DawnM Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Why, oh why, do our children insist on learning things the hard way? My 10th grader takes his lunch every day. Occasionally he buys a portion of the lunch, but not all, so he usually has $1-$5 that i make sure he has on hand. Where does he stick that money? Why, inside of his lunch box, of course! I have told him repeatedly to keep a wallet and at least $5 in his backpack at all times for those "just in case" situations. Today, he left his lunchbox in the carpool mom's car and she didn't notice until she got home (19 miles away). He texted that he has no lunch or lunch money. No, I am not going up there. He will have to beg friends or go hungry. MAYBE he will learn? But, sign, I fear he won't. That is all. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 If he doesn't have anything he has to do right after school I would not go, either. Maybe if he knows this really is his responsibility now, he may be able to remember to put the money in something other than his lunch box. Does he normally carry a wallet, though? If he has organization issues trying to keep up with a wallet may be just as challenging as the lunch money. He may need help establishing a routine for what to do, not just verbal suggestions. Like for me, I kept losing my purse so I stopped carrying a purse. That meant, though, that I needed to carry my wallet in my pocket and I would put it down in weird places. I had to establish a routine for where I carried my wallet and what to do with it at the end of the day. I put reminders in my phone so I wouldn't forget. Now I do it automatically but it took time to establish a routine. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 Well, I handed him $5 and a wallet and told him to keep it in his backpack. I think that is enough, but sigh, maybe not. School is over in exactly 2 hours. He will survive. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I remember the first day I let a kid "tough out" forgetting a lunch. I believe it hurt me more than it hurt him. 😄 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Hopefully, he will learn going forward. My kids forget their key all the time. I tell them they need to always keep it with them because plans could change and I might not be the one picking them up, or be home when they get home. Even after being locked out of the house several times, they still have not learned to carry their keys with them all the time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I am lauging, not because it is funny, really, but because DS would totally do this! Yeah, I would let him wing it today. It is being caught unprepared that teaches many a person to be prepared. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 It's a pretty small lesson. Maybe small enough that it won't make a difference. But either way I wouldn't worry about it. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 He'll live. And maaaaybe learn something? Keep they money in your backpack, binder, or shoe, kid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 This is not a problem I would fret about. A 10th grader is fully capable of making his own plan, and keeping to the consequences when the plan goes awry. Small mistakes now = learning opportunities in a healthy setting. I have let my 16yo experience failure in many small matters. Oversleeping, not checking his tire for thorns before putting a new tube in, camping without a liner (or flashlight, mess kit, etc.) These things are opportunities. They're a chance to recover just a little and keep that information in their little minds. I can sympathise with the outcome and listen to him vent, but I sure as heck am not going to take his monkeys and add them into my circus. In 2 years he'll be a legal adult. Darn skippy I'd be relieved he missed lunch now instead of doing something like missing a passport later! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 My dad used to give me 20 bucks a week for lunches for the week. We could either buy lunch or pack our lunch and pocket the 20. Those days I forgot to bring my lunch hurt so much because I hated using that 20 towards lunch. I preferred it to be my weekend spending money. It took me 3 or 4 times to never forget my lunch again. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I felt bad for him for about a second before I realized he was not ten years old, but a 10th grader/sophomore in high school. You would hope he would learn a lesson, but I doubt it. Most 10th graders have more than $5 in there pocket to begin with, so I am sure he won't have any trouble borrowing money from a friend for lunch. Most likely the biggest lesson he'll learn is that most of his friends carry more than $1-$5 around normally and why does he only have that on hand. But maybe he'll realize if he is going to carry more money, he'll need a wallet. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 my kids went to camp this summer and I never saw any email about needing to pack a sack dinner for the drive over. I found out later that they were supposed to have a dinner. Both kids had cash in their bags. When the group stopped and the adults realized several kids had no dinner they offered to get stuff from the gas station store. My daughter took them up on this and got some sandwich/chips thing. My son however declined and opted to eat his snack food for the weekend instead. Again, both had cash....why neither got it to buy their own food baffles the mind?!!?!? Anyway, it is a life lesson. He won't forget again I bet. I know my son used to come home with the cash for events. Last few events he is paying them without me telling. maturity comes....even if way slower than we would like LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 LOL. At my boys' school there is a priest who'll get the boys lunch if they forget it or don't have the money. He probably makes it hard for them to "learn a lesson" but they all love him for it. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 I was thinking today that I wish this school were like the local PS. As a parent you can put $$ in your child's account and they can either use it, or get lunch on credit and the parent gets billed. It isn't like this at the charter school where they cater in lunches. I guess I should be thankful our charter doesn't do what some do, they make you pay a month in advance for every lunch and then even if your child is absent that day, they have to pay. AND, you can't decide that you do indeed want that lunch after the due date, about a week prior to the new month starting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I felt bad for him for about a second before I realized he was not ten years old, but a 10th grader/sophomore in high school. You would hope he would learn a lesson, but I doubt it. Most 10th graders have more than $5 in there pocket to begin with, so I am sure he won't have any trouble borrowing money from a friend for lunch. Most likely the biggest lesson he'll learn is that most of his friends carry more than $1-$5 around normally and why does he only have that on hand. But maybe he'll realize if he is going to carry more money, he'll need a wallet. Yeah, my thought was that I'd consider it a great learning experience for a 10 year old. I guess I'm mean, but I'd be very unlikely to drive money or lunch over for a 10 year old, and I'd never in a million years do so for a teenager. In fact, I wouldn't even have mentioned to him more than once that his lunch box (in high school???) was a dumb place to keep it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Yes, and he learned a valuable lesson today. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Would he be able to borrow for one day? Either way, it is up to him to figure it out. I hope he ate breakfast. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 I think this is an excellent way for him to learn! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 LOL. At my boys' school there is a priest who'll get the boys lunch if they forget it or don't have the money. He probably makes it hard for them to "learn a lesson" but they all love him for it. My students all know about my lunch money drawer. They borrow when they need it. They replace it if they can. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 19, 2015 Author Share Posted October 19, 2015 Yeah, my thought was that I'd consider it a great learning experience for a 10 year old. I guess I'm mean, but I'd be very unlikely to drive money or lunch over for a 10 year old, and I'd never in a million years do so for a teenager. In fact, I wouldn't even have mentioned to him more than once that his lunch box (in high school???) was a dumb place to keep it. Wanted to make sure he didn't say I never told him! As I said before, he likes to buy extras sometimes, so to him, it seemed logical, since he takes his lunch every day. I don't care if he does that, but he needs emergency $$ in his backpack. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree Frog Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 Yeah, my thought was that I'd consider it a great learning experience for a 10 year old. I guess I'm mean, but I'd be very unlikely to drive money or lunch over for a 10 year old, and I'd never in a million years do so for a teenager. In fact, I wouldn't even have mentioned to him more than once that his lunch box (in high school???) was a dumb place to keep it. Since they started ps (ds was about 10 yo), I've given my kids one freebie trip to the school each year. That freebie could be lunch, forgotten homework, or forgotten textbooks. My goal has been to encourage them to think ahead about what they're going to need in the different situations. They rarely forget to take what they need now, but there were times I needed to tell the kids they needed to figure out how to handle not having ____________ because they'd forgotten it. It's a good skill to have. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted October 19, 2015 Share Posted October 19, 2015 He'll bum food off of a friend, I'm sure. He'll be fine. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plateau Mama Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 A couple of weeks ago I dropped my car off for service. As I'm getting the car seat out i noticed that my 13yo's lunchbox was in my car. I don't drive him to school. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 At the schools my kids have attended, if you forget your lunch or you have no money in the account, they either give you a PB&J or cheese sandwich, fruit, and a milk. Not sure if that applies for high school, though. I bet your son did fine and it was a good learning experience for him. :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 A couple of weeks ago I dropped my car off for service. As I'm getting the car seat out i noticed that my 13yo's lunchbox was in my car. I don't drive him to school. