What's the problem with FB?

[Denisemomof4]

So many people have felt a tremendous relief from quitting FB. I don't get it. What is the problem with FB? I personally love connecting with all my friends (well, most) in one place. I have liked some pages which have taught me SO much. I don't EVER feel pressure to respond to entries and when I do, it is usually short. I have seen people speak of so much drama, but not only do I rarely ever see it, I just skip over it when I do, just as I skip over things here. No biggie. I also love following some stories. I really have learned FAR more than I ever thought I possibly could. I don't understand the negativity.

 

I have not read beyond the OP of the current FB thread going, but those types of threads are becoming more commonplace here. I don't get it!

:bigear:

Edited October 7, 2012 by Denisemomof4

[Jennifer3141]

So many people have felt a tremendous relief from quitting FB. I don't get it. What is the problem with FB? I personally love connecting with all my friends (well, most) in one place. I have liked some pages which have taught me SO much. I don't EVER feel pressure to respond and when I do, it is usually short. I have seen people speak of so much drama but not only do I rarely ever see it, I just skip over it when I do, just as I skip over things here.

 

I have not read beyond the OP of the current FB thread going but those types of threads are becoming more commonplace here. I don't get it!

:bigear:

 

I have no idea. I pop on and off all day and check in with my friends. I even love the memes. Some of them are hysterical!

 

I don't get how you get on but don't want to get off but I don't have the world's greatest attention span. I can only sit here at the WTM for a few minutes at a time or I get bored.

[Sarah CB]

So many people have felt a tremendous relief from quitting FB. I don't get it. What is the problem with FB? I personally love connecting with all my friends (well, most) in one place. I have liked some pages which have taught me SO much. I don't EVER feel pressure to respond to entries and when I do, it is usually short. I have seen people speak of so much drama, but not only do I rarely ever see it, I just skip over it when I do, just as I skip over things here. No biggie. I also love following some stories. I really have learned FAR more than I ever thought I possibly could. I don't understand the negativity.

 

I have not read beyond the OP of the current FB thread going, but those types of threads are becoming more commonplace here. I don't get it!

:bigear:

 

I'm with you. I've never found anything on FB that takes me longer than a couple of minutes to read, I love staying in touch with family and friends who live across the country (and across the world!), having pictures of my nephews has been really lovely, and I don't have anyone dramatic. I do have one friend who posts icky pro-abortion stuff so I just set it so that her pictures and posts don't show up in my newsfeed anymore - problem solved!

[Miss Cornelia Snook]

I don't have a problem with it, either. But then, I don't feel like my internet time is out of control. Maybe that's part of it for others?

[thebacabunch]

meh, I like fb. I ignore the drama.

[Jennifer3141]

meh, I like fb. I ignore the drama.

 

:iagree: Except I'll unfriend you pretty quickly if you're too dramatic. :D

[lexi]

I think the problem is that some people spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME on FB. I have friends that update their status every hour. Who has that kind of time?? So, for those people, they get some of their time back if they quit FB.

 

I have other friends who love nothing more than to post inflammatory comments and start crazy debates. Then people get fired up and spend all their time arguing and debating. So, if you're one that's bothered by the crazies around you, then maybe getting off FB is the answer.

 

I personally spend a few minutes each day scrolling through my page to see what my friends are up to. I hide anyone who makes me crazy (or unfriend them), but I love keeping up with friends and some of my favorite pages and curricula vendors. That's all I use it for.

 

But I can see how some people spend too much time on there and need to get off. For me, FB is convenient and fast, but for others it's a huge drain of their time.

 

My favorite thing to do is post a pic of one of my kids and see which grandma can comment first. Then it becomes the battle of the grandmas to see who can have the sappiest or most creative comment. I secretly love watching the grandma wars! :lol:

[LisaKinVA]

FB is pretty much the way my extended family, and my vast network of friends (cough, cough) keep in touch. I moved from coast-to-coast, went to 12 different schools K-12, met lots of people through debate (both while in college and post-grad, when I coached), and was raised pre-internet age. I have enjoyed reconnecting with them all.

 

Yes, there are a couple of people who post some obnoxious stuff, but I can hide them.

 

I just reconnected with a kid I judged on the college debate circuit (today)...okay, he's only a few years younger than I am ;)...but nevertheless, it's great to catch up with what he's been up to, and the direction his life has gone.

[justLisa]

I'm with you. I don't get in to the drama issues. Actually I don't really have any because my only friends are my actual friends! Some people a thousand friends.

[SKL]

I just recently became active on Facebook. I may be a little weird because I'm trying to fly under the radar with respect to people I don't want in my business. So I have 10 friends so far.

