Mother of the Bride dresses

[JVA]

Our only daughter is getting married in 7 weeks. I've put off purchasing a dress as I'm still losing lbs and hope to keep at it for a while yet. I'm fair skinned, blonde with blue eyes. I LOVE color, don't wear beige, browns, oranges etc... Most dresses online and at stores (Macy's, Nordstrom, JC Penny) for MOB are navy, champagne, dark purple or MAUVE. :crying: None of those appeal. Is it an unwritten rule that MOB cannot wear pastels? BTW- the bridesmaids are wearing a cornflower blue (which is lovely) , MOG is wearing navy....so those two are eliminated from my choices. Is there any advice for me?

[Starr]

You know your friends here love to shop with your money. Approximately what size/figure type are we looking for. :D

[Catwoman]

Wear whatever color looks best on you, and don't feel that you need to buy a "mother of the bride" dress. You can buy any kind of gown, cocktail dress, or suit that makes you feel good when you put it on.

[MFG]

My only daughter was married a little over two weeks ago. I love color also and wore this http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/adrianna-papell-tiered-chiffon-dress/3101760?origin=category&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=DARK+TEAL&resultback=2419.

Eta: I agree that many Mother of the Bride dresses look dreadful.

[momofkhm]

Yes, don't feel you have to buy something that says MOB! And pastels I think are fine. I was once accused of wearing a MOB dress for Easter and it was a pastel blue. It was several years ago so I'm sure I won't be able to find it on-line now. But I did not buy it from the bridal department.

 

How formal/casual should it be?

[Kelly1730]

Wow, it seems there are several of us with only daughters getting married! Ours is May 25th;) The bridesmaids are wearing a dark purple, almost eggplant and I think I will be looking for a sage green dress. Go with color if that's what you like and choose the style that suits you best. When my two older sons were married, I purchased both dresses from Coldwater Creek.

[FaithManor]

Our only daughter is getting married in 7 weeks. I've put off purchasing a dress as I'm still losing lbs and hope to keep at it for a while yet. I'm fair skinned, blonde with blue eyes. I LOVE color, don't wear beige, browns, oranges etc... Most dresses online and at stores (Macy's, Nordstrom, JC Penny) for MOB are navy, champagne, dark purple or MAUVE. :crying: None of those appeal. Is it an unwritten rule that MOB cannot wear pastels? BTW- the bridesmaids are wearing a cornflower blue (which is lovely) , MOG is wearing navy....so those two are eliminated from my choices. Is there any advice for me?

 

I'm wearing a shade that is between coral and peach - somewhere in that range - to dd's wedding, just less than 9.5 weeks. She has a vintage shabby chic wedding theme and the bridesmaids are wearing chocolate brown, peach, pale pale blush pink, and champagne with one in coral. So, I'm wearing something close to the bridesmaid shades, however not the same style at all.

 

I ordered it online from Kohls since there was NOTHING I would consider wearing in any local stores or the Northern Detroit burbs shopping malls, Utica, Great Lakes Crossing, Summerset, and Oakland...boy was that an EXHAUSTING DAY of useless shopping! GRRRRR...

 

I don't like the MOB styles in the local bridal shops. Queen of Frump is what comes to mind and if they aren't charcoal grey they are a very drab shade of mauve/antique rose.

 

Faith

[Miss Marple]

At my son's wedding last June, the MOB wore a lovely green and I (MOG) wore a royal blue. It was an outdoor wedding and had a lot of color incorporated (reds and yellows mostly). I found my dress on clearance at Nordstroms. She found her dress at Banana Republic or J Crew (can't remember which)

[Lady Florida.]

I just have to say, as someone who's been the MOG, that I'm surprised she chose her dress before you did. I'm not old fashioned about too many things, but I never would have considered getting my dress until after I knew what the MOB was wearing.

[JVA]

Faithmanor- I SO agree. Most everything out there is either Queen of Frump or Skanky. Goodness. I'll check Kohl's.

Floridamom- Yup, I agree. But, oh well...i just have to smile. She's a dear sweet lady and has 2 sons and probably just doesn't know this protocol.

 

Thanks to everyone for their comments. You've given me courage to go for what I reallly like. :)

[elfgivas]

for dd's wedding, i wore a deep easter purple..... and found the dress on ebay....

many moms resell their dresses that they wore once. its just nuts.

so a several thousand dollar designer dress for $40-

 

:)

[Bang!Zoom!]

No advice, just wishing you good luck. I was about ready to go off the deep end on this myself, my dd said just wear what you feel good in, so aloha wear it is. I'm sure I'll be an instant family legend moment for it, but uh...big deal. I'm going to have fun and celebrate.

