JAWM: My friend's new health food craze is ruining my Christmas!!!

[stripe]

I don't see why eating healthy means getting rid of the old favorites. This is where Cooking Light does well, I think -- making things like pumpkin pie or banana bread that are a bit healthier but still taste good.

[Guest]

She agreed to let me bring a chicken and some mashed potatoes. I have decided I am bringing a real dessert too and I will just play innocent. ;)

You asked to bring ham and she "let you" bring chicken?!?

 

Just agree with you...just agree with you...just agree with you.....

 

Wishing you guys a great Christmas, Heather. Sorry you are dealing with this. You are a better friend than I am.

[RoundAbout]

As someone who is eating an extreme diet ( High fat, low carb), I find her attitude incredibly rude. We hosted Thanksgiving this year at a relatives house but DH and I made sure traditional favorites like cranberry sauce, stuffing, and mashed potatoes were on the table even though we did not partake. We asked our guests to bring dessert or any other special carby food they wanted. We made sure there were a ton of veggies including some that the kids would eat (we had brussel sprouts but also broccoli, green beans, corn, salad, etc.).

 

I definitely appreciate the desire to stick to a healthy diet, but its not that hard for a host to find a middle ground. I would show up with some of your own stuff or prepare a real Christmas dinner a home.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It may be that she has a lot of trigger foods (including ham) and is restricting things because of her own weakness and not because of a controlling nature.  Still rude but perhaps a bit understandable if it is something that has significant impact on her health or well-being.  I have no idea if that is the case but I'm trying to see it from her side.  I have trigger foods etc. too but wouldn't put those restrictions on others but then my triggers only cause me to fall off the wagon for one meal and then I can go back to eating healthily.  

[marbel]

It may be that she has a lot of trigger foods (including ham) and is restricting things because of her own weakness and not because of a controlling nature.  Still rude but perhaps a bit understandable if it is something that has significant impact on her health or well-being.  I have no idea if that is the case but I'm trying to see it from her side.  I have trigger foods etc. too but wouldn't put those restrictions on others but then my triggers only cause me to fall off the wagon for one meal and then I can go back to eating healthily.  

 

That is a good point.  But that's where communication comes in, particularly among close friends.  Instead of dictating the menu, she could/should have been more communicative about it.  Instead of saying "this is what we're doing" she could have asked for Heather's help and support with the new diet, and figured out some compromises together.  Or, suggested that because of the new diet dinner might not work this year, and make plans for a different get-together.  Traditions do change, among friends.

 

Lots of people we know have various dietary needs. We always want to accommodate them as much as possible.  But we also want to accommodate the folks who don't need special foods.  So, there might be a dessert made with maple syrup instead of cane sugar for our friend who gets exzema from cane products.  There will also be desserts made with sugar!  There are always multiple vegetable dishes offered for vegetarians.  Before she moved away, i tried hard to have something for my kosher-keeping friend.  Etc. Etc. 

 

To me that is part of being a good host:  making all guests comfortable.  I do not have a lot of talents but I do like to cook, and am not afraid to try new things. Looking for new recipes is fun!  So, cooking for people is a delight to me, and I want to make things people can, but also want to, eat.  

[zoobie]

Just so you know... I'm positive that all chicken and mashed potatoes automatically include dessert. ;)

And a ham.

[Alte Veste Academy]

That is a good point. But that's where communication comes in, particularly among close friends.

Right. This is my issue with the whole thing. Good friend with whom I spend every Christmas but she can't (or won't?) discuss her reasons for this giant change that affects both our families... Does not compute.

[idnib]

She agreed to let me bring a chicken and some mashed potatoes. I have decided I am bringing a real dessert too and I will just play innocent. ;)

 

 

Aren't turkeys just really big chickens?  :sneaky2:

[Brilliant]

I guess I should mention that we traditionally take turns hosting it but no matter where the dinner is we split the cooking so I do half and she does half.

 

That's why this new menu is even more surprising. She basically said she is going to cook it all so she can make sure it fits her new food standards and could I just bring the beverages?

 

...

 

That's so rude.  Beyond rude.  No matter how close we were to that family, my family would have to decline to attend this dinner.  (my dh would not attend!)

 

What she should have done was suggest adding some healthier options to the dinner.  Steamed green beans instead of casserole, for example.  Mashed butternut squash which doesn't need all the brown sugar that gets added to sweet potatoes.  But let anybody who still wants ham, and Kings Hawaiian rolls with butter, have it!

 

I'm glad you worked out the compromise of bringing chicken, potatoes, and dessert. :thumbup1:

[Melissa in Australia]

 

.  Mashed butternut squash which doesn't need all the brown sugar that gets added to sweet potatoes. 

 

:scared: I can not imagine adding sugar to sweet potatoes, they are  sweet already.

[PrincessMommy]

It's so good to see she has agreed to compromise.  Enjoy your day together!

