fairfarmhand Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 I'm giving thought to what I would want if something were to happen to me. I think that so much of the funeral industry is unnecessary and too expensive. (whispering because big funerals with viewings and such are a HUGE deal here in the South) I don't want to be embalmed. I want a simple biodegradable casket. No vault. No viewing. Small graveside service. So... I wouldn't want my family to be burdened with researching this (for our area) unconventional choice at a difficult time. Where can I get reliable information about this burial choice and have it ready in case there were a need.? (I'm only 36, so hopefully its a long time before I need this) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Google "green burial" and your area. There are a limited number of places so you may have to expand your search. Some will arrange transportation etc. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 Google "green burial" and your area. There are a limited number of places so you may have to expand your search. Some will arrange transportation etc. One thing we've toyed with for years is the idea of making a family cemetery on our property. We've got 40 acres. I'd love to make a pretty place with trees and a fence and some roses. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Green burial Orthodox Jewish burial practices Orthodox Christisn burial practices Google any of those. FYI, for those who are closer to 76 than to 36, if you are dealing with a funeral home tat is telling you that you MUST do one thing or another that is not essentially an immediate and natural burial, tell them you want to know what they do for Orthodox Jews. It cuts right through the sales pitch. Orthodox Christian works well, too, but we are not as well known in the US. There is also a TON of information inthe book A Christian Ending to Our Lives by Mark and Elizabeth Barna, not affiliated with the research group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiche Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 (edited) Mushroom burial suit. Not sure if it is available yet. http://grist.org/living/mushroom-burial-suit-turns-dead-bodies-into-clean-compost/ Edited July 22, 2016 by bibiche 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Muslims also do "natural burials." Basically, the body is washed (either by family members or volunteers), shrouded in either fabric or two sheets, and if possible, put directly in the ground. If not, a simple wooden casket is used. Because embalming is not done, burial is usually done within 24 hours of possible. (I think this also just related to the Middle Eastern climate, and how bodies would likely start to smell quite quickly.) If you have a local mosque or Islamic center, they will often have something on their web page either about "Muslim friendly" funeral homes or services they provide. Some communities have rooms for actually preparing the body. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 tell them you want to know what they do for Orthodox Jews. It cuts right through the sales pitch. Does this work outside the northeast? There aren't many Jewish people in most states. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Yes because there are wnough anywhere and they MEAN IT when they request their burial practices. :0) I know this by experience. :0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 It never occurred to me to research this... I always assumed the 'least fuss' approach was also most environmentally sound, but see that a 'green burial' is much more environmentally appropriate than cremation. It seems our local cemetery offers this. (These plots also have no markers). It's already a rather lovely place, in bushland, with only flat grave markers allowed. It's where we take visitors to see kangaroos - they come out at night to eat the flowers left by visitors, I think. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VaKim Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 This is interesting to me because we were always told that it is illegal to bury someone without a vault and anywhere other than a designated cemetery. Wonder if that was just a bunch of boloney to keep people spending the big bucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 (edited) This is interesting to me because we were always told that it is illegal to bury someone without a vault and anywhere other than a designated cemetery. Wonder if that was just a bunch of boloney to keep people spending the big bucks. So from what I've been reading, the vault is up to the individual cemetary. The concret vault is as much about keeping the grounds looking nice and keeping the ground from sinking in. They can cut grass and keep headstones from toppling over. Cemetary I think has to be surveyed and marked as such. This keeps future developers from unearthing the dead. I am pretty sure about that. My dh surveyd for a bit and the crew hated it when they'd accidentally come upon an old burial ground because it meant more mapping and paper work and the landowner, who often had no clue it was there, was sometimes annoyed because they may not be able to use the property as they'd intended. Edited July 22, 2016 by fairfarmhand 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 My father had a green burial in the UK. It was a designated site, but set up as a meadow that will be gradually planted with trees. No gravestones. Just benches at intervals where visitors can sit. No embalming, closed coffin made of willow. It was lovely, but not particularly cheap. http://m.memorialwoodlands.com 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 I can't answer your question, but wanted to share a link to a PBS documentary with you that I watched many years ago. I found it fascinating! According to comments from a few years ago on this link, it was on Netflix. Worth watching if you can get a hold of