 

Dress hunting is seriously a toughie, good luck.

[DianeW88]

My dd is getting married August 9th, and I have no idea what I'll be wearing! Nothing from a bridal shop...that's for sure! Those things are so ugly.

[8circles]

Floridamom- Yup, I agree. But, oh well...i just have to smile. She's a dear sweet lady and has 2 sons and probably just doesn't know this protocol.

 

 

??? Enlighten me. Why should the MOG wait to choose her dress after the MOB chooses hers?

[KatieJ]

MOB in theory sets the standard for the length of the dress and probably has first dibs on a color. I was in discussion some times with the Mob or MOG if that applied as to what we were wearing, but certiainly each chose their own.

 

SOmetimes they all choose to wear the same color, and the same length, but I don't know that it really matters. Mob and Mog are not going to be in the pictures that are hanging on your wall. Wear what works in your family pictures.

[DianeW88]

 

 

??? Enlighten me. Why should the MOG wait to choose her dress after the MOB chooses hers?

 

Because the bride is the queen of the day, and her mother gets first dibs on everything. I believe the rules for the mother of the groom are:

 

1. Sit down.

2. Shut up.

3. Wear beige.

 

I cannot WAIT to be the mother of the groom. Seriously. This mother of the bride stuff is a huge pain! I'm so glad my other two kiddos are boys!!

[J-rap]

I guess I never paid attention to the rules! At my son's wedding I wore a winter white, and for my daughter's wedding I wore a dark mint green. They were both a dressy knee-length shift/A-line style dress, under $100. :)

[FaithManor]

Because the bride is the queen of the day, and her mother gets first dibs on everything. I believe the rules for the mother of the groom are:

 

1. Sit down.

2. Shut up.

3. Wear beige.

 

I cannot WAIT to be the mother of the groom. Seriously. This mother of the bride stuff is a huge pain! I'm so glad my other two kiddos are boys!!

 

Amen, and Amen, and Amen!

 

I have been the wedding planner since dd works nights - 12 hour shifts with 2 hours commuting. So, she's up when all of the businesses are closed. I have not minded. She's my only girl and I love doing this for her. However, it is a LOT of work and pressure on top of an already full life.

 

I am most definitely looking forward to the fact that from here on out I will be told what color to wear and when to show up. We'll pay for the boys' tuxes, rehearsal dinner, smile and shake hands, and WALK AWAY! Whew...what a relief.

 

Faith

[redheadmom]

If your DD is having her bridesmaids wear cornflower blue, is she also using a warm color somewhere...e.g. flowers, linens, invites? There are some shades or either pink/coral/rose or some greens that could look very nice in photos with the blues. What about a brighter cobalt blue?

 

As a wedding planner, I have seen MOB and MOB wear about any color imaginable (except white) I've seen golds, a hot pink, some dark reds,etc. I'm not sure who designs the MOB dresses but some of them are very frumpy looking or 80's leftovers. Get something that makes you feel beautiful; you will be in a lot of photos and don't want to hate how you look.

 

Target started carrying bridesmaid dresses so you may see something there to give you ideas http://www.target.com/c/bridesmaid-dresses-social-women-s-ways-to-shop/-/N-5c7eq#?lnk=Utility_Wmn_3-17_X0Y3W4|X0Y3W4&intc=911553|null

 

I saw a few online at Belk that weren't too horrible plus the prices are good http://www.belk.com/products/mother-of-the-bride-dresses.jsp

 

Did you look at Dillards? http://www.dillards.com/shop/Women-Dresses-Mother-of-the-Bride-Dresses/_/N-ydnz

[HappyCrazyMama]

Hmm... my daughter thinks I should wear her wedding color, I guess that's not typical? I love some of the MOB dresses, lol. She is not getting married until fall, the dress I have my eye on now is black. She told me dark green or black.~shrug~ It is going to be a very extremely small evening wedding with dinner at a restaurant afterwords if that makes any difference. I really know nothing, when dh and I got married I think we did most things wrong, except the "I do" part :tongue_smilie:

[Julie in CA]

I'm trying to pick a MOG dress right now too, and time is running out for me. Not trying to threadjack, but I could use some help too.