[WishboneDawn]

:scared: I can not imagine adding sugar to sweet potatoes, they are sweet already.

I was thinking the same thing. I think it might be an American thing. Apparently they also somehow add marshmallows to the sweet potatoes.

 

They are a strange people. :D

[Cammie]

My sweet potato dish is so sweet it is practically a dessert - no marshmallows but boy is it yummy!!

[Heather in Neverland]

So dinner was good. We brought two roast chickens, a huge bowl of mashed potatoes, and veggies. We also had brownies and cheesecake and Christmas pudding with custard. :)

 

I felt bad, though, because her quinoa sat pretty much untouched.

 

I'm glad it's done and I'm going to bed. Too much stress over one dinner!

[Alessandra]

So dinner was good. We brought two roast chickens, a huge bowl of mashed potatoes, and veggies. We also had brownies and cheesecake and Christmas pudding with custard. :)

 

I felt bad, though, because her quinoa sat pretty much untouched.

 

I'm glad it's done and I'm going to bed. Too much stress over one dinner!

Good for you!

It's morning here and dc are still sleeping.

Merry Christmas!!!

[marbel]

So dinner was good. We brought two roast chickens, a huge bowl of mashed potatoes, and veggies. We also had brownies and cheesecake and Christmas pudding with custard. :)

 

I felt bad, though, because her quinoa sat pretty much untouched.

 

I'm glad it's done and I'm going to bed. Too much stress over one dinner!

 

Unsurprising. 

 

I know there is a place for quinoa and many people like it (I don't - I think it tastes like grass) but for most people it's not on a holiday table. 

 

(I mean the lawn kind.) 

 

Glad you had a good time!

[redsquirrel]

I was thinking the same thing. I think it might be an American thing. Apparently they also somehow add marshmallows to the sweet potatoes.

 

They are a strange people. :D

 

I am an American and I haven't ever seen the marshmallow sweet potato thing. I've heard of it, but never seen it served. It might be a regional dish, maybe southern? I've eaten thanksgiving dinner with a lot of different people in my time and not once seen a marshmallow as part of dinner.

 

The closest I have seen is mashed sweet potato with some maple syrup drizzled on top.

[shukriyya]

So dinner was good. We brought two roast chickens, a huge bowl of mashed potatoes, and veggies. We also had brownies and cheesecake and Christmas pudding with custard. :)

 

I felt bad, though, because her quinoa sat pretty much untouched.

 

I'm glad it's done and I'm going to bed. Too much stress over one dinner!

 

Good to hear it worked out for you. How did your friend react to the food you brought? Was it a nice seamless gathering? I'm guessing her family partook heartily of your offerings?

 

[Heather in Neverland]

Good to hear it worked out for you. How did your friend react to the food you brought? Was it a nice seamless gathering? I'm guessing her family partook heartily of your offerings?

 

It went pretty well. It was a bit awkward at first. I could just tell she wanted this to be a dinner reflecting her new diet plan, but she didn't mention the quinoa or the "healthy" scones nobody touched. Somehow I still end up the one feeling a bit guilty. But it was Christmas and desperate times call for desperate measures! :)

[coffeegal]

I am an American and I haven't ever seen the marshmallow sweet potato thing. I've heard of it, but never seen it served. It might be a regional dish, maybe southern? I've eaten thanksgiving dinner with a lot of different people in my time and not once seen a marshmallow as part of dinner.

 

The closest I have seen is mashed sweet potato with some maple syrup drizzled on top.

 

Really? I grew up with marshmallow sweet potatoes... A few huge cans of yams, a stick of butter, a couple cups of sugar, then smother in marshmallows. A guaranteed hit with the younger crowd. :lol:

 

As far as Americans being strange, I'll give you marshmallow sweet potatoes and peanut butter sandwiches, and raise you vegemite and musk-scented candy. ;)

 

Heather in Neverland, I'm happy to hear Christmas dinner went well! :thumbup:

 

 

coffeegal (who's waiting for her pumpkin pies to finish baking) :cool:

 

[shukriyya]

It went pretty well. It was a bit awkward at first. I could just tell she wanted this to be a dinner reflecting her new diet plan, but she didn't mention the quinoa or the "healthy" scones nobody touched. Somehow I still end up the one feeling a bit guilty. But it was Christmas and desperate times call for desperate measures! :)

 

Well, the awkwardness was a given. The whole situation was rather awkward. It sounds like there was graciousness on both sides despite the level of feeling involved. Do you get to eat your leftovers?

[HappyLady]

I'm glad it worked out. Did she REALLY think someone was going to eat quinoa with real food on the table???

