Perogi Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 This evening I called dd's baseball coach and took him up on his offer to drive dd to practice because dh was sick today and I needed to stay home and care for our other kids. On the way home, dd says "without warning", she threw up in his truck!! She burst into tears because she was so embarrassed. I asked dd about the truck and she said she caught it all in her lap and the coach stopped so she could shakeit off. I put dd in the bath and called the coach's house. I spoke to his wife and she commented about puke being on her husband's coat and pants and said he and their daughter were outside scrubbing the truck. She was laughing and gracious and understanding. I offered to pay for their truck to be cleaned but she declined, claiming their steam cleaner would do the trick. I still feel awful! Yes, it was an unfortunate accident that I couldn't have seen coming, but I think I want to do something to apologize. I'm mortified. Thoughts?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Take them a plate of cookies next week when you're sure no one at your house is sick. Don't beat yourself up over it, sounds like the coach and his wife are experienced parents and know how to roll with things. 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Nah..let it go. Puke happens. You called and acknowledged it. That's good enough. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I think I'd get them a gift card or flowers if you think they'll like them. As mortifying as it is, try to let it go. This stuff happens. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Cookies later on would be marvelous. Even if they're cool with it, everyone appreciates acknowledgment ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Oh, dear! How absolutely mortifying for your dd! I hope she is feeling better. I would pick up a gift card to a nice restaurant and pop it in the mail with a nice card or note. Give them a sweet memory out of something rather icky. Tell your dd, when I was 13, I once threw up in front of all of my friends (and the boy I liked at the time), all over the lunch table in the cafeteria. I thought I would die of embarrassment, but managed to live through it. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 My eldest used to get carsick a lot. DH developed a trash can for my van, basically an upright Rubbermaid bin with a snap on lid that he modified. He cut the middle out of the lid so only the ring remained, and glued velcro to the bottom of the bin so it would stick to the carpet on the van floor. We line the bin with plastic grocery bags to corral trash (makes emptying the bin quick and easy) and use the ring to hold the bags in place. When she would get nauseous we would take the bag of trash out and hand her the bucket to hold in her lap and use at will. Once used we would stop at some safe place along a grassy verge, empty out the contents, rinse it out with bottled water, and continue on. Perhaps you can construct some of these for yourselves, and give one to them as an after-the-horse-left-the-barn gift? You can include a bottle of water, some plastic grocery bags, and a few paper towels done up as paper roses or other napkin art. :thumbup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I would send a 'thank you for your understanding' type card, with a small gift... that isn't food. No cookies. No restaurants. Maybe something related to baseball. Nothing big enough to cause the awkwardness to swing the other way: don't overcompensate. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Since it was the dad dealing with it my husband thought a 6 pack of beer might be nice ;-) Well, he thought I should let it go but when I wasn't letting it go he suggested a dude type gift. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 I am wary of overcompensating and my hesitation with a gift card was then deciding the value of the gift card! We are from a small, friendly town and I do think they understand and aren't harboring a grudge. Nevertheless, I would like to acknowledge the time it cost them - and the ick factor! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Gift certificate to a car wash? Also, I know things are different everywhere, but under our safe sport guidelines, a coach is never, ever, allowed to transport an unrelated child in his or her car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Interesting! That's definitely not a rule here! In case it was ambiguous, the coach's daughter was also present. I like the car wash idea too! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I'd get him a GC for a car wash/detailing. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Nothing is necessary but I agree that a little gift might be nice. 6pack sounds like a good idea. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Gift certificate to a car wash? Also, I know things are different everywhere, but under our safe sport guidelines, a coach is never, ever, allowed to transport an unrelated child in his or her car. Coaches give rides all the time here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasperstone Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 A bottle of wine (or chocolate) and a card. :-D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 This is something culturally weird to me I'm not understanding - can someone explain? How can one 'overcompensate' in gratitude for kind treatment? What's the downside of being 'overly' grateful, generous, thankful, whatever? Truly, I'm baffled by that. Is it that it makes things more awkward or something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 It would be embarassing to be given a gift out of all proportion to the act. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Take them a plate of cookies next week when you're sure no one at your house is sick. Don't beat yourself up over it, sounds like the coach and his wife are experienced parents and know how to roll with things. I agree a plate of cookies and apology and then let it go. If you keep on about it, you will embarrass and burden them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 This is something culturally weird to me I'm not understanding - can someone explain? How can one 'overcompensate' in gratitude for kind treatment? What's the downside of being 'overly' grateful, generous, thankful, whatever? Truly, I'm baffled by that. Is it that it makes things more awkward or something? I agree. Although if you consider this is her coach, I can imagine that too big of a gift might teeter into unethical. I really don't think a gift is necessary either way. A bit over the top. Someone once cleaned up after my kid puking. I won't bore with the details. I thanked her profusely and told her that's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me because it's one thing to clean up after your own kid, but someone else? A couple of the other parents left because they were about to hurl themselves over it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I'd buy a gift card to the local car wash and send it with a card about how great they are to coach and care so much about the kids, and an apology. Then, let it go. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 This is something culturally weird to me I'm not understanding - can someone explain? How can one 'overcompensate' in gratitude for kind treatment? What's the downside of being 'overly' grateful, generous, thankful, whatever? Truly, I'm baffled by that. Is it that it makes things more awkward or something? The issue is reciprocity. A large gift could make the receiver feel sort of in debt to the giver, even though not meant that way. It can also make a friendship feel more like a business relationship. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I think the car wash coupon would have the right tone to send. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I agree with a car wash coupon. This does not seem like a time when food is appropriate. If you handed me a plate of cookies to thank me for cleaning up your child's puke, I would not be able to eat them. (I would probably gag!) