kewb Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I am at my wits end with my oldest. He is almost 17 years old and has no work ethic in regards to his schoolwork. He holds down a job in the summer. Manages his sports schedule. WWhen it comes to his schoolwork he just doesn't seem to care if he gets it done or not. He will meet deadlines for outside classes. Those have helped him with some task management challenges but anything I assign is a chore. I wish I could outsource all of his classes but that is not in the budget. I have talked with him. I have set expectations. I have had him set expectations. I have sat with him. Not sat with him. Lost my temper like a crazy lady. Had him miss things he wanted to do because he has not met his deadline. Nothing seems to make a difference. I know he is at a point where he needs to be responsible and it is not all my fault but I feel like it is. That I have failed to give/teach/model something and I am feeling the need for a pity party. He tells me he wants to go away for college but I worry he does not have the skill set to be successful and I am out of ideas. Hug me and tell me he is not ruined for life and some suggestions that will help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Is he a junior or senior this year? Either way, I might be tempted to have him repeat a grade. I might also consider a "gap" year when you finally do graduate him. However, my kid is only in 6th, so take the above suggestions with a grain of salt. Hopefully, others who have BTDT will have some ideas. In the meantime, hugs to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Kathy, is he a junior or a senior this year? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 He is not ruined for life. You're a good parent. He's either not motivated because it's not important to him OR something else is going on, like maybe ADHD. Does he have other signs of not being able to plan/manage things properly? Does he procrastinate? Is his room a pit of disorganization? Have you ever had him evaluated for ADHD? Have you considered giving him a gap year, sending him on a mission trip, or doing something like Outward Bound or ROTC? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Does he have a part time minimum wage job? That does wonders for giving many at school inspiration to work harder with a plan for life - esp if they can't just spend their weekly paycheck on extras, but need to pay for gas or car payments or something. Is he more aligned to any of the trades? Many who dislike academic work are - and those are worthy paths to follow. What does he want to do in life (besides go away to college - after that - what does he want to do)? Can he shadow someone doing that and let them offer him some inspiration? It's NORMAL for many kids to slack off. They're getting bored with school and eager to set out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Honestly, both of my older kids behaved like spoiled toddlers when they were seventeen. My son was in college and doing fine, but his personal responsibility in any other area was seriously lacking and dd was so nasty to the family that I almost threw her out the week after her 18th birthday. I think the idea that you are/ are becoming a legal adult causes some kids to go into a sort of mental gridlock. As far as being ready for college, my dh worked in a college math lab and a college computer lab and helped many, many people that are not ready for college but end up there anyway. Lots of them get degrees and move on with life. Next year he can go to junior college (which he can pay for himself) and figure out that he needs to study. When that happens he may decide to quit for awhile before dealing with the fact that he needs to re-mediate, he may get tutoring, or he may go into the trades which he might be more suited for anyway if he it truly not academically minded. There is no crime in not being scholarly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momee Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 "Hug me and tell me he is not ruined for life and some suggestions that will help. " I concur with creekland. Having btdt I can say this too shall pass. What I wish I'd done in the situation: extended hope to him, (not fear) that he will be okay been MUCH more grace-filled (I was not because I was worried and I am sad to say I allowed this fear to permeate our relationship). He needed me to have faith in him - to be positive. I couldn't because I had a picture in my mind what a successful young man should be doing and he wasn't doing it. realized HIS decisions are HIS alone. YOU cannot control him (as I'm sure you have discovered). You can help, give advice and mentor but you cannot control. not taken it all so personally - (still recovering from that one) IF he doesn't do well it does not mean YOU HAVEN'T... seized the idea that not all kids go to excellent colleges, heck, not all kids go to college! Trades are an excellent ways to support a family What we did right: hold him to consequences talked ALOT with him, tried to gain his heart (didn't always work) tried to expose him to as many skill sets as we could consistently there for him - it has paid off big time. He wants to be around us. He desires to hear our advice. But it was a tough road getting here... hugs to you as you become a parent of an adult!