold. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I live in the south and haven't had any problems here with perfumes or aftershave at church. I am really glad of that too since if it doesn't trigger asthma attack in me, it will still trigger a migraine. I am sorry that you are having such a bad experience at church. And Melissa, what a horrible response from your church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherGoose Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 And think of the pregnant women! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I don't understand why people like chemical smells. Once we stayed at my mom's in a room where my much younger step-brother had been sleeping. He was apparently worried about young man funk smell being all up in the room so when he cleaned, he plugged in one of those plug in smell things. In the middle of the night, I had to ransack the room with a flashlight to find it - it was awful. Dh was like, just go to bed, you'll wake up the kids. I was like, how can any of you sleep! I'd see if you can bring it to someone's attention. I doubt you can get everyone to change, but maybe if there's a gentle, "Some congregation members have sensitivities to perfumes and smells because of asthma and allergy issues. If you can limit your use for their comfort, it would be appreciated," in the bulletin or during announcements that might go a long way... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Our parish made a change a few years back, putting all the Eaater lilies outside to accommodate people with allergies. Not everyone was happy that it had to happen, but everyone agreed for the sake of allergic brothers and sisters. It spoke volumes about what the parish is about. It *happened* because 3 people together went to the parish council and asked politely. Believe me, I know you are not just whining. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Aww, I'm sorry, TM. That's awful. Now I feel really terrible. My young daughter has recently been into perfume. She wanted to wear some to church, and I told her, "Only a little bit, because Mary at church is allergic." I'm proud of her, because she decided not to wear any at all, which is what I should have told her to do in the first place. (I don't wear perfume myself because my husband doesn't care for it.) Do you find that you react to people wearing other scented products, like deodorant or lotion? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 I don't understand why people like chemical smells. Once we stayed at my mom's in a room where my much younger step-brother had been sleeping. He was apparently worried about young man funk smell being all up in the room so when he cleaned, he plugged in one of those plug in smell things. In the middle of the night, I had to ransack the room with a flashlight to find it - it was awful. Dh was like, just go to bed, you'll wake up the kids. I was like, how can any of you sleep! I'd see if you can bring it to someone's attention. I doubt you can get everyone to change, but maybe if there's a gentle, "Some congregation members have sensitivities to perfumes and smells because of asthma and allergy issues. If you can limit your use for their comfort, it would be appreciated," in the bulletin or during announcements that might go a long way... It's such a big thing there, I really think this will fall on deaf ears. But I might try. I feel like even if I do, everyone will think it was only for me that they were inconvenienced. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) Aww, I'm sorry, TM. That's awful. Now I feel really terrible. My young daughter has recently been into perfume. She wanted to wear some to church, and I told her, "Only a little bit, because Mary at church is allergic." I'm proud of her, because she decided not to wear any at all, which is what I should have told her to do in the first place. (I don't wear perfume myself because my husband doesn't care for it.) Do you find that you react to people wearing other scented products, like deodorant or lotion? No, really it has only been either those stupid plug-in scent things (which will drive me out immediately), or body wash/perfume/aftershave. Although I must say that the Axe period of my son's youth, forced me to have him put on that stinky deodorant only right when we were leaving and I had to drive with windows open. If he wanted to spray himself down, he had to do that after I dropped him off. That Axe stuff is serious. Edited October 9, 2016 by TranquilMind 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I feel like even if I do, everyone will think it was only for me that they were inconvenienced. You have a physical problem you can't help. If they are bothered by accommodating you, that's their problem. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 (edited) You have a physical problem you can't help. If they are bothered by accommodating you, that's their problem. I have this feeling that if it is only me, I shouldn't ask. Because it seems like many of them are in love with their powerful scents. Maybe it isn't only me though. I don't know. Edited October 9, 2016 by TranquilMind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 It's probably not only you. Think of how magazines no longer send out ads with perfume samples because of how many people were bothered. It's not a terribly uncommon issue. Everyone's probably suffering in silence. And especially if you phrase it more as a "try to use less" kind of request. It sounds like you're not bothered by a little - that it's the buildup of everyone in a small space without great ventilation that's really getting at you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I have this feeling that if it is only me, I shouldn't ask. Because it seems like many of them are in love with their powerful scents. Maybe it isn't only me though. I don't know. NOOOO. Not so. They can go without their scents for one morning to prevent someone else from feeling ill. If they're not willing to do that, maybe you should look for another church. Seriously. If anyone else is sensitive, you probably wouldn't know. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Oh yeah been in situations like that. It's so strong! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 This is remarkable. I think, magically, this is the thread we can all agree with :) People shouldn't stink of perfume. If you're clean, your body probably doesn't stink, so you can just skip the perfume altogether. (And whether it's only you or not, you have a right to ask. This is really affecting you! If they care about the well-being of their co-religionists, they should shape up and take a bath.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Scented fabric softener is yucky, too. Some people's clothes just reek of that stuff and I don't know how they can stand it! