Allearia Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Ds13 wants to quit karate. He sometimes likes it, but it is a lot of hard work obviously. It is a 1 1/2 hour class twice a week. He has only been going since April so he has not invested a lot of time in it. However, he has no other sport. It is two blocks away so even my 10 year old can walk there by himself. And it is pretty cheap, the second child in a family is only $35/month, so that is the price for two classes a week every week for him. It fits perfectly into our schedule. It is really great exercise that he wasn't otherwise getting. WWYD? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I would let him quit if he does not like it, but require that he would have to choose another physical activity if he does so. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Yes. Let him quit. Martial arts are not fun for everyone. I would suggest he find an activity to replace it, though, just to get some exercise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I would make him continue unless he had a suggestion for another activity that was reasonable. With my kids, a physical activity/sport is a requirement. I can be somewhat flexible and trade out karate for gymnastics or something, but I'm not going to trade it out for swimming in a town 30min away for twice the money, kwim? If he was very physical riding bikes, skate boarding, or something else like that at home, I might consider letting him quit, but I see value in having an instructor and being coached in something. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Oh, that's a tough one. I let my 10 yo quit karate, but that was after he'd done it for 2 years and I made him wait about 4 months until I let him quit, to be sure he was sure he wanted to quit. At 13 and after half a year, he probably knows himself enough to know that this isn't his thing. Can you get him a membership to the Y or something so he can work out there? Or as the others have said, see if he has comparable suggestions (cost/distance) on how to get in 3 hours of activity each week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Note: After I let my 10 yo quit, the instructor wanted to know why, but only because he said that perhaps he could have done something or changed something that would have made my son want to stay. If I'd have known that, I'd have talked to the instructor as soon as ds10 said he wanted to quit. But since I made him go the extra 4 months and promised him he could quit, I didn't' make him go back no matter what the instructor would have done. So, maybe find out what he doesn't like, tell the instructor, and see if there's anything that can be done. Maybe not, but you could try. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Bunny Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 My boys change from week to week. Today (we are at karate now) DS8 declared moments before getting dressed. I don't know. Mine aren't being very emphatic about quitting, so I'm just ignoring them right now.... Tuning in to see what happens here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I require physical activity. So, I'd let him quit if he had something to replace it. I'd make a list of activities that fit your time, distance and financial constraints and let him choose among the options. Reviewing options may result in choosing karate. My ds quit TKD at age 12,after 3 years. He joined a teen fitness group at our Y for awhile. Then, he took up drums, which is quite physical. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Yes, I would. And we practically live at our taekwondo school (daughter works there, older two in training to become instructors and are going to ATA Fall Nationals next week). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Can you have him complete a level and then opt out? I get it. I quit Aikido as and adult . . . twice. I made it to blue belt . . . twice. The second time my husband was the instructor. I still think it was valuable to go through a few levels. I replaced it with another physical outlet. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I think a martial art knowledge, of a basic level, is a useful thing. It also sounds like this class is very convenient and affordable! I'd be hesitant to let him quit unless he truly hated it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I would let him quit... But if you paid for the semester or year or have to give a one month notice, I'd insist he follows through with that commitment. I'd also insist he needs to have found another physical activity to replace it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I would let him quit if he does not like it, but require that he would have to choose another physical activity if he does so. :iagree: I would tell him he needs to replace that 3 hours of physical activity with something else. A friend of my son's recently decided similarly and he's just been jogging 5 days a week on his own. I would either require they do something like that or choose a nothing physical activity to try. I do require my kids to see things through a payment cycle though. Like if it's paid up for 3 months, we'd see it through those 3 months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Since he isn't hating it, just sometimes not liking it, maybe you could talk to the instructor as mentioned upthread but also like mentioned upthread maybe have him stick it out until Christmas or something then insist he replace it with something else if he is still not liking it. He may have just hit a bit of a slump. DS did that then sprung back full force and loved it. He stuck it out another year, really did well, gained a lot of physical ability he had not had before and made some good friends. Unfortunately, later he ended up being bullied and his favorite instructors left. The one that remained was...not a good fit for kids...or humans. At that point quitting was his best option. We did try to resolve the bullying and instructor issues but to no avail. He at least had good basic skills down when he left, and those have definitely helped