it. http://www.pbs.org/pov/afamilyundertaking/ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaybee Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 I just looked this up for my state last week! So there are options. Not sure the best way to go with putting plans in place yet, but it's a start. If I lived on family land, I would definitely consider a family cemetery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 You might start by researching the laws in your state and going from there. The laws will tell you who has to do what, and where you are allowed to end up. Then go from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaelAldrich Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 If you ask for an Orthodox Jewish style burial, it is "natural" in that there is no vault (if allowed in that area), a simple pine casket (or nothing other than a shroud in Israel), but there are a lot of parts you wouldn't need like the purification rituals/prayers, specific clothing the body wears, the guarding of the body from the time of death until burial, etc. So maybe Orthodox Jewish-style? ;) Also, there are Jews in most larger cities and Orthodox Jews in many places. Chabad Lubavitch are everywhere (49 of the 50 US states) and they might be a resource to you. Good luck and may you not need this information for a very long time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 In our county, a lady sued because she wanted to open up a green cemetary and have green funeral services. The law was changed to allow her to do so. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 22, 2016 Author Share Posted July 22, 2016 Does any one know of any worksheets that help you spell out your final wishes? I want something that lists out stuff so I can indicate my preferences. I'm not at the point of prepaying my funeral so I don't want to go to the funeral home. What I want to do is make sure my dh and kids are protected from the family members who would be appalled and judgey at my choices. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 My parents filled out legal paperwork at a lawyers and they filled out a DNR at their doctors and they filled out something called Five Wishes which is what you are looking for online, but I'm not sure how they got it. Go to a senior resources center and they will have this sort of thing. The five wishes was helpful at a personal level but the legal and medical paperwork was how my dad had my back in following his wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Near my Last Will, I have a "Last Wants". I know it isn't legal, but it spells out what I'd like. Some things are "I'd this or that, whichever is cheaper." and, "I will haunt you if you bury me in a casket using nice wood." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 If you ask for an Orthodox Jewish style burial, it is "natural" in that there is no vault (if allowed in that area), a simple pine casket (or nothing other than a shroud in Israel), but there are a lot of parts you wouldn't need like the purification rituals/prayers, specific clothing the body wears, the guarding of the body from the time of death until burial, etc. So maybe Orthodox Jewish-style? ;) Also, there are Jews in most larger cities and Orthodox Jews in many places. Chabad Lubavitch are everywhere (49 of the 50 US states) and they might be a resource to you. Good luck and may you not need this information for a very long time. Thank you! I should have said "Orthodox Jewish-style." And from what has been said in this thread, Muslim- and Orthodox Christian-style would also work. We just had to deal with this for a friend whose mother died in Michigan (not our state) and the funeral director was telling my friend that embalming is required by state law. NO IT ISN"T. Not in any state. And in large part, that is because of the burial practices of the Orthodox Jews and Christians and Muslims... Some states or cemeteries within states still require a vault, but to meet the requirements within Judaism that the body be in contact with the earth, there is no "floor" on the vault--so it is more like a concrete tent than a box, if that makes sense. Anyway, anyone wishing for natural burial, immediate burial (we Orthodox Christians bury on the third day), and so on, it is helpful to know of these practices because they keep you from getting told a bunch of baloney and sold a bill of goods at a very stressful time. THEY don't have to prepare the body for burial. For viewing, probably at least a little, but not makeup and all...just coverage and so on. Orthodox Christians can OPT to have the body prepared by the funeral home, but increasingly, this is being done by parishioners or family members. That book I mentioned upthread tells how to do this. THEY don't have to sell you the casket. A parishioner makes ours; there are some that you can buy ahead and then assemble at need (flap A in slot B) that are natural. Increasingly, I am seeing wicker baskets and so on. Ours are supposed to be biodegradable by their nature. And if I recall correctly, a casket is not technically required...it *does* make it easier to transport the body. But technically, you can be buried just all wrapped up. This is what is being done at a local "green" cemetery. And as for setting aside property...I would be interested to learn about this. Our parish is hoping someday to purchase property where we can have an actual churchyard. It's part of the reminder of our mortality as we go into the church building, and as we leave. But our county is really governed by dictators and they don't let you do a LOT of things with your own land--like pulling out blackberry briars--, so it's unlikely we will ever get a churchyard! