not doing sports?

[JumpyTheFrog]

I just finished reading the book "Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain." The author presents a very convincing case for the brain benefits of exercise, including reduction of rates in dementia (with later onsets, too), improved concentration for those with ADD, and reduction (or even elimination) of symptoms for people with depression or anxiety.

 

Exercise increases the amounts of BDNF and other chemicals that promote new neuron growth. It also helps balance the ratios of various neurotransmitters, which is how it helps with several conditions listed above. The author, an MD, is not against the use of medication, but in his practice, has found that many patients can reduce or eliminate the need for drugs (with their side effects) and keep their symptoms under control via exercise.

 

It's one of the best books I've read in the last year. It also confirms what I noticed in my own high school, that 90-95% of the top academic students were varsity athletes.

[Georgiana Daniels]

I just finished reading the book "Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain." The author presents a very convincing case for the brain benefits of exercise, including reduction of rates in dementia (with later onsets, too), improved concentration for those with ADD, and reduction (or even elimination) of symptoms for people with depression or anxiety.

 

Exercise increases the amounts of BDNF and other chemicals that promote new neuron growth. It also helps balance the ratios of various neurotransmitters, which is how it helps with several conditions listed above. The author, an MD, is not against the use of medication, but in his practice, has found that many patients can reduce or eliminate the need for drugs (with their side effects) and keep their symptoms under control via exercise.

 

It's one of the best books I've read in the last year. It also confirms what I noticed in my own high school, that 90-95% of the top academic students were varsity athletes.

 

That's almost exactly what the owner of the gym our dd goes to said--that their top athletes were also excellent students. I didn't realize there were medical studies to back this up!

[catz]

Ok, I have not read other responses, but I will go back and do so.

 

I do not think your husband working on Saturdays is a reason not to participate. My kids have done many activities over the years and often it ends up being one parent or the other bringing them and participating because that's how the schedule shakes out. But I do think being financially strapped and having a bunch of younger kids to drag around are perfectly fine reasons to hold off. She's only 5.

 

That said, my kids did start participating in activities young. They started music lessons at age 4 and 5. Both of them were doing tumbling. My son had tried t-ball at 4 and started soccer at 5. And I do feel these activities have been great for them. They helped them build focus, stamina, and team work skills. So, activities have been important for us. I have high energy, intense kids and I felt like they needed extras in their lives to focus their energies on, particularly as extroverted kids that homeschool. I don't necessarily think this is true for every child.

 

ETA - I'm talking generally about structured activities out of the house. Actually, at 8 and 12 neither of my kids are doing competitive sports unless you want to count auditioning for theater, which my 12 year old has done a bunch of lately.

[Joanne]

I just finished reading the book "Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain." The author presents a very convincing case for the brain benefits of exercise, including reduction of rates in dementia (with later onsets, too), improved concentration for those with ADD, and reduction (or even elimination) of symptoms for people with depression or anxiety.

 

Exercise increases the amounts of BDNF and other chemicals that promote new neuron growth. It also helps balance the ratios of various neurotransmitters, which is how it helps with several conditions listed above. The author, an MD, is not against the use of medication, but in his practice, has found that many patients can reduce or eliminate the need for drugs (with their side effects) and keep their symptoms under control via exercise.

 

It's one of the best books I've read in the last year. It also confirms what I noticed in my own high school, that 90-95% of the top academic students were varsity athletes.

 

I found this out when I was a student therapist in a nursing home; exercise was a huge correlating factor in aging well.

 

Exercise is also an excellent "brain changer" for recovery/treatment for addiction.

 

(It doesn't have a huge role in weight *loss*,though.)

[Tita Gidge]

I'm the registrar for our soccer association. We're a small organization but well-established, and we offer scholarships (as do our surrounding associations). So when and if you're ready, if it happens to be before you clear your gap, know that this could be an option for your family.

 

That said ...

 

I come from an extremely athletic family, both organized sports and general active fitness. We grew up in the tropics, with mountains on one side and the ocean on the other - we spent a ridiculous amount of time active in the outdoors, whether hiking or surfing or just climbing trees in the yard. So sports, for my kids, was never an "if" but a "which" (they choose). That's my bias for the below:

 

I'm a fan of most kids getting exposed to team or group sports around age 5 and up. Most kids. There will be some that are just too paralyzed in what feels (to them) a pressurized situation, but most kids will be just fine. They may not be team champs, they may not learn all of the rules of the game, they may not want to repeat the same sport the following season, but ... I think it's easiest to try new things out when they're 5-9 and there are plenty of other kids who aren't sport prodigies, who forget some of the rules of the game, who need to try a variety of sports before finding the one that clicks for them. There'll always be that one obnoxious parent, but let me tell you - that one loser multiplies the older the kids get! That's no fun for anyone, least of all for a kid who is just dipping his feet in the water for a given sport.