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Dear Kathy, I just want you to know that my oldest was exactly like this for his Jr. and Sr. years of high school. He did so well in his tutorial and CC dual enrollment classes, but other areas, well, there were many times I thought I would completely lose my mind with frustration. We tried different systems of accountability, dh being closely involved, etc., etc. I don't have any solutions for you, just sympathy, and maybe give you a little hope in saying that ds is a freshman at the University, living on campus, and made the deans list. He is doing well as far as I know, but I think being "on his own" has been very very good for both him and me. :) (We suspect in hindsight that he would have been better off in public high school, but by the time we were in the middle of it, it was really too late to enroll him - high schools here would not have accepted his homeschool classes for credit and he would have had to pretty much start back a year or two.) ((Kathy)) Do what you can to maintain a positive relationship with him. All is not lost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 Thank you, everyone. He is a junior this year. I have thought about a gap year after his senior year involving a service project. He works as a lifeguard during the summers at our town pool. He has never been evaluated for adhd. His room is a pit of despair and that started a couple of years ago. Up until puberty he was neat as a pin. I have really been trying to focus on executive function skills with him this year. What he wants to do with his life changes monthly. Which to some degree I am okay with. These years are all about self discovery. We are not aiming for high pressure, highly selective college. He realizes that a smaller college is the right environment for him. We have always stressed that the college where you will be successful is more important than the "right college". I already feel so much better getting this off my chest. And hearing that this too shall pass. I really miss the days where all it took for him to have a good day was finding a piece of string to play with. I think I am part of the problem. We are reaching the proof is in the pudding stage of our journey and I know I am full of fear that all our family will get to say "see, we knew you should have sent your kids to school." I keep trying to remind myself that this is not about me. I will let him know I believe in him. I am now thinking that maybe I am operating out of fear more than I thought. The hive is the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 I have soooo BTDT. And I want to reassure you that you are not responsible for this....or at least, I hope *I* was not responsible for it when it was my son!! In his case, I think it was probably more ADD than anything else, and the interesting thing is that he has done fairly well in college. I want to point out that I don't think that taking a year off would have helped him, because he still struggles to meet deadlines, to stay on top of everything, and to get enough sleep. But another year would have made no difference in those problems. I think you have to use your knowledge of your own child to try to understand the best way to proceed. We have another kid who is 18 now and IMO is NOT ready for college. We are very strongly encouraging him to take a year off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Have patience; DS21was just like your description in his teens. He is now in his junior year at university studying mechanical engineering, making A's, working a challenging paid internship, and participating in a fraternity that focuses on philanthropy rather than partying. Yes, I am bragging, but also pointing out how much they grow up after high school. :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Would attending the local public school be an option? He'd be answerable to their schedule and demands, and might make a difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 The sentence that I found most important was: "He will meet deadlines for his outside classes". So, it's not that he CANNOT get organized and meet deadlines. He can - if he is held responsible by an authority other than mom. That should give you hope. It is still unpleasant to deal with his attitude, but to a certain degree that is normal. Most teenage boys don't care much about school. I found (and I read this from other people on these boards as well) that as soon as we outsourced, DD devoted more attention and effort to her outside classes than to the things we did at home. And she was my ambitious overachiever. To some extent, this seems to be normal. So no, you have not ruined anything. And it may not be any indication for lacking college readiness. It may simply be that he does better when he is responsible to somebody who is not you. And in college, he will be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Hey, so not ruined for life. That age is a tricky one. He's not really a kid, not quite an adult in terms of responsible decisions. Hang in there. This too, shall pass! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Does he have a lot of good MALE influences in his life? Can he be held more accountable to dad? Could he find a guy to mentor him, work a co-op job with (mornings or afternoons), have a part time job during the school year? Most 17 year old boys do better with someone other than just mom holding them responsible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 He is on contact with our local high school to see what is required if he wants to attend next year for senior year. Not sure if it will be a viable option. I have talked with him about curriculum choices and have asked for his input about course of study and assignments. I will continue to try getting him to take more of an interest. He can be very uncommunicative lately. Male influences. Unfortunately, his father has been ill for the past few years. Chronic illness. That has brought it's own set of challenges for everyone. He does have his high school swim coach and he used to have his club team coach. The new coach this year did not connect with him at all. My son can not stand the man. We have not been able to work in a part time job during the school year due to his swim commitment and my being unavailable for chauffering. Perhaps that will be an option once he gets his license. