Friendship based on pork.

[toawh]

I after-school. My kids go to public school. Today, my ds informed me that he no longer eats pork. This shocked me; I'm still not sure what to think. Apparently, this has been going on in school for awhile and has finally spilled over to home. I asked him what he would do if I made spaghetti and meatballs, his favorite meal. He didn't pause. Told me he would refuse the meatballs and eat only the pasta. I asked him why since he likes this meal. He said he liked it only because he didn't know it was pork. And that it is disgusting. Apparently, his best friend at school is Muslim and has been very vocal about his own refusal to eat pork and the relationship between them is threatened if my son continues to eat pork. Also the Muslim boy gets a lot of attention at school needing a different meat option when the meal is pork-based, and he makes comments about how gross what everyone else is eating during the meal. We, as a family, eat pork at least once a week since it's a cheaper meat and I am comfortable with the way it is raised by those from whom I purchase it. I'm very bothered. I have a close Muslim friend, but her family is extremely respectful of our choices as we are of theirs. I thought I had a few more years before dealing with this type of peer pressure. He's only five. I'm afraid that I am only seeing the tip of the iceberg and that ds is being led to believe that he is a lesser individual because he does not adhere to certain religious practices. It hurts me deeply to think that he believes I would prepare and encourage him to eat something awful. It hurts me to think that he was bullied into this diet choice and even more to know that for the first time he feels that I have tricked him into doing something wrong. I don't know what to do.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

If he's five, his little friend at school is five, too. :grouphug: Not big enough to bully over food choices or to convert his classmates. I'm surprised you would compare such a little child to your adult friend and find a contrast in their levels of respect. It's not the same thing at all.

 

As to what to do, you could just tell your son that families make decisions about lots of things and his family does not have the same religious beliefs as his friend's, but if he would rather not take pork to school you will only serve it at home. This will be an ongoing conversation, so you can be very matter-of-fact about it.

 

Whether or not he must eat pork at home depends on your parenting style, of course. I'd let him not eat pork if he doesn't want to, but I find food battles go away sooner if I let the dc have some autonomy there. Their reasons don't have to make sense to me, and I don't have to feel judged by them. Just "food for thought." :)

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

That would annoy the crud out of me.  It's not uncommon for kids to get ideas from other kids, but to be threatened over it, no that would not make me happy.  I know what I'd do in my own home.  I'd continue about my business and talk to my kid.  At school?  Not sure what can be done.  If the kid is truly being a bully about it then I would probably talk to the school. 

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

If he's five, his little friend at school is five, too. :grouphug: Not big enough to bully over food choices or to convert his classmates. I'm surprised you would compare such a little child to your adult friend and find a contrast in their levels of respect. It's not the same thing at all.

 

You'd be surprised.  I've encountered some very nasty 5 year olds.  I wouldn't hold them as accountable as an adult no, but I think they certainly can be nasty to others in a way that is very upsetting to their classmates. 

[Katy]

Does he know that bacon is pork?

[Katy]

5 is a little young, but I might use this as an example in discussions about leaders vs followers, religious food beliefs, and bullying.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

You'd be surprised.  I've encountered some very nasty 5 year olds.  I wouldn't hold them as accountable as an adult no, but I think they certainly can be nasty to others in a way that is very upsetting to their classmates. 

 

No, I wouldn't. I taught five year olds in preschools and Sunday schools for years, and have been a parent for almost two decades, so I've met a few snotty kids who intimidate their classmates. But presumably in a school setting there is a teacher or some other authority figure, and presumably the OP's family observes their dietary practices for reasons that they can articulate to their own child, so this is a conversation (or several), not a spiritual crisis or a parenting failure.

[Rosie_0801]

I'd tell mine that the boy at school was being very rude and it is not his business what you eat because he's not the boss, and tell him to tell the kid that he's not the boss!

I'd also go through halal eating, explaining and showing what else was in the fridge and pantry that would be off limits to School Boy, and encourage my kiddie to remember that he doesn't think all of those things are disgusting. 

I might then recommend that next time he comes home and talks to me about it straight away because I'm more grown up than School Boy. :p

[Slartibartfast]

Ugh, my friend's kid got mine to hate mushrooms!

[creekland]

5 is a little young, but I might use this as an example in discussions about leaders vs followers, religious food beliefs, and bullying.

 

We'd be having this discussion too to get him started thinking about it and I'd keep it friendly.  At home I wouldn't be telling him what was pork and what wasn't though.  A five year old isn't really reasoning just yet.  I'd just be serving what we were eating.