 

I feel it's important that kids have a basic understanding of the sports supported by our culture. I don't expect this will be a popular opinion, but even for kids who aren't naturals on the field - an understanding of the game is a valuable social skill. The time to garner that understanding is when the pressure is least, particularly for non-natural athletes. I think most kids should have a basic understanding of how baseball, basketball and soccer are played. Maybe football or hockey, depending on where you live LOL. I have no good reason for this, it's just what I think ;) I think it helps level the social field in many ways, continuing up through adulthood. (Remember, I did admit my bias!) Familiarity with at least one of these sports is important, IMO, and that familiarity is well-gained during those lower-pressure early years. One need not play to become familiar, of course, but it doesn't hurt!

 

Dad not being at games? That's not a reason to not sign her up, IMO. The argument that he won't be working two jobs forever can be turned around to support your mom's opinion, if you think about it. Sign her up now, and at some point the financial gap is bridged and he'll be able to attend her games. So that's reading like an excuse, to me and maybe to her. I think you don't realize it sounds like one because you have such fond memories of your own dad supporting your athletics, and you're saying it through that filter - a filter only you can appreciate, you know?

 

FWIW my job involves long-distance, extended-stay travel. All of my kids are in organized sports, and I've probably missed as many games as I've attended. It's not really affected my kids' participation or interest in their respective sports. It sometimes stinks to miss a great play, but (truth be told) I've missed great plays by chatting to the mom next to me in the stands or making a run to the concession stand LOL.

 

Not wanting to tote a toddler and infant around? Super valid reason to not sign her up! That's stressful, and those of us who have BTDT recently would never question why you're not up for the task. Your mom may be too far removed to remember what that'd be like. So maybe you put it on her, and say you're open to registering for soccer but it requires some support - either she takes the toddler out on the boat on Saturdays, or she commits to showing up for the majority of games during the 8-week soccer season. If she's not willing, she's more likely to drop it at least - you put the ball in her court, after all.

 

Is your DD the eldest grandchild? Is your mom just excited that DD is finally "old enough" and can start doing "big kid" stuff? My MIL was always trying to force my eldest (her first grandchild) into the next phase, without truly appreciating where my eldest was in life. She didn't realize it until I repeated it ten hundred million times over as many years but the kid had plenty of years to do those "big kid" things. If your mom was a strong drive behind your own childhood athletic experiences, maybe this is more about her than about you and DD. Maybe she got more out of cheering for you than you realize, and she's ready to do it again with your DD? For some parents, and I guess grandparents, it's part of their identity -- if not the sport, then the child playing the sport.

 

Or is DD behind a grandchild (from one of your siblings) who started sports young, and so your Mom's gauging your daughter's "readiness" by what her other grandchildren have done? Or maybe her friends' grandchildren? (Side note: the competitiveness of grandparents gets just as out of control as it does between moms. It's nuts. I've seen it in action with the old ladies I work with. NUTS.)

 

At the end of the day, and it's probably taken you a day to decipher through this ridiculously long post, it's more about owning your choices. I know it's hard to do against Moms, but you have some valid reasons for wanting to delay sports for your daughter. Trust yourself to make that call, and hopefully Mom will back off. She might be pushing because it's worked in the past, or because she senses you're not 100% sure of your decision. Moms suck like that sometimes. Except when I'm the Mom doing it ;) LOL

[Murphy101]

I think it's easy to dismiss sports if you consider yourself an 'intellectual', but I do think activity is very important. I also respect activities which are community based. I want to see kids moving. If they don't like soccer, take family walks, go biking or hiking, but it's nice if there are others from your area sharing in that..

If you don't like town/city sports, provide something else; riding, dance, gymnastics. Something. I think our culture makes it too easy to be sedentary. I also think the hsing community typically rejects group sports. I don't think that's good. Take it kid by kid, need by need.

My boys loved town baseball, and my girls were very into riding for a time, although it never became a passion. I am very glad I exposed them to various activities.

 

 

Ugh. This is really condescending, though I suppose you don't intend it that way. It comes off as anyone who isn't into sports thinks themselves to smart for it or too lazy to do more than sit about unless we force ourselves to commit to a sport.

 

All my kids are ridiculously active. And my attitude has nothing to do with home schooling. I went to public school k - 12 and I never played a sport. I barely tolerated PE and recess. Hated every single moment. In fact, I got an F in PE in 9th grade. I have always been very active. I just always thought sports were kind of stupid to ME. I find it crazy boring and insane expensive both to play and to watch in a stadium.

 

However, I don't expect anyone to share my view. Everyone has different stuff they enjoy for whatever reason and I think most people can comprehend that.

 

My dh did it all and loves sports. He regularly takes the kids to baseball games and they watch football together or go play golf or discus golf together. I take them for walks and hikes. We like rock climbing and bowling and swimming. I can't ice skate anymore with my bad ankle, but one of the girls loves it and goes when we can afford it. Archery might be an option this fall. We have been putting in landscaping, refinishing a table set... We are not at all sedentary IMO.