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I think I am part of the problem. We are reaching the proof is in the pudding stage of our journey and I know I am full of fear that all our family will get to say "see, we knew you should have sent your kids to school." Does your family not know any actual teenagers? Teenagers can be little $7*!s. LOTS of people fall off for a couple of years at 11/12, 16/17. They are ages of huge adjustment. While outside accountability might help, this is not a homeschooling issue. If you could turn your kid into the perfect teen by sending them to public school, tell ya what... nobody would homeschool in the first place. Really, they wouldn't. Everyone would just send their kid to the perfect kid factory known as the public schools. Suffice it to say even this public-school proponent finds that idea preposterous. All I have for you are hugs. I know a number of people who slacked off at this age (all public schooled, natch) and eventually reality knocked sense into them and they went back to community college. Incidentally, one is currently a lawyer, one is a doctor (Ivy League educated, family practice) and yet another works for a top firm in finance. Seriously. He will be okay. HUGE hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 Does your family not know any actual teenagers? Teenagers can be little $7*!s. LOTS of people fall off for a couple of years at 11/12, 16/17. They are ages of huge adjustment. While outside accountability might help, this is not a homeschooling issue. If you could turn your kid into the perfect teen by sending them to public school, tell ya what... nobody would homeschool in the first place. Really, they wouldn't. Everyone would just send their kid to the perfect kid factory known as the public schools. Suffice it to say even this public-school proponent finds that idea preposterous. All I have for you are hugs. I know a number of people who slacked off at this age (all public schooled, natch) and eventually reality knocked sense into them and they went back to community college. Incidentally, one is currently a lawyer, one is a doctor (Ivy League educated, family practice) and yet another works for a top firm in finance. Seriously. He will be okay. HUGE hugs. lol, now that I think about it, there are not many teenagers on either side of the family. My one sil's kids-one is in college and the other is a senior in high school. According to my mil they are perfect in every way. Even when my nephew (the senior in high school) got drunk and drove his friends car when he does not have a license and crashed it, well, high school hijinks. This is normal teen behavior in my mil's world. My other sil's kids are 13 and under. They are also perfect. Mine are the strange ones in that family dynamic because, you know, they homeschool and I don't want to cut the apron strings. On my side, my nephews are 14 and under. My sister kids go to a really awesome private school. To be fair, my family was more supportive of homeschooling until we got to high school and then when my husband became ill all I heaard from them was put the kids in school and go back to work. Different kind of baggage on my side. Now that I am typing this out I am not sure why I care about their opinion. I guess no one likes to be told "i told you so" no matter the source. I have to say, that you are right. Teens can be little $7*!s. Some days I don't even want to be in the same room as my son because he is being so daft/stubborn/self-centered. No matter how much I tell myself this is normal teen growing up behavior so I will be happy to see the back of him when he leaves home, it still hurts like the dickens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mango Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I highly recommend a virtual charter school. I have a teen who prefers not to work for me. In desperation I outsourced her schooling 2 years ago. It was a big learning curve for her. She doing it, she's working harder than she ever has before. There's a certain pride in her accomplishments that never was there before too. And I've become the "good guy" in her life again advocating when there's a need. :)) Now's the time of year to enrolll in the virtual schools. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momee Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 "I have to say, that you are right. Teens can be little $7*!s. Some days I don't even want to be in the same room as my son because he is being so daft/stubborn/self-centered. No matter how much I tell myself this is normal teen growing up behavior so I will be happy to see the back of him when he leaves home, it still hurts like the dickens." Parenting is hard work and so many times moms don't talk about this because they fear it makes them look bad. Find a friend and get support. Non-judgmental support :) of course. I'll share some of my heart if you're caring enough to keep reading...I wanted my ds gone as soon as possible (and he knew it) because he was difficult. He caused numerous rifts in our "peaceful"lol family. He was emotional, irate, and just plain difficult in many ways. HOWEVER - I really didn't want to "see the back of him", I just wanted things to be like he was when he was 4 again. You and I both know that was not happening. Now that he is gone :( I am like the prodigal's father wanting to throw a party when he comes home to visit and we hug each other for a long time EACH time we see each other because we both know we walked through some pretty tough junk together and made it to the other side. He leaves repeating I love you Momma at least three times. I can't help but think I did something right in the midst of all that, and that is where the real PRIZE is... Hang in, realize your reaction is what will stay with him. Try in those tense moments to remain calm, not engage when he is angry, be hopeful that he will get it, and ferociously be his advocate. As difficult as it seems, your best ally will be to put aside the personal digs and daggers (and they will come). I had a VERY emotionally unstable mother who parented using guilt, screaming and physical violence as motivators so I speak from experience. NOT healthy. I say all this knowing what it's like to have knock down drag out fights and kids who slam doors, walk out and embarrass the heck out of you. I say it all knowing the truth that one day this youngster who thinks he