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UCF612 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Scents don't bother me but my sister is super sensitive and gets migraine headaches from them. I'm always conscious of smells because of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 I feel your pain. It's not just perfumes though. There are a handful of people at my church who use an essential oil that smells like bleach to me. It makes my eyes water and gives me a headache every time. I assume it must smell different to them because no one would intentionally walk around smelling like bleach, would they? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 No, really it has only been either those stupid plug-in scent things (which will drive me out immediately), or body wash/perfume/aftershave. Although I must say that the Axe period of my son's youth, forced me to have him put on that stinky deodorant only right when we were leaving and I had to drive with windows open. If he wanted to spray himself down, he had to do that after I dropped him off. That Axe stuff is serious. Several schools made a rule against wearing Axe. And I feel your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 When I was a girl I was taught that no one more than a foot away should be able to smell you. If they smell you because you need a bath, you're a slob. If they smell you because of your perfume, something is cheap. It might be your perfume. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 I have to hold my breath to walk down the laundry aisle in the store. We don't use fabric softener or any scented detergents because my kids have sensitive skin. It's so overwhelming when I'm around the scented versions now. DH takes our huge quilt to the laundromat near his office when it needs to be washed because it won't fit in our washer. The last time he forgot to bring detergent from home, he used the stuff from the vending machine there. I couldn't sleep with the quilt until it had been aired out for several days. The detergent smell gave me a horrible headache. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs.Wilson Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 I like to buy some of my children's clothes off of eBay. So many people have sent the items with a fresh dryer sheet. It really assaults the senses. I've taken to giving them a bad review for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 I'm sorry you're being stenched out :(. I'd talk to the pastors and let them know it's making you physically ill and that perhaps a ban on fragrance would be a better way to go, if people aren't aware they're the ones needing to moderate. You know I love perfume but I'm very cogent of these sensitivities in others, since I can easily give myself a migraine and nausea if I overdue it or place it wrong. I'm sorry hose around you aren't being as considerate :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 A church I attend sometimes has several rows dedicated to "chemically sensitive," or some such phrase. It's put a little more delicately, but they're reserved with signs which get the point across. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 ugh, every Sunday for me too. It's spray and walk through people, spray and walk through. Worse is having people ( and I love these people) hug me and then I am gagging until I get home and change clothes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 I have a problem with laundry aisle at the grocery too. I don't go to department stores all that frequently but I stay away from the perfume counters at all cost. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittleBears Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Sometimes I wonder if it is an older generation thing? It seems like it's mostly older ladies at church wearing the strong stuff. I sympathize. I get instant migraines from perfume and have often had to switch seats because of it. I remember when I was little my mom (who loves perfume) would get into the care with me with this stuff on and I would throw up every..single..time. Later she realized what was causing it but for a while there I was made miserable. She still wears it but she doesn't around me anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 One of the worst for me is anything from Bath and Body Works! Those stinks are so strong! :eek: :ack2: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 This is remarkable. I think, magically, this is the thread we can all agree with :) People shouldn't stink of perfume. If you're clean, your body probably doesn't stink, so you can just skip the perfume altogether. (And whether it's only you or not, you have a right to ask. This is really affecting you! If they care about the well-being of their co-religionists, they should shape up and take a bath.) Wow. We agree. ;) Even the Pastor's mother says, "Well, I won't hug you because I'm wearing my perfume." They know. I don't go to any event in a smallish/enclosed area or even go forward for prayer ever because of these people. God understands. I did once, and some woman with overpowering scent got really close to me to pray for me - ugh. I also am particularly discerning about who touches me. I don't want just anyone touching me, you know? And they do. But that's another issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 One of the worst for me is anything from Bath and Body Works! Those stinks are so strong! :eek: :ack2: Yes! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 Sometimes I wonder if it is an older generation thing? It seems like it's mostly older ladies at church wearing the strong stuff. I sympathize. I get instant migraines from perfume and have often had to switch seats because of it. I remember when I was little my mom (who loves perfume) would get into the care with me with this stuff on and I would throw up every..single..time. Later she realized what was causing it but for a while there I was made miserable. She still wears it but she doesn't around me anymore. Define "older". I'd say it is mostly women and men in the 30's-40's age group, with an occasional older woman (60+). I rarely see it in teens. Maybe they have more sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 A church I attend sometimes has several rows dedicated to "chemically sensitive," or some such phrase. It's put a little more delicately, but they're reserved with signs which get the point across. That's a good idea! I had to make my own row. Wherever others are, I go as far away as possible. I try to sit in the back at the end so I can get out if necessary. Don't confuse location with interest, which I have seen happen. Someone will say that everyone should move forward. Um, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 10, 2016 Author Share Posted October 10, 2016 I like to buy some of my children's clothes off of eBay. So many people have sent the items with a fresh dryer sheet. It really assaults the senses. I've taken to giving them a bad review for it. Have you ever been in Hollister (the teen clothing store)? Take a gas mask. I don't buy there anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Hey, TM, that's a twofer, I don't want random people touching me either. I'm putting this on my calendar :P (Anybody up for a round of Kumbaya? Hand holding is strictly optional.) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.