 

So again, I do not have any problem with anyone playing sports or wanting their child to play a sport.

 

Again, my only major quibble of annoyance is that attitude that people who aren't into sports are some kind of social rejects who aren't active or have some kind of intellectual superiority complex.

 

I think it's cotton pickin weird that we must force artificial activities when life is full of genuine purpose to be taken advantage of. People run on tread mills when it's beautiful outside. People put 5 year olds in sports when there's tree to climb, forts to build, woods to hike and siblings to wrestle and create games with. It's just not something I find necessary or particuliarly beneficial for very young kids.

 

And again, I have no problem with someone who does, as long as they don't act like I'm some horrid mom depriving my child of some great childhood requirement like math or leafy greens on occassion. ;)

[Georgiana Daniels]

Middle school age is fine for entry.

 

Don't push it this young. Seriously. If KID shows interest, that is another issue.

 

Also if by middle school kid won't play because feels inexperienced, get a few private coaching lessons to bring kid up to speed.

 

 

A few private lessons won't help a kid catch up to kids who have been training weekly (or even 2-3 times a week plus summer camps, etc) since they were 5. It can't.

 

Which is fine if a child only wants the sport for recreational purposes :)

[Catwoman]

I may be in the minority here, but my personal feeling is that if a kid isn't interested in participating in organized sports, they shouldn't be forced to play -- no matter what their age.

 

Some kids just aren't into organized sports. And that's just fine.

[RoundAbout]

We do different kinds of sports - skiing, rock climbing, cycling, mountain biking, and most recently a kids Crossfit style fitness class - so I kind of hate the soccer/cub scout question. My kid is unbelievably active and athletic and its annoying that people think I'm not doing right by my kid because we do non-mainstream stuff. On the other hand I get that soccer and t-ball are popular because of their affordability and accessibility.

 

But to answer the OP's question - I think it's silly to not do an activity just because Dad can't come to games. My husband is an active duty infantry officer who has deployed 5 times in 6 years. We dont wait for dad. I dont think its healthy to put life on hold just because it can't be perfect. DS and I have done sports, vacations, and even camping trips with a local nature club without dad.

 

I think it's fine if you just don't want to do it, or can't afford it, but I wouldn't use dad as the excuse.

 

Btw, I think swim lessons are a great place to start when it comes to athletics as its both active and potentially life saving.

[Pawz4me]

It also confirms what I noticed in my own high school, that 90-95% of the top academic students were varsity athletes.

 

But I wonder if this is a case of correlation doesn't necessarily equal causation? Kids who have progressed in athletics to the point of being able to make varsity high school teams tend to have parents who are very involved in their lives, who've been willing to invest a lot of time in the child's sports activities over the years. And they have parents who are willing/able to invest money into their child's activities. Travel/sports equipment/lessons/registration fees add up quickly once you move beyond rec leagues. I don't think one can assume that simply being a varsity athlete means physical fitness=academic success w/o also looking at factors like family income and parental involvement, which studies have shown to be key factors in a child's academic achievement.

 

I think it's cotton pickin weird that we must force artificial activities when life is full of genuine purpose to be taken advantage of. People run on tread mills when it's beautiful outside. People put 5 year olds in sports when there's tree to climb, forts to build, woods to hike and siblings to wrestle and create games with.

 

My father always thought it was *very* strange that Americans would jog around their neighborhood, come home and shower/change clothes and then get in a car and drive half a mile to pick up some milk or bread.

[Word Nerd]

I just finished reading the book "Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain." The author presents a very convincing case for the brain benefits of exercise, including reduction of rates in dementia (with later onsets, too), improved concentration for those with ADD, and reduction (or even elimination) of symptoms for people with depression or anxiety.

 

Exercise increases the amounts of BDNF and other chemicals that promote new neuron growth. It also helps balance the ratios of various neurotransmitters, which is how it helps with several conditions listed above. The author, an MD, is not against the use of medication, but in his practice, has found that many patients can reduce or eliminate the need for drugs (with their side effects) and keep their symptoms under control via exercise.

 

It's one of the best books I've read in the last year. It also confirms what I noticed in my own high school, that 90-95% of the top academic students were varsity athletes.

 

 

I haven't seen anyone in this thread dismiss the importance of exercise. Team sports are not the only way for kids to get exercise, yet the post above seems to equate the two.

[mamabear2three]

Wow, I didn't realize that this would be such a hot topic. After a long night and not enough sleep, again, I think that the whole argument is kind of crazy on both sides - I'm wrong to say I won't sign her up because of dad not being able to come, but my mom is wrong to make me feel like I'm terrible for not putting her in sports, too.

 

I was tired and cranky yesterday, and overreacted to my mom's comments but in reality, I was right to react that way, just for the wrong reasons. Why do moms have to be challenged all the time? Why do we have to meet any one's expectations? Just look at birthday parties! The gotta outdo the last party on the block makes the thought of an upcoming birthday party stressful and it's not right!

