Married last name poll

[PinkInTheBlue]

Well, I took my husband's last name because it's such a tradition in my area of the world and I was so in love that I couldn't wait to have his name. :) I'm still so in love but thinking more logically I think it's really a ridiculous tradition. Why should the woman give up her name and family and even, one could argue, her identity? When I think about it from a distance it seems really silly to me and unfair.

 

However, there would have been two problems. I didn't like my maiden name because I don't like my father. I definitely wouldn't want to keep that and since I was divorced in the far past, I definitely didn't want to keep that name! So, really, his name was my best option and I'm glad for it. Other problem would have been naming the children. I also don't think it's "fair" that they get his name. What about caring on my family name?

 

Ah, it doesn't really matter because I wouldn't want to have any of my previous names and I actually like my name now. I still think it's a bit silly and archaic. :) But that's just me.:D

[ekarl2]

Dh wasn't going to take my name and I didn't want to take his ( I like mine, it's old English meaning 'fairies of the dell'- his just means 'barrel maker'!).

 

I don't mind the whole hyphen thing, its a kind of solution, but what happens to the children? I didn't give my kids hyphenated names because I cant see how that works for their children or grandchildren. It's a one generation kind of solution. So they might be called Kid Smith-Jones, what happens when Kid Smith-Jones meets other Kid Brown-Black? It gets ridiculous. So the kids got Dh's surname, and I am the odd one out. My SIL is Belgian and she says that is normal over there- the woman keeps her surname, the kids take on the father's.

 

 

I was thinking this while watching the Olympics. The US had two male swimmers with hypenated last names. So if one marries a girl who wants to hyphenate, does she have to use all three or get her pick of which of his two she likes best? LOL.

 

My sister talked her xh into legally changing his last name to his mother's maiden name when they married. His last name was something like Wozlowski or something. He changed it to Beckett and my sister took that last name. Beckett rolls off the tongue much better. In fact, she's kept the name since their divorce because she just likes it better than her maiden name.

[HRAAB]

I took his name because it seemed like the thing to do. Twenty-three years later, I wish I had kept my name. I miss it and think about using it again especially now that my parents are gone. My dh wouldn't have cared, and in fact supports our daughters when they say they want to keep their name.

 

My niece and her dh combined their names together.

 

Janet

[Mamasteff]

So now, instead of Steff M... C..., I am Steff C... D...

No one uses my middle name anymore, I'm too old for my mom to yell it out the back door.

 

We lived in a country where the children keep their father's name. It was also a very tiny community and not a lot of creativity in names, so if I want to send a package to my former language teacher, I have to add another name - so it doesn't go to my best friend's mom. And I can't remember exactly how that works - it may be that the extra name is the mom's last name

 

(So, Mr. Miller and Mrs. Yoder have kids and they are called Child Miller and Kid Miller. But there is also a Child Miller down the road, how does the post office know to whom the package is sent? It has to be addressed to Child Miller Yoder - but that is the ONLY time mom's last name is used).

[cathmom]

My dh would not have been happy with any other option but me taking his name. Thankfully, I was thrilled to do so. I made my maiden name my middle name, which is what my mom did.

[Mom2boys]

I hyphenated. It made sense to me. I was adding something to my life - my wonderful husband - so I added his name to my name, instead of replacing my name with his. And, my maiden name is a Mennonite name, and I wanted to preserve that part of my heritage since I was marrying a non-Mennonite. My children just have my husband's name. Even though most of my relatives are Mennonite, I am the only one with a hyphenated name.

[Colleen]

We actually have three different situations going on here.

 

1) We were married in Switzerland where the wife's maiden name is assumed to be added after the husband's last name. Families go by the husband's name, for the most part, but because so many people share the same last name, the wife's name is kinda like an identifier. So by Swiss terms, legally, we are the W-S family.

 

2) I didn't legally take Hans's name here in America. I used my maiden name (which is awful, but it seemed so weird to me to just switch names) the first few years of our marriage. Legal documents, like our taxes, are filed using our different last names, Hans W and Colleen S.

 

3) I now use my married name. After having a couple of children, it made more sense to me go this route and have one family name. Our farm is incorporated using just the W name.

 

So legally, I am two people. But in both cases, there is only one of me on the planet, as far as I know. There is only one Colleen S and one Colleen W and we are one and the same.:D

[AndyJoy]

I took my husband's last name, but I do have to admit that I enjoy the fact that my married name and maiden name start with the same letter, so I didn't have to change my initials. My mom's maiden name also starts with this letter, so she didn't have to change initials either!