 

I think that this is the dress the MOB picked out, in eggplant color:

http://shop.nordstro...&resultback=200

 

I tried this one, but when it came it wasn't blue *at all*. It is definitely purple. Looks nice, but the color is maybe a little bright for me (blue would've been perfect on me) and the lace is kinda...shiny.:

http://www.onestoppl...2304-19241-1132

 

I also tried this one, which fits like a dream, but I just can't do sequins (the wedding is during the afternoon):

http://www.dressbarn...s/101302875/206

 

Now I'm thinking of trying one of these two. The color on the darker blue one (capri blue) would probably look better on me, but the wedding colors are fuschia pink and green, I think. A brighter color, like the purple one, would probably be better:

http://shop.nordstro...-Rich Relevence

http://shop.nordstro...-Rich Relevence

 

I *love* this one, but the $ is a little high, and I'm sure I'd look better with sleeves (pudgy shoulder/upper arms). It's maybe a little too much for the afternoon, but I think it wouldn't be too out of place:

http://shop.nordstro...40#BVRRWidgetID

ETA: Just noticed that this one is sold out in my size (16w)

 

Would someone please just help me get this over with? :001_unsure:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I like the purple one best of all those choices.

[TammyinTN]

Me too..the eggplant color is beautiful!

[redheadmom]

I'm trying to pick a MOG dress right now too, and time is running out for me. Not trying to threadjack, but I could use some help too.

 

I think that this is the dress the MOB picked out, in eggplant color:

http://shop.nordstro...&resultback=200

 

I tried this one, but when it came it wasn't blue *at all*. It is definitely purple. Looks nice, but the color is maybe a little bright for me (blue would've been perfect on me) and the lace is kinda...shiny.:

http://www.onestoppl...2304-19241-1132

 

I also tried this one, which fits like a dream, but I just can't do sequins (the wedding is during the afternoon):

http://www.dressbarn...s/101302875/206

 

Now I'm thinking of trying one of these two. The color on the darker blue one (capri blue) would probably look better on me, but the wedding colors are fuschia pink and green, I think. A brighter color, like the purple one, would probably be better:

http://shop.nordstro...-Rich Relevence

http://shop.nordstro...-Rich Relevence

 

I *love* this one, but the $ is a little high, and I'm sure I'd look better with sleeves (pudgy shoulder/upper arms). It's maybe a little too much for the afternoon, but I think it wouldn't be too out of place:

http://shop.nordstro...40#BVRRWidgetID

 

Would someone please just help me get this over with? :001_unsure:

 

 

 

I actually like the lace one. Could you find a cover? I couldn't find what I was looking for at Nordstrom but I found these at Dillards for example.

http://www.dillards.com/product/R-M-Richards-Lace-Jacket-Dress_301_-1_301_503613318?df=03060050_zi_champagne

 

http://www.dillards.com/product/J.R.-Nites-Capelet-Dress_301_-1_301_503686329?df=03969886_zi_dusty_lilac

 

Just a thought....

[Julie in CA]

I like the purple one best of all those choices.

 

Wait...which one? The lace one, or the other wrap-style one?

[Ellie]

Our only daughter is getting married in 7 weeks. I've put off purchasing a dress as I'm still losing lbs and hope to keep at it for a while yet. I'm fair skinned, blonde with blue eyes. I LOVE color, don't wear beige, browns, oranges etc... Most dresses online and at stores (Macy's, Nordstrom, JC Penny) for MOB are navy, champagne, dark purple or MAUVE. :crying: None of those appeal. Is it an unwritten rule that MOB cannot wear pastels? BTW- the bridesmaids are wearing a cornflower blue (which is lovely) , MOG is wearing navy....so those two are eliminated from my choices. Is there any advice for me?

 

 

The MOB can wear any.color.she.wants. Or to put it another way, the MOB can WEAR ANY COLOR SHE WANTS. Including pastels. Including navy blue, even if the MOG is wearing it. You wouldn't want to match the bridesmaids, anyway. You also don't have to wear lace and chiffon. You don't have to buy a dress in a specialty store, or in the formal/bridal section of a department store. wore a burgundy dress to my older dd's wedding, and a periwinkle suit to my younger dd's wedding.

[Lisa in Jax]

My nephew got married in January, and we were asked to wear purple. I wore this, in "plum."

 

I'm tall, but I'm heavy, so finding the right shape was a challenge. This was a very flattering shape, because it has a tie at the empire waist level. It cinched me in at my narrowest part, and made me look longer and slimmer. I also bought the matching short jacket, so that my upper arms were covered.

 

http://www.davidsbri...Neckline-F12732

[Ellie]

I just have to say, as someone who's been the MOG, that I'm surprised she chose her dress before you did. I'm not old fashioned about too many things, but I never would have considered getting my dress until after I knew what the MOB was wearing.

