Cancelling the D&C...again UPDATE 2/8

[Starr]

:grouphug: You can go to the place that did the lab work and get a copy of the results.

[Miss Peregrine]

Bump for absolutely absurd update. I've never drank alcohol before...maybe it's time to start.

:grouphug:

 

Hope you get a call very soon!

[BakersDozen]

You can go to the place that did the lab work and get a copy of the results.

Nope, can't do that either. Policy is that unless there is a Patient Will Call on the order, no results are given to patients, period. Ever. I've walked in, stood there crying, begging for my results. Turned away. Like I said, my town sucks.

[Mommyof4ks]

That is ridiculous. We have a local clinic system here that does that too, of course they charge a facility fee basically to breathe their air too lol. Anyway, I hope the doc calls you back soon. Waiting is awful.

[SunnyDays]

Is it even legal to deny a patient their own medical results??

 

I'm so sorry you're still going through this. I agree with the others though, in that you're ill, you're at risk, and you need to get some closure on this. Unless your lab results show clear improvement, I would urge you to go ahead with the procedure for your own safety and peace of mind. I'm so sorry. :grouphug:

[unsinkable]

Lvnmysvn,

 

I am so sorry.

 

You've been in my prayers thru all of this.

 

I hope you have some people in your corner who are caring for you.

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug:

[Tammyla]

:grouphug:

[Barb_]

Oh what a mess. I'm disgusted along with you

[Starr]

Nope, can't do that either. Policy is that unless there is a Patient Will Call on the order, no results are given to patients, period. Ever. I've walked in, stood there crying, begging for my results. Turned away. Like I said, my town sucks.

 

 

 

By law the lab has to give you a copy of your results. You can go to the business office of the lab and sign for them. They are your results. You have the right to have them to take to another doctor is you want.

[Jennifer3141]

 

 

By law the lab has to give you a copy of your results. You can go to the business office of the lab and sign for them. They are your results. You have the right to have them to take to another doctor is you want.

 

 

This is absolutely true. They may charge you a fee for the paper (I'm serious - the cheap, bitter places do this) but it is against the law to withhold your medical records from you. The paper belongs to them. The information belongs to YOU.

[BlueTaelon]

This is absolutely true. They may charge you a fee for the paper (I'm serious - the cheap, bitter places do this) but it is against the law to withhold your medical records from you. The paper belongs to them. The information belongs to YOU.

 

 

This may vary by state, I know in CA the lab will not give you the results unless the Dr ok's it.

[BakersDozen]

I both called and walked into the lab today, even told them I was switching care providers, and was told nope, have to get my records/results from my doctor.

 

I feel like a hostage. My body won't just let this go, my doctor won't consider anything I'm asking/saying...what a helpless place to be in.

[Jennifer3141]

I both called and walked into the lab today, even told them I was switching care providers, and was told nope, have to get my records/results from my doctor.

 

I feel like a hostage. My body won't just let this go, my doctor won't consider anything I'm asking/saying...what a helpless place to be in.

 

 

Ok wait. I'm confused. Your doctor has the test reults and is refusing to give them to you?? Contact your state medical board.

[Jennifer3141]

Here is the information you need:

 

 

Health & Safety Code §§123100-123149.5

Summary

 

Any patient or his representative is entitled to inspect his medical records during business hours, within five working days after making a written request, subject to payment of reasonable clerical costs. He may bring any one person with him. <a href="#b1">(HSC 123110(a))

He is entitled to copies of his medical records, to be sent within 15 days of the provider's receipt of a written request, subject to copying costs of not over 25 cents per page plus reasonable clerical costs. ((HSC 123110(B))

The provider may choose to send copies of x-rays and ekgs, eegs, or emgs to another health professional rather than give them to the patient. 15 day limit still applies. ((HSC 123110©)

Providers may not withhold records because of unpaid bills. ((HSC 123110(g))

A health care provider may choose to prepare a summary of the record, for inspection and copying by a patient within 10 working days from the date of the patient's request, rather than allowing access to the entire record. (HSC 123130(a))

However, if more time is needed because the record is of extraordinary length or because the patient was discharged from a facility within the last 10 days, the health care provider shall notify the patient of this fact and deliver the summary within 30 days.

