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When you visit out of town friends and stay, do you...


craftymama
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No, that would be weird. I'd be offended if a guest offered me money. They're my guest. As a guest, I will usually bring some local wine and gifts for the kids. I will also usually treat my host family to dinner out one night. But outright money, no. When we have guests, they usually do something similar. If flying, though, I don't bring the wine :)

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What we usually do is offer to take them out to dinner once or twice during a visit depending how long it is.  One time we stayed with our kids with a couple that does not have kids.  They fed and housed us for a week.  We gave them flowers and a large gift card when we left.  We often come bearing some staples and adult beverages. 

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No, no money.  Gifts, dinners out, groceries...

 

Once an friend stayed overnight while traveling in my area.  He basically just slept at our house, as he had other things going on.  I am not sure we fed him more than morning coffee!  He left a $20 bill on the dresser when he left.  I put it in my wallet and carried it around for about 2 years, till the next time I saw him, and we bought beers with it.  That's when I finally told him I was offended by his leaving cash for me. 

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I give a grocery gift card -- often a generous one if we know that they have budget limitations.

 

People tend not to use it until we are gone, so that delays them knowing that it was for an excessive amount. For people who are well-enough off, we usually go with the 'out to dinner' route, but in many cases it's important to realize that eating people's food leaves them with less food, especially if they go to the trouble of some 'company meals' for our sake. Steak for supper and bacon and eggs for breakfast for two or three times the number of people they usually feed isn't a negligible expense when it's coming out of their everyday grocery budget.

 

I wouldn't try to get away with a straight cash gift... even I can tell that would be awkward.

 

If they wouldn't accept a grocery gift card, I'd bring my own food contributions instead.

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One of my good friends has hosted us numerous times as she lives in the area where we used to live and where our extended family lives. We have had her over many times, usually for Thanksgiving. We delight in finding the most off the wall gift for each other. If it's impromptu, we take her out or leave her kitchen spotless with some flowers on the table as she often leaves for work before we are heading out.

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