 

When it's a matter of opinion (which is abundantly clear based on the responses to this thread), then why does the mom even have to have a "good" reason for doing or not doing something beyond "I don't want to" or "I want to"? Kids have done and not done things they want to and don't want to do for generations, and parenting is not easy no matter what choices you make.

 

homeschooling makes those choices even harder because if you ditch the mainstream method of education/socialization, the rest of society (and often the homeschooling parents themselves) assume that you have to make up for that somehow.

 

My children are all healthy - they eat healthy foods, are a healthy weight, are very active, spend quality time asleep in their beds, play well with others and are polite. They know how to stay safe, how to ask before doing something and how to show love in appropriate ways. If I don't want to put my five year old in a team sport right now, THATS OK, regardless of my reasons.

 

I suppose I need to learn to stop making excuses for my decisions and just make the decisions. And then my mom can get used to the fact that I may not do everything the same exact way she would want me to do them.

[2squared]

 

 

A few private lessons won't help a kid catch up to kids who have been training weekly (or even 2-3 times a week plus summer camps, etc) since they were 5. It can't.

 

Which is fine if a child only wants the sport for recreational purposes :)

 

 

Absolutely agree with this. You can't catch up in middle school anymore. When I was a kid, you could, but not anymore.

 

I saw it this year on our youth wrestling team. A 5th grader joined this year, and he couldn't even catch up to the third graders in one season. He lost all his matches and had difficulty getting paired up in practice b/c his abilities were so far behind the kids his age. He had a great attitude about it, but he just wont be able to catch up to those his age, much less the younger kids. I suppose he might be able to ifhe was an unbelievable athlete, but if he was gifted in that area, he probably would have been in organized sports already.

[2squared]

You may not know if you will be a sports family yet, but it might be interesting to note the different viewpoints of sports vs no sports families. We are a sports family, and I see the value of kids joining sports early. 5yo might be a little early for us, but it's not too far off. I don't like that kids need to start so early, but they do if they want to play competitively when they are older. A family who doesn't value organized sports is probably going to have a different viewpoint. Their viewpoint is correct for their goals and values. The question to consider is if their goals and values match up with yours.

 

I've drug babies and toddlers to lots of sports events. It's not fun, but it's just what I've had to do so my older kids can play the sports they want to play.

 

Your dd probably doesn't know if she would like to play soccer or any other sport. My oldest joined basketball on a whim last year and discovered she loves it with a passion. Then she joined volleyball on a whim this year, and discovered she loves that sport too. If you had asked me, I would have thought she wouldn't like either sport. The first couple of practices were rough, but now she spends part of every day with her basketballs and volleyball.

[shellbelle]

My son started soccer at age 7. It took him only a few weeks to learn the rules of the game and play well. It just came naturally to him. He now plays rec soccer and travel soccer and loves every minute of it. If I had waited until middle school age (he is currently 11) I would have done him a great disservice. Sure he would have been allowed to play of the rec team, but there are so many skills that he would not have mastered yet. It would be very hard, if not impossible, to compete with the kids who have been playing for years. He definitely wouldn't qualify for the middle school team or travel.

 

My daughter started soccer at age 5. She is a quiet, artsy, gentle soul. Yet, she transforms into a fearless, competitive player once the whistle blows. It is so interesting to watch! She is so cute with her pig tails and polka dot socks, but is a fierce competitor. You just wouldn't know it to look at her. :laugh:

She has tried gymnastics and excelled in that area, but really loves the team sport aspect and the excitement of soccer.

 

My youngest daughter also began playing at age 5. One season. ;) She had the skills and was easy to coach, but didn't like the game. If a kid would pressure her for the ball, she would just let them have it. Not a fan of rough boys getting up in her personal space. She will play around in the yard with her siblings, but prefers the gentler atmosphere than gymnastics offers.

 

We've tried other recreational activities: scouts (didn't like), ballet (natural talent, but found it boring) piano (love), and swimming (like, but not enough to join a team). We might try deck hockey, cheer, basketball and other instruments in the future. It is important to me to offer the kids an opportunity to try different activities. I grew up with no choices due to lack of funds and parental involvement. I still wish that I'd been given the opportunity to learn a sport and an instrument. I'm trying to learn piano now, but it isn't easy!

 

As far as the father participation goes, my husband does coach my daughter's team, but isn't able to make it to all of my son's games/practices or my other daughter's gymnastics. We do what we can. Perhaps he can take your child to practices. The kids often have scrimmages during practices too. In the end, it is your decision. I would just advise to try different activities as you can. One season is enough to gauge if the activity is fun/right for the child. Our rec soccer isn't very expensive at all. Less than $50 for an entire season and the only purchase necessary are shin guards and socks...cleats are good to have, but not required. Gymnastics, well that's another issue! ;)

[KungFuPanda]

 

 

The benefits would be exercise, fun, skill building, and learning to work together as a team.