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 I am so impressed that someone never screwed this up until 10th grade. I feel your son is quite possibly one of the most responsible people I've ever read about. If he is so cautious and responsible not to forget or misplace lunch for 10 years, he probably will learn a lesson from this. Maybe if I had one more baby it would be normal and not forget lunch or snack two or three times a week every week for 44 weeks every year from kindergarten on. Maybe? Cheer up, OP. Sounds like you have a good one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 He'll bum food off of a friend, I'm sure. He'll be fine. That's what kids at our high school often do. The cafeteria no longer accepts cash payments at the checkout line, and lunch money has to be deposited before 9:30AM to be credited to the account for the day. At the elementary and junior high levels the kids can go into the hole, but typically not at the high school. Kids who don't have money in their lunch accounts often go through the line with a friend, and then pay it back by going through the line together the next day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 I am so impressed that someone never screwed this up until 10th grade. I feel your son is quite possibly one of the most responsible people I've ever read about. If he is so cautious and responsible not to forget or misplace lunch for 10 years, he probably will learn a lesson from this. Maybe if I had one more baby it would be normal and not forget lunch or snack two or three times a week every week for 44 weeks every year from kindergarten on. Maybe? Cheer up, OP. Sounds like you have a good one. Ok, this made me laugh......caveat.....he didn't go to school until 10th grade! :lol: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 He borrowed money from a friend. $7. Yikes. Lunch is expensive. They cater it in. He always takes lunch and I only let him buy one thing per week......so he can buy the Chick Fil A sandwich on that day but take his own chips, fruit, drink, etc......it is never $7. He also told me that they do allow kids to put something on credit if they absolutely need to, so that helps me not worry if it happens again. Anyway, he is taking the $7 to pay back his friend and I finally saw him put the other $5 I gave him in his BACKPACK and not the lunch box. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 He borrowed money from a friend. $7. Yikes. Lunch is expensive. They cater it in. He always takes lunch and I only let him buy one thing per week......so he can buy the Chick Fil A sandwich on that day but take his own chips, fruit, drink, etc......it is never $7. He also told me that they do allow kids to put something on credit if they absolutely need to, so that helps me not worry if it happens again. Anyway, he is taking the $7 to pay back his friend and I finally saw him put the other $5 I gave him in his BACKPACK and not the lunch box. I can see you're frustrated but this was a good thing. In the whole scheme of life this is a small problem, that can have huge payoffs in terms of life lessons. He didn't listen to advice and it created a problem for him. He solved the problem and adjusted his tactics for the next time. Maybe give him money for the next month and let him handle it all himself so it becomes his responsibility and not yours. Don't dole out the money each week or hand him his wallet or tell him where to keep the amount he needs or tell him repeatedly to keep some reserve cash in his backpack. Unless there are developmental reasons that he's not able to handle this level of responsibility, he's of the age to be able to manage this. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 20, 2015 Author Share Posted October 20, 2015 I can see you're frustrated but this was a good thing. In the whole scheme of life this is a small problem, that can have huge payoffs in terms of life lessons. He didn't listen to advice and it created a problem for him. He solved the problem and adjusted his tactics for the next time. Maybe give him money for the next month and let him handle it all himself so it becomes his responsibility and not yours. Don't dole out the money each week or hand him his wallet or tell him where to keep the amount he needs or tell him repeatedly to keep some reserve cash in his backpack. Unless there are developmental reasons that he's not able to handle this level of responsibility, he's of the age to be able to manage this. Yes, I realize this is a small thing. I do give him $5 per week for lunch and I will continue to do that. I was really just venting. This is all new to him, I understand that and am willing to help him for a few months until he gets his feet wet. He is actually a really good kid and gets good grades and is just one of those book smart but not as practical smart types. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted October 20, 2015 Share Posted October 20, 2015 Ok, this made me laugh......caveat.....he didn't go to school until 10th grade! :lol: I feel much better then, lol! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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