Providers must save records for 7 years or till a minor reaches 19 years old, whichever is longer. (HSC 123145(a))

Patients may submit a 250 word addendum of additions or corrections to the medical record, which must be kept and distributed with the record. ((HSC 123111(a))

Any individual health care provider who willfully violates this chapter is guilty of unprofessional conduct. (HSC 123110(f))

Any institutional health care provider that willfully violates this chapter is punishable by a fine of not more than $100. Violation may also be grounds for suspension or revocation of the provider's license or certificate.

If the HMO or doctor balks at providing the records, the first step would be to complain to the California Medical Board, (800) 633-2322.

In addition the patient may bring an action against the health care provider to enforce these obligations, including, in the discretion of the court, an award of costs and reasonable attorney fees to the prevailing party. (HSC 123120)

[BakersDozen]

Update 1/29. :(

[Xuzi]

I am so sorry. :(

 

I have no polite words for your OB.

[BrookValley.]

Oh, wow. That's just beyond...well, it's just not ok. I don't know, I don't have any words for you. :grouphug: I hope you get some resolution soon.

[BakersDozen]

My OB is angry with me because I was unkind to her staff, apparently. She is angry because I did not OK it with her to get my levels tested again, that I am doing things my own way. She is angry that I showed up for the u/s to confirm a doomed pregnancy and was silent and sullen - gee, so sorry for not exuding sunshine and butterflies. She is angry with me because I was so frustrated at getting news that there was development and being upset by it (I knew the development did not bode well and was sick to death of her hopeful comments/attitude). She is angry with me for snapping at the staff on the phone yesterday and telling them I absolutely would NOT come in just to get my results.

 

Oh, God, ladies, this is a nightmare. Have you ever felt like the victim in a pack of bullies? Only the bullies are life itself? You get punched by one aspect of life then passed on to the next aspect and punched again. My heart feels like it is crushed flat at this last development/altercation...as if it wasn't already flat.

 

I'm sorry...I swear I have good things to post about but this has consumed everything else lately.

[Veritaserum]

Good grief! I'm so sorry! :-(

[Reflections]

Update 1/29. :(

 

:sad: :grouphug:

 

ETA: :cursing: :crying: For you to have to deal with this.

[Jennifer3141]

My OB is angry with me because I was unkind to her staff, apparently. She is angry because I did not OK it with her to get my levels tested again, that I am doing things my own way. She is angry that I showed up for the u/s to confirm a doomed pregnancy and was silent and sullen - gee, so sorry for not exuding sunshine and butterflies. She is angry with me because I was so frustrated at getting news that there was development and being upset by it (I knew the development did not bode well and was sick to death of her hopeful comments/attitude). She is angry with me for snapping at the staff on the phone yesterday and telling them I absolutely would NOT come in just to get my results.

 

Oh, God, ladies, this is a nightmare. Have you ever felt like the victim in a pack of bullies? Only the bullies are life itself? You get punched by one aspect of life then passed on to the next aspect and punched again. My heart feels like it is crushed flat at this last development/altercation...as if it wasn't already flat.

 

I'm sorry...I swear I have good things to post about but this has consumed everything else lately.

 

But you intend to leave this doctor, correct? It sounds like there is a complete breakdown between you and this office so you need to do so anyway. Above is exactly how to proceed to legally get your medical records. What are you trying to accomplish by continuing to fight with them?

[aggieamy]

Can you go to the ER?

[Ipsey]

 

I have a call into another doctor - I hope they understood what I was saying because I was crying when I called. They will try to get me in today and see how quickly a D&C can be done. Anesthesia or not, I don't care. I am done. I am so done. I can't do this anymore.

 

 

What is happening to you is an outrageous travesty. I'm so very sorry!

[BakersDozen]

 

But you intend to leave this doctor, correct? It sounds like there is a complete breakdown between you and this office so you need to do so anyway. Above is exactly how to proceed to legally get your medical records. What are you trying to accomplish by continuing to fight with them?