[chaik76]

I took my husband's last name. It was my third last name (and I hadn't been married before). One of the neatest last names I ever knew about was used by a couple who completely threw out both their last names and chose a new last name with a special meaning...it had absolutely no relationship to their old names.

[teamturner]

I'm a traditional kind of gal so I took my dh last name. Plus, my maiden name was always mispronounced and mispelled. I couldn't wait to lose that name, LOL! Now my last name is an plain and ordinary as they come. Everyone can spell dh's last name although when I was first married, I kept spelling it for people since it had become such an ingrained habit. :D

[Reya]

I had to pick other. My husband kept his last name. I kept mine and took his, but with no hyphen. Informally, I only use his. On anything legal, I have both. All of our children have both last names, no hyphen. They generally only use my husband's last name as well.

 

Me, too! This was somewhat accidental, as I wanted my last name to be my middle name, and his last name to be my last name, but...by the time I got around to going to the SS admin office to get it changed, I was 3 mo pregnant. (Yeah, yeah, I know--I'm sloooow.) And the woman behind the counter was a first-gen Mexican immigrant and flipped out at the idea and INSISTED that I had to have my last name as a last name or drop it entirely. I was too darned tired to fight her, so I let her have her way--and it has caused such a MESS! First, my last name is now too long for lots of forms to handle--and it's not like either name is long alone!

 

And second, the IRS' system barfed over having a space in my last name and I had to go through 20 hoops about taxes the first year I filed with DH because I put my name first (I do all the financial stuff 'cuz DH won't--I hate it, but at least it gets done...).

 

It's also been a problem with drivers' licenses in both MD and NM. Gah!

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

I took my husband's last name.

 

Just out of curiosity-what is going to happen when the children of parents with hyphenated names marry each other or worse their children? There isn't a form made that can handle that name... Will this help genealogy hobbyists or make their lives a nightmare? Honestly, I am curious (no sarcasm intended), I don't have this hobby so I can't help but wonder what will happen.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

I did this too!!

 

Anne

 

We all have my dh's last name.

 

My oldest ds has the same middle and last name as his father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and great-great grandfather.

 

My youngest has my maiden name as his middle name.

 

I think it's nice to have some links to our past in our names.

 

K

[Carrie12345]

I considered keeping my name. Dh's is weird. ;)

 

My 10 year old has a different last name, and I just figured it would be a pain to put 3 last names in 1 house. Now I kind of feel bad that he's the odd man out. Still, I don't really have much association with my paternal family (other than my sisters who, I assume, will change their names one day), so I guess it would have been silly to keep it.

 

I miss it though.

[Ellie]

I took his name. I dropped my given middle name and use my maiden name as my middle. My sil thought I was weird for doing it this way, but that was the way everyone I knew at the time (except her) did it.

 

This was more common in years past than now, and probably more common in some parts of the country than others.

 

I couldn't have done that, as I use a diminutive form of my middle name, even if I'd heard of it back then, which I had not :-)

[Andie]

I took my husband's last name, but I dropped my first name (I've always been called by my middle name) and have my maiden name as my middle name (so I guess the answer is that dh's last name is my last name). I only use my full name on legal documents, but I like having it there. My mom did the same thing.

 

 

I didn't drop my first name, but I took dh's name and kept my maiden as my middle, too. I like having it there, especially as the-dad-whose-name-it-is has no sons, just me. (I have another dad, but he has a son to carry on his name).

 

Now I'm wishing I'd dropped my first name, Melora. I've always hated it and would much rather be my now lost in space birth middle name. :)

[Just Me]

I took his name. I dropped my given middle name and use my maiden name as my middle. My sil thought I was weird for doing it this way, but that was the way everyone I knew at the time (except her) did it.

 

Interesting thread.

 

Melissa

 

This is what I did, and what is common for everyone I know around these parts! I did have a professor (male) in college who added his wife's name to his last name. He was very interested in equality, and felt that it wasn't fair to ask her to make the changes. So he was Dr. Smith Jones, although his real name was much harder to pronounce, especially since both names were difficult. So he allowed everyone to call him Dr. H.B.

 

It has been interesting to see what other women do. My Brother-in-law has been married three times, and all three wives have done something different with their names.

