Sctigermom Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Oir middle child is a 4 yr old girl (5 on jan 2). She is so destructive and what she doesn't destroy toy wise she just doesn't play with. We are at a loss on what to get her for Christmas. Last Christmas we got her calico critters, a Waldorf doll, dress up, and some hand carved animals. The calico's never got played with, the Waldorf doll gets played with by her brother, the dress up she uses occasionally, and the animals she gave to her brother. My mom bought her a bedroom set (which she promptly destroyed) and my inlaws gave her a Barbie house with babies. She broke the house and brought me the barbies to give away (her words). The only thing I have so far for Christmas is a pair of ice skates and lessons. We aren't extravagant Christmas givers. We tend to buy 4-6 nice toys plus Santa brings 1 big gift. Any ideas?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 legos?? maybe a kids punching bag, soccer boppers, little tykes remote control car Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 If she can 'safely' use it. (As in not destroy the house, or anything in the house) How about a destruction and construction box. Duct tape, scotch tape in a dispenser she can easily use, tin foil, card board boxes, toilet paper rolls, makers, ... all inside a cardboard box, inside an even larger box. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sctigermom Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 legos?? maybe a kids punching bag, soccer boppers, little tykes remote control car We have Legos both duplo and the regular and she doesn't touch them. I'm off to google soccer boppers though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara H Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Modeling clay - keep it stored when not in use but a good way to work out destructive energy. You could also get one of those Playdough sort of presses Stomp Rockets Basketball hoop - for indoors maybe one of those folding things made of nylon sort of material. That was a sanity saver for us at age four. Hippity Hop - the hopper ball with the handle - great for getting out energy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Hippity Hops were great for my boys at that age. How about a mini trampoline? Is she just hard on toys or willfully destructive? If she just plays hard I would get something that burns energy. If she is just plain destructive then I would consider playdough, clay, things that are not easily hurt. Maybe balls? Or would those just break lamps and such? I don't have any suggestions on the big Santa toy though. My boys didn't hit a destructive phase. But, I do have close friends who had this problem. I am very sympathetic to your situation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elinor Everywhere Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) Hippity Hop - the hopper ball with the handle - great for getting out energy. Yes, the Hippity Hop! Worked for me when I was a kid, and for both of my dc, as well. Love that Hippity Hop! I used to pretend mine was a horse, and I rode him for hours. :D Edited October 21, 2012 by Elinor Everywhere I really can spell. Honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Unit blocks. Kapla Blocks. Tonka trucks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Rainy day indoor 3 piece combo kit. It's a favorite around here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 A shovel and wheelbarrow? I have a daughter not much older and her favourite things to do are play with c-rods and shovel horse manure. (It is Spring and we're preparing the garden.) When there is no horse manure, she digs or carts around rocks. I don't know why, but I'm not going to complain. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dansamy Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) Fisher Price Little People, Playskool Weebles, Imaginext, Geotrax. If my youngest, 10 now, who could tear up an anvil still can't manage to tear these up, they're a good buy. Edited October 21, 2012 by dansamy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 She sounds like dramatic play is not her thing. How exactly is she destructive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sctigermom Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 She sounds like dramatic play is not her thing. How exactly is she destructive? Writes or draws on toys, rips holes in stuffed toys, breaks it open if possible, breaks off the doors/windows/railings of cars/trucks/houses, ect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 What does she like? When she does play, what does that look like? We had to set up a mini gym in the basement for one of mine. It had things like a mini trampoline, hammock swing, big vinyl covered foam blocks, big exercise balls, a thick air mattress that IKEA kids used to sell, etc. Also, my non-traditional "player" really liked Playmobil at that age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Writes or draws on toys, rips holes in stuffed toys, breaks it open if possible, breaks off the doors/windows/railings of cars/trucks/houses, ect. She wouldn't get anything in this house. Instead of what to buy shouldn't the goal be her learning respect for what she has? I am not trying to be rude or anything but why buy more when she destroys everything. I opened this thread thinking the kid likes to take stuff apart not just out right destroy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Writes or draws on toys, rips holes in stuffed toys, breaks it open if possible, breaks off the doors/windows/railings of cars/trucks/houses, ect. She sounds like my youngest. :D He always wants to know "why?" and "how?" He loves taking things apart. It used to annoy the diddle out of me to see him destroy stuff I spent hard earned money on; now that he is older and communicates better, it's like the light went on for me. I get why he did what he did with his toys. Now, it's one of the things I love, seeing his interest and exploring it. Plus, he's older now, and not quite so destructive because he can 'reuse' his extra pieces for other 'inventions'. PS I love the box idea, I'm