Yes, I am leaving this doctor. My dh is in the process of getting a medical release form but it will take a while. I'm not fighting with them...well, not until today. I had determined to wait and see how things are going and that made my doctor angry, apparently. The fact that I was doing things my own way and in my own time did not sit well with them no matter the reason for my decisions (financial/fear).

[Guest]

I am so, so sorry you are going through this and I know exactly how you feel. I went through this a couple of years ago with twins. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my entire life. I kept holding on to hope thinking it would turn out okay, that I wasn't as far as they thought, and any day we would see/hear heartbeats. I refused to get a D&C thinking if I was supposed to miscarry, I would on my own. Well, I never did miscarry but the babies were not okay. I went so long, the doctor told me I'm going to get an infection. The difference in our situations is that the doctor was soooo understanding and there for me. He did not pressure me to get the D&C before I was ready. He just gave me medical facts and left it up to me. I finally had the D&C at the beginning of the second trimester (almost two months after the doctor told me the bad news). My doctor graciously let me have one last sonogram so I could see that I had absorbed everything that was there and that there was no life in there. It was such a terrible experience even with a good doctor. I was afraid about future fertility as well, and even afraid after the procedure for a long time. I thought i would never be able to get pregnant again... but I did. We were blessed with a beautiful son a couple of years later. He is such a joy and I love him sooooo much.

 

I would request the last sonogram if that is what you need to be sure. You have to talk to a compassionate doctor who can tell you the risks of a D&C versus waiting it out. Once this whole thing is over, you will be okay again. You will. Pray and trust God in this. He will bless you.

[StephanieZ]

I am so sorry you are suffering so much through this loss, and that you don't have medical professionals who you can trust to care for you. Having gone my own way a few times medically with home births and such, I know how important it is to have people you can trust when you are going against the tide. My only suggestion would be to try very hard to find a medical professional who you trust to respect and care for you, and then simply hand over your care to that professional. Allow yourself to be passive and trusting, as counterintuitive as that is. Let the doctor take care of you. You deserve and need caring right now. Submit to the caring knowledgable hands of some medical expert and allow yourself to be healed in some way.

Believe me, I am not a passive person, and I understand the need for control, but in some medical cases, you just have to use your control to just choose the medical team, and then hand over the decision making to the expert you have chosen. Choose to trust and to allow someone to care for you.

 

((((Hugs)))) and prayers that the blessings of your beautiful family will help soothe your pain and allow you to heal.

[lattedrinker]

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this awful doctor. I hope that you find someone better asap :grouphug:

[SunnyDays]

I'm so angry that you're having to deal with all this!

 

Please let us know how things go with the other doctor. Have no more contact with the previous one if you can help it. And I hope this is all resolved for you soon. :grouphug:

[tearose]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. She sounds like a terrible doctor! All the best to you in finding a much better OB :grouphug:

[melmichigan]

You can get a D&C with just IV Demerol and Versed, it's just not popular anymore. I had to drive 3 hours to get my specialist to do one that way when they would only do one under general anesthesia where I currently live. I am so sorry you don't have a more supportive OB and hope you find one quickly. I was only allowed to try for a natural miscarriage for four weeks after my levels peaked before the OB decided it wasn't safe any longer.

 

I am wondering if you would be a candidate for methotrexate? If so you may want to price cost of the medication versus cost of a D&C.

[Starr]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Tammyla]

I'm just sorry beyond words, and hoping you get to see a professional, sympathetic and helpful doctor very soon. Your doctor and staff adding to your burden at this difficult time is shameful.

[jenL]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[happyhomemaker25]

What a horrible experience. How could these people not understand that you are emotionally spent? I just don't understand. You've lost a child and now you are having to wait for someone to do something about it and they are mad at you? I can't even comprehend this. I'm so sorry!

[Melissa in Australia]

Oh you poor poor thing! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: wish I could just reach right through the computer and give you a hug :grouphug:

[Mom0012]

 

 

By law the lab has to give you a copy of your results. You can go to the business office of the lab and sign for them. They are your results. You have the right to have them to take to another doctor is you want.

