What is reasonable for an 11 year old boy to eat?

[Ottakee]

Our 11 year old foster boy is VERY oveweight. He is 5' tall and 210 pounds. He wears men's X Large shirts and 36-38 waist pants.

 

I want to encourage healthy eating habits but not go too extreme so that it won't be a lifestyle he can't continue long term. Reality is, he will get some pop, some snacks, pizza at times, etc.

 

He gets lots of exercise---like 3-4 hours in the pool daily on vacation, several hours a day here at home. He is outside much of the day.

 

Today for breakfast (at the hotel breakfast) he had a belgium waffle with syrup, 2 pieces of french toast with 2 egg patties (made like a sandwhich), a danish, a banana, and juice. The room was crowded and we were split up and trying to pack to leave so I couldn't watch him as close. Then an hour later in the car he wondered when we were stopping for a break (anticipating a snack and juice---we stopped and I handed him a water bottle). For lunch it was McDonalds so I got him a drink, small fry and a double cheeseburger---ok, not the healthiest but we were traveling in an area of very few places to stop---esp. with grandma in a wheelchair.

 

He has seen the doctor and they don't want him to gain any more but rather "grow into" his weight. He wears size 10 1/2 shoes already and has not entered puberty yet so he may be tall/big. They also did blood work and everything--including thyroid, sugars, etc. were normal.

 

What though is reasonable for a boy of this age to eat? Esp. amounts. I know they can be a bottomless pit but this guy really can be and way overeats without some limits. I was thinking of limiting most snacks to a cheese stick (ONE) or fruit or carrot sticks, etc. I don't want to make this a huge deal as there is a lot of emotional trauma he is dealing with and lots of uncertainty in his life so I want to make this more about HEALTHY eating choices, HEALTHY amounts of exercise, etc.......something he could maybe take along with him when he moves on.

 

What other great ideas do you have for me? When he was in school it was easier to monitor portion sizes and times he ate.

[Ravin]

I would focus on the what more than overall quantity. Like, "you can eat all the carrot sticks you want at snack, but only one cheese stick" or at breakfast all the fruit he wanted but a waffle OR french toast OR a pastry and 2 eggs. Basically, encourage him to "fill in the corners" with fruit and veggies and moderate his carb intake. I wouldn't restrict protein either. At that age I was a skinny nothing but often ate as much as my father who was 6'2" because I was in a growth spurt.

[IrishMum]

I would like to see him eat a lot more protein and a lot less carbs. Good protein, not burgers and sausages, will fill him up leaving less room for the other stuff. I have a son this age, but a lot smaller, so it wouldn't compare. My son eats a lot for his size, but I only feed him meat, veggies, and a little fruit, with very few treats. I think you are fantastic to be thinking/doing so much for this boy :)

[EKS]

Today for breakfast (at the hotel breakfast) he had a belgium waffle with syrup, 2 pieces of french toast with 2 egg patties (made like a sandwhich), a danish, a banana, and juice.

 

 

My son is 11, is about 5 feet tall and weighs 110 pounds (which is on the heavy side). He would have had either the waffle *or* the egg sandwich *or* the danish with a banana and juice. But I would expect a kid who weighs 100 pounds more to eat more.

 

And I agree with the PP about eating more protein and fewer carbs.

[Jan in SC]

 

 

My 11 year old is almost 5 feet and 77 pounds. He eats two pieces of French toast for breakfast. An hour later he will probably eat a cup of cereal (no milk) for a snack. He will eat a turkey sandwich for lunch, and probably find some popcorn in the early afternoon. He might have another turkey sandwich after he goes to the gym. He frequently eats grilled chicken or steak for dinner with a potato, salad, and broccoli. He will always be up for ice cream! He drinks water almost exclusively. (By choice)

 

Most of his friends are his size, but a little heavier. Most of them eat a little more than he does. He is constantly active, plays a sport most days, and trains for it on his days off.

 

[zoobie]

Will the doctor refer him to a nutritionist? Then it's not coming from YOU, the rules are set by a different authority.

 

It doesn't sound like he's getting enough whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and protein. That breakfast was really heavy on refined carbs and sugars. I'd let him eat as many fruits and veggies as he wants, and add one fat/protein to a snack (cheese stick, cottage cheese, nuts, nut butter, hummus). Are you near a Trader Joes? They have individual packs of trail mix that are healthy and little packs of nuts, but you could make them up yourself with little containers or the snack ziplocs.