 

If he brought it up at mealtime I'd simply remind him about the differences in families/religious beliefs, etc.

[Tanaqui]

Maybe the other boy feels pressured to eat pork, and feels uncomfortable having special attention during meals and whatnot, so has decided to turn it around by acting like it's "sooooo gross". More likely, neither of them has a terribly nuanced view of diet right now.

[EmseB]

I think if anything it's an issue for lunch monitors or teachers at school.  Telling someone else their food is gross or disgusting isn't acceptable behavior from anyone.  We put the kibosh on that sort of thing at about 3-4 years old here.  To me, it's on par with taunting an allergic kid with something he can't eat.  No one should be making fun of or otherwise disparaging anyone else's lunch, especially not regularly enough to make them feel awful about eating a particular food.

 

For home, I 2nd what Rosie said.

 

[toawh]

I'm surprised you would compare such a little child to your adult friend and find a contrast in their levels of respect. It's not the same thing at all.

:)

I'm not meaning to compare the child to my adult friend, but rather the parents' viewpoint. My friend, who also has young kids, has an others may we may not attitude. The idea that no one else should either is new to me. I hadn't anticipated it.

By the way, this kid is sweet and friendly, often invited over, a good friend of my son and I intend to keep it that way. I don't think he is trying to be mean. He has been taught this belief and to feel strongly about it. His friendship is very important to ds as ds is very shy. This is not meant as an attack on this kid!

Regardless, I feel there is a distance between myself and ds that didn't exist before. I want to be close to him again and I'm not sure how.

This has also been an emotional roller coaster week in general.

[Rosie_0801]

Miss Pagan here went road tripping with a Muslim friend and her little kids. While she was in the shops, he declared that he didn't want to be Muslim any more. (This was because he wanted my dd's chicken sandwich :lol: ) Thanks kid, gotta do that when Mum isn't here to deal, don't you? So I told him that it is not the right time to make those kinds of decisions because when you're a kid it is time to learn a lot so you can make the right decisions when you are grown up. My dd piped up with an emphatic "That's True!" If he didn't believe me, he believed her and shortly afterwards his Mum showed up with some lunch for him too. I was glad I'd already had similar conversations with dd, so she could back me up. :lol:

[wapiti]

1.  On a lighter note, if it helps, my ds didn't want to eat pork for a couple years - at around 9-10 y.o. - because his friend didn't want to eat it.  Because of the pigs in Minecraft.  He is a picky eater and I'm not sure how I got him to try bacon finally, but he's cured.

 

2.  Meatballs can be made with beef or turkey.

[Farrar]

I generally tend to assume the best about five year olds, because that's the kind of world I like to live in.

 

So I would assume that probably other kids have been not so nice toward this Muslim kid. It's no fun to have to be different at this age and over-embracing it is one way to deal with it. I would assume he didn't know any better with the threat or is just trying to get an ally and that generally there was no real force behind it.

 

I would talk to my kid about making your own decisions. And then I wouldn't raise any fuss about the pork and eating it or not. Because I don't really care. Children have to eat some vegetables and something with protein, but beyond that, I'm not going to make it a battle. Pork isn't worth it. More bacon for me.

[Seasider]

Remove all the religious implications, and the young friend is simply being rude - as 5yo kids are wont to do. Good manners involve not talking badly about what others have on their plate. Special diet needs can be met without comment.

 

Would be nice if the K teacher could sit with them at lunch and casually guide them in etiquette.

 

When my oldest was about that age, and realized where hamburgers come from, he became a vegetarian. Lasted about a week. OP, if this is something your son feels strongly about, maybe offer him a pb&j entree option on your pork nights. In your shoes, I wouldn't change anything at home, but wouldn't force him to eat the pork, either.

[unsinkable]

1. He is a picky eater and I'm not sure how I got him to try bacon finally, but he's cured.

 

.

Hahahahaha. Cured. Bacon.

[bolt.]

He's just being five. You didn't trick him into anything, and there isn't any "distance between you" -- he didn't know your meatballs were pork, and you didn't know that he wanted to know. You understand that some people think pork is gross, and he understands that there are some people who think pork is fine. It's OK to be different. Difference isn't distance.