so going to use it for Christmas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooCow Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 She wouldn't get anything in this house. Instead of what to buy shouldn't the goal be her learning respect for what she has? I am not trying to be rude or anything but why buy more when she destroys everything. I opened this thread thinking the kid likes to take stuff apart not just out right destroy it. well, yes, but here's the BUT :), my youngest didn't have the skills to take stuff apart without destroying it. He would ask for help, and I would get annoyed that he wanted to 'ruin' a perfectly good toy, so he'd do it on his own. Like I said, it took awhile before I caught on. :blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Writes or draws on toys, rips holes in stuffed toys, breaks it open if possible, breaks off the doors/windows/railings of cars/trucks/houses, ect. how about a few electrical things from the thrift shop, some screw drivers, etc.... to take it apart and try to put it back together again. an outdoor tether ball game? a game of horseshoes? does she ask for things? ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 well, yes, but here's the BUT :), my youngest didn't have the skills to take stuff apart without destroying it. He would ask for help, and I would get annoyed that he wanted to 'ruin' a perfectly good toy, so he'd do it on his own. Like I said, it took awhile before I caught on. :blushing: Your kid sounds curious this kid does not sound like this. Writing drawing on toys etc. That is not I wanna know how it works that is I am gonna tear it up. I would not spend money on a kid who would do this even at Christmas. My son has autism and liked taking everything to pieces but not just destroy it out right. To me that is a big difference. We live in an economy where there are kids starving and homeless I could never just throw money away like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Does she have some sensory seeking stuff going on? (You don't have to answer, of course.) I ask, because I've seen kids who draw on toys a lot--often they say it "feels good" to draw on the smooth plastic or on the fabric of toys. I've experienced this myself! ;) Tearing/ripping is another sensory behaviour. If so, maybe a sensory bin would be fun for her. She is not too old for lentils, waterplay, sand, etc. Giving her clear parameters for use would be important, but allowing lots of sensory-based play might be her kinda thing! The wheelbarrow/digging items and heavy work (weighted pendulums, pulleys with milk jugs to carry things in) might be really fun for her. Those super-big blocks might be good, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Writes or draws on toys, rips holes in stuffed toys, breaks it open if possible, breaks off the doors/windows/railings of cars/trucks/houses, ect. Wow, you are incredibly patient. If my kids had been that willfully destructive at that age...they would have been living in a room with a bed and nothing else. Kids who don't know how to take care of toys and appreciate them, don't get new toys in my world. And did I understand this correctly, because I just can't imagine that I did. She destroyed a bedroom set? As in furniture? That was given as a gift? :001_huh: My kids would have been punished for that sort of nonsense. Four is old enough to know better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In The Great White North Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Definitely the Hippity Hop. Playcloths (flannel not silk, so you can show her how to sew it back up when it rips) Beeswax, playdough, slime, etc. A bicycle A scooter A four square ball Sidewalk chalk A net to kick/throw balls into Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) Wow, you are incredibly patient. If my kids had been that willfully destructive at that age...they would have been living in a room with a bed and nothing else. Kids who don't know how to take care of toys and appreciate them, don't get new toys in my world. And did I understand this correctly, because I just can't imagine that I did. She destroyed a bedroom set? As in furniture? That was given as a gift? :001_huh: My kids would have been punished for that sort of nonsense. Four is old enough to know better. It happens. Sometimes there is absolutely NO WAY to correct the behavior. This is why my dd has no furniture at all in her room. OP: I wouldn't allow my destructive kid to play with Playdoh or modeling clay as she would intentionally make messes with it or ruin things with it. Our huge hits: Magnetix, Playfoam along with cake pans, muffin tins, rolling pins, etc. Another huge hit was bags of kidney beans and pasta along with real pots and pans bought at Walmart. We got all bright pink and even got real cooking utensils and dish cloths to match, dishes, etc. HUGE, HUGE hit.:001_smile: My dd does love Legos so we are lucky there. ETA: i bought purple chalk paint for one wall in her room and will get a huge supply of chalk, knowing that she will likely break it all apart. :glare: Edited October 21, 2012 by Denisemomof4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 A shovel and wheelbarrow? I have a daughter not much older and her favourite things to do are play with c-rods and shovel horse manure. (It is Spring and we're preparing the garden.) When there is no horse manure, she digs or carts around rocks. I don't know why, but I'm not going to complain. Rosie Rosie, can you get her to my house today? We're shoveling out the chicken coop! :lol: Writes or draws on toys, rips holes in stuffed toys, breaks it open if possible, breaks off the doors/windows/railings of cars/trucks/houses, ect. :001_huh: Um, in our home, we treat items with respect because mom and dad work hard to make money so we can have them. If I had a child that destroyed things in this manner, they would receive an indestructible box of Kapla blocks for Christmas and that would be it until they learned to play without the destruction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Does she have some sensory seeking stuff going on? (You don't have to answer, of