 

 

I have had a lab refuse to give me lab results. I didn't want to see the alternative doctor again who had ordered them because he was so expensive and all he was going to do was read me the results. He refused to give them to me and so did the lab. I went to the lab in person and could not get them to give them to me, so I wonder if this varies by state.

[Mom0012]

My OB is angry with me because I was unkind to her staff, apparently. She is angry because I did not OK it with her to get my levels tested again, that I am doing things my own way. She is angry that I showed up for the u/s to confirm a doomed pregnancy and was silent and sullen - gee, so sorry for not exuding sunshine and butterflies. She is angry with me because I was so frustrated at getting news that there was development and being upset by it (I knew the development did not bode well and was sick to death of her hopeful comments/attitude). She is angry with me for snapping at the staff on the phone yesterday and telling them I absolutely would NOT come in just to get my results.

 

Oh, God, ladies, this is a nightmare. Have you ever felt like the victim in a pack of bullies? Only the bullies are life itself? You get punched by one aspect of life then passed on to the next aspect and punched again. My heart feels like it is crushed flat at this last development/altercation...as if it wasn't already flat.

 

I'm sorry...I swear I have good things to post about but this has consumed everything else lately.

 

 

How horrible! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: This kind of thing seems to be happening more and more. I think many doctors are seeing patients more as consumers than patients these days. There is no personal relationship or sense of caring. It makes it really tough when you have such a difficult medical situation to deal with. I hope you find a doctor that you can trust and that cares.

[happypamama]

I'm just so sorry for your loss and for what you've been through in the past few weeks. More (((HUGS))) and prayers.

[Jennifer3141]

Yes, I am leaving this doctor. My dh is in the process of getting a medical release form but it will take a while. I'm not fighting with them...well, not until today. I had determined to wait and see how things are going and that made my doctor angry, apparently. The fact that I was doing things my own way and in my own time did not sit well with them no matter the reason for my decisions (financial/fear).

 

But in the state of CA, you do not need a medical release form. All you need to do is send them a written letter and ask for all your test results. Send it to them with a signature receipt of some kind and they are legally required to get your medical records to you without 15 days. Failing to do so is a violation of their medical licensing. They are NOT going to fail to do this - it would be an utterly stupid thing to let stand in front of the licensing board over but good night, if they did - you'd have your doctor by the proverbial balls.

 

This is all you need to say:

 

Dear Doctor So and So,

 

I am Patient X and I am now requesting all of my medical records with this practice. Please send them to me at :

 

Patient X

My home address, CA

 

pursuant to California Health and Safety Code HSC 123110. If I do not have them within fifteen days I will be calling the California Medical Board at 1-800-633-2322.

 

Sincerely,

Annoyed as heck patient

 

 

Keep a copy of the letter for yourself. Make sure you send it priority mail with a signature guarantee or however annoying way you want to send it but make sure you will get some sort of confirmation back from the office. And if they do not send your records, call that 800 number on day 15 and smile a little because you've GOT THEM. And this doctor sounds like she deserves to be gotten, if everything you have stated is truthful. :cursing:

[Barb_]

I guess as a doctor's wife I will chime in and say... we are only seeing one side. She sounds a bit hysterical even on here. She says she was yelling... I guess maybe I don't blame them.. Sorry you are going through this, but you MUST REMAIN calm. You cannot be yelling at the staff. Again, I'm sorry. But if you were yelling at my husband, I would hope he would politely suggest you go see another doctor..

 

I think your husband needs to go with you. You sound like you are about to snap...

 

I would assume your husband wouldn't be the type of person to back a patient into a corner until she was snapping and defending herself like a wounded animal.

[Barb_]

No, but I've known people who tell big tales and I've witnessed things and what THEY said happened, did not. ( Not saying that is necessarily true of this poster...) I am just always relectant to blame the bad doctor on a one sided statement. But I'm biased... And yes, everyone loves my hubby because he has great bedside manners. I'll be praying for the poster. Because even her posts here sound a bit hysterical and over the top...