 

In my house, a kid would be coached him to ask nicely if he wants to know what kind of meat something is (any time he is curious), but I would not volunteer the information. If he learned something was pork and decided he'd prefer not to eat it, I'd review the procedure for 'if the protein isn't something you want'. For us, if the protein isn't something you want, you wait until the end of the meal for adult help in making yourself an egg in the microwave. You eat the rest of your food, and you refrain from any impolite commentary.

 

Keeping it low-key would allow it to pass when/if he changes his mind, without comment from me. If-ever / whenever he looses interest, he stops bothering to ask what the meat is. If he keeps it up forever, he eats more eggs-for-supper than the rest of you. No big deal either way.

[Anne in CA]

I don't know how many kids are in the OP's son's K class, but I don't know how much you can expect one teacher to handle. It seems a little unfair that this sort of thing is something the teacher should deal with too. I mean, during home school coop we always had a 2 adults to 10 kids ratio. Anything less than that is not proper supervision for 5yo's already, IME. Making the teacher responsible for making kids talk nicely about lunch is not going to fly, I think.

[EmseB]

I don't know how many kids are in the OP's son's K class, but I don't know how much you can expect one teacher to handle. It seems a little unfair that this sort of thing is something the teacher should deal with too. I mean, during home school coop we always had a 2 adults to 10 kids ratio. Anything less than that is not proper supervision for 5yo's already, IME. Making the teacher responsible for making kids talk nicely about lunch is not going to fly, I think.

 

Yeah, but this is a known issue that can be addressed pretty reasonably I would think.  In K there have to be lunch monitors or some adults around, because at that age kids can't open stuff, spill stuff all the time, and generally need help during lunch.  At least IME K'ers aren't left to their own devices at lunch time.  If there was an issue with the other kid getting harassed about having to a eat a special lunch, then that should be addressed too.  It's all just part of growing up and learning basic manners, which is part of Kindy, IMO.

[Kerileanne99]

1. On a lighter note, if it helps, my ds didn't want to eat pork for a couple years - at around 9-10 y.o. - because his friend didn't want to eat it. Because of the pigs in Minecraft. He is a picky eater and I'm not sure how I got him to try bacon finally, but he's cured.

 

2. Meatballs can be made with beef or turkey.

He, he, pun intended?! He's cured because he tried the bacon?

 

ETA: I see Unsinkable beat me to it:)

[Dory]

I've had to have discussions with my kids over this same thing but from the other side of it. We do eat pork and 4-5 year old's are not so great at keeping their beliefs and opinions to themselves. It's when I really had to start teaching them that people choose different things and different beliefs and behaviours and that's ok. The world would be boring if everyone saw it from the same view.

 

Sorry your son is on the receiving end of this. If it helps, beef meatballs taste pretty great.

[MotherGoose]

"Did you know that bacon is pork, and if you don't eat pork, you can't eat bacon?" Would be enough to cure my 5 yo. :) In all seriousness, though, I think you/teacher/etc should approach it, because 5 year olds are too young to make a decison about their diets based on anything scientific or religious, in a polite/rude dichotomy. A child eats what his or her parents eat, and you shouldn't say anyone's food is yucky. Saying someone's food is yucky is rude. If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all. This is a close friend of your child's; I'd say something along the lines of, "Friend's family does not eat pork. That's what they choose, and that's okay. We choose to eat pork, and that's also okay. People get to choose what they eat." Depending on your religious background, I might say, "We are ___. Our God/Bible/preacher/priest etc. says it's okay to eat pork. Friend's says not to eat pork. We believe different things about pork but you can still be friends."

I do not make my 5 yo special meals based on her whims. If I did, my entire life would be focused around feeding her. If my 5 yo decides not to eat something I serve, then she goes hungry. I'm mean like that. (My 5 yo is neurotypical and eats most things except on days when she decides she doesn't want to. It's not much of an issue most of the time.)

[bolt.]

I've really not found cracking, stirring, and microwaving an egg or two to be too much trouble -- certainly not enough trouble to consume my life or make me feel like I'm cooking separate meals. So it works for me to use that as a substitute protein. I also allow bread to sub for any starch, carrots as a sub for any veg, and apple as a sub for any fruit. (Of those, only the egg requires and preparation at all, and it takes less than a minute, and I only have to help with it until about 7yo.)