 

 

At 5, a child can get all of those benefits at the playground. If the thought of spending every Saturday alone, in all weather, caring for tiny kids on a soccer field doesn't appeal to the OP now, I don't blame her. I chased a toddler during my dds dance classes. It wasn't always fun and I didn't even have to deal with sunscreen x3 kids.

 

I'd wait until your daughter shows an interest, then do what I could to support that. However, doing it just for the sake of doing something organized really doesn't seem to make sense for your family right now. Keep in mind too that EVERY activity takes more time and money as the kids age. Travel soccer isn't cheap. Multiple dance classes and costumes aren't cheap. I'm not sure I'd head down these paths on a severely strained budget. The years zip by quickly and your other children will want to do things too. Choose carefully.

[shellbelle]

 

I've drug babies and toddlers to lots of sports events. It's not fun, but it's just what I've had to do so my older kids can play the sports they want to play.

 

 

 

Me too! Interestingly enough, they usually have a great time. My youngest has been to countless games and practices and usually pairs up with another "spectator sibling". We bring snacks, a ball and sometimes a DS/Ipod. I've only brought those for the indoor matches over the winter though because kids can't run around a gymnasium as they can a field. We make the best of it. ;)

[Tina]

My boys are slightly older and sports seems to be another codename for socialization here. I get asked sometimes if they are in cub soccer or other team sports. My kids are interested in golf and bowling, not much of socialization aspect there.

 

 

Our co-op went bowling once a month in the cold winter months when they couldn't play outside. I'm sure you could find some likeminded homeschool families for that. And there are probably some golf classes through the local club?? If you wanted them.

 

I agree, that with the ages of your kids, now is not the time! I'd vote for 7 or 8, too, if you want to get her started in sports. My boys got started then and were done with sports by 8th grade, tho younger ds joined the high school football team and track his junior year. And our co-op had the kids playing sports informally as a group weekly, so they did get exercise. Dd started at 7 or 8, and is still in basketball, soccer and ballet (a more modest once a week til a month or so before performance time, when she has 3 practices a week; plenty in my mind! She's not planning to go professional ;) ). She seems to be my real athlete and will probably continue.

 

No one says your dd couldn't learn some ball throwing and kicking with dad along with the other playground activities! :)

[unsinkable]

Middle school age is fine for entry.

 

Don't push it this young. Seriously. If KID shows interest, that is another issue.

 

Also if by middle school kid won't play because feels inexperienced, get a few private coaching lessons to bring kid up to speed.

 

 

Unfortunately, I find this not to be true in many sports. By middle school, kids have spent years playing sports and it would be quite difficult for a few private coaching lessons to bring someone up to speed.

 

By middle school, kids are dropping out of most sports, especially the kids who are not travel/club level players. It would be most difficult to START playing a sport in middle school.

 

I don't agree with it. In fact, I think one of our biggest problems in sports and recreation are the average kids getting left behind as they get older.

 

ETA: I didn't read everyone's replies and see other people addressed this. I'm sorry if it appears I was beating a dead horse...

[Hikin' Mama]

I haven't read more than a handful of responses, but if it doesn't work for your family right now, just say that without giving any other reasons. People will always find counter arguments to your arguments, so I've found the best response is, "that doesn't work for us right now." And repeat it every time they tell you why it should. If you get tired of repeating before they get tired of arguing, tell them you will no longer talk about it. Easier said than done, I know, but easier than trying to convince someone why you don't want to do something that they think you should do it.

 

Good luck!

[*Lulu*]

 

 

Unfortunately, I find this not to be true in many sports. By middle school, kids have spent years playing sports and it would be quite difficult for a few private coaching lessons to bring someone up to speed.

 

By middle school, kids are dropping out of most sports, especially the kids who are not travel/club level players. It would be most difficult to START playing a sport in middle school.

 

I don't agree with it. In fact, I think one of our biggest problems in sports and recreation are the average kids getting left behind as they get older.

 

 

This exactly.

 

When I was growing up sports became competitive around 7th grade. Now there are competitive 6 and 7 yo leagues. In fact the non-competitive children's leagues have dwindled into almost non-existence in my area. The same can also be said for gymnastics, dance, riding, etc. I think swimming is the only thing left, but even that is only non-competitve a very small sliver of the year.

 

I would love for my motor delayed son to be able to learn a team sport now that his gross motor is improving, but there is nothing for a 10yo that is not competitive and I refuse to put him in a situation where he is "bringing down the team" because I have heard other moms talking about those kids.

[unsinkable]

 

 

This exactly.

 

When I was growing up sports became competitive around 7th grade. Now there are competitive 6 and 7 yo leagues. In fact the non-competitive children's leagues have dwindled into almost non-existence in my area. The same can also be said for gymnastics, dance, riding, etc. I think swimming is the only thing left, but even that is only non-competitve a very small sliver of the year.

 

I would love for my motor delayed son to be able to learn a team sport now that his gross motor is improving, but there is nothing for a 10yo that is not competitive and I refuse to put him in a situation where he is "bringing down the team" because I have heard other moms talking about those kids.

