Truscifi Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Ds9 woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. He apparently didn't sleep well, and was up when I got up to feed the baby around 6:15. I suspect this was at least in part because he wanted to read the books he got from the library yesterday. I told him then to go back to bed and try to get some sleep, as we don't normally get up until 8:30 or 9, but I fell asleep so I'm not sure if he actually went back to bed or not. He was awake and reading when I got back up at regular time. He was extremely slow and grouchy doing his morning chores, and didn't get started on school work until almost 11. He was also very easily frustrated and on the erge of tears all morning. At lunch time I gave up on school, concluded he was too tired, and sent him to his room to rest with specific instructions not to play or read, only to lay down and close his eyes. When I went to check on him 30 minutes later, he was reading. He knew he wasn't suppose to be, and quickly shut the book and tried to play it off when he heard me at his door. I made him get up then, thinking if he had enough energy to read, he might as well be reading school stuff, but he really was exhausted and I wound up sending him back to his room after less than an hour. This time he did actually lay down to rest, and wound up taking a 2 hour nap - very unusual for him, and confirms my thought that he really was that tired. I'm glad he likes to read, and I understand being frustrated when really interested in a book but not able to read it, BUT. He directly disobeyed me. If it were a lego toy he had been playing with, his legos would go into time out. But it was a book. I don't want to take his books. Even if I did, the child has a large and very full book shelf in his room. He has close to 200 books. So what do I do instead? We talked already about it and he knows he will get a consequence for disobeying, and I tried to make it clear that it was for the disbedience and not the reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I would just leave it as is. He was tired, he eventually took a nap. He is only 9. why punish someone for being overtired? he has already had the consequence~he took a long nap. maybe he is coming down with something. I know I am not a stellar person when I am overtired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Personally, I'd just let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I'm sure my answer will be completely unpopular, but I wouldn't do anything. Sometimes one of my dds will not sleep well or get up too early and it does throw the day off a bit, but it's doesn't happen all the time so I deal. If they were up because they were excited about a book, I would let them read. I have one who loves to read and would occasionally do as your little one. She is now 13 and it didn't screw her up to let those kinds of things go. She's a good student and a very good kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 honestly, i would just leave it too. it sounds like an isolated incident and not a daily issue in your house. i'm sorry today was rough. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I agree with everyone else. This doesn't sound like a punishable offense to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 consequence here would be an early bed time tonight since he was tired and grouchy today. DD11 has done this as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I often read even when I'm exhausted to get to sleep. I'm another person who would let it go. I would tell him that I thought it over and decided that resting and reading were ok afterall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 Hmm. Maybe I will let it go. He won't read to rest though. He will read until he is bleary eyed and ready to fall over, but still try to prop the book up and keep reading. That is why I specifically told him NOT to read - I knew he wouldn't actually rest. The child has read himself straight into a migraine and didn't put the book down until he started throwing up. (I'm the same way - he does get it honestly.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebacabunch Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I have a kiddo like this. She gets so grouchy that I have taken books away. When it interferes with schoolwork and makes the whole family miserable it's a no go. Staying up late reading is a perk of summer vacay around here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 He might be coming down with something. My kids took years to acknowledge/recognize the connection of lack of sleep with bad attitudes. I just kept explaining it to them. I wouldn't punish, but he'd be sure to know. His behavior was wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I guess I'm a meanie. I would ask for extra chores or schoolwork for disrupting our day by being irresponsible. I would definitely consider a brief loss of that book as a privilege because he's not able to be responsible with it during the school week. I would want him to learn that having fun late into the night has an unpleasant outcome the next day, even when the fun is reading. If he woke up and read to soothe himself or fall asleep, that's one thing. But the reading that first time you sent him to rest clinched it- it was just that the book is that awesome. Awesome enough to directly disobey twice... To mitigate my nurse ratchet hardness, I would (after a day or two of good behavior from him) make special plans for him to have chunks of free reading time during the day. I would also help him find more of whatever that book was at the first opportunity, maybe point out or order others like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 