course.) I ask, because I've seen kids who draw on toys a lot--often they say it "feels good" to draw on the smooth plastic or on the fabric of toys. I've experienced this myself! ;) Tearing/ripping is another sensory behaviour. . \ I had the same thoughts. It would be worth doing some research because there may be a reasonable explanation for the undesirable behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sctigermom Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 Wow, you are incredibly patient. If my kids had been that willfully destructive at that age...they would have been living in a room with a bed and nothing else. Kids who don't know how to take care of toys and appreciate them, don't get new toys in my world. And did I understand this correctly, because I just can't imagine that I did. She destroyed a bedroom set? As in furniture? That was given as a gift? :001_huh: My kids would have been punished for that sort of nonsense. Four is old enough to know better. I'll try to answer all things in this reply :). Yes, she is uber destructive and we do not buy toys throughout the yr. Gifts are given at Christmas and bday only (by us of course sometimes grandparents bring things when the visit). Last year my mom bought her a bed dresser and night stand. After she painted the mattress we took the bes out of her room (this may sound drastic but for a while she had nothing in her room besides the dresser and slept on a a palette on the floor). She no longer has the bed (we gave it to our 6 yr old son) and she has an old bed . As for the dresser she wrote on it and we think she spilled something on the top bc its that particle board and all bubbled and paint is. oming off. She only hasc 3-4 toys in her room and everything else is shared toys down in our basement. We have punished her and nothing works. She doesn't care and due to this (and some other issues we are seeking therapy for her). She never asks for toys even at the store. Still I refuse to go through Christmas and not get her anything. Maybe some can, but I can't make her sit there and watch her siblings open gifts and her have nothing (especially with other issues going on ). I can type but my new phone is hard to type on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 FYI for people who don't understand buying for kids who ruin things, the reason I do it is 1) for the other kids, so THEY don't feel bad after they have opened their own gifts (to keep things normal. I also know others who do it for the same reason). And 2) it will cause the destructive kid to act out/destruct even more. OP: I am glad you are seeking out therapy. I do know what my dd's issue is and destruction is just one of her many symptoms I have had to come to terms with. That said, I never leave her unattended so she doesn't have an opportunity to destroy. I no longer tolerate her destroying my home on ANY level and I buy her things shE can't destroy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 I'll try to answer all things in this reply :). Yes, she is uber destructive and we do not buy toys throughout the yr. Gifts are given at Christmas and bday only (by us of course sometimes grandparents bring things when the visit). Last year my mom bought her a bed dresser and night stand. After she painted the mattress we took the bes out of her room (this may sound drastic but for a while she had nothing in her room besides the dresser and slept on a a palette on the floor). She no longer has the bed (we gave it to our 6 yr old son) and she has an old bed . As for the dresser she wrote on it and we think she spilled something on the top bc its that particle board and all bubbled and paint is. oming off. She only hasc 3-4 toys in her room and everything else is shared toys down in our basement. We have punished her and nothing works. She doesn't care and due to this (and some other issues we are seeking therapy for her). She never asks for toys even at the store. Still I refuse to go through Christmas and not get her anything. Maybe some can, but I can't make her sit there and watch her siblings open gifts and her have nothing (especially with other issues going on ). I can type but my new phone is hard to type on. :grouphug: It sounds like you are working on her issues. :grouphug: What about consumable food gifts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kesmom Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 OP, I get where you are coming from. You are not indulging your child or ignoring the destructiveness. You are wanting to set your child up for success with regards to an important family tradition. (I agree that excluding a very young child, especially a struggling young child, from Christmas gifts is cruel) As far as gift ideas..... - Bath stuff? Crayola bath tint tablets, Avon roll-on soaps, traditional bubble bath, towel with her name on it - CD's (music or stories) or DVD's? These obviously wouldn't be left in her care, but could provide her with an activity. - Wedgits are pretty indestructible, though I think you said she doesn't like building toys - Geodes are meant to be smashed ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrixieB Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Outdoor swing that you could hang in a tree, tire swing, or some such? Scooter? Bike with training wheels? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 OP, I get where you are coming from. You are not indulging your child or ignoring the destructiveness. You are wanting to set your child up for success with regards to an important family tradition. (I agree that excluding a very young child, especially a struggling young child, from Christmas gifts is cruel) As far as gift ideas..... - Bath stuff? Crayola bath tint tablets, Avon roll-on soaps, traditional bubble bath, towel with her name on it - CD's (music or stories) or DVD's? These obviously wouldn't be left in her care, but could provide her with an activity. - Wedgits are pretty indestructible, though I think you said she doesn't like building toys - Geodes are meant to be smashed ;) I agree with your whole post and I was also going to suggest Wedgits. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 OP, I get where you are coming from. You are not indulging your child or ignoring the destructiveness. You are wanting to set your child up for success with regards to an important family tradition. (I agree that excluding a very young child, especially a struggling young child, from Christmas gifts is cruel) As far as gift ideas..... - Bath stuff? Crayola bath tint tablets, Avon roll-on soaps, traditional bubble bath, towel with her name on it - CD's (music or stories) or DVD's? These obviously wouldn't be left in her care, but could provide her with an activity. - Wedgits are pretty indestructible, though I think you said she doesn't like building toys - Geodes are meant to be smashed ;) I agree with your whole post and I was also going to suggest Wedgits. :grouphug: Ok si I googled Wedgits as I have never heard of them before. OP, sounds like our kiddos couldn't destroy these.:001_smile: HOW can one make a frog built with these hop? How does it not fall apart? do they stack or stick?:bigear: http://www.amazon.com/WEDGiTS-Deluxe-Set-30-Piece/dp/B000068E3J/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1350851983&sr=8-1&keywords=Wedgits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Oh, what about thise markers and paints that only work on the paper they come with? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kesmom Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 The Wedgits stack, they don't stick. You couldn't make the frog hop, but you can knock him down! They are one of the most popular toys in our house for our kids and their friends. I've known a few adults to enjoy them as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 The Wedgits stack, they don't stick. You couldn't make the frog hop, but you can knock him down! They are one of the most popular toys in our house for our kids and their friends. I've known a few adults to enjoy them as well. I can totally see myself and dd12 (13 by Christmas) playing with dd9 and these. I am disappointed, though, because the descriptions says to build a hopping frog. It should just say frog.:tongue_smilie: I am going to put these in my Amazon cart and keep watching this thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsH Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 love all the ideas here! My 6 year old is still like that... *sigh* Something that has REALLY helped him over the years though, is for us to leave him structures specifically to take apart. We realized that for him, the learning is in the taking apart. He didn't play with legos at all but his friends were into it. Downside was that any playdate ended in tears because ds would take apart others' structures. After a week of us leaving him structures to take apart (we told him he could), he suddenly started building stuff w/ legos. We did the same thing with train tracks, blocks, paper models, beads, and have now moved on to electronics. He still destroys our stuff at times. This week someone left a small pair of scissors out, which he promptly used on my CURTAINS!!! I am livid, but also think "oh that's right, he needs more sensory exposure." After helping me fix the curtains w/ a patch and discussing what scissors are to be used for (w/ many reminders), we spent a lovely afternoon cutting up all sorts of random materials: fabric, string, bubble wrap, paper, aluminum foil, packing peanuts, cardboard, polyfill, flowers... He has a real need to know how it all works and feels. It sure gets old trying to channel it though. Good luck with a gift for your daughter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimtaxi234 Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Hippity Hops were great for my boys at that age. How about a mini trampoline? Is she just hard on toys or willfully destructive? If she just plays hard I would get something that burns energy. :iagree: When our children were 6- and 3-years-old, they had something like this: http://www.aliexpress.com/item/INTEX48261-Inflatable-house-bouncy-castle-Inflatable-Bounce-Trampoline-Bouncer-baby-Leap-the-bed-pump-jumper/550436294.html I added a few soft inflatable balls and told my son to go bounce the balls around and my older daughter and I would do school on the floor nearby. He got to burn extra energy and we got school work done. Both of our children loved that bouncy house (ours wasn't that expensive). They played for hours in the bouncy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted October 22, 2012 Share Posted October 22, 2012 Both my kids were similar at that age. My son has outgrown it some but my daughter still tends toward the destructive. What I've done: -NEVER leaving out pens, crayons, scissors, markers or any writing utensil at all, but giving supervised time with scissors, glue, etc. -Play-doh is a BIG hit with my dd. She loves it. Pounding it, cutting it, mixing it all together. Thankfully she doesn't mind playing with the mixed up colors. I usually buy the small cans at Halloween but I also found a box of 32 mid-size cans at Amazon for fairly cheap last Christmas. -a rice bin. I put it out on a towel and give her some spoons and cups. She loves just letting it pour through her fingers. Her favorite play things: -being outside on a swingset or climbing. Digging in the dirt. Blowing bubbles. -Unifix cubes and a balance scale. Although she has chewed on some of the cubes which makes them not connect anymore. She has stopped the chewing on things. -Legos and anything with small pieces, she just dumps them out and then doesn't play with them. She may use them to "cook" with any containers that are available. -paints. She LOVES to paint but only can with very direct supervision. -the wooden capital letter pieces from HWT. I don't know why but she loves just making shapes on the floor with these, or rubbing them together. -Bath toys Both my kids hated Widgets. I just ended up donating a whole bunch of them. They also don't like the "clean" paints and markers from Crayola. There is a delay after drawing or painting and they didn't like waiting for the color to show up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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