 

 

Oh, I'm sad and mad for you guys! ((((Hugs)))

 

It is so ridiculous that things have come to this!

 

 

[Word Nerd]

Basketball is big in our little town, and I'm sure the kids who haven't played basketball competitively before will be at a disadvantage if they decide to start playing in middle school. I've noticed this even with players on my DD's team who didn't start rec league until 5th grade. There aren't as many opportunities around here for playing *all* school sports from an early age, though, so if they started playing football or track in middle school, it wouldn't be a big deal. It really depends on your location and the sport. In a small school like ours, everyone who's interested and meets eligibility requirements is on the team. The really competitive, more experienced members will get more play time and do better against other schools, of course, but it's not necessarily a lost cause if your child doesn't start at age 5 or 6.

[happypamama]

At this point, if your DH can't come to games, I wouldn't worry too much about it. If he's never able to, so be it, especially if he's otherwise enthusiastic and supportive. (The only thing that would concern me at all is if you had boys and he came to their games but not hers.) Dragging around a baby and another child is lousy, I know, but if the activity is otherwise important, well, that's what we do.

 

That being said, I don't think soccer at 5 is really that big of a deal. I would see no problem with waiting at least a year, until your baby is a little bigger, or even longer. Or skipping it completely. I don't think team sports are strictly necessary. I think there can be some good things gained from them, but there's so much more to life than sports. I really think the biggest thing is that you encourage physical activity of some sort. I tend to lean more toward the "life fitness" sorts of things -- biking, swimming, hiking, walking, simply being outside. Some of that is because financial and other issues make a lot of formal sports difficult for our family, but it's also part of my overall philosophy; I don't want my kids to think that they HAVE to be on a team/have a uniform/etc. in order to be active. I want to instill in them a lifelong love of *doing* and being active, things they can do on their own without a full team and lots of equipment.

[Murphy101]

To the OP

 

I just want to say I do think it's valid to say if dh can't help out that it's too much for a mom with several littles tagging along. I did exactly that with my olders and it was not fun. It was exhausting and stressful. Most of the time me and the little were way more tired and stressed than older sons were enjoying themselves. It's a lot of work to haul stuff, keep an eye on the littles while cheering players, meals and naps are off. And I didn't want dh to work all that extra for sports for the kids.

 

Sharing that load with husband makes a tremendous difference. Some moms don't mind. Or maybe they are just better at it than me.

 

But I just wanted you to know it's okay to say it's just too my much right now. Right now won't be forever.

[Georgiana Daniels]

Wow, I didn't realize that this would be such a hot topic. After a long night and not enough sleep, again, I think that the whole argument is kind of crazy on both sides - I'm wrong to say I won't sign her up because of dad not being able to come, but my mom is wrong to make me feel like I'm terrible for not putting her in sports, too.

 

I was tired and cranky yesterday, and overreacted to my mom's comments but in reality, I was right to react that way, just for the wrong reasons. Why do moms have to be challenged all the time? Why do we have to meet any one's expectations? Just look at birthday parties! The gotta outdo the last party on the block makes the thought of an upcoming birthday party stressful and it's not right!

 

When it's a matter of opinion (which is abundantly clear based on the responses to this thread), then why does the mom even have to have a "good" reason for doing or not doing something beyond "I don't want to" or "I want to"? Kids have done and not done things they want to and don't want to do for generations, and parenting is not easy no matter what choices you make.

 

homeschooling makes those choices even harder because if you ditch the mainstream method of education/socialization, the rest of society (and often the homeschooling parents themselves) assume that you have to make up for that somehow.

 

My children are all healthy - they eat healthy foods, are a healthy weight, are very active, spend quality time asleep in their beds, play well with others and are polite. They know how to stay safe, how to ask before doing something and how to show love in appropriate ways. If I don't want to put my five year old in a team sport right now, THATS OK, regardless of my reasons.

 

I suppose I need to learn to stop making excuses for my decisions and just make the decisions. And then my mom can get used to the fact that I may not do everything the same exact way she would want me to do them.

 

Don't worry about it being a hot topic. What usually happens is people start out responding directing to the original poster about their particular issue--then the thread takes on a life of its own and we start talking generalities :)

[LibraryLover]

Yes on the high achieving students & sports. The valedictorian of my class later became a Rhodes Scholar. The valedictorians of both of my sons' high school grad classes were young women who were also track stars.

PS President Clinton was a RS, as was Kris Kristofferson. ;) Fun Facts from LL.

[Joyofsixreboot]

She can play or not as you wish. It certainly isn't mandatory but I don't think it's pushing either. I don't think sports are a moral issue. As for the dad thing, my kids often have neither dh or I there and they don't seem scarred.

[twoxcell]

At 5, a child can get all of those benefits at the playground. If the thought of spending every Saturday alone, in all weather, caring for tiny kids on a soccer field doesn't appeal to the OP now, I don't blame her. I chased a toddler during my dds dance classes. It wasn't always fun and I didn't even have to deal with sunscreen x3 kids.