[susie in tx]

I changed my middle name. I added my maiden name as my second maiden name. When I sign my name for legal documents, I have two middle initials separated by a space. It's C S and I don't use periods after the initials.

 

The state of Texas is very confused about my name. I believe they think that my maiden name is my first last name. I'm sure I'll need to figure that out one of these days, probably when I go to renew my driver's license.

 

For tax purposes, if I want to file electronically, I have to use my maiden name as my first last name.

 

I go by dh's last name, but I didn't want to. I liked my maiden name and would have gladly kept it. Even though my dh has a name that is supposedly easier to spell and say, I get just as many questions about how to spell it and say it as I did with my very German maiden name.

[mysticamethyst]

I took dh last name. I was a huge step up in last names, this one never gets mispronounced, spelled wrong mabye, but not mispronounced. I hated going out to dinner as a child and would cringe when the hostess would call our name and it was always, everytime, mispronounced. I know it seems silly but I really hated my last name.

[kristavws]

I proudly took my dh's last name.

 

Krista

[momofkhm]

The Southern thing is to drop your middle name, move your last name to your middle name and then tack dh's last name on the end.

 

What I did was keep it all and and dh's last name to the end. BUT my family of orginal last name is now a middle name, so I have 2 middles. So from your example it is Cheryl Lynn Yoder Miller. But to write it just first and last - Cheryl Miller. With initials it's Cheryl L.Y. Miller. Most people don't even know the "Yoder" is still there.

[Diana in OR]

My maiden name was "Smith". I didn't mind exchanging that for dh's name.:)

[JoyfulMama]

Took my maiden name on as a second middle name. Use my middle two initials professionally...so I became Angela MH Jones

 

Angela

:iagree: That's what I use, too! (Although with my own name...)

I went round and round before getting married - I was already working, trying to make my community connections, and going back to grad school. My MIL recommended eliminating my middle name (but I LOVE it - Joy) and replacing it with my maiden name, as she had done. One of my mentors had a hyphenated name, and she discouraged it. So I changed my last name, but wasn't thrilled (because I am so into family history). Ultimately, I wanted our kids to have one name.

A few years ago, I realized that I really missed having my middle name as part of my name, so I started using two initials. Makes me happy - DH is glad I am finally happy!

[shalom22]

I took my dh's last name. My maiden name is German and difficult for people to spell, so I was always having to spell it out for everyone. My dh's last name is so simple, only 3 letters long. I thought "yea! I will never have to spell my last name again." Wrong! It is too simple, I still have to spell it out, but at least it is only 3 letters long.:D

[kokotg]

 

Just out of curiosity-what is going to happen when the children of parents with hyphenated names marry each other or worse their children?

 

That's up to them. They have all the options, so they can do whatever they want. My 7 year old has already dropped his first last name (i.e. my name) when he talks about himself or writes his name. That's perfectly fine with me. When they grow up, they can use one or both or something new altogether, and do the same for their kids. That's one of the reasons we left the hyphen out (the other is I just don't like them, aesthetically); it makes the names seem more detachable. I'll be very surprised if they grow up, get married, and decide to use three or four last names on a daily basis. But I guess stranger things have happened.

[TravelingChris]

I kept my name and dh kept his. The kids all have first name, first middle name, second middle name (husband's last name) and then last name (mine). It hasn't caused problems at all and none of us wanted to hyphenate our quite long last names. Most people don't question it. I do not like the practice of my local homeschool group that wants the kids to callme Mrs. Last Name. I am not a Mrs. even though I am a Christian and a conservative. I am a Ms. Last Name since I am not married to my deceased father.

[TN Mama]

I took his name. I dropped my given middle name and use my maiden name as my middle. My sil thought I was weird for doing it this way, but that was the way everyone I knew at the time (except her) did it.

 

Interesting thread.

 

Melissa

 

 

For the longest time I didn't know that some people chose to drop their maiden and keep their middle. I dropped my middle, kept my maiden & took my husband's last name.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I did a Hillary thing - I went by first name, maiden name, last name for a while after we got married, but only for professional reasons. In my personal life, I fully took dh's name. Since I have been a sahm, I no longer use the maiden name other than the middle initial on my signature.

[Tracey in TX]

I took DH's very long, very Italian last name.

I am Tracey middle-middle-maiden DH's name

It takes forever to sign legal documents!