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 It would be embarassing to be given a gift out of all proportion to the act. Ah. I guess I think someone not getting angry over a dirty car, demanding reparations, or being rude or hurtful to an already horribly embarrassed and sensitive teen is a Big Deal, so responding with profuse thanks and a treat or card would be in scale with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 This JUST happened to us two months ago. However, the owner of the car was NOT cool about it. At all. She was livid. I guess the car is brand new and dd (who has never yakked in a car before) did not really know how to do it gracefully so it got all over her own clothing and the seat. Because the owner was so upset, I felt obligated to purchase a $100 interior detail gift card. Despite this the owner never fails to remind me or my dd about the incident every time we run into her. As of yesterday (the last time we saw her), her car STILL smells. Thanks for the update. Poor dd was mortified enough without the anger and comments. She is now so nervous, she will not ride in anyone else's car which is tricky because this was for a team sport that requires a lot of travel. We typically take turns driving. I guess not us anymore..... So, given that your people are being very nice, I would not only give a small thank you gift but also profusely thank them for not making your child feel like mine does. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I agree with a car wash coupon. This does not seem like a time when food is appropriate. If you handed me a plate of cookies to thank me for cleaning up your child's puke, I would not be able to eat them. (I would probably gag!) I was thinking the same thing! "Thanks for cleaning up my kid's puke. Did you catch that norovirus? No? Here's some cookies that I just baked." Yummy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Gift certificate to a car wash? Also, I know things are different everywhere, but under our safe sport guidelines, a coach is never, ever, allowed to transport an unrelated child in his or her car. I've never heard of this. Our coach offered to take DD to soccer when I hurt my ankle and couldn't drive for a bit. OP - please don't beat yourself up. Throw up happens. I would not be in the least bit upset if it happened in my car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 Ah. I guess I think someone not getting angry over a dirty car, demanding reparations, or being rude or hurtful to an already horribly embarrassed and sensitive teen is a Big Deal, so responding with profuse thanks and a treat or card would be in scale with that. I absolutely agree that sincerest thanks and a token of my appreciation for their gracious understanding is appropriate. I do think there's a danger of overdoing it though. I also would not have held the least bit of grudge had they asked for me to pay to have their car cleaned. I would not, however, expect anyone to be rude or hurtful to a child who had an accident! I am genuinely grateful for their kind and friendly way of handling it ("Don't worry, we've all had our moments, kids puke"). I was further impressed today when their daughter called to inquire after dd and see how she was feeling today. I will absolutely be acknowledging the incident with a card and gift at the next practice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perogi Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 This JUST happened to us two months ago. However, the owner of the car was NOT cool about it. At all. She was livid. I guess the car is brand new and dd (who has never yakked in a car before) did not really know how to do it gracefully so it got all over her own clothing and the seat. Because the owner was so upset, I felt obligated to purchase a $100 interior detail gift card. Despite this the owner never fails to remind me or my dd about the incident every time we run into her. As of yesterday (the last time we saw her), her car STILL smells. Thanks for the update. Poor dd was mortified enough without the anger and comments. She is now so nervous, she will not ride in anyone else's car which is tricky because this was for a team sport that requires a lot of travel. We typically take turns driving. I guess not us anymore..... So, given that your people are being very nice, I would not only give a small thank you gift but also profusely thank them for not making your child feel like mine does. I'm so sorry that this was your experience :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Ah. I guess I think someone not getting angry over a dirty car, demanding reparations, or being rude or hurtful to an already horribly embarrassed and sensitive teen is a Big Deal, so responding with profuse thanks and a treat or card would be in scale with that. She wasn't sick on purpose and it could happen to anyone. Why would you be angry with or mean to someone for being unwell? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 I agree a plate of cookies and apology and then let it go. If you keep on about it, you will embarrass and burden them. Am I the only one thinking that dd could toss the cookies? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 She wasn't sick on purpose and it could happen to anyone. Why would you be angry with or mean to someone for being unwell? You'd be surprised! Some people are less than understanding of accidents, especially in their vehicles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 You'd be surprised! Some people are less than understanding of accidents, especially in their vehicles.They probably have nicer cars than I am used too. I wouldn't be overjoyed just not mean. Eta. If it were an adult I may be less sympathetic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1GirlTwinBoys Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I like the car wash gift card idea and a little card. That would be more than enough I think. It would also add a little humor to the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 This evening I called dd's baseball coach and took him up on his offer to drive dd to practice because dh was sick today and I needed to stay home and care for our other kids. On the way home, dd says "without warning", she threw up in his truck!! She burst into tears because she was so embarrassed. I asked dd about the truck and she said she caught it all in her lap and the coach stopped so she could shakeit off. I put dd in the bath and called the coach's house. I spoke to his wife and she commented about puke being on her husband's coat and pants and said he and their daughter were outside scrubbing the truck. She was laughing and gracious and understanding. I offered to pay for their truck to be cleaned but she declined, claiming their steam cleaner would do the trick. I still feel awful! Yes, it was an unfortunate accident that I couldn't have seen coming, but I think I want to do something to apologize. I'm mortified. Thoughts?? You did enough. And it isn't as if your daughter could help it. This just happens sometimes. You brought back memories of when I was hit in the eye with a rock by the neighbor's slingshot. My eye filled with blood and hours later ,my mom noticed and we needed to go to the hospital. My aunt came over in her brand new car to drive us. Yep...I threw up spaghetti all over her new car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 I had a baby in our car. After that, cleaning up some puke would be a piece of cake! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted March 21, 2015 Share Posted March 21, 2015 If there is a nice auto detailing place near by, and your budget comfortably allows, I'd give them a gift certificate for a nice detailing (the $30-50 level, not the $300 level, lol). They'll use it eventually (if not now!) and enjoy it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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