lynn Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 His ps friends are posting about 8th grade graduation and end of year dance. He's feeling that he's missing out and asked why I chose to hs. We did some neat things over the past 2 years that his s friends did not but I can understand how he feels. I was surprised because he has a couple of friends he sees regularly. Wish I could help more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Time for a co-op perhaps? The ones around here have prom/harvest dances (and others), get togethers, field trips, graduation, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Do you have a homeschool group that has those sort of things locally? I believe there are at least 3 in my area that offer such events-and some will open them to any homeschooler who is willing to pay for them, not just people who participated in their activities (honestly, I think one just does a couple of dances and graduations for K, 8th, and 12th grades). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Time for a co-op perhaps? The ones around here have prom/harvest dances (and others), get togethers, field trips, graduation, etc. :iagree: My 13 year old is having a blast right with peer groups both through a teen homeschool co-op and through other things like theater. He has ZERO interest in attending school because he feel he'd have LESS time for the fun stuff. If this kid did not have good social outlets, I probably would need to send him to school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 He's in 8th grade. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Same suggestion as the others. Our local co-ops often come together for these things and host graduations, proms, etc. Hugs to your boy :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in OR Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Why not just offer him the chance for his own grad party with whoever he'd like to invite? It's an event—mark it without having to sit through an interminable graduation assembly. What does he like to do? Hang out with friends at home with BBQ and cake? Head out somewhere for laser tag? An incredible hike? Erica in OR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 8th grade graduation is a thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Definitely consider your own party, he could hold his own 'graduation' BBQ type event with his friends I also would help him to see all the great things he has done this year, or gotten to do because of homeschooling that his friends didn't do, and explain that we can never have everything. Sometimes we have to choose the best for us but we will miss out on other things because of it. It's hard to understand at that age though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Above The Rowan Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 8th grade graduation is a thing? It's a huge thing up here. Girls graduating 8th grade have more formal gowns than I did at my senior prom. Limos, elaborate dances, it's nuts here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 It's a huge thing up here. Girls graduating 8th grade have more formal gowns than I did at my senior prom. Limos, elaborate dances, it's nuts here. That's a bit out of control. The middle school here has an eighth grade dance. That's it. Kids dress up a little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magic Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 They do 8th grade continuation here. Our eldest attended public school and went to the ceremony and dance. Our second son is homeschooled so we asked him what he wanted to do to mark his moving into high school. He chose for us to go out to a nice dinner with our family and my in-laws. We gave him a small gift and he had friends over for a sleepover. Next year our third son will choose what he wants to do for his continuation since he is also homeschooled. We try to make it special for each of our kids since it is such a big deal in our community and we want our kids to feel celebrated as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Above The Rowan Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 That's a bit out of control. The middle school here has an eighth grade dance. That's it. Kids dress up a little. Yeah when I graduated 8th grade we had a dressy dance. Now it's definitely out of control. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I never even graduated eighth grade, and I don't recall a dance until high school. I would let your guy have a party at your house. Heck, call it a graduation dance. Invite everyone he wants. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I'm always interested in this stuff. When I finished eighth grade, we had a graduation ceremony. Everyone was encouraged to dress up, and I have a photo of myself with my friends, all of us in our long gowns, that I cherish. Families went out to nice dinners. Since my boyfriend at the time attended a different school, I got dressed up and went to his graduation, and then his parents took us all out to the nicest place in town. We also had lots of dances in junior high school. They weren't formal, prom-like affairs, just dimmed lights and a teacher playing DJ in the all-purpose room. But I have very fond memories of those events. For what it's worth, I don't think it really matters whether those of us here might think that graduation ceremonies and dances for eighth grade are too much or over the top. The OP's son is watching his friends enjoy celebrations and feeling left out. An individual family might think that the specific customs in an area are not appropriate, but I doubt that king of high-level judgement matters to a kid who is wistful about missing fun with his friends. Perhaps because I do have good memories of those occasions spent with my friends at that stage of my life, I am sympathetic to your son's feelings. I do, in general, think that parents who choose to homeschool should try to be respectful of our kids opinions and needs and do our best to provide, if not equivalent experiences, at least placeholders for traditional ceremonies and opportunities for recognition for kids to whom they are important. Obviously, some don't care and don't feel like they are missing out, but I would listen to a child of mine who did care. If it were me, I would sit down with my kiddo tomorrow and plan something for him. It doesn't have to be "graduation," but I would let him choose something reasonable that would allow him to have a special time with his friends to mark this transition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I agree, let him have a special party of his own and invite whomever he wants. FWIW, I have no recollection whatsoever of any formal school party/dance celebrating the end of 8th grade or moving on to High School. I did have a huge joint party with my brother that summer at a put put golf/race care place because we were moving out of state. All our local family, friends and neighbors came to celebrate our birthdays/Christmas/etc. before we left town. That was WAY more fun than a formal dance for me. We had a blast. Edited to add: I agree that the issue here is not whether kids should have formal graduation ceremonies/dances at the end of 8th grade, but what the OP can do to help her own child over the heartache of seeing friends and peers celebrating when he isn't. And I am sorry he is having to deal with this. Hugs, OP. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateReignRemix Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I'm always interested in this stuff. When I finished eighth grade, we had a graduation ceremony. Everyone was encouraged to dress up, and I have a photo of myself with my friends, all of us in our long gowns, that I cherish. Families went out to nice dinners. Since my boyfriend at the time attended a different school, I got dressed up and went to his graduation, and then his parents took us all out to the nicest place in town. We also had lots of dances in junior high school. They weren't formal, prom-like affairs, just dimmed lights and a teacher playing DJ in the all-purpose room. But I have very fond memories of those events. For what it's worth, I don't think it really matters whether those of us here might think that graduation ceremonies and dances for eighth grade are too much or over the top. The OP's son is watching his friends enjoy celebrations and feeling left out. An individual family might think that the specific customs in an area are not appropriate, but I doubt that king of high-level judgement matters to a kid who is wistful about missing fun with his friends. Perhaps because I do have good memories of those occasions spent with my friends at that stage of my life, I am sympathetic to your son's feelings. I do, in general, think that parents who choose to homeschool should try to be respectful of our kids opinions and needs and do our best to provide, if not equivalent experiences, at least placeholders for traditional ceremonies and opportunities for recognition for kids to whom they are important. Obviously, some don't care and don't feel like they are missing out, but I would listen to a child of mine who did care. If it were me, I would sit down with my kiddo tomorrow and plan something for him. It doesn't have to be "graduation," but I would let him choose something reasonable that would allow him to have a special time with his friends to mark this transition. All of this. Great post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Here they have an 8th grade banquet with awards and a dance. The 8th graders do take a big trip to Universal Studios as well. Dd is super excited since she is in ps and gets to do these things. It's important to her and her friends and I remember my big trip to Six Flags being important to me in 8th grade. One of the reasons my dds are in ps is because there is not a lot here for them in the way of home school groups or co-ops, so I would try to do something with your dc's friends to make it special. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I've never heard of a big formal style dance for eighth grade! That's a bit... um... okay. When I was a kid, middle school "graduation" was just the afternoon of the last day of school in the gym. Very perfunctory. No dance outside the general school dance that most kids didn't attend. The school where I taught middle school had a very moving graduation, but it was a called Meeting for Worship since it was a Quaker school. It was a big deal, but in a very quiet way... um, literally and figuratively. In general, I think you make your own ritual. Good luck finding a way to do that. Or a co-op with fancy dance parties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Let him have an "End of of 8th Grade" party. It can be a movie night, game night, water guns in the backyard, anything. Serve fruit, hot dogs, chips, and sodas. Homeschool proms abound, so let him attend one next year. Dd has been to them over the years and brings a ps friend who was/is astounded at how much fun they are. According to dd's friend, homeschoolers' proms are 'way more fun' than ps proms. Just sayin'. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 I was so glad my kids weren't part of that formal 8th grade dance!! haha Do you think it's just that particular event that triggered those thoughts with your son, and not necessarily a year-long feeling? If so, can you plan something really, really fun for that same night? Bring him and a couple hs buddies to a hotel with a pool, or out for a movie and pizza? I know that when my own kids heard about stuff like that, they would sometimes think it sounded fun and wished they could be part of it. We would continually try and vamp up fun, age-appropriate activities for our kids and their hs buddies as they got older. In hindsite, my kids don't feel that they missed out on anything. I found that as our son in particular got to be that age, projects/hobbies/activities with my husband became more important. (But a mom could certainly play that role too.) Also, helping him find hobbies/activities that he is really interested in and then figuring out ways to help him along with those will help him take his mind off of what he CAN'T do. And of course co-ops are another option. (We didn't have those in our area.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 It doesn't need to be a co-op with classes and whatnot; we have never done co-ops, but we are in a couple of h/s groups that offer activities to the teens. If there aren't groups near you, or they don't offer good teen stuff, jump in there and start something! It can take a while to get things going, so now is a good time to begin. I agree that offering him an alternative celebration is a good idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Travel. Go camp at a national park - from Tuesday to Friday. Play lazrtag for PE one day. Find a movie matinee and go weekly. Let him sleep in tomorrow and have breakfast in bed. Let him stay up until midnight some weekday. Homeschooling is cool. Give him something to talk about that's cool to a tween boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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