 

I think this approach supports the life skill of children growing up to choose a healthy diet that is within their tastes, focusing on food groups for substituting, and encouraging whole food choices that are low-prep.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I've really not found cracking, stirring, and microwaving an egg or two to be too much trouble -- certainly not enough trouble to consume my life or make me feel like I'm cooking separate meals. So it works for me to use that as a substitute protein. I also allow bread to sub for any starch, carrots as a sub for any veg, and apple as a sub for any fruit. (Of those, only the egg requires and preparation at all, and it takes less than a minute, and I only have to help with it until about 7yo.)

 

I think this approach supports the life skill of children growing up to choose a healthy diet that is within their tastes, focusing on food groups for substituting, and encouraging whole food choices that are low-prep.

 

Do you eat pork?

 

Odd question, but I'm trying to understand this post. 

[Jasperstone]

LOL...me thinks, you posted on the wrong thread????

 

 

 

I've really not found cracking, stirring, and microwaving an egg or two to be too much trouble -- certainly not enough trouble to consume my life or make me feel like I'm cooking separate meals. So it works for me to use that as a substitute protein. I also allow bread to sub for any starch, carrots as a sub for any veg, and apple as a sub for any fruit. (Of those, only the egg requires and preparation at all, and it takes less than a minute, and I only have to help with it until about 7yo.)

 

 

 

I think this approach supports the life skill of children growing up to choose a healthy diet that is within their tastes, focusing on food groups for substituting, and encouraging whole food choices that are low-prep.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

No, bolt's got the right thread; she's responding to the poster who said she wouldn't accommodate a child's dietary whims b/c then she'd not have time to be anything more than a short order cook. Bolt's saying that allowing a choice or two, within reasonable parameters, does not turn the home kitchen into a diner and it's no big deal to let a kid have a choice or two.

[Farrar]

You know, I'll bet the distance the OP feels is really as much about a kid growing up as anything. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

The issue isn't preferences.  The issue is peer pressure.  The issue is the kid is refusing because his 5 year old classmate said it's baaaad if he eats pork.  No...I do not accommodate that sort of thing.  And trust me, this is absolutely not about me forcing my kids to eat no matter what and tough luck.  I'm actually probably too soft in that department.

 

Some of the comments feel like an underhanded jab.  Kinda like if I went into a vegan recipe thread and said hey it's not a big deal if you just crumble some bacon on top if your kid heard how awesome bacon is.

 

 

[Joker]

My oldest dd decided at four that she didn't want to eat any meat. I went along with it and it wasn't that big of a deal. A few years later she decided she wanted chicken and then she started eating fish. She still doesn't eat pork and it's been 11 years. She ate it once to be polite at a friends house and became very ill. She eats very little red meat and that's only when she is seriously craving steak (the only red meat she will eat and she only eats it every now and then). Don't create a divide where there doesn't need to be one. It wasn't difficult and it didn't make meal times longer or harder to serve her no or limited meat at times. :grouphug:

[idnib]

. 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

It doesn't sound like the wrong thread. It sounds like she's saying if OP cooks pork and DS won't eat it, it's very easy to sub an egg for the protein.

 

But why would she do that?  Because his classmate told him so?

[Joker]

But why would she do that?  Because his classmate told him so?

 

Maybe things the classmate said made him think about things differently. I have no idea but I wouldn't brush it off. I don't understand letting a child go hungry or trying to make them eat something they don't want to for no good reason (and I love all meat and it eat it daily). What is the reason for forcing it? To prove what point? My dd decided at four and I respected it. Now, at 15 she eats some meat but not all. It's really not that big of a deal to accommodate someone in your home who doesn't eat meat.

[umsami]

My 4 year old came home and only wanted hot dogs for his lunch and dinner because that's what his best friend Michael has at school.  I simply said, "Well, that's nice, and I'll try and buy some for your lunch sometime, but we're not eating hot dogs every night...sorry."

 

I would look it as your son is trying to support his friend at school.  So, I would probably approach it from the standpoint of, "It's great that you want to support XYZ at school.  It must be hard to be the only kid who doesn't eat pork.  But at home, we do eat pork because our religion allows it.  So, when I have xyz...I either expect you to eat it, decline politely, or make yourself a PB&J. (depending on how your family handles food.)"

 

The less of a big deal you make of it, my guess is the less of a big deal it will be.

 

Yes, you can find turkey bacon....but it's far more difficult to find no-pork marshmallows or Jell-O, if he likes those. :)  Also, Lucky Charms are definitely not halal.  So, Rosie's idea may work as well.