 

I'd wait until your daughter shows an interest, then do what I could to support that. However, doing it just for the sake of doing something organized really doesn't seem to make sense for your family right now. Keep in mind too that EVERY activity takes more time and money as the kids age. Travel soccer isn't cheap. Multiple dance classes and costumes aren't cheap. I'm not sure I'd head down these paths on a severely strained budget. The years zip by quickly and your other children will want to do things too. Choose carefully.

 

That comment wasn't directed at the OP. It was in response to someone who said she didn't see any benefits for kids under 10 playing sports. I think the OP is fine with what ever decision she makes. ;)I also don't think she has to explain anything to her mom other than she doesn't want to do it right now.

[unsinkable]

Yes on the high achieving students & sports. The valedictorian of my class later became a Rhodes Scholar. The valedictorians of both of my sons' high school grad classes were young women who were also track stars.

 

PS President Clinton was a RS, as was Kris Kristofferson. ;) Fun Facts from LL.

 

And I know some beautifully talented athletes who are not "high achieving."

 

The part that sucks, IME and O, is that sports are tied to school. I wish they were separate.

[Catwoman]

 

And some parents aren't interested either. I absolutely do not want to sit through games several times a week. No thank you. I sacrifice enough for my kids. I cannot do it all. Not to mention the few things I've had my kids do for a bit were absolutely unpleasant because of some of the other parents there. I got sick of these hyper competitive parents screaming at their 5 year olds.

 

I know what you mean about the parents. It's like they all think their kids are going to go pro. For crying our loud, it's school or recreational sports, not the New York Yankees, but if you heard the parents talk about it, every single one of their kids is already Derek Jeter. :rolleyes:

 

When I hear parents of 5yos worrying about whether or not their kid is going to be able to be competitive in a particular sport in high school, I know it's not about the kid at all -- it's about the parents and their dreams for the kid, because I am quite certain that the vast majority of 5 year olds haven't the slightest care about what they'll be doing in 10 years.

[Word Nerd]

I know what you mean about the parents. It's like they all think their kids are going to go pro. For crying our loud, it's school or recreational sports, not the New York Yankees, but if you heard the parents talk about it, every single one of their kids is already Derek Jeter. :rolleyes:

 

When I hear parents of 5yos worrying about whether or not their kid is going to be able to be competitive in a particular sport in high school, I know it's not about the kid at all -- it's about the parents and their dreams for the kid, because I am quite certain that the vast majority of 5 year olds haven't the slightest care about what they'll be doing in 10 years.

 

But if they don't play varsity in high school, they can't excel academically either! ;)

[LibraryLover]

I do not think one has to be involved with organized sports! I do think interested children can benefit if the coaches are good etc.

I think activity is important. I should be out riding my bike instead of sitting here, for instance. I am certainly not going to join a roller derby or anything. :) I never forced my kids to play organized sports, although I did enjoy watching them play, and hanging out with the other parents during games. my boys who played town baseball, lacrosse, basketball, and soccer at their school. They were not stars, but they played hard, and it was fun to watch. I personally loved watching paint dry when my oldest dd was on the high school x -country team. ;)

[Catwoman]

But if they don't play varsity in high school, they can't excel academically either! ;)

 

:D :D :D :D

 

Yeah, I know. It's not like some kids aren't just all-around competitive types, who will work hard to excel at whatever they do, whether it's sports or academics or basketweaving or becoming the very best Swamp People they can possibly be... ;)

 

Some people are just competitive and hard workers. Period. I don't think it's a sports thing at all -- I think it's a personality thing.

[LibraryLover]

:D :D :D :D

 

Yeah, I know. It's not like some kids aren't just all-around competitive types, who will work hard to excel at whatever they do, whether it's sports or academics or basketweaving or becoming the very best Swamp People they can possibly be... ;)

 

Some people are just competitive and hard workers. Period. I don't think it's a sports thing at all -- I think it's a personality thing.

 

 

Of course there are brilliant folks who never played a sport! I agree some kids are more competitive than others. There are activities which don't require a hugely competitive nature, and there are ways to be active that are do not demand introverts be part of a group.

 

But if we are tossing around stats, the fact that high achieving students are often excellent athletes is a valid one. :) Athletics also involve risk-taking, and you know, that is very important, at least according to some research. lol Win-win, right?

[LibraryLover]

I know what you mean about the parents. It's like they all think their kids are going to go pro. For crying our loud, it's school or recreational sports, not the New York Yankees, but if you heard the parents talk about it, every single one of their kids is already Derek Jeter. :rolleyes:

 

When I hear parents of 5yos worrying about whether or not their kid is going to be able to be competitive in a particular sport in high school, I know it's not about the kid at all -- it's about the parents and their dreams for the kid, because I am quite certain that the vast majority of 5 year olds haven't the slightest care about what they'll be doing in 10 years.