 

 

I would not have expected my daughters' future MILs to check with me before the wedding to see what I was wearing. :huh: I suppose we might not have wanted to wear the same dress, but really, there are no etiquette rules that require the MOG to check with the MOB to see what she is wearing.

[Ellie]

Now I'm thinking of trying one of these two. The color on the darker blue one (capri blue) would probably look better on me, but the wedding colors are fuschia pink and green, I think. A brighter color, like the purple one, would probably be better:

http://shop.nordstro...-Rich Relevence

http://shop.nordstro...-Rich Relevence

 

Would someone please just help me get this over with? :001_unsure:

 

 

I think you should choose the color that will look better on you. You don't need to match the wedding colors at all, but even if you wanted to at least no clash in the wedding pictures, blue would be fine with fuchsia pink and green.

[8circles]

 

I would not have expected my daughters' future MILs to check with me before the wedding to see what I was wearing. :huh: I suppose we might not have wanted to wear the same dress, but really, there are no etiquette rules that require the MOG to check with the MOB to see what she is wearing.

 

 

Yeah, I'm pretty well-versed in etiquette (although I detest it & usually do the exact opposite) but I'd not heard this one.

[Danestress]

 

 

I would not have expected my daughters' future MILs to check with me before the wedding to see what I was wearing. :huh: I suppose we might not have wanted to wear the same dress, but really, there are no etiquette rules that require the MOG to check with the MOB to see what she is wearing.

 

 

I have to agree. It seems sort of petty to me that an adult woman should be told what color she could or could not wear. When my son got married, it was a small affair, and I didnt plan or pay for it. Even so, I also didn't ask anyone's permission regarding my dress. It wasn't a prom, and I am a grown woman. And I assume no one was looking at me anyway with a precious, radiant bride on deck.

 

I found out what my MIL was wearing to my own wedding when she arrived at the church. I couldn't have imagined micromanaging her wardrobe.

 

Op, I think you found just shop for a dress of the right type that makes you feel beautiful and that won't clash with the bridesmaids. Maybe take your daughter shopping with you - I bet she will guide you well. Congrats on the wedding!

[Lady Florida.]

but really, there are no etiquette rules that require the MOG to check with the MOB to see what she is wearing.

Yeah, I'm pretty well-versed in etiquette (although I detest it & usually do the exact opposite) but I'd not heard this one.

 

http://wedding.thekn...oom-attire.aspx

 

Q. What’s the dress-buying protocol for moms? Do you need to coordinate outfits with the mother of the bride?

A. It’s customary for the mother of the bride to purchase her dress first. Her choice is meant to subtly dictate what the mother of the groom will wear and set the tone of the attire. This may seem a bit old-fashioned, but we suggest you at least have a conversation. Get a sense of what she’s wearing (length, color, style) before you buy your dress. Then you’re free to find something similar that you’ll feel comfortable wearing.

[Orthodox6]

I was MOG, and asked future DIL what she wanted us to do with respect to colour. I ended up with a beautiful dress, but one too small, which made me look terrible. Saleswomen are the world's scourge.

[Guest inoubliable]

I just have to say, as someone who's been the MOG, that I'm surprised she chose her dress before you did. I'm not old fashioned about too many things, but I never would have considered getting my dress until after I knew what the MOB was wearing.

 

Seriously. Pretty much every MOB I've known in the last ten years picked their dress first and usually had a little fun in taking so long since the MOG didn't pick theirs until after the MOB. I thought that was a "thing".

[Jennifer3141]

 

Seriously. Pretty much every MOB I've known in the last ten years picked their dress first and usually had a little fun in taking so long since the MOG didn't pick theirs until after the MOB. I thought that was a "thing".

 

 

 

It was at BOTH of my weddings. My first MIL could not wait for my mom to decide!!

[Guest inoubliable]

 

 

It was at BOTH of my weddings. My first MIL could not wait for my mom to decide!!

 

 

My mom took her time. Not that it mattered. My MIL and step-MIL ended up wearing something you'd expect on a porn shoot, without the porn bodies. And people wonder why we have no pictures in our house of the wedding party.

[Jennifer3141]

And now I need pics... :laugh:

[Guest inoubliable]

And now I need pics... :laugh:

 

*shudder*

You don't. Truly.

Those women are a nightmare. I'm not exaggerating in the least when I say, oh I don't know, that they're both washed up porn "stars", former addicts (current?), and just icky.