 

My now 11 year old went through a vegetarian phase.  We respected that, and it slowly receded...although had he stayed vegetarian that would have been fine with me.  I guess for me, allowing some autonomy for food choices isn't a big deal.  I don't like seafood, yet I grew up in a seafood loving family.  

[SparklyUnicorn]

Maybe things the classmate said made him think about things differently. I have no idea but I wouldn't brush it off. I don't understand letting a child go hungry or trying to make them eat something they don't want to for no good reason (and I love all meat and it eat it daily). What is the reason for forcing it? To prove what point? My dd decided at four and I respected it. Now, at 15 she eats some meat but not all. It's really not that big of a deal to accommodate someone in your home who doesn't eat meat.

 

I would never brush it off.  I would never make a kid go hungry.  I would not force it.  But I would be having a serious talk about how taking advice from just anyone isn't good.

 

I guess I don't want my kids taking advice from 5 year olds.  This particular advice might not feel outrageous to you, but it feels outrageous to me.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I have a dancing bacon as my signature so this is a sore spot for me.  LOL

 

But no seriously if I went with whatever my kid said and believed at 5...well I think he would have been living on a diet of Skittles, wearing only tutus, and riding a motorcycle because he wanted one so badly for xmas that year he cried.

 

This is not to say I dismissed him with "that's stupid" or "I said so" but really now kids hear something at that age and they go with it if the speaker is entertaining enough. 

 

 

[Joker]

I guess that could definitely be where some of us differ. My dds aren't that easily influenced by their peers. Her no meat thing was probably brought on by something someone said but she was the one who made the decision and since it lasted several years (even while home schooled) I don't think it was a whim. They've always eaten healthy foods and never been that outrageous with their desires. It never seemed difficult to give in to her food preferences.

[Catwoman]

The issue isn't preferences. The issue is peer pressure. The issue is the kid is refusing because his 5 year old classmate said it's baaaad if he eats pork. No...I do not accommodate that sort of thing. And trust me, this is absolutely not about me forcing my kids to eat no matter what and tough luck. I'm actually probably too soft in that department.

 

Some of the comments feel like an underhanded jab. Kinda like if I went into a vegan recipe thread and said hey it's not a big deal if you just crumble some bacon on top if your kid heard how awesome bacon is.

:iagree:

 

If the kid never liked pork, that would be fine. The issue here seems to be that he is being overly influenced by another 5yo, and that's what I view as being the problem.

 

I wouldn't want my kid to already be a follower at only 5 years old. It's nice to be supportive of a friend, but if the "friend" is basically blackmailing the OP's son ("I won't be your friend if you eat pork,") I would be suggesting to my child that he find another friend. I also strongly oppose children making religion an issue in a friendship. Kids shouldn't be preaching to other kids.

 

In my mind, it's not about the pork.

[Joker]

:iagree:

 

If the kid never liked pork, that would be fine. The issue here seems to be that he is being overly influenced by another 5yo, and that's what I view as being the problem.

 

I wouldn't want my kid to already be a follower at only 5 years old. It's nice to be supportive of a friend, but if the "friend" is basically blackmailing the OP's son ("I won't be your friend if you eat pork,") I would be suggesting to my child that he find another friend. I also strongly oppose children making religion an issue in a friendship. Kids shouldn't be preaching to other kids.

 

In my mind, it's not about the pork.

 

I don't think this was stated anywhere. Did I miss something? The OP said he had said it was disgusting. My own dd used to say how disgusting the vegetables that were served in school lunches were and she refused to eat them. So far (at least by what I've read) they seem to be normal five year olds talking about school food.

[Dory]

:iagree:

 

If the kid never liked pork, that would be fine. The issue here seems to be that he is being overly influenced by another 5yo, and that's what I view as being the problem.

 

I wouldn't want my kid to already be a follower at only 5 years old. It's nice to be supportive of a friend, but if the "friend" is basically blackmailing the OP's son ("I won't be your friend if you eat pork,") I would be suggesting to my child that he find another friend. I also strongly oppose children making religion an issue in a friendship. Kids shouldn't be preaching to other kids.

 

In my mind, it's not about the pork.

 

at that age, my mild natured kid was just naturally a follower. He hadn't developed a backbone yet. That's normal. My super assertive girl was very black and while and believed that if something was right, then it should be right for everyone, and if it wasn't right for everyone, then it must be wrong.

 

These kids are 5 not 15. Kids at 5 preach to other kids. They haven't developed the best filters yet. Kids at 5 are still figuring out what can make or break a friendship. If one kids household has very strongly valued religious beliefs, then a kid might see those as something to base a friendship off of. They are just figuring it out.