 

 

In any given sport, you are going to find a parent or two thinking this, but I think the majority of parents are realistic. I remember giggling in the stands at times with parents about our kids having two left feet. The blowhards are so full of themselves that it makes this issue seem bigger than it is. Most hockey dads are not murdering other hockey dads.

 

I trust people when they say they have commonly witnessed this. It may be because mine were not 'elite', so it was never terribly competitive, even at the middle school level. I have never seen anyone yell at a 5 year old during beehive soccer. Mostly, the parents did a lot of laughing. I have heard parents call out, "Pay attention! Look up up! But not in a nasty way.

[Kathryn]

The varsity athletes at my school were pretty much the epitome of "dumb jock." I'm really surprised to hear so many people saying it was the opposite for them.

[Georgiana Daniels]

The varsity athletes at my school were pretty much the epitome of "dumb jock." I'm really surprised to hear so many people saying it was the opposite for them.

 

I don't remember the athletes in my high school being especially dumb. Nowadays, around here a kid isn't even eligible to play sports if they don't maintain their GPA. In some cases, sports is the only thing keeping a kid IN school and graduating. There are some sports where a combination of intelligence and athleticism is important because you need to be able to think and make good plays at the spur of the moment.

[LibraryLover]

I want to be on record (again) saying that there is time, and you don't have to do everything at age 5. Taking it easy in the beginning is good, because once kids fine a passion, you're in trouble. :)

 

Just because I think beehive soccer is cute, and I had a nice time on the field watching (the younger siblings always found other siblings to play with at practice) and talking to other townies, doesn't mean I think it's for everyone. Beehive soccer here was only for one hour on Saturday, so not a big commitment. My youngest was asked to be on the travel team later on, but we said no to that. It wasn't her passion.

[LibraryLover]

Me too! Interestingly enough, they usually have a great time. My youngest has been to countless games and practices and usually pairs up with another "spectator sibling". We bring snacks, a ball and sometimes a DS/Ipod. I've only brought those for the indoor matches over the winter though because kids can't run around a gymnasium as they can a field. We make the best of it. ;)

I guess this really depends on the child/family. This was our experience as well. My younger kids loved playing with each other and siblings off field. I prefer fall soccer to spring soccer myself. The ground is often still frozen at the beginning of spring soccer. Hated that. lol. Town baseball is great because it is held at a park, with swings etc., and since it doesn't start until June, it's not cold.

 

To be honest, I did not go to all the games my kids ever played.

[Georgiana Daniels]

 

I guess this really depends on the child/family. This was our experience as well. My younger kids loved playing with each other and siblings off field. I prefer fall soccer to spring soccer myself. The ground is often still frozen at the beginning of spring soccer. Hated that. lol. Town baseball is great because it is held at a park, with swings etc., and since it doesn't start until June, it's not cold.

 

 

My kids have paired up with others at soccer games and gymnastics meets too! It generally works out pretty well when they're at the right age for that. Letting kids play, scream, and run amok at games is a BREEZE compared to keeping a 2-year old and a 3-year old quiet during big sister's vocal performances and choir concerts that ran for 2 hours. Talk about stress! LOL, ugh. Those were the days....

[twoxcell]

I know what you mean about the parents. It's like they all think their kids are going to go pro. For crying our loud, it's school or recreational sports, not the New York Yankees, but if you heard the parents talk about it, every single one of their kids is already Derek Jeter. :rolleyes:

 

When I hear parents of 5yos worrying about whether or not their kid is going to be able to be competitive in a particular sport in high school, I know it's not about the kid at all -- it's about the parents and their dreams for the kid, because I am quite certain that the vast majority of 5 year olds haven't the slightest care about what they'll be doing in 10 years.

I agree with this too. At 5 sports are all about fun for us. My oldest is 9.5 and swimming is his passion and he has goals and dreams for swim team. At 5 though when he played K soccer he was just having fun, and when he did swim lessons at 5 he had no notion of swim team.

[Tita Gidge]

 

When it's a matter of opinion (which is abundantly clear based on the responses to this thread), then why does the mom even have to have a "good" reason for doing or not doing something beyond "I don't want to" or "I want to"? Kids have done and not done things they want to and don't want to do for generations, and parenting is not easy no matter what choices you make.

 

I don't think we do. But I think we tend to open the door for "needing" a good reason when we offer one up.

 

Instead we'd do better to leave that door closed, and to simply say what you've written: "I don't want to."

 

And leave it at that, secure in our decision, repeating as necessary until deaf ears hear.

 

I suppose I need to learn to stop making excuses for my decisions and just make the decisions. And then my mom can get used to the fact that I may not do everything the same exact way she would want me to do them.

 

 

Yes! Do just this!

 

Excellent start.

 

Not easy, but definitely worth starting and doing.

 

Good luck to your family :)

[Luanne]

Huh????

 

Bill

 

Unless she is really wanting to do it, I don't see why you should make a five year old child play soccer. In case you are unaware, 5 is very young.