 

I can understand how this thread could make you feel sensitive, but siding with the office staff and calling the original poster hysterical (twice) on her support thread is neither supportive nor helpful.

[Jennifer3141]

I would assume your husband wouldn't be the type of person to back a patient into a corner until she was snapping and defending herself like a wounded animal.

 

 

My DH is a doctor too. That's how I know the whacko ones to never refer my friends or family to. :D

 

And I agree that the OP has sounded hysterical at times on this board but here's the thing - this doctor's practice should be used to it. And they should actively be trying to calm that hysteria. They are unable to do so because of a complete breakdown somewhere along the way. It might have been the OP's fault. It might have been the doctor's fault. Heck, it could very well have been someone on the office staff. That is no longer relevant.

 

This is a patient with multiple MC in her past, based upon her siggie. Unless she doctor shops or is completley lying here, this phsyician must be aware of the history and must be aware of what happens to many women when they MC. It can unhinge the best of us (ask me how I know this. :( )

 

All that matters now is that the relationship is severed and the patient wants their records. She needs to get them and move on.

[Guest]

Seekinghim45, how horrible to call someone going through a miscarriage hysterical! Have you ever been through one? If not, then you need to be quiet. If you have, then maybe you are just better than everyone else, which is how you are coming off as... someone who is tooting their horn or something. To me, your post just sounded like you wanted to talk about your husband being a doctor. Have some sympathy, here... the woman is hurting!

 

This doctor should be used to hurting patients and never should have let it turn to this, and even if it did, should be able to handle the situation and make her feel better!

[ZeeMommy]

By law the lab has to give you a copy of your results. You can go to the business office of the lab and sign for them. They are your results. You have the right to have them to take to another doctor is you want.

 

 

Yes - the lab by law does have to give you a copy. But the lab (generally speaking, and I work as a medical lab tech at a clinic) doesn't give out copies of lab results because the lab doesn't really know what the medical situation is, why the tests were ordered (beyond a general diagnosis), and what the doctor has or hasn't said to the patient yet. BUT DO call up the medical records office, ask for the form for release of information, and get the results. Unfortunately, that will take probably take some time to get that paper with the results on it. You can be a polite "pest" though! Another doctor would be able to call the original lab and get a copy of the results too.

 

Personally, I'd switch doctors. Find someone considerate and caring, maybe even a midwife. I'd go to the financial office, or whatever they call it at the hospital where you were, and ask them how they can work with you in paying the bill. Ask if there's any financial aid and what the qualifications are. Register a complaint at the hospital, when you can speak a little calmly, and tell them what happened and why it was so distressing to you, and what they need to change. If they won't take a complaint, then try through here http://www.jointcomm..._complaint.aspx. It's supposed to be healthCARE, not a medical warehouse.

 

Dealing with hospitals/doctors/labs etc sucks! :mad: One of the crappiest experiences of my life was being sick with colitis while pregnant with my first son. Usually when you need it the most, there's more than just something physically wrong. Something is usually going wrong that we never wanted to go wrong or thought we'd have to deal with. Sickness and death has a huge emotional face that's too easy for a lot of medical professionals to forget, in the whole checklist of "here's what we have to do for this patient". If I ever do that to a patient, I hope someone kicks me in the posterior, hard!

[BakersDozen]

I guess as a doctor's wife I will chime in and say... we are only seeing one side. She sounds a bit hysterical even on here. She says she was yelling... I guess maybe I don't blame them.. Sorry you are going through this, but you MUST REMAIN calm. You cannot be yelling at the staff. Again, I'm sorry. But if you were yelling at my husband, I would hope he would politely suggest you go see another doctor..

