KellyGirl Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 My ds 13 (who attends public school now) was diagnosed with testicular cancer Thursday. He goes in for a biopsy and a chemo port tomorrow morning. The doctors are confident that he will make a full recovery and being playing football again in the fall. The last several days have been a whirlwind, but as I come up for air I'm realizing that I need to figure out something for homeschooling. The public school has been amazing, supportive, and flexible, so I have no concerns for the education of ds 13. But I have 4 younger kids at home: an advanced 3rd grader, a foot dragging 2nd grader, a 3yo and a 17month old. If you have walked a similar path, I'd love to hear from you about things like how you managed school, what we can expect during treatment, things you did or people did for you that were helpful...For treatment we are looking at inpatient chemo 3-5 days at a time every 3-4 weeks. For school I'm considering asking my mom to pay for several months of Time4Learning for the middle kids. That would ensure that they can get something done regularly and I can supplement with more academic stuff as I am able. Ds13 did use T4L a little bit when he was in the elementary years. Are there other options that would be better but not too much more expensive? We have an AMAZING church that is very supportive, so I know we'll be okay, but I could use help thinking things out, so I appeal to the hive :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LNC Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I'm soooooo sorry. I will pray for you all. Similar health issues with older siblings, not cancer. I highly recommend Christian Light LA and Math. Portable, excellent, teaches to the student. It is been a lifesaver for us with many hospitalizations and appointments. I would just watch Magic School Bus and science documentaries with Liberty's Kids for history. You could compile a list of readers to go along with Colonial and Revolutionary time period, plus reading list children's classics for literature. You could probably compile a nice free list of literature to read on a Kindle or other app for even more portability. Hth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rutamattatt Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I don't have any brilliant recommendations, but just wanted to say it sounds like you already have a really good plan brewing! Praying for you all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I have no btdt advice, but wanted to send (((hugs))) and prayers your way. My youngest used T4L last year when I was trying to get my middle ds's senior year stuff wrapped up. It is easy to supplement and will meet the current needs of your family. At 8 and 7, even if they do very little now, they will be fine. Focus on getting that big boy to football next year! Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 We went through something similar. ^DD^ had cancer. ....and we had a 2nd round this fall where I was on hospital bedrest and then I was gone with a baby in NICU. Round 1: I wrote out all of my lesson plans in advance and had family and friends step in during the hospitalizations. Someone needed to be with the kids anyway as the others couldn't be with me at the hospital. During days where it was only radiation or only labdraws and physicals, we kept homeschooling normally on a light schedule. We just fit everything in to either the morning or the afternoon. Round 2: I learned to chill a bit. The kids did math and reading and handwriting only for a few months. They listened to some SOTW and watched some Netflix science shows. We are still working back to the full schedule as we still have a lot of doctor appointments because of dd's prematurity. Academically, they are fine. It was a lot less stressful for me, and everybody was happier. Helpful: mealtrain: online scheduler for meals to be coordinated for family who will bring you food--highly recommend that when people offer to help out, you let them know that a meal would be lovely and tell them about mealtrain. If your son's ANC drops really low, recommend that they bring freezer meals that you can heat up yourself so that you know he's not being exposed to germs while he's medically fragile. caringbridge.org: keep an online journal so people don't call you a billion times a day wondering how he's doing. I never minded the calls from close family, but the ones from people I barely knew at church always lasted so long, and my time really was needed elsewhere. cozi: an app where anyone you select can see your family's schedule, to-do list, grocery list, meal plans, etc.....very helpful for communicating between husband/wife/caregivers what all is going on in a busy home. smart phone: I use my iphone to keep in the notes section a list of current meds, dates of relevant tests/treatments/etc. I also keep a big medical binder (which they will likely give you at the hospital), but having a cliff notes version is great. I also kept a $1 calendar in my medical binder where I could write in medical doses during rounds of steroids as the taper schedule is really complicated. Seriously, the $1 calendar helped me keep my dd's meds straight more than anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KellyGirl Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 prairiewindmomma, great advice! I should probably get an audio version of SOTW. We already have a caringbridge.org page, and they have a meal scheduler, too. I put a really good friend in charge of that. I have an iPhone, so I will have to check out the cozi app. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I love Time4Learning, and I think it would be perfect for your family while you are dealing with everything. I would add SOTW audio and some other audiobooks for the kids to listen to. ((Hugs)) and prayers for your son and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 good plan on Time 4 learning. I'd also write down for each kid a daily checklist. it would include things like Do 1 lesson of math. Do handwriting for 10 minutes. Read for 20 minutes. Do spelling city for 20 minutes per day or write spelling words. This would be a generic list that would be monday through friday. I agree on the audio version of SOTW. I had my readers follow along in their books with the cd. Personally, for my kids, it would be tempting to completely dump school during this time, but actually having a structure like school is better. My kids need the structure even in chaos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 So sorry your family is walking this path. :( My son had leukemia, and he was on treatment for over