Have you added a FB friend to a page they didn't know about?

[HS Mom in NC]

I want to know if adding someone to a closed FB page without their knowledge is something that's commonly done or if it's out of the norm.  I think it's crazy myself.

A homeschool mom from homeschool PE knows I'm a Christian.  We chat about stuff. She added me, without my knowledge,  to a closed FB page for her son who doesn't have many friends.  It's a Young Earth Support Group page.  I'm an OE Christian.  I have never once discussed science, biblical interpretation or  the age of the earth with her or anyone else at that PE group.  I had no idea she was starting the page, so of course, I had never shown any interest in it of the topic around her.

 

Do people do this?  Have you done this?  Has someone done this to you?

What do you think your reaction would be if someone did this to you?

 

 

[cjzimmer1]

I've had it done to me and I've done it to others.  I don't think it's any big deal.  Closed groups often aren't visible so the general public would never even know they are there unless someone invited/added them.  It doesn't bother me in the slightest.  Sometimes I'm like whatever I have no interest in this whatsoever, and I leave the group, other times I'm very thankful because the group is exactly something I want. And if I add someone to a group it because I think they might be interested in the topic, if not no big deal, my feelings aren't hurt if they leave. 

[Guest]

I just leave and click "do not let them add me back" on my way out.

[Butter]

Others have added me.  I do what the pp does if I am not interested.  I have added others to closed groups, but only after they asked me to.

[MerryAtHope]

I've had it happen (quite frequently, actually) and think it's annoying. Send me an invite, don't "add me" so that now I have to "leave."

 

I just leave and click "do not let them add me back" on my way out.

 

Oooh, I'll have to look for this, didn't know you could do that (and I HAVE had people add me back!)

[trulycrabby]

I didnt even know this could be done. I would be pretty darned mad, actually, and would get out of the group and defriend the friend. :mad:

[QueenCat]

I didnt even know this could be done. I would be pretty darned mad, actually, and would get out of the group and defriend the friend. :mad:

 

With groups, you can add friends but you can't invite them (well, I guess you could send them a message about it, but there isn't an "invite" feature). With pages, you can invite friends but you can't add them. Just one of the bizarre ways Facebook works.

[JustEm]

I've had it happen to me but have only done it to other people who have asked me to friend them. I get annoyed when people add me because the people who tend to do itvare also the people who would be offended if vi then immediately left the group. And they would ask me why I did with and sound hurt because I did. So I usually just unfriend them after the second time it happens

[SKL]

I think it's wrong.  I've had people do it to me so they can sell their pyramid marketing stuff.  Makes me mad.

[AndyJoy]

I've been added to MLM stuff before and that is annoying. It's always been acquaintances or friends from far in my past who are not close to me. I'm just another potential customer, not a friend.

 

I have added two very close friends to a couple closed groups I thought they would appreciate, but I immediately PMed them to tell them about it and say feel free to leave if you're not interested. They were happy to stay. I was added by another close friend first.

[zoobie]

I added a friend to a sewing group that had a free coupon, but I messaged her as I did it.

 

I'd just leave the group if I didn't want to be in it. But no one is adding me to YE groups. I might have fun before leaving. Where's that dino with the watermelon pic? :lol:

[HS Mom in NC]

For those who are neutral when it happened to you, were you added to a group that takes a different side than you do on an issue that is known to be very controversial?

[Roadrunner]

I got rid of people on my friend list because they were doing this all the time. I get enough junk in my electronic system, I don't need extra junk.

[AndyJoy]

For those who are neutral when it happened to you, were you added to a group that takes a different side than you do on an issue that is known to be very controversial?

I've not been added to any controversial topic groups, other than "oils can fix everything that ails you" and "eat organic, free-range, non-GMO everything or you're gonna suffer horribly" or "makeup! pretty nails! lose weight with minimal effort!" which are not a fit for me. I just thought, "Wow, I guess that person doesn't know me very well." and moved on.

[Mimm]

No I never have and never would unless I was very sure it was a topic someone I was close to would be interested in. Even then, I can't imagine not saying, "Hey I'm in this group on Facebook about this. I'll add you!"

[Seasider]

Perhaps she thinks they'll convert you to YE thinking by including you. Maybe the desire to evangelize you in this way is what caused her to add you without asking first.

 

I think it's odd to randomly add people to special interest group pages. It's happened to me a couple of times, I just leave the group. If the person who added me wants an explanation, they can specifically ask me about it. I wouldn't add someone to a closed group without asking first.

[Seasider]

OR...

I've noticed many (especially Protestant) Christian home schoolers simply assume that I - and probably every other home schooler - am YE. I think some have been rather shocked to learn that not only do I not hang my salvation on a literal 6-day creation, but that I also believe the main point of the book of Genesis is not how long it took God to create the earth. So, maybe she's operating on an assumption that you would enjoy the group.

[kirstenhill]

I've had it happen, but not for anything that I was completely opposed to.  I do find it annoying, but I am mostly annoyed at FB for making this just about the only option available to get a person into a group.  I was recently added to a group that I was really happy to be a part of (and had no idea it existed until a friend added me), and I would love to just "invite" other friends but I don't want to annoy anyone so I just don't do anything.  The group's settings are such that it would be hard to find with out that direct "add". 