[Ellie]

http://wedding.thekn...oom-attire.aspx

 

Q. What’s the dress-buying protocol for moms? Do you need to coordinate outfits with the mother of the bride?

A. It’s customary for the mother of the bride to purchase her dress first. Her choice is meant to subtly dictate what the mother of the groom will wear and set the tone of the attire. This may seem a bit old-fashioned, but we suggest you at least have a conversation. Get a sense of what she’s wearing (length, color, style) before you buy your dress. Then you’re free to find something similar that you’ll feel comfortable wearing.

 

And that's why I trust Miss Manners and not the newbie etiquette people. :-)

[8circles]

 

 

 

http://wedding.thekn...oom-attire.aspx

 

Q. What’s the dress-buying protocol for moms? Do you need to coordinate outfits with the mother of the bride?

A. It’s customary for the mother of the bride to purchase her dress first. Her choice is meant to subtly dictate what the mother of the groom will wear and set the tone of the attire. This may seem a bit old-fashioned, but we suggest you at least have a conversation. Get a sense of what she’s wearing (length, color, style) before you buy your dress. Then you’re free to find something similar that you’ll feel comfortable wearing.

Wow. You're right. Emily Post says so, too. I'll be darned.

 

Oh well. Reason 497 I think etiquette is stupid.

[Ellie]

Wow. You're right. Emily Post says so, too. I'll be darned.

 

Oh well. Reason 497 I think etiquette is stupid.

 

I still prefer Miss Manners. :-)

[Lady Florida.]

 

And that's why I trust Miss Manners and not the newbie etiquette people. :-)

 

You and I are similar age (I might be a little older but not much). I have always known that the mother of the bride choose her dress, and after that, the mother of the groom does.

[Lady Florida.]

 

Oh well. Reason 497 I think etiquette is stupid.

 

I agree. Most of it isn't about manners at all, but silly fashion stuff. My biggest beef is the no white shoes after Labor Day thing. The person who came up with that didn't live in a warm climate!

[8circles]

 

 

And that's why I trust Miss Manners and not the newbie etiquette people. :-)

Welllllllll, technically it's Miss Manners who's the newbie. Emily Post came first.

[Ellie]

Welllllllll, technically it's Miss Manners who's the newbie. Emily Post came first.

 

Except that the current "Emily Post" isn't the original Emily Post, right?

 

Reading "Miss Manners" is like taking a course in good social behavior. It isn't always just finding the answer to the question; she often discusses why something is the way it is, or what the basic concept of good behavior is. And she's lots of fun--and you learn so much while you're giggling at the funny answers.

 

I haven't researched this at all, but I suspect that the original Emily Post and Miss Manners might have agreed more. Seems to me the current "Emily Post" is far more willing to throw good etiquette under the bus in the name of making everyone comfortable. That's what her answer about MOG/MOB dresses sounds like.

[trinchick]

 

I also tried this one, which fits like a dream, but I just can't do sequins (the wedding is during the afternoon):

http://www.dressbarn...s/101302875/206

 

 

 

IMO, fit trumps all when it comes to clothing. And FWIW I love this dress. I don't think sequins are over-the-top even for an afternoon wedding. However, if you won't be comfortable in sequins, would it be possible to snip them all off with embroidery scissors? Maybe tedious but wouldn't take longer than an afternoon shopping for a different dress.

[Jennifer3141]

You and I are similar age (I might be a little older but not much). I have always known that the mother of the bride choose her dress, and after that, the mother of the groom does.

 

ITA. This feels to me like a, "Everyone knows this!" situation. I get to go first with DD and I hope when DS gets married that I can invite the other mother to lunch and talk about what we're going to wear and how awesome our kids are. :)

[Lady Florida.]

I hope when DS gets married that I can invite the other mother to lunch and talk about what we're going to wear and how awesome our kids are. :)

 

That's what DDIL's mother did with me and it was so nice.

 

We're fortunate in that the two families get along well and genuinely like each other. We don't spend a lot of time together, but when we do we're glad to see one another.

[Lady Florida.]

This may seem a bit old-fashioned,

And that's why I trust Miss Manners and not the newbie etiquette people. :-)

 

They called it old-fashioned for a reason. These newbies didn't make up the custom. They're suggesting a MOG follow the older custom.

[Miss Marple]

I am so grateful we didn't have any MOG/MOB drama with our wedding last June. I was MOG...I immediately started looking around for dresses, I asked my dil what her mom would be wearing, and I was told to just get whatever I wanted in any color and not worry. MOB is known to be a little indecisive and needed plenty of time to make her choice. I think I chose my dress before she chose her dress, but it was all with the knowledge and approval of my dil and her mom. It is wonderful when families work well together...