three years, so yea we had to change plans lol. Since your son is looking at a short treatment I would focus on the basics and the emotional well being of the kids. My oldest was only 7 when we started that scary time, but it took several months before she could focus on school or even not worry when we had to leave her. The five of us crammed into the hospital room a lot just to help keep dd from being anxious. It will not take long before you get really good at schooling everywhere. Sme call it the new normal, and it is odd how normal it begins to feel after a while. There were days we were at the clinic from 8-5 and transferred to a hospital room to finish platelet transfusions or whatever, and we brought our school stuff and plopped on the floor (on a blanket that we took home and bleached lol) to do our school work. People look at you weird when you come into the ER with a bag of schoolwork for the kids, but whatever. The biggest thing is be flexible. Every fever will require evaluation, planned hospital stays can get extended, and kids will randomly have a breakdown over fears that you cannot 'fix' or promise will not happen. Some days school will just not happen, and that is ok. Weeks when brother is hospitalized will be emotionally hard for the other kids, and school may not happen, and that is ok. My kids made it thought that time with more knowledge than when they started, and they are doing very well academically several years after treatment ended. They learned how strong we are as a family, and they now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they can trust us to do the very best for them, and those lessons are far more important than a few math lessons, so be gentle with yourself and your family during this time. Hugs to you. Feel free to PM me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 So, so, sorry! Look into Dreambox. It's very kid friendly and you don't have to do anything with it. Reading Eggs for your younger one maybe? Lots and lots of books. Of this is really going to be "over" by fall, I'd just find something they can keep up with for math and just read and have experiences together. I really wouldn't stress about doing enough, as they are kept busy enough for you to do what you need to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 I'm very, very sorry. CLE for math and LA are nice and portable. Preschooler, just grab some inexpensive workbooks (dry erase is also fun) and let him/her go. Also I imagine there are tons of apps, Starfall.com, and LeapFrog vids for both of your youngers. You might also try a Leapster tablet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted January 8, 2013 Share Posted January 8, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: I am so sorry you are facing this challenge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KellyGirl Posted January 10, 2013 Author Share Posted January 10, 2013 Thanks so much for all of your kind words. He came through surgery fine, and I am home with DH and the other kids while his bio dad stays with him tonight. dwkilburn1, you've given me lots to think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Glad to hear surgery went well. The port will be such a wonderful thing. It saves lots of veins. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I am so sorry. :grouphug: It is wonderful he came out of surgery okay. I am not in your situation, but for other reasons we take quite a bit of schoolwork with us when we are on the go. Ones that work really well for us are: Horizons Math, Brain Quest workbooks, and Life of Fred. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsuz123 Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Hugs to you. I will pray for your family and hope all goes well. Your plan sounds great to me, although I haven't BTDT. Keep us posted on his progress so we can celebrate with you when all is done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2OandE Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 No advice but I wanted to let you know I will be praying for your ds and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stm4him Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I'm not sure my curriculum advice would apply since I am a CC Mom all the way, but I wanted to say that my 8 yo son was diagnosed with leukemia in September so I can relate. The treatment has not been as bad as I thought it would be or as bad as they made it sound (but we have been VERY fortunate so far as kids don't usually do as well as ours has with the treatment). Ours will be a 3 year journey so we are still at the beginning. I have 4 kids of similar ages to yours. I would just have them do lots of reading, do their math worksheets and any independent workbooks they can pull off. For language arts I would not worry about grammar and just make sure they have a good phonics and spelling basis. You can work on that on days you are home. Let them write short narrations after they finish a book and give them free reading from a list. Watch videos and do self-paced history or SOTW audios for history. Let them write letters or a journal entry once a week for additional writing. Give them quality copywork to do. Have book discussions and integrate basic literature terms, finding the main idea in a passage, etc. Have them notebook about what they are reading. Give them a science topic for the week and a history topic of the week. Do one fine arts and one science experiment per week with them and discuss it together on the days you are home. And don't feel guilty about what you don't do. I'm still learning to let go but simplifying my list of curriculum to get through this year really helped take pressure off. Also, I know the Lord doesn't want us to just endure this trial but to draw nearer to Him through it and be an example to our kids and others of how to thank the Lord through our tears and come out changed; to submit to His purposes and His will and trust Him to know what is best. These are life lessons that exceed anything academic we could ever do with them....... I'll be praying for your son as I pray for mine...... P.S. Don't underestimate the impact on siblings. They will likely need you much more, and filling those needs are more important than other things. I have to tell myself to be Mary, not Martha in this time for my kids....