 

 

I would have LOVED the quinoa!  I've never had a quinoa dish that wasn't devoured by everyone of all eating types whenever and wherever I've offered it.  What's with all the quinoa hating on this thread?   :lol:

 

To the OP, I'm glad everything worked out for you.  I've had to go to many a dinner where there wasn't much of anything for me to eat, but I've always gone with a smile on my face and enjoyed myself, then went home and ate the foods I liked so I understood your reaction to your friend's menu selection.  Hopefully next year everything will go better for the both of you.  :)

[LucyStoner]

On the sweet potato thing, my friend adds sweetened condensed milk, maple syrup and candied pecans to his sweet potato casserole. It's a bit much. But tolerable. And since it's his traditional family recipe and we never ate them before we started doing the holidays with them, I leave that to him always. I do however have to resist the momentary urge to stab him when he adds sweetened condensed milk to the mashed potatoes. My husband and I always, whenever possible, snag making the mash ourselves. It's really a sin against mashes everywhere. Sweetened gloppy lumpy glue. Gosh, I hope my friend never reads WTM. Because I swear and hope he is the only person on earth who adds SCM to his mashed russet potatoes!

[zoobie]

It went pretty well. It was a bit awkward at first. I could just tell she wanted this to be a dinner reflecting her new diet plan, but she didn't mention the quinoa or the "healthy" scones nobody touched. Somehow I still end up the one feeling a bit guilty. But it was Christmas and desperate times call for desperate measures! :)

She didn't even eat her own quinoa? Ha!!!

[Liz CA]

She agreed to let me bring a chicken and some mashed potatoes. I have decided I am bringing a real dessert too and I will just play innocent. ;)

 

How gracious of her. Hope you had a great Christmas regardless of food issues...:)

[Melissa in Australia]

On the sweet potato thing, my friend adds sweetened condensed milk, maple syrup and candied pecans to his sweet potato casserole. It's a bit much. But tolerable. And since it's his traditional family recipe and we never ate them before we started doing the holidays with them, I leave that to him always. I do however have to resist the momentary urge to stab him when he adds sweetened condensed milk to the mashed potatoes. My husband and I always, whenever possible, snag making the mash ourselves. It's really a sin against mashes everywhere. Sweetened gloppy lumpy glue. Gosh, I hope my friend never reads WTM. Because I swear and hope he is the only person on earth who adds SCM to his mashed russet potatoes!

 

:scared:

 

Sounded bad enough that people add cream cheese, but condensed milk :ohmy:

 

 

[klmama]

I would have LOVED the quinoa!  I've never had a quinoa dish that wasn't devoured by everyone of all eating types whenever and wherever I've offered it.

Obviously, your recipes for quinoa are far superior to those the rest of us have encountered! Please share one that everyone would love!

[Jenny in Florida]

I feel the same.  I would not feel in the slightest annoyed to cook extra vegetarian foods for guests.  I love to cook.

 

That said, if you will only cook me vegan foods, I probably won't come to your house for dinner.  LOL

 

That first part is so sweet! As a vegan, though, I hope it won't offend when I say that, often, I prefer to bring something I know I/my family will feel comfortable eating. I understand that, given the wide variation in the ways that people define "vegetarian" or even "vegan," I can't really expect someone outside our family to know what we do and do not eat. And, of course, there is also the question of personal preferences.

 

So, for example, although we are vegans, not one of the four of us actually likes tofu or any number of other typically "vegan" foods. I hate the idea of my hosts going to a lot of trouble, buying foods not normally on their shopping lists, etc., only to have it turn out the dish included one ingredient we don't eat or genuinely don't like. While we always appreciate the efforts of friends to include us -- and none of us actually have a problem attending social functions at which we know we won't be able to eat, simply for the pleasure of others' company -- I have found that, in order to avoid potential embarrassment on both sides, it's best if I bring along at least one dish I know my family can eat.

 

Now, as for the second part, I wish I could have you over for dinner. While I do provide foods including dairy products for my husband and guests, I do not include meat of any kind in my cooking. And, with the exception of one of my son's friends who has multiple, severe food allergies that prevent him from eating much of what I normally cook, I do not welcome anyone bringing meat into my house. Nonetheless, I am considered a pretty darned good cook by both vegetarians and omnivores.

 

Not to be all braggy, but I've won the chili cook-off at our former church enough times to justify retiring, since it didn't seem fair for me to continue competing. The plates of food I provide for the receptions following my son's choir concerts regularly empty before any other offerings on the buffet. Despite the fact that I do not use any analogues or "fake" ingredients in my recipes, it's not at all uncommon for guests not to even realize they've eaten an entirely vegan meal.

 

So, of course you would be entitled to turn down an invitation to dinner at my home for whatever reasons you wish, but I think it's a pretty closed-minded approach.

[Jenny in Florida]

My sweet potato dish is so sweet it is practically a dessert - no marshmallows but boy is it yummy!!

 

Ditto. I grew up on the canned yams with marshmallows thing, but I much prefer the dish I make. Fresh sweet potatoes mashed with sugar and cinnamon and margarine . . . It's almost like pumpkin pie without the crust.