GinaPagnato Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 ...I feel the intense need to shower. I have her ick all over me. I didn't set myself up for her ick. I didn't accept her ick when she tried to spread it around. I was simply in close proximity to her ick and it got on me. We had a large family gathering and so I had no choice but to be around her. I'm currently still limping from some awful things she said to me a couple of weeks ago, so I've wanted to avoid contact for a while. However, with this family thing, I had to see her (long story). So anyway, she sat there like a displeased queen bee, sulking when the conversation wasn't completely about her, rejecting attempts that others made to include her in the conversation. She does this creepy thing with her eyes and mouth, where her eyes get sort of squinty and her mouth gets this haughty appearance, right before she says something rude. Sometimes the rudeness is right in your face, sometimes it's somewhat shrouded, but the target knows what she (my mom) is doing. I'm just so over it/her, and wish with every breath in my body that she'd find some Del Boca Vista place somewhere to retire and JUST GO!!!!! I wish some man who needs her money would attach himself to her and serve her every whim in exchange for financial stability so that she would be otherwise occupied and leave me alone. So disappointing that this is my mother and that I feel this way about her. :sad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I'm so sorry, Gina. :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I can relate. :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I'm so sorry. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Hugs 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acadie Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I'm so sorry. I totally get the ick, the limping, the creep, the completely over-it, the massive disappointment. I also want to say I hear you speaking from a healthy place, and that's an enormous challenge. Go you! Praise heaven you're the one who can take yourself home, to your sweet home, and take a shower. Amy 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted July 21, 2015 Author Share Posted July 21, 2015 I'm so sorry. I totally get the ick, the limping, the creep, the completely over-it, the massive disappointment. I also want to say I hear you speaking from a healthy place, and that's an enormous challenge. Go you! Praise heaven you're the one who can take yourself home, to your sweet home, and take a shower. Amy Thanks. I paid a therapist and the self-help section of our bookstore lots of money to get to this healthy place, but it was worth it! 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Yes, I have a relative like that, and sometimes it's just harder to get rid of the ick than others. I am sorry. :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I am so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Thanks. I paid a therapist and the self-help section of our bookstore lots of money to get to this healthy place, but it was worth it! Any recommendations? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinsomeCreek Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I'm sorry you had to go through that. A shower might actually help. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I am sorry, Gina. I hope you received some good mothering from someone else or at least have other encouraging people in your life that bring good things to your table. Scrub yourself clean quickly and think of something fun to do...:) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Don't let her guilt in, ever. Hugs to you. Try not to let your mind think of the things she said. It is so not worth it. Take that nice warm shower, with pretty shower gel, and think of all the wonderful people in your life that love you and appreciate you. Smile that you can walk away and not dwell on her ick. Let her be miserable, and you can walk away in victory. You are not bad for not letting her hurt you. You are strong. Very strong. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted July 21, 2015 Author Share Posted July 21, 2015 Slache, there's a lot out there now. More so than several years ago when I was seeking to understand what I was dealing with. But here are some resources I have used which were very helpful: Understanding the Borderline Mother Boundaries WIll I Ever Be Good Enough This blog: echorecovery.blogspot And a Facebook site called "Freedom from Parental Narcissistic Abuse" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emzhengjiu Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm so sorry, but I'm so glad you're in a healthy place in your life now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Slache, there's a lot out there now. More so than several years ago when I was seeking to understand what I was dealing with. But here are some resources I have used which were very helpful: Understanding the Borderline Mother Boundaries WIll I Ever Be Good Enough This blog: echorecovery.blogspot And a Facebook site called "Freedom from Parental Narcissistic Abuse" Wow, That is a great blog to read. Thank you so much for the link. Sometimes you can feel like the crazy is just in your head... and it isn't. It is real. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Sorry -- I have had someone in my life like that. In the end, I began to secretly pretend I was a traveller to an alien planet and observing a new species of an intelligent life form. Or that I was an anthropologist observing a hitherto undiscovered culture. I would create imaginary entries in my imaginary journal as she did her crazy around me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeghansMom Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I can empathize. hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 I know how it feels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Classical Katharine Posted July 23, 2015 Share Posted July 23, 2015 Why Is It Always About You might be of some help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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