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readinmom Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 You've already gotten lots of great advice. I just stopped by to give you a :grouphug: . We've homeschooled through my parents terminal illnesses and I know how tough it is. Since it hopefully isn't a really long term thing, I would be be very gentle with your family and school. Focus on emotions and healing. I'm glad to hear surgery went well and I'm sure you already know the great cure rates on testicular cancer, but I thought I'd throw in a positive story. My friend who had testicular cancer in his early 20s was really only down for a few months and has the most beautiful wife and daughter today. Best wishes to your ds and the rest of the family as you deal with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*LC Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Hugs and prayers for your family. You have received great advice from people who have BTDT. We have BTDT with my husband a number of years ago, so my thoughts are based on looking back on that crazy tme. I would not plan on buying any new curriculum or program. I would focus entirely on math and reading (or English for the advanced 3rd grader). I am not familar with math mammoth, but if it is a workbook have the kids do a page a day. You or your mom do the instruction just on the days that it works for you. Tell the kids to skip problems that have new concepts, you will go back over them later. Have the older one do the same for language. Have the younger one read the Abeka readers to you or your mom when available; don't worry about any of the instruction that goes along with it unless it works for you on a particular day. If you are able to buy a SOTW audio and/or some science videos those would be great additions. I understand what a PP said about structure/routine being good, and if you find you and the kids need that you can always do spelling power and WWE on the days that it works. I know I sound like a total slacker. My husband was in the hospital for basically two months when our older kids were 6th, 3rd, and 1st. I was at the hospital everyday, and they were cared for by a girl who had recently graduated college during the day and church members at night. I honesly don't remember what I told the babysitter about school. I "know" that I would have wanted them to keep going with my plans, but other than math and a fun co-op I don't know what they did. I do know my oldest started a 1-day homeschool school during this time that did give her some structured work that she could do on her own. She did okay, but not spectatcularly, in it. After my husband died, there were about seven weeks left in the schoolyear, and I remember stressing and trying to complete all our unfinished work. But, all I remmber really doing was math, along with some reading with the 1st grader. In the fall, we started the new school year as if we never missed anything, meaning the 1st grader moved to 2nd grad math and so on. It worked. In fact, over the summer the now 2nd grader had experience a big jump in skills, and I had to change my plan for reading, because he was now reading so far ahead of what he was doing in the spring. Now I am going to give you the speech that your kids are young and missing some time academically won't be that big of a deal. I will back it up with our real-life experience. My then 6th grader is now a senior. She has been accepted with top merit aid at all 3 schools she has been accepted at so far. She applied to 2 other schools that she has not heard from yet; there is no doubt she will be accepted at either. She will finish in the top 10 percent of her class at a well-regarded academic high school. If she had started on the public school track in junior high, she would have finished even higher as she has made only 2 Bs during high school. Through testing and dual enrollment, she will enter college with 30+ hours of credit at her top-choice school. My then 3rd grader just started public school for the first time in 9th grade. He is at the same school as my senior. He made all As and 1 B. All that bragging on my kids is to reassure you that kids who have a significant break from structured school for a crisis situation (ours was an entire semester) can go on to do well in high school, when it really counts. I can say with complete confidence that my senior wouldn't have tested any higher, made any better grades, etc., if she had a normal 6th grade year. So do what is right for your family during this difficult time. I also have a testicular cancer survivor story for you. A friend, who was diagnosed our senior year in college, took reduced course load while he was undergoing chemo a state away from school. It has been 20+ years, and he is a longtime minister with 3 adorable kids/teens. More hugs. It is never easy to watch your child hurting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 :grouphug: My prayers are with you and your family. Glad to hear that the surgery went well. When my mother fell and broke her pelvis, I had to visit her every day at the rehab center to cheer her on as she was a reluctant participant and I didn't want her to get labeled as a difficult patient or to lose her Medicare benefits for refusing to do her rehab. My mom paid for me to hire a tutor so I hired someone (a family friend who was a college student) to come over frequently and work with my children (mostly dd who was 8 at the time.) I had lesson plans laid out for the main stuff (mostly reading and math for dd and just to keep the older boys (12 and 14) on track. I kept a box full of fun filler such as books on tape, short documentaries, puzzles, etc. This really helped us keep making progress when I was otherwise occupied. Having others bring meals will also be helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 Hugs and prayers for you and your whole family. All I can say, from dealing with my own cancer for the past 3 months, is don't worry about the school so much. Take care of your 13 year old and yourself, and accept whatever help people are willing to give. Your other kids are young enough that watching some videos, reading some books and practicing what math they've already learned is not going to hurt them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidbits of Learning Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I have no experience with a child with cancer, but when my mother got cancer and we relocated for several months during her surgery and beginning chemo...we just took our regular school with us and worked as we could. The pp was correct that sometimes hospital stays will get extended, things won't go as planned, or just life happens on top of the cancer treatments. My children spent a lot of time being watched by relatives. School was very hit or miss. I made sure we got library cards and the kids had books. Will your kids be with you during the treatments? Will a relative watch them? It would be hard to keep up with time 4 learning