[GSOchristie]

I don't know about portion sizes, but we offer only fruits, veggies and 1 ounce of cheese between meals. You can eat half a cup of fruit, then half a cup of veggies, then back to fruit. If they eat four servings, who cares, it's all going to be healthy :). My kids don't overeat because what fun is overindulging on grapes and bell peppers? With their meals I start with 1 ounce of lean protein for my little ones, and two for my six year old. I give them a quarter of a cup of carbs and at least one veggie. They can have as much protein and veggies as they want, but I start out small. If my six year old has eaten a cup of fruit and cup of veggies between lunch and dinner and is still hungry I will offer him yogurt or an ounce of cheese. I would think this reasoning would work with any age, don't necessarily limit quantity, but control the actual foods to make sure they are good choices. My mom was very conscientious about nutrition and my brothers ate a ton of food! They were never overweight, but they were human garbage disposals.

[jhschool]

He is eating too many refined carbs.

No danish, no Belgian waffle, no syrup--that's junk. Keep the egg patties. Add more bananas.

McDonald's--eat 2 patties, no bun, no fry. Add salad. Add OJ. Add skim milk. Add fruit smoothie.

I think you are awesome for taking care of him.

[kitten18]

I would drastically increase his fat and protein intake and way back on carbs.

For example for breakfast at home (I know you were on vacation), I would offer scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon or sausage and only 1 piece of toast. I would also only give milk or zero calorie drinks. NO juice.

Doing something similar for lunch and dinner.

 

ETA - for snacks, I would give cheese, nuts, veggies with ranch, veggies with nut butters and hummus, etc.

[Joker]

Tonight my 11 year old DD ate three bowls of pasta with lots of chicken and veggies. In between bowls of pasta she had a salad with spinach, carrots, cucumbers, and dressing. I don't give more of the main dish unless they eat a good/equal portion of the veggies (which is usually a make your own salad). She is 5'3" and 95lbs, and she's not as active as you described. Both of my dds out eat me on a daily basis. I cannot imagine what they might eat if they weighed 100lbs more.

 

If I were you, I would start trying to offer healthier snacks whenever he wants them. If he's hungry in between meal times, he can have fruits, veggies, eggs, or another healthy protein. I keep hard boiled eggs in the fridge as well as already cleaned and cut up fruits and veggies. They can also grab a Babybel cheese if they want and add in a few crackers. We also have a lot of plain nuts on hand they can choose.

[wapiti]

I would drastically increase his fat and protein intake and way back on carbs.

For example for breakfast at home (I know you were on vacation), I would offer scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon or sausage and only 1 piece of toast. I would also only give milk or zero calorie drinks. NO juice.

Doing something similar for lunch and dinner.

 

ETA - for snacks, I would give cheese, nuts, veggies with ranch, veggies with nut butters and hummus, etc.

 

Everything Kitten said. I'd allow only a smitch of fruit but try to push it toward the latter half of the day (e.g., I would not be doing bananas often, especially not at breakfast - sugar at breakfast, even from fruit, can really be a problem for the insulin-resistant). I'd worry about lifestyle yes, but I'd be shooting for a lower-carb/higher-fat/normal-protein lifestyle. Obviously, that is a very serious weight issue that goes beyond eating habits - serious health consequences may not be too far away at all. Poor guy. Good luck making some headway - this will not be easy.

[GoVanGogh]

I have an 11-year-old boy - just shy of 5 foot tall, 90 pounds. He is in early puberty. The next time I buy him shoes, they will be 10.5 size. :huh:

 

If we were eating at a hotel for breakfast, he would eat 2 slices of French toast and 2 slices of bacon. (I know bacon isn't healthy, but I don't like him to just eat just carbs for breakfast as it messes up his blood sugars.)

At home, I will fix him one homemade muffin, cup of yogurt, serving of fruit.

 

I keep homemade muffins on hand for breakfast and snacks - I use quality grains: teff, oat, whole wheat, etc. I also look for recipes with dairy - cheese, yogurt or milk - and only use half the amount of sugar called for.

 

I agree with others - too many carbs, especially for breakfast. It really sets the day off wrong, in my experience. Up the protein and healthy fats.

 

Can you see a nutritionist or health advisor? I know you have posted some other concerns about him and I keep thinking there may be an underlying issue - gluten or dairy sensitivity?

 

:grouphug:

[RemsMom]

nm

[SKL]

I'd work on helping him to identify healthy foods he likes, such as raw veggies, and then make sure there is plenty of those around. Once he gets used to eating palateable healthy stuff every day, he will start preferring that over time. You are kind of between a rock and a hard place when it comes to trying to limit stuff that he can easily access - withholding it will just make him want it more. Maybe try to avoid stopping at fast food and having unhealthy stuff around except once in a while. If it isn't there, you won't have to say "no, you can't have it." Instead you can say "we have ___ (2-3 good choices) if you are hungry." See if you can get him involved in preparing food. Everything tastes better when it contains a bit of sweat equity. :)

[Ottakee]

We will see his worker in the next week and his doctor next week. While his blood work, blood pressure, etc. is all OK now I do worry about the future.