knows it all will be a man with a family thanking you for loving him and not keeping records of wrongs (not holding his sins against him-and who needs that anyway?) - and extending grace (giving what he does not deserve) at the moment he most needs it. I know this also because my husband is such a man and his mother who walked through waaaay worse than I did with him now lives with us. Their relationship is sooo special and tender (I think partly because of it all and the example of restoration they are to each other.) On a much lighter note...your guy sounds tame, actually, compared to mine if that helps in the least. Hugs to you as you walk this road. It is not easy and hurts, alot! I read once having children is like having your heart walk around outside of your body. Yep, that sums it up well. *hope it is ok but I can't help but quote the bible verse that kept me from giving up on him...so powerfully true... Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Don't fear your family. If they tell you that things would be different if he wasn't homeschooled then if he were public schooled they would still blame you for whatever. :grouphug: Developmental stages exist in school and in homeschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momee Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 "That I have failed to give/teach/model something and I am feeling the need for a pity party." I hate that. I hate that. I hate that. Praying that passes quickly for you. Have you read... http://www.amazon.com/Lies-Homeschooling-Moms-Believe-Wilson/dp/1933858141 He hits the hs mommy guilt thing square in the face~ and this was a lifesaver for me and I suggested it to quite a few other women who have come to me for counseling who were in similar situations and heard great feedback...great book... http://www.amazon.com/Age-Opportunity-Biblical-Parenting-Resources/dp/0875526055 I'll shut up now. Sorry if I"ve shared too much. I think this stuff is WAY more important to talk about on the hs board than what science we use (where is the saying that and running away smiley?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momee Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 duplicate post, sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 (((Kewb))) I know you've mentioned slowing him down, maybe taking a gap year...maybe he needs to speed up and just finish high school and move on? Some people are just. done. with HS earlier than others. Mentally, socially, emotionally. The fact that you wrote he is responsible in other areas of education and life makes me think he might be ready to move on. I have a relative who decided at 16 he was done with HS. It turned out he needed 1 English class and 1 Social Studies class to meet graduation requirements. He did those in summer school and was done a year early. He started working more than full time and when he was old enough, got his CDL. He was so much happier to be living life on his terms...motivated, productive, energetic. On a related note, I try so hard to love my kids where they are, and not worry and be fearful about their futures. It is so difficult for me bc I am a worrier. What if? What if? What if? And if only...if only I had done this or that or the other thing, would they be struggling. It is really hard to let go of that thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 :grouphug: kewb. I did think I was going to lose my mind when my ds1 was 17. He was a young senior and really he was ready to be done. I dragged him through the college application process, hounded him about finishing his classes, worried, worried all the time. He is my oldest and definitely my guinea pig for all the educational things. He was generally pleasant, but very, very difficult to talk to and he just didn't talk to us. I kept thinking that when I was a senior, I didn't talk much to my parents at all either. I was ready to go and so was he. The things that helped were: 1. his job. He worked as a swim coach and the parents and kids loved, loved him. And that made me worry a bit less. 2. He planned a solo trip to Europe. He used some of his savings (and got early graduation presents from his grandmothers). He went for 6 weeks in April/May and when he came home, he was so wonderful to be around. This trip also had the effect of an absolutely positively firm deadline for all high school work due to me. And he did it. 3. Time. He is now a happy, engaged, talkative, idealistic young man. He calls to talk. He listens to our opinions and counsel (I have no idea if he takes it, but he listens). Time was the most important. And, I had to not let fear make me crazy. Little boys do dumb things, so do big boys. It is part of having a son. :grouphug: to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 momee said:"Now that he is gone :( I am like the prodigal's father wanting to throw a party when he comes home to visit and we hug each other for a long time EACH time we see each other because we both know we walked through some pretty tough junk together and made it to the other side. He leaves repeating I love you Momma at least three times. I can't help but think I did something right in the midst of all that, and that is where the real PRIZE is... Hang in, realize your reaction is what will stay with him. Try in those tense moments to remain calm, not engage when he is angry, be hopeful that he will get it, and ferociously be his advocate. As difficult as it seems, your best ally will be to put aside the personal digs and daggers (and they will come). I had a VERY emotionally unstable mother who parented using guilt, screaming and physical violence as motivators so I speak from experience. NOT healthy. I say all this knowing what it's like to have knock down drag out fights and kids who slam doors, walk out and embarrass the heck out of you. I say it all knowing the truth that one day this youngster who thinks he knows it all will be a man with a family thanking you for loving him and not keeping records of wrongs (not holding his sins against him-and who needs