The only consequence I would give is early bedtime. We all have days where we want to stay up and read a book. No he should not be making everyone else miserable which is why I say early bedtime. OUr rule here is stay up as late as you want/get up as early as you want as long as you are cheerful. If you are not cheerful I know you did not get enough sleep and need to go to bed earlier that night to give your body what it needs. I would never punish for reading, even if it meant that he got little sleep and was a grouch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 To be clear, she isn't considering a punishment for reading, it's for the child not listening and not obeying. I would disipline for that lack of obedience, but not by taking the books away. Because his disobedience caused so much disruption in the household, I'd make the discipline something that would help mitigate the disruption: helping with some of Mom's household chores (restitution of some of her time), an assigned time slot playing with baby (he is responsible for baby's care to free up mama) or something else in a similar vein. I would be sure to make the books less accessible so he can't get himself into this kind of a pickle again, at least for a short while. I'd also give him a timer and make sure he has a clock easily accesible so he can police himself with the clock and timer. Then I'd give the books back, and have him use the timer/clock skills he learned, except that he now has unfettered access to the books. Then see how he does. And as another natural consequence of his choice, he'd have an earlier bedtime for one night to help him get back to normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Well....I'm all over the place in my head :) First, I do understand that this is about disobedience rather than reading and getting himself in a mood. Sometimes, I think the natural consequence (mom is disappointed) is enough though. It really depends on a number of things; but the fact that the other issue was settled with a 2hour nap leads me to stay here. A second option would be to have HIM come up with a consequence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Early bedtime and no lapse in daily responsibilities would be the consequence here. Yep, we've been through this before! I make the offender (same one every time!) continue with his regular responsibilities until he is not longer able to do so (usually happens about the time we get to math computations!). Then, it is off to his room unless he can be pleasant. If he feels badly as a result of staying up too late, he has to live with it. If he makes ME live with it due to his attitude, it's extra chores the next day. Regardless, he still has to keep up with chores and schoolwork, even if that means double work the following day. I agree that the issue isn't reading (love that he enjoys it so much!) but rather the disobedience. One time, I understand. Repeatedly, with massive whining the next day....not so much. Suck it up, buddy. Reading can happen during the day as well as at night. You made the choice, fine. The rest of us, however, do not need to live with the results! ;) I wear the mean momma badge proudly on this issue...BTDT, for sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 If that happened here the consequence would be two-fold. First I would curtail the 30-60 minutes of reading time before lights out that night as someone obviously needs rest. The second consequence is related to our screen time policy; if you do not complete the day's school work you do not get screen time in the afternoon. If one of mine did not finish thier school work due to their own poor choices I would not be allowing afternoon screen time. ETA- I have BTDT with this issue. The kids come by it honestly so I can commiserate with their need to read at all hours, but I also know they need to experience the natural consequences of their choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 If he's taken a two-hour nap, chances are he won't be tired enough for an early bedtime. I like the idea of giving him more reading time during the day. I'd probably let him read at night as usual, then check on him at the end of that specified time, before I went to bed, and take the book away while he's sleeping (or from him, if he's still awake...). My dd sometimes reads too late. I just tell her I'll remove the temptation so she can rest. I try to say it in a loving and kind way--I know what it's like to have an awesome book and want to read it to exhaustion! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brookspr Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I can understand that you don't want to take his books away, but just like everything else there is a time and place for them. I would take the books away if you want him to rest or sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Mom checking on him to make sure he is asleep for the foreseeable future would be his consequence. That sounds like a pretty natural punishment / consequence of his actions. I see no problem with taking the book away at bedtime and returning it after school work the next day. It helps him follow the rules. Earning the right to determine sleep time and day time energy needs is a skill he will need for life. Disclaimer...I've been know to stay up reading way past my needed bedtime. My consequence was dragging my tired self through the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 I would have no qualms in taking away the book for a day or even a couple of days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Lose 30 minutes of reading time before lights out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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