in other areas. He also was able to see that just being in a slump isn't always the best reason to quit but there are some things that are worth quitting for for your own state of mind and body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I'm normally for "let him quit", but with martial arts, I'd try to make it work. I'm currently encouraging (to the point of making) one of my kids to continue with martial arts. My gut feeling tells me she should continue. If he "sometimes likes it" I'd work on helping him not quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 since he's only been doing it for a short time, yes. My son took up fencing last winter. At 6 months he was done. I let my kids quit things. I will usually ask for another 30-60 days just to be sure. And let them skip a week during that time. They either want to be there or they don't. I can't force my 13 y/o to do much of anything, especially sports. However, to do fun things, my son does have to exercise. He know has a physical issue requiring PT and exercise, HAHAHA. But we always required exercise to play video games. So he will run/bike/climb stairs to get that time in when he really wants to. Some kids don't do sports. I think you would be better at letting him try new things until he finds a physical activity he really enjoys. Something he can do for fun will be done way more than a weekly required activity. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 My son is very enthusiastic about martial arts, but even he has days when he is tired or feels like playing and I "make" him go to his class - but, the moment he gets on the floor with the instructor and the group, he forgets the reluctance he had and enjoys the class. So, if your son is not really hating martial arts, but does not like to go on a regular basis and maybe just hates the routine, then, I would suggest that you try to make him stick it out for another 6 months to see if he changes his mind. Our studio asks parents to go to them as soon as the child shows a lack of interest or is reluctant to continue so that they can try to see if they can work with the child to fix any issues. Martial arts is a great life skill, which is why I suggested trying to stick it out for a few more months. If you do choose to let him drop out, please sign him up for an alternative activity that would serve as a physical outlet and a rigorous sport right away. Good luck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 I would let him quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Our policy is that dd must do some sort of physical activity at any given time and that she must finish out any term that has been paid for (with exceptions for issues she might have no control over....I did pull her from a dance class mid-term that was a train-wreck and I didn't care about the money at that point). It has never been a problem. Dd (12yo) has walked away from one really big activity and a few that she was less involved with. The less-involved activities were easy. She finished a term then decided she did not want to renew. I would put your situation in the same category. Some were very convenient and affordable so I did wish she had found the love, but I would not make myself do a physical activity I did not like just because it happened to be convenient so I cannot hold dd to that standard. The biggie was a sport she was very involved with for years and leaving was a real lifestyle change for the whole family. We did require that she continue for a pre-determined waiting period. It was not the sort of activity you can stop and rejoin easily. After the waiting period, she still wanted to quit, so she did. We did require that she tell her coaches herself (with follow-up from us). It was really really hard but was the right decision for her. We hold the same rule for a music/art activity. She must be involved in one at any given time. Dd has dabbled in many art activities, coming and going as terms end. I don't think I would just let her up and quit her music activity without a lot more consideration. She has 8 yeas under her belt and is involved with many groups that depend on her participation. It has never come up so I don't know exactly how we would handle it. I only bring that up because I think many people would think martial arts bridge the fitness/art span similarly to dance so you might consider a different approach if that applies to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Most thirteen year olds don't want to go through all of the difficulties of martial art training, but it can do them a lot of good. I've known kids who hated it and wanted to quit, but in the end they were grateful their parents made them do it. I'd ask him to complete a full year before deciding. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 Ds13 wants to quit karate. He sometimes likes it, but it is a lot of hard work obviously. It is a 1 1/2 hour class twice a week. He has only been going since April so he has not invested a lot of time in it. However, he has no other sport. It is two blocks away so even my 10 year old can walk there by himself. And it is pretty cheap, the second child in a family is only $35/month, so that is the price for two classes a week every week for him. It fits perfectly into our schedule. It is really great exercise that he wasn't otherwise getting. WWYD? Of course I'd let him quit. Why make him continue something he does not love?? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApprentice Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 He tried it, didn't care for it. I'd let him quit. It's the age to try stuff, lots of stuff. I would encourage him to do something active. though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 This is what I did with my DS. I think it's a bad idea to force something on a kid that isn't in their nature (assuming it's not a life skill); it just forever turns a kid off to that activity. I would let him quit if he does not like it, but require that he would have to choose another physical activity if he does so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.