on computers if you are at the hospital. It might be hard for a relative to monitor schooling or internet use while watching the children also. Those would be things that I would think about before spending the money. There was no way that my children would have gotten any school done at relatives houses with cousins so purchasing a computer school program would not have gotten any more school work done for us. I know for us there were several times where we were rotating shifts to stay at the hospital with my mom and it was just not possible to think about school at all. There was also times that we were home and I just was not in school mode. I really don't know how much actual "schooling" we accomplished during those few months. I do know it did not hurt the kids school wise. I had a 4th grader that year that was required to test. I was so nervous about it b/c I knew we really hadn't schooled well from February on that year. She did just fine. All this to say, a few months with hit or miss school in the short term probably won't hinder in the long term. Praying for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 You've got some great advice here. We've not deal with cancer but had a LOT of hospital time and I second the love of Port-a-caths, so much easier on everyone. Get good read-a-louds and plenty of satisfying, comforting books for hospital waiting times, we also bought a ebook reader and filled it with books and a had a heap of audio books for when energy levels are really down and they need escapism. Check librivox for some good free ones. Here's one of our favourites to get you started... http://librivox.org/railway-children-by-e-nesbit/ This is good for all your family. My youngest spent years back and fro to hospital with me when her sister was in and schoolwork was a poor 2nd for both kids (and me). We did lots of reading though. At that age they catch up fast and you don't need the stress of thinking they are getting behind. They really don't stop learning when they aren't doing (much/any) schoolwork. Once all this is behind you, you can reassess and work out what you need to do. The resiliance and life-skills that will come with this journey are beyond any curriculum. This sucks. The shock would be hard on you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristinannie Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 I just wanted to say that my prayers are with your family. God bless you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrseshaw Posted January 14, 2013 Share Posted January 14, 2013 Hugs from another cancer mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KellyGirl Posted January 25, 2013 Author Share Posted January 25, 2013 I wanted to stop back to thank everyone for their advice and give an update. ds has completed his first round of chemo - it was 3 nights in the hospital last week. He was really tired, and got a little nauseous a couple of times, but overall he did really well with it. Tumor markers are going down and the tumor in his belly is definitely getting smaller, and so far blood counts are ok. My prayer is that we will only have to go through it 3 more times. I ended up signing the middle kids up for a month of T4L, but I don't think we'll keep it. I think I can tweak our existing curriculum to work through most of the year, and if we end up behind we can always catch up over the summer. I am seriously considering pausing SOTW at the Revolutionary War (which we will hit in a week or two) and letting the kids watch Liberty Kids and do lots of reading on the war. I think we could easily spend a few months on the Revolution. But I think that overall, they need the structure and the interaction with me whenever they can get it. And today I had an 8th and 9th grade helper at the house who both said they were doing the same thing in math as my almost 9yo (basic equations). And when I asked them to help my kids label eastern border states on a US map, they needed to find a labeled map before they could help...so I think my kids will be fine! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pod's mum Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 You sound stronger today. The last few weeks must have been tough. Glad to hear your confidence is returning and growing. As Winston Churchill said, "When you are going through Hell, keep walking." (Thanks for the update, we'll keep you all in our prayers.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I have no advice, but I just wanted to see my prayers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atozmom Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 I have no adivce just wanted to offer :grouphug: . I will be praying for complete healing for your son and grace, peace, comfort and strength for you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 I wanted to stop back to thank everyone for their advice and give an update. ds has completed his first round of chemo - it was 3 nights in the hospital last week. He was really tired, and got a little nauseous a couple of times, but overall he did really well with it. Tumor markers are going down and the tumor in his belly is definitely getting smaller, and so far blood counts are ok. My prayer is that we will only have to go through it 3 more times. I ended up signing the middle kids up for a month of T4L, but I don't think we'll keep it. I think I can tweak our existing curriculum to work through most of the year, and if we end up behind we can always catch up over the summer. I am seriously considering pausing SOTW at the Revolutionary War (which we will hit in a week or two) and letting the kids watch Liberty Kids and do lots of reading on the war. I think we could easily spend a few months on the Revolution. But I think that overall, they need the structure and the interaction with me whenever they can get it. And today I had an 8th and 9th grade helper at the house who both said they were doing the same thing in math as my almost 9yo (basic equations). And when I asked them to help my kids label eastern border states on a US map, they needed to find a labeled map before they could help...so I think my kids will be fine! My thoughts are with you and your family. If you plan on researching the American Revolution, I recommend Jean Fritz's books and Schoolhouse rock. My kids impressed the Duck Tour Guides in Boston with their knowledge based in no small part on Fritz's books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisabees Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Thinking about you and your ds. Any updates? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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