 

I had a follower at that age. He isn't now.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I don't think this was stated anywhere. Did I miss something? The OP said he had said it was disgusting. My own dd used to say how disgusting the vegetables that were served in school lunches were and she refused to eat them. So far (at least by what I've read) they seem to be normal five year olds talking about school food.

 

Replace pork with something else.  For example, what if your kid's classmate told your kid that believing in god is disgusting.  Then your kid declares he finds that disgusting too.

So he decides he doesn't think he should go to church anymore.  Do you accommodate that?

[Catwoman]

I don't think this was stated anywhere. Did I miss something? The OP said he had said it was disgusting. My own dd used to say how disgusting the vegetables that were served in school lunches were and she refused to eat them. So far (at least by what I've read) they seem to be normal five year olds talking about school food.

The OP specifically stated that the friendship was threatened if her ds continued to eat pork.

[SparklyUnicorn]

at that age, my mild natured kid was just naturally a follower. He hadn't developed a backbone yet. That's normal. My super assertive girl was very black and while and believed that if something was right, then it should be right for everyone, and if it wasn't right for everyone, then it must be wrong.

 

These kids are 5 not 15. Kids at 5 preach to other kids. They haven't developed the best filters yet. Kids at 5 are still figuring out what can make or break a friendship. If one kids household has very strongly valued religious beliefs, then a kid might see those as something to base a friendship off of. They are just figuring it out.

 

I had a follower at that age. He isn't now.

 

Reminds me when I talked stranger danger with my kids.  "So if some nice looking guy asks if you want free candy what do you do?"  Get some candy Mom!!!...Hellooo Mom...Free candy!! Duh!!

[Catwoman]

at that age, my mild natured kid was just naturally a follower. He hadn't developed a backbone yet. That's normal. My super assertive girl was very black and while and believed that if something was right, then it should be right for everyone, and if it wasn't right for everyone, then it must be wrong.

 

These kids are 5 not 15. Kids at 5 preach to other kids. They haven't developed the best filters yet. Kids at 5 are still figuring out what can make or break a friendship. If one kids household has very strongly valued religious beliefs, then a kid might see those as something to base a friendship off of. They are just figuring it out.

 

I had a follower at that age. He isn't now.

I think we will have to agree to disagree on this one. :)

[Catwoman]

Reminds me when I talked stranger danger with my kids. "So if some nice looking guy asks if you want free candy what do you do?" Get some candy Mom!!!...Hellooo Mom...Free candy!! Duh!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Joker]

Replace pork with something else.  For example, what if your kid's classmate told your kid that believing in god is disgusting.  Then your kid declares he finds that disgusting too.

So he decides he doesn't think he should go to church anymore.  Do you accommodate that?

 

Yes. We're in the process of becoming Catholic and we've told our dds, 13 and 15, since the beginning (a two year process) they don't have to go through with it or go to church. Oldest is in a school that is the most diverse we've ever been a part of and many of them are not religious. They both have friends of many different religious, and non religious, backgrounds. They both choose to continue to go to church so far. If they choose not to go, we will allow it as we've always told them.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yes. We're in the process of becoming Catholic and we've told our dds, 13 and 15, since the beginning (a two year process) they don't have to go through with it or go to church. Oldest is in a school that is the most diverse we've ever been a part of and many of them are not religious. They both have friends of many different religious, and non religious, backgrounds. They both choose to continue to go to church so far. If they choose not to go, we will allow it as we've always told them.

 

Do you really think this is comparable?

[Catwoman]

Yes. We're in the process of becoming Catholic and we've told our dds, 13 and 15, since the beginning (a two year process) they don't have to go through with it or go to church. Oldest is in a school that is the most diverse we've ever been a part of and many of them are not religious. They both have friends of many different religious, and non religious, backgrounds. They both choose to continue to go to church so far. If they choose not to go, we will allow it as we've always told them.

That makes sense. :)

 

The impression I'm getting from the OP though, is that this 5yo kid doesn't eat pork for religious reasons, and he ridicules the kids who do eat pork, and has expressed to the OP's son that he won't be friends with him any more if he continues to eat pork.

 

That's one pushy 5 year-old.

[Joker]

Do you really think this is comparable?

 

You are the one that brought up the comparison. My dh is an atheist so they both know they will be loved and accepted no matter their choice.