For the record, I never snapped or yelled at my OB's office staff. Not even once. I did not snap or yell at anyone until my OB had me on the phone and was telling me that the E.R. doctor (the one who asked me what was wrong when I started crying at the news of a blighted ovum) said I "stormed" out of the E.R. I had many times I could have lost it with a doctor/nurse/staff, but I was quiet and calm (despite what I post here...maybe it's because I posted "hysterically" here that I could keep control with people IRL). I was so calm that I came across as rude when the reality was that I didn't want anyone to talk to me because all they offered were useless words of encouragement and hope. When my OB said what she did yet having only a smidge of the story (which she herself admitted she had not heard the rest), I snapped. Everything I have experienced, felt, been through since Jan. 1st burst and I cried and I yelled. I was not in her office and would never have done that in her office or to anyone's face. I did feel cornered and ignored and misunderstood.

 

My OB has never had a loss, I discovered. It's one thing to have hundreds of patients who have a loss, but to be on this side of things is completely different. She does not understand. She tried to help me in her own way but it didn't work. I've been with my OB since 2004, she has seen me through 5 pregnancies. She knows me as a patient as a person. Yet something broke down in the communication and in the way she was trying to meet my needs.

 

As for my being hysterical...without going through every detail, let me recap: hcg levels awesome, then not, then blighted ovum diagnosis (at horrid E.R.), then development, then not, then spotting and thinking m/c starting, then not, then waiting...and waiting...and waiting. D&C schedule then cancelled due to fear and other concerns. Then hcg test that shows levels have not budged and phone call from OB who has no clue as to everything that has gone on and no understanding as to the grief one feels during even a "normal" loss. I've been nauseous and exhausted since Dec. 12th. I've been hysterical, but only on this forum. I have not lost it with my family, I have not cried with friends or my dh. I have gotten up every morning even though I don't want to, I have schooled and maintained my household even while pushing aside my grief. If anything I've been eerily calm and detached...except for here. This forum is safe. I can release everything here and know that there are many who understand, who've btdt and do not condemn me for what I am saying/feeling.

 

I've come through 9 losses, only one of which was similar emotionally/mentally to this one. This loss has been prolonged and confusing, and I am spent...I am done. And I am sad. The last thing I needed was a dreadful E.R. experience, non-understanding medical professional, and hope that meant nothing.

 

I finally have a good update: Today I met with the kindest male doctor who assured me that the D&C will be fine, not to worry, addressed every concern I had, took TWENTY minutes in his office with me, and told me he admired the amount of time I had waited for the process to happen naturally. I cried (not hysterically). This man has never had a baby or a loss (obviously), yet he showed more compassion and understanding than my previous female OB. D&C is scheduled for next Friday. Oh, and the lady taking my information for the procedure did not jump into insurance info; she looked right at me and gently asked how I was doing. No one in my OB's office did that. Not once. When I just shook my head and got tears in my eyes, she said it was OK and let me have some time to recover myself.

 

For those who have found my posts "hysterical"...well, yes, I guess I was. I was scared and angry, confused and battered (if that makes sense). I thank you who have encouraged me, sent me PMs, prayed for me, etc. I come back and reread those posts almost every day for strength and to remind myself that I am not alone. I've been weepy all evening but it is not from grief, rather relief. Today I was listened to. Today I was with a medical professional who was safe with my heart. For the first time since Jan. 1st I am not angry or confused, not stressed at all.

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I have never experienced anything like the level of awfulness from medical staff that you have gone through. The closest I got was a Dr. who thought it would be a great idea to give me a before, during and after photos of my miscarriage all mounted on card nicely. He was so impressed on how he had captured the whole thing. (I guess from a medical perspective it might be interesting) .He could not understand at all that I completely broke down and told him he could keep it.

I am so glad that you found a nice kind Dr.

[AlmiraGulch]

I'm so relieved at your update. That may sound strange, given that this whole ordeal has been so awful, and the outcome doesn't change, but to finally have a plan and some compassion....well, everyone deserves that.

 

I wish you nothing but peace.

[justasque]

Today I was listened to. Today I was with a medical professional who was safe with my heart. For the first time since Jan. 1st I am not angry or confused, not stressed at all.

 

:grouphug:

I am so glad to hear you have found someone to help you through this with understanding and compassion.

:grouphug:

[Soror]

I'm so happy to read some good news for you in this horrible situation. Thank goodness you found a decent medical professional. I'm so sorry for your loss.