 

We will try focusing more on veggies, good proteins, fruits, etc. I do encourage a lot of water drinking---the ice/water in the fridge door helps with that.

 

Vacation is hard as we are traveling as a group and including grandma who is in a wheelchair, etc. I did have healthy snacks in the room and encouraged a lot of water but it was vacation.

 

I hope to hit the local farmer's markets esp. starting next month when the fresh fruits and veggies are in season.

 

He came to me this size and has actually lost a bit so far.

[itsheresomewhere]

One thing you might want to consider is if he is having any acid reflux issues. Sometimes in certain people it causes them to "need" to eat often and they will fill up on anything to stop what is coming across as hunger. They don't get it coming up the throat but it just feels like a chronic hunger.

 

If you get a referral to a nutritionist seek one who is a whole foods based and works with kids. They are better work with teens as they really think outside the box and understand they want to eat like their friends. I worked with one who was awesome. She even had a list of things that they could eat at the movies and not feel horrible about themselves.

[fairfarmhand]

ITA with those who said start te day with protein and limited healthy carbs. Snacks should be fruits and veggies. Fill him up on healthy food and good fats.

 

And I was just mentally telling myself this is why we don;'t judge parents for their children's size (or any other outside issue) We never know the issues that that family is going through. Many might judge you harshly on the outside, not knowing the stuff that this little boy has gone through.

[FaithManor]

I would focus on the what more than overall quantity. Like, "you can eat all the carrot sticks you want at snack, but only one cheese stick" or at breakfast all the fruit he wanted but a waffle OR french toast OR a pastry and 2 eggs. Basically, encourage him to "fill in the corners" with fruit and veggies and moderate his carb intake. I wouldn't restrict protein either. At that age I was a skinny nothing but often ate as much as my father who was 6'2" because I was in a growth spurt.

 

[Kate in Arabia]

In working to adjust our dietary habits we have done a lot of the above, but we have taken a gradual approach. I would make one change -- for example the first thing we did was stop all sodas -- then wait 2-3 weeks to do the next change.

 

Is he interested in becoming healthier? That might impact how you approach it.

[Truscifi]

He is definitely eating too many refined carbs, as pps have said. But be careful trying to change too many things at once. You said he is already dealing with a lot of change and uncertainty, and drastically changing his diet will only exacerbate that - especially if there is any history of food insecurity or use of food as comfort/reward. If he is on board with it, you could maybe do more faster, but otherwise I would do one thing at a time until it is "normal" for him. And I absolutely would not limit quantity of food overall, just try to sub healthy snacks rather than high carb junk.

[Alessandra]

Wow, your boy eats a LOT. I agree with the pp about good protein and fewer refined carbs. What jumped out at me was how much exercise your boy got -- your good influence?

 

I also see he is your foster child - I can't recall all your earlier posts. Was this the boy who lost his mother, or I am getting all this mixed up?

 

If there are a lot of family issues for the boy, is there any chance he could see a psychiatrist or get some kind of therapy. The medical situation doesn't seem to have any red flags, so it makes me wonder if something else is going on. The food may be a crutch that he needs for some reason -- I'd be cautious.

 

I've known kids with serious food issues before and it is a very hard situation to overcome. The families I knew needed professional help, even though the parents were skilled and caring.

[Ottakee]

This is the guy whose mother passed away unexpectedly in April and he came to us that night. Life was very chaotic before that. Most food was junk/convience food and likely the kids got/made it themselves type thing with little to no monitoring of what/how much was eaten. Pictures though of him from K on (earliest I have seen) show him to be very obese even then so this is a long standing issue.

 

He is in counseling. His older sister is even a lot larger.

 

I don't want to put him on a "diet" or become very restrictive as that is likely to backfire long term. I want to move more and more towards healthy foods in reasonable serving sizes. That is something he can do long term.

 

he is very active here and wasnt' nearly as active before. We have 5 acres to run around on, a trampoline, chickens, and other kids to encourage exercise---plus we have done walks/hikes, etc.

[Harriet Vane]

My 12yo boy eats an unbelievable amount of food. It's easily triple what I eat.

 

Carbs are useless for my ds.

 

Rather than decreasing quantity, I would increase protein and decrease carbs. Also decrease refined foods or cut them out entirely. Big time.

 

I also wouldn't worry about making any big changes on vacation. Just enjoy. Once home it's much easier to implement new food rules.

[Liz CA]

Even though I don't know anything about him, I am suspecting that the overeating is a sign of calming other emotions. "Eating feels good, let's do it more often and in larger quantities."