that anyway?) - and extending grace (giving what he does not deserve) at the moment he most needs it. I know this also because my husband is such a man and his mother who walked through waaaay worse than I did with him now lives with us. Their relationship is sooo special and tender (I think partly because of it all and the example of restoration they are to each other.)" Now I say: Quoting because liking is not enough. I used to feel real despair at my son's awful, even troubled, disturbed, behavior. I felt like the worst parent in the world. I don't think I stood by him, and advocated for him, as much as I could have, but, he**, I quit my job and totally rearranged my life to home school and supervise him, and our story is much like what you describe. I was so distracted by his horrible behavior, and I took it so personally (really, who wouldn't), that it was impossible for me to imagine a good outcome. Yet, he really loves me, and is doing OK. He is still finishing growing up, but I can see now that his behavior was too much of a focus for me and he really, in his heart, was always a good kid. I would never advocate stepping back...what I needed to do, if I did anything differently, was to be MORE involved and advocate for him more. Live and learn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 My older two spoiled us - making us think that living with teens was a dream and only other people had problems with them (at least, most of the time - we all have our moments). Our youngest grounded us in reality and helped Zits become one of our favorite comics as we could relate to it so much. He made the transition to empty nesting much easier than it could have been. I'm not sure if that's a pro or con. And now? Oldest only speaks to us on rare occasions. He's married and has his own life. Middle is still every parent's dream - and there's nothing WE did to make him that way. Any of you would love to have him as your son. If he'd been an only child we'd have been so smug and wondered what was wrong with everyone else. And youngest? He's matured a ton since going away to college. He confides in us more and shares more with us - even asks our opinion and considers it!!! We are a big part of his life now. I'm loving it! It can be very difficult to predict the future, but many of us can confide that what you are seeing is well within normal parameters. By the way... that's a pro! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I think many teens (and boys especially) need some outside accountability. That could be dual credit classes, coops, public or private school, or even a online correspondence school or several classes. Answering to someone else is so helpful. Teens need to be kept busy during their non-school times with a job, sports, or other outside classes and opportunities for social activities. We had no outside accountability with our first 2, and it was hard for me. #3 and 4 are in high school at a private school (it has been wonderful for them). My last 3 I am not sure what we will do yet. My now 8th grader is not going to be able to go to the same high school as the older 2 because it is a classical, VERY academically challenging school. That is not her. So it will be public school or homeschooling with lots of outsourcing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 (didn't read previous replies) Diamond was similar when she was in high school. She graduated, and went to community college- her first/only choice school. She has never missed a class other than for severe illness, and has never been late- and she is NOT a morning person. She is holding 4 part-time jobs, and will graduate in May, debt-free. The only thing I do for her is work out her class schedule- but that is bacause she shares the family car so I needed her classes to work with the rest of our schedule. She is paying her own way through school, too- all we help with is use of the car and groceries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 You have all been very helpful. Discussed with my son yesterday that I think some of our conflict lately is because I am afraid and why. Told him I believe in him and that I am here to help him to achieve his goals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Very happy to hear you had a good honest talk. Only good can come of that... even if it takes awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storygirl Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 I just wanted to piggyback on some of the other comments. I'm glad you had a talk with him. My kids are still young, but my brother was a very difficult teen and did poorly academically (his high school GPA was something like 1.7). He was rebellious and disrespectful to my parents and was not a good brother either. Fast forward to when he was 25: He decided to straighten up and move back home and go to community college. He worked hard, got straight A's, passed the CPA exam, and joined my dad's small accounting business. He turned his life around and found success. So there is hope!! But, and this is a big thing -- he always had a completely terrible relationship with my mother. Always. It never improved. Looking back, I can see that she failed to show him that she loved him throughout his troublesome years and was constantly critical of him instead. He was able to turn around his life, but they never repaired their relationship. It's not all my mom's fault, of course. He truly is a difficult personality and was horrible to be around turning his teen and young adult years. But as the parent, she had the greater responsibility to love in spite of it all, and she dropped the ball on that. So I just want to agree with those who encouraged you to focus on having a positive relationship with him throughout the times of trouble. He will only be a student for this little time of his life, but his relationship with you is forever. I'm glad you were able to have a good talk! I hope things improve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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