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 My friend just had to figure this out for her 40 yo DH. In our state, if you're not embalmed you have to either be buried in a pasture or a vault in the ground. They did have only 48 hours to figure everything out because he wasn't embalmed. There was a small graveside service. They had not pre-planned but at least had discussed having a green burial at some point in the past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 My friend just had to figure this out for her 40 yo DH. In our state, if you're not embalmed you have to either be buried in a pasture or a vault in the ground. They did have only 48 hours to figure everything out because he wasn't embalmed. There was a small graveside service. They had not pre-planned but at least had discussed having a green burial at some point in the past. I'm sorry for your friend's loss--so young!! Refrigeration is a substitute for embalming. This is true in every state. It ticks me off when people under pressure are told things that are just wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 I am donating my body to U of MI medical center/universit. This way new medical personnel can be trained and my family does not have a big expense. They can have a simple memorial service if they like. Dh and mil are doing this as well. My mother is very angry about this. She is a big believer in the huge, expensive funeral thing which is odd because her dad died when she was 16 and the funeral left her mother unable to pay the rent or buy food. Not good times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Does any one know of any worksheets that help you spell out your final wishes?… The Conversation Project - this one you can just download. Five Wishes - you can purchase the form at the website. You can view a sample form here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Tharp Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 My father had a green burial in the UK. It was a designated site, but set up as a meadow that will be gradually planted with trees. No gravestones. Just benches at intervals where visitors can sit. No embalming, closed coffin made of willow. It was lovely, but not particularly cheap. http://m.memorialwoodlands.com Darn it, the photos on that site were so gorgeous, now I want a funeral there! Tough to arrange from Washington, oh well. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Cemetary I think has to be surveyed and marked as such. This keeps future developers from unearthing the dead. In most states, people can be buried on private property, such as a backyard or family land. There may be local, county or state laws that have to be followed (such as the amount of property needed, how/if it needs to be marked, depth of grave, permits and registrations, etc.) and it may or may not be allowed within city limits. Don't rule it out unless you explore the option. Keep in mind, too, that if the property is sold, you do need to disclose the burial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Darn it, the photos on that site were so gorgeous, now I want a funeral there! Tough to arrange from Washington, oh well. Washington has a similar site somewhere in the Cascades. And more coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Refrigeration is a substitute for embalming. This is true in every state. It ticks me off when people under pressure are told things that are just wrong. Yes. My father's funeral took place about ten days after his death. I assume his body was refrigerated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Yes. My father's funeral took place about ten days after his death. I assume his body was refrigerated. It was three weeks for my FIL. Big snowstorm, no cemetery access, Christmas. :0/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 I was thinking about the number of British mystery novels that turn on the exhumation of coffins to find nothing in them or the wrong body. I have been to five funerals and none was open casket. Perhaps embalming is less practised here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 I was thinking about the number of British mystery novels that turn on the exhumation of coffins to find nothing in them or the wrong body. I have been to five funerals and none was open casket. Perhaps embalming is less practised here. It goes back to President Lincoln. He was embalmed and then went on 1600 mile tour. After that, people thought embalming was the cat's meow. Then a fashion, became tradition, became a 'requirement'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 (edited) My dad just died and this is what we were told, as well. We could do the green burial, just not in our choice of cemetery, and they told us New York State law required a vault. This is interesting to me because we were always told that it is illegal to bury someone without a vault and anywhere other than a designated cemetery. Wonder if that was just a bunch of boloney to keep people spending the big bucks. Edited July 23, 2016 by reefgazer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 Listening in, as I want to be able to give some other options to my dad when he is at the point of needing/wanting to talk more specifically about his final wishes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted July 23, 2016 Share Posted July 23, 2016 This still requires cremation, but it's what I want when it's my time. https://urnabios.com/urn/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 24, 2016 Share Posted July 24, 2016 My dad just died and this is what we were told, as well. We could do the green burial, just not in our choice of cemetery, and they told us New York State law required a vault. I'm really sorry for your loss. I just read your other post and could totally relate to the exhaustion of the day. Vaults are like concrete structures to keep the grave from collapsing over time as astute takes its course. However, some have a slab on the bottom and others don't. It's a device to keep the cemetery from looking derelict and to reduce the cost of maintenance. It's not required by some of the newer green cemeteries, but they are often in a more natural setting, and hAbe no gravestones. ((®)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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