Scarlett Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 If anyone has an update that they can pm I'd appreciate it. Worried about them all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Talked to Astrid this morning. I'll let her know you are asking :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I have been thinking of and praying for both, hoping all is well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 10, 2013 Author Share Posted January 10, 2013 I just saw Julie's thread from yesterday discussing new career paths...so I guess that tells me something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I've been thinking of them as well. Hugs and well wishes to both families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Thanks for asking. I've also been wondering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I spoke to Astrid in a pm and she sounded good. Hope she will chime in here when she gets a chance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I've been thinking a lot about both of them. Girls, come let us know how you're doing when you get the chance! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I have been thinking about them, too. I was glad to see Julie's new career path thread, because it's heartening to know that she is taking control of her situation and getting prepared for whatever her future may hold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Continuing in prayer for Julie and Astrid's families and needs... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I've heard about and PM'd a bit with Astrid, but I missed what's going on with Julie. Could someone PM so I can pray for her? thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Wow--- I continue to just be so humbled by the prayers, good thoughts, love and light in which we are being held by so many. Update-- we are doing well. Dd continues to amaze us with her maturity and her ability to keep it all together. She goes to school, enjoys her friends, and just today auditioned for the female lead in the school production of "The Music Man," singing "Goodnight, My Someone" a capella. She was called back and read for the part as well as two others. (She can't dance a lick though, so THAT could be problematic! :-) She's keeping herself busy and getting on with life, and we're letting her do that, though I do worry that she's just filing it away and pretending things are normal, repressing her feelings. She said she worries about US, so I don't want her to put on an act to make us THINK she's doing okay but really isn't. We touch base with her all the time, and I feel like I"m walking a fine line between smothering (which I WANT TO DO!!!) and just sweeping it under the rug, which I know I'm not doing but I don't want her to think we are and start doing it herself. Yikes that's a lot of psychobabble! I hope it makes some kind of sense! Anyway, she's sleeping better, and her anxiety (which was an issue before the whole incident) has been okay. Not much hair pulling, so that's a good thing. I'm sleeping better too. I'm reminded every hour how blessed I am to have such a kind, gentle, compassionate husband, because his shoulders have been bearing so much of this burden for all of us. I think I was operating in crisis mode for the first couple of days, and just yesterday I started to fall apart bit by bit at odd times-- driving home from work, sorting laundry, etc. The worry is exhausting, and just when I'm at work and having a "moment" I'll get a sweet text from dh, so that's helping. A wise Hive-er told me the other day that it's ok to fall apart, because what comes back together is stronger and more beautiful than before. Great advice, and I'm trying to let myself cry on dh's shoulder at night. It's got to come out-- the anger, the worry, the grief. Dh and I are finding it's very much a process of grief. So that's a long, rambling reply to say that we're doing okay-- really. Thanks for your continued prayers and good thoughts-- they help more than you know, and more than I could ever express. Hugs, astrid and family Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Astrid, Thanks so much for the update. Continuing to pray for all of you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Astrid, I am so glad to see your update. It sounds like you guys are handling it well. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poiema Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Astrid, I am in tears every time I read a post from you. I am so amazed with how your family is handling this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltop Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Astrid, I never got a chance to reply on the original thread before it was deleted, but wanted you to know I have been praying for you and your family as well. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Astrid, I'm so glad your daugter is doing well! Have you made any legal decisions that you can talk about? Here's hoping justice is done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 Wow--- I continue to just be so humbled by the prayers, good thoughts, love and light in which we are being held by so many. Update-- we are doing well. Dd continues to amaze us with her maturity and her ability to keep it all together. She goes to school, enjoys her friends, and just today auditioned for the female lead in the school production of "The Music Man," singing "Goodnight, My Someone" a capella. She was called back and read for the part as well as two others. (She can't dance a lick though, so THAT could be problematic! :-) She's keeping herself busy and getting on with life, and we're letting her do that, though I do worry that she's just filing it away and pretending things are normal, repressing her feelings. She said she worries about US, so I don't want her to put on an act to make us THINK she's doing okay but really isn't. We touch base with her all the time, and I feel like I"m walking a fine line between smothering (which I WANT TO DO!!!) and just sweeping it under the rug, which I know I'm not doing but I don't want her to think we are and start doing it herself. Yikes that's a lot of psychobabble! I hope it makes some kind of sense! Anyway, she's sleeping better, and her anxiety (which was an issue before the whole incident) has been okay. Not much hair pulling, so that's a good thing. I'm sleeping better too. I'm reminded every hour how blessed I am to have such a kind, gentle, compassionate husband, because his shoulders have been bearing so much of this burden for all of us. I think I was operating in crisis mode for the first couple of days, and just yesterday I started to fall apart bit by bit at odd times-- driving home from work, sorting laundry, etc. The worry is exhausting, and just when I'm at work and having a "moment" I'll get a sweet text from dh, so that's helping. A wise Hive-er told me the other day that it's ok to fall apart, because what comes back together is stronger and more beautiful than before. Great advice, and I'm trying to let myself cry on dh's shoulder at night. It's got to come out-- the anger, the worry, the grief. Dh and I are finding it's very much a process of grief. So that's a long, rambling reply to say that we're doing okay-- really. Thanks for your continued prayers and good thoughts-- they help more than you know, and more than I could ever express. Hugs, astrid and family Thank you for the update. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Umm...I have been hiding out, lurking once in a while, because I have no good news to report, and I'm not sure what to say about that. Nothing has changed in terms of my personal situation, though things are definitely changing for me emotionally. Each day that goes by leaves me more able to see a life without my dh, and with a clearer idea of where I need to go from here. Facing what is (there's no sense in me denying it or calling it anything else) complete public humiliation has been, in the truest sense of the word, completely humbling. I know that people irl mean it kindly, but I'm already weary of them looking at me with pity and sadness on my behalf. In the past, I've said (here, and irl) that being offended is a choice. You can choose to let jerks get you down, or you can choose to rise above the fray, take a bit of a philosophical view of the situation, and choose not to be offended. Well, I think I've come to the conclusion that sadness is a bit the same way. Why should I give any other person the power to turn me into a broken, sad, and miserable version of the person I used to be? They can only do that if I let them. It's bad enough to have been betrayed and wronged, but even worse if I give away who I am and who I have been all my life, to...her? Him? I don't know exactly what's coming next (though we can all guess), or when, but what I do know is that regardless of what actually comes to pass in the outward trappings my life, I'm getting a little bit stronger every day. For now, I find myself satisfied with that, and I'm cutting myself some slack with regard to taking any permanent action about my marriage (or lack thereof). I can, after all, kick his @ss to the curb any time I'm darn good & ready, and not as a purely knee-jerk reaction to an emotional situation. So, what's my update? Not much, I guess, looking at it objectively. If you could see it from behind my eyes though, there's all manner of interesting changes going on. For now, that's good enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Julie, :grouphug: . Astrid, :grouphug: . Thanks for the updates. Continuing to keep you both in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Hugs to you both. Julie and Astrid, you're facing very different situations, but for both of you, your strength is just shining through. Please know that we're all here and thinking of both of you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kiddies Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 I've been wondering about both as well but was uncomfortable pm'ing them so I'm glad to see these updates. I'm curious as well as to whether legal action is being pursued in Astrids case? I certainly hope so.