On dietary principles, I agree with good protein, less carbs and fruit and veggies. Depending on what environment he came from (lots of junk food or unlimited anything?), you may have to go slow so he does not feel punished or deprived. Poor guy! Talk to him about what certain foods "do" in his body, i.e, sugar and carbs. Does he drink a lot of sodas? If so, suggest to him to dilute his sodas bit by bit. First majority still soda but about 1/8 cup of water, then go to 1/4 cup of water and so on until there is little soda - just for flavoring - and a lot of water. Also, introduce healthier juices which can also be diluted.

 

Kudos to you for addressing this. You are making a big contribution to his future health! :hurray:

[wapiti]

Having a reasonable amount of protein and fat at each meal is going to satiate the hunger.

 

He needs to drink more water than what you listed.

 

 

This too - protein may be more obvious, but don't overlook the importance of fat to help satiate the hunger (and help his growing brain). And, of course, the water.

[Momof3littles]

I agree that I wouldn't focus too much on it while on vacation.

 

I'll add another vote for making sure he's getting protein and fats with his meal. I'd do things like sweet potatoes vs. refined grains for example.

 

Is he interested in cooking and food prep? Involving him in selecting some healthy options (letting him make some choices in the produce section), working teaching him some basic food prep, etc. might get him more interested overall in healthy eating.

 

For snacks I'd focus on "real food" mini meals vs. any sort of snacky carby stuff.

Hardboiled or deviled eggs

apple with cheese slices

nuts in reasonable quantities

smoothies made with unsweetened yogurt, fruit, no juice. Add a little stevia for sweetness

deli or other meats with cream cheese

olives

salad with cheese, nuts, protein

omelette, frittata, crustless quiche

leftovers

drumsticks premade and eaten cold

unsweetened yogurt and berries

cottage cheese

 

Baby steps. It is awesome he's going to get some guidance as time goes on.

 

I'd probably keep sodas to the occasional dinner out, birthday parties, etc. and just not bring them into the home for anyone. Or like a previous poster said, try diluting at first or cutting with some seltzer water (which has no sugar).

 

I'd try to get him into food prep, etc. and model some good choices that way if he has any interest. I think many kids respond well to trying new things when they are actively involved in the shopping and prep.

 

It is also possible to have insulin resistance but normal blood sugars when tested, so I wouldn't totally rule out that he may be on the road or already at a point of insulin resistance. For IR testing they commonly do a 2 or 3 hour glucose tolerance test and pull both an insulin and blood sugar level at each draw. Basically in order to diagnose IR you'd have to know what both the sugar and insulin levels are doing in relation to one another.

[LaCEmom]

Can you make it a family/group change, instead of something just HE has to do? As in "We're all going to cut down on carbs and only snack on protein/fruits/veggies, etc." for better overall health. That might be less isolating for him, and then you could all share/empathize/support one another with what foods you're craving/missing most.

[Ottakee]

We are doing this as a family type thing.....not just for him.

[Alessandra]

This is the guy whose mother passed away unexpectedly in April and he came to us that night. Life was very chaotic before that. Most food was junk/convience food and likely the kids got/made it themselves type thing with little to no monitoring of what/how much was eaten. Pictures though of him from K on (earliest I have seen) show him to be very obese even then so this is a long standing issue.

 

He is in counseling. His older sister is even a lot larger.

 

I don't want to put him on a "diet" or become very restrictive as that is likely to backfire long term. I want to move more and more towards healthy foods in reasonable serving sizes. That is something he can do long term.

 

he is very active here and wasnt' nearly as active before. We have 5 acres to run around on, a trampoline, chickens, and other kids to encourage exercise---plus we have done walks/hikes, etc.

 

The poor boy! That is such a sad story. It sounds as thought the exercise -- and having lots of space to do it in -- is a great start. I so agree with you that being on a "diet" could backfire.

 

Everyone's metabolism is different, so I don't know if this is any use, but my ds, just turned 13, is 5'10" and mid 130's weight. If we have London broil he'll eat at least a pound of meat at dinner and bedtime snack; eat almost a pound of feta most days. But he grew 5" this year and, in the spring was doing three 5k runs per week. He likes fruit (like a whole box of strawberries for a snack). But, when he is really hungry, he NEEDS animal protein -- hard-boiled eggs, large can of tuna, cheese, 16 oz of cottage cheese, meat, smoked salmon (special treat). Carbs just don't cut it.

 

I read one tip on WTM that I have been meaning to use myself. IF you are having some kind of snack food, out it all in a bowl or on a plate so that you can SEE how much you are eating. No snacking out of the box.

 

It sounds as though the boy will have a long journey ahead. I wish you all the best.