 

 

[Butter]

I've been added to some essential oil groups.  The crazy "essential oils will cure anything" type.  I'd bet they'd say there's an oil to cure my uterine prolapse.  I don't agree with them at all.  I just left, no biggie.  I get a little more annoyed when people add me to their group for selling whatever it is they sell.  If I wanted to buy your bags, oils, books, wraps, nails, whatever I'd ask.  Not interested in your group where you push it.

[73349]

I keep my friend list limited to people who can be trusted not to do things like that. I don't "friend" acquaintances.

[8circles]

I don't think I've done this to anyone. I have been added to a few groups without being asked. I don't understand what the big deal is. Either you want to be there or you don't, and you click on "leave group".

 

I can understand not wanting to be in a group that I disagreed with, but I'd be more irritated with having a friend with such a distasteful opinion, to be honest.

[Guest]

For those who are neutral when it happened to you, were you added to a group that takes a different side than you do on an issue that is known to be very controversial?

 

Doesn't make any difference to me. I disagree with *a lot* and FB already gets on my nerves. 

[Laurie4b]

With groups, you can add friends but you can't invite them (well, I guess you could send them a message about it, but there isn't an "invite" feature). With pages, you can invite friends but you can't add them. Just one of the bizarre ways Facebook works.

 

Exactly. I created a secret group and added friends to it, but also messaged them about it. I let them know they could tell me if they didn't want to be in the group. 

[Guest]

The group I was joined to was 100% in line with my thinking - feminist mamas - but 1. you still ASK first and 2. the mamas are getting on my nerves. They complain about baby-white-feminist stuff. Like their MIL's buying pink babygros.

 

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

Yeah

[annandatje]

Do people do this?  Yes.

 

Have you done this?  No.  I have never set up any fb groups either.

 

Has someone done this to you?  Yes, more than once.

 

What do you think your reaction would be if someone did this to you?  I think this has happened to me about three times.  Reaction was anywhere from nicely surprised to not interested.  If I am not interested, I simply leave group.  No explanation required.  Seldom do I ever get upset about anything on fb, but I have un-followed people who make crude posts.

 

I am still learning the nuances of fb, but I *think* that fb may require secret groups to have members added by group owner.

[KungFuPanda]

My sister has added me to a few groups that didn't interest me. The topic doesn't matter. It's easy enough to leave the group. I don't think she even noticed!

[aggieamy]

 

Do people do this?  Have you done this?  Has someone done this to you?

 

What do you think your reaction would be if someone did this to you?

 

What a timely complaint!  I always worry in these situations because it turns out about 90% of the time I'm that "friend".

 

I JUST did this exact think.  Like within the last three days I created a secret FB group and added four of my IRL friends.  I also added some internet friends but I asked them first if they wanted to be added.  The IRL friends I just threw in there and figured if for some bizarre reason they didn't want to be part of the group they would leave.  I didn't even send them a message explaining it.  I just kind of assumed that if we were all big fans of EATING DONUTS (not the real FB group although I am a fan of eating donuts) then they would like being part of a FB group where all we talk about is EATING DONUTS. 

 

Oops.  

 

Oh well.

 

Likely I've inadvertently done something more offensive than that to them during the course of our friendship.  

[MerryAtHope]

I think it's wrong.  I've had people do it to me so they can sell their pyramid marketing stuff. 

 

Yes.

 

I've been added to MLM stuff before and that is annoying. It's always been acquaintances or friends from far in my past who are not close to me. I'm just another potential customer, not a friend.

 

Exactly. I think "pages" are more appropriate for whatever a person is selling. But if you are going to make a group for your business, then ask me. Or see if I actually liked your page before adding me to your group! Most of the time I just leave, find it slightly annoying that I have to go to the site and do this, but then forget about it, but I have left and had people add me back, and do find that very annoying. Maybe they think they forgot to add me? I don't know! Goofy. 

[Soror]

Yes, I had this happen before.

 

The last time it was to a page that someone added me to in order to win some prize from some MLM. Really pissed me off.

 

Now if it was a real friend and they added me to a page that they thought I would like then I would not be annoyed at all. I think really it is better to ask first though, it is like signing some one up for spam, then I have to waste my time deleting it and leaving the group, much better to send someone a message letting them know about a group or posting it generally on your wall and let me decide if I want to join myself.

[Farrar]

I've had it happen. It's never been for something that was actually against what I think.

 

The first time it happened, I was mildly annoyed. But since I've realized that this is becoming a common acceptable thing on FB. If you're annoyed, I think your annoyance should be at FB, not the friend, because this is basically how FB is forcing it to work. You can't do invites. You likely don't want to publicize the group. So then the method has become to add the people who think would be interested and not be surprised or hurt that you get a certain amount of attrition early on. Yes, people could write an individual message, but that's an awkward in between step technologically speaking. And, as it has become more culturally acceptable to do it, more people aren't really thinking about it as being awkward, they're just doing it.

 

 

[Word Nerd]

I created a private family group and added my family members. It was not much different from creating an email or text group. I wouldn't add friends to a topical group without their requesting to join. I do think it's dumb that Facebook no longer allows you to invite friends to join a group. That was how it worked when I first set up our class reunion group, but you can't do it now.