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Hugs and best wishes to all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Peace and strength to both of you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 :grouphug: Astrid, thanks for taking time to update. I'm praying here for your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 11, 2013 Share Posted January 11, 2013 Julie, I just saw you updated too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 11, 2013 Author Share Posted January 11, 2013 Umm...I have been hiding out, lurking once in a while, because I have no good news to report, and I'm not sure what to say about that. Nothing has changed in terms of my personal situation, though things are definitely changing for me emotionally. Each day that goes by leaves me more able to see a life without my dh, and with a clearer idea of where I need to go from here. Facing what is (there's no sense in me denying it or calling it anything else) complete public humiliation has been, in the truest sense of the word, completely humbling. I know that people irl mean it kindly, but I'm already weary of them looking at me with pity and sadness on my behalf. In the past, I've said (here, and irl) that being offended is a choice. You can choose to let jerks get you down, or you can choose to rise above the fray, take a bit of a philosophical view of the situation, and choose not to be offended. Well, I think I've come to the conclusion that sadness is a bit the same way. Why should I give any other person the power to turn me into a broken, sad, and miserable version of the person I used to be? They can only do that if I let them. It's bad enough to have been betrayed and wronged, but even worse if I give away who I am and who I have been all my life, to...her? Him? I don't know exactly what's coming next (though we can all guess), or when, but what I do know is that regardless of what actually comes to pass in the outward trappings my life, I'm getting a little bit stronger every day. For now, I find myself satisfied with that, and I'm cutting myself some slack with regard to taking any permanent action about my marriage (or lack thereof). I can, after all, kick his @ss to the curb any time I'm darn good & ready, and not as a purely knee-jerk reaction to an emotional situation. So, what's my update? Not much, I guess, looking at it objectively. If you could see it from behind my eyes though, there's all manner of interesting changes going on. For now, that's good enough. This is really good news Julie. It is very freeing to reach a place emotionally where no other person is going to control your happiness and your peace. Until you reach that point you are trapped by your own paralyzing fear. Fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of the unknown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Julie-- you're in my thoughts every day. I'm hearing the voice of a stronger person in your post, and I want to say I'm in awe of your strength of character and resolve. Sending hugs! astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: to both of you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Umm...I have been hiding out, lurking once in a while, because I have no good news to report, and I'm not sure what to say about that. Nothing has changed in terms of my personal situation, though things are definitely changing for me emotionally. Each day that goes by leaves me more able to see a life without my dh, and with a clearer idea of where I need to go from here. Facing what is (there's no sense in me denying it or calling it anything else) complete public humiliation has been, in the truest sense of the word, completely humbling. I know that people irl mean it kindly, but I'm already weary of them looking at me with pity and sadness on my behalf. In the past, I've said (here, and irl) that being offended is a choice. You can choose to let jerks get you down, or you can choose to rise above the fray, take a bit of a philosophical view of the situation, and choose not to be offended. Well, I think I've come to the conclusion that sadness is a bit the same way. Why should I give any other person the power to turn me into a broken, sad, and miserable version of the person I used to be? They can only do that if I let them. It's bad enough to have been betrayed and wronged, but even worse if I give away who I am and who I have been all my life, to...her? Him? I don't know exactly what's coming next (though we can all guess), or when, but what I do know is that regardless of what actually comes to pass in the outward trappings my life, I'm getting a little bit stronger every day. For now, I find myself satisfied with that, and I'm cutting myself some slack with regard to taking any permanent action about my marriage (or lack thereof). I can, after all, kick his @ss to the curb any time I'm darn good & ready, and not as a purely knee-jerk reaction to an emotional situation. So, what's my update? Not much, I guess, looking at it objectively. If you could see it from behind my eyes though, there's all manner of interesting changes going on. For now, that's good enough. amen sister amen its being able to imagine something that makes it possible. head and heart work are the hardest of all, and it sounds like you are on your way. it reminds me of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 You are both such amazing, strong people! You are in my thoughts. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Astrid: :grouphug: and prayers. Julie: :grouphug: and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Thinking with care for Julie and Astrid both. Cross-stitching my fingers off for a quilt square. :) It's a form of prayer for Astrid's dd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemywhirlygirls Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 Keeping you ladies and your families in my prayers. Sending hugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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