 

I'm pretty careful what I post or "like," because I have friends who have very different passionate beliefs. So I may go for days without doing much more than "liking" someone's kid photo or saying "great job" or "LOL." I rarely post a "status" and I eventually delete most of the ones I do post. I don't touch political stuff with a ten-foot pole.

 

But I love being able to get on Facebook and in one glance, get caught up on a number of things. I "liked" my kids' school, so I automatically see its updates/reminders. I get to know whether friends' races / ball games / family events / medical checkups have gone well. I don't fall completely out of touch with what faraway friends' kids are doing.

 

If I have something to say that isn't appropriate for everyone, I'll send a private message.

 

So while it's not very exciting for me, it's nice to have.

[UnsinkableKristen]

I think the problem is that some people spend WAY TOO MUCH TIME on FB. I have friends that update their status every hour. Who has that kind of time??

 

If you have a iPhone (or any smart phone) updating your facebook status takes less than 30 seconds. Even if they actually were updating every hour, they would be spending less than 15 minutes a day on there if they just plugged in a status and didn't browse their newsfeed.

[elegantlion]

I use facebook for what I want to use facebook for. I've blocked a few people, maybe just for this season. ;) I enjoy reading funny stuff and seeing what other real homeschoolers are doing. I keep up to date with old high school friends, and family that I don't see on a regular basis.

 

I generally don't debate on facebook and I don't use it as a giant soundbox either. The world is a vastly diverse place, so is my facebook wall.

 

Like today, I posted a picture of my son shaving for the first time with dh helping him. Oh so controversial, well dh was shirtless, but beyond that...

[ErinE]

I think if you get caught up in the drama of snarky posts, political thoughts, and religious views FB can be a big hassle. The ignore button is my friend; my feelings towards close family members are so much more blissful since I've decided to dwell in ignorance.

 

Why do I love Facebook?

http://www.popsci.com/science/article/2012-09/andrea-thomaz-teaches-robots-learn-humans

 

This is a good friend I knew when I was younger. She was (and is) a beautiful, smart woman who has been recognized in the latest edition of Popular Science. Without FB, I may have stumbled across this on accident, but after seeing a mutual friend on Facebook make a comment, I was able to get in touch with her quickly and send her congratulations.

 

I love seeing friends' updates from running their first marathon to seeing their eldest get his Bobcat badge. Even with friends halfway across the world, I can see their interests and send them a quick note. People change addresses, phone numbers, and emails all the time. Facebook is a common medium where we can stay in touch.

[Lady Florida.]

I don't get it either. I love facebook and don't have any drama.

[Bluegoat]

I use Facebook and don't have an issue with it, but for some people it becomes a bad habit. Others have friends, or especially famil, that are demanding or try to pull them into issues. Other people get too ticked off at stupid things people post. Some feel it gets in the way of more authentic relationships.

 

Other people never really feel comfortable with the way their information is no longer private and I think it just takes a load off their minds to not have to bother being so careful about what they say or post all the time.

[Pink Fairy]

I hate when I accept friend requests from people I like, only to discover that they are annoying and obnoxious on fb. The passive aggressive quotes, the scolding, the politics--things that would never come up in real life because we are friends at dance, or my kids know your kids, etc., but we aren't bff's.

 

That's rare, so I just hide them and try not to think about it when we meet.

[laundrycrisis]

I really enjoy FB with people who are generally upbeat and positive, considerate, and who have a good sense of appropriate social boundaries.

 

I do not like FB with people who are harsh, inconsiderate, use it as a way to suck others into their drama, fish for certain types of comments back, or who do not have a good sense of what is appropriate. That kind of behavior takes all the fun out of it, and can lead to IRL misunderstandings and drama that causes lasting damage to relationships.

[momma2three]

I think that liking Facebook is largely dependent on having a very small family. :tongue_smilie:

 

What seems to drive people up the wall are the posts that are offensive, ignorant, super obnoxious, or entirely inappropriate. And since the people posting that are probably not your friends, who you probably mostly share similar tastes with, and who it doesn't really matter if you unfriend, I think it's usually family. And if you unfriend them, it becomes some sort of "family drama."

 

I have a super small family (just my parents and sister... no aunts, uncles, cousins, etc), and we all pretty much get along. So I just am friends with people I like and who I want to keep up with and whose posts I enjoy reading, and I love Facebook.

[justamouse]

I like it. I've gotten in tough with good friends from out of state whom I really like. My family is on there, and we get to talk to the kids all over the US in school.

 

There are some rules. Don't crank on your family, friends, and especially, your Dh.

[UnsinkableKristen]

I'm glad to know I'm not alone! I love FB and don't have a big problem with anyone else on there. If someone gets annoying, I hide them. If I remember them, and I look at their page and it looks like they've stopped being annoying, then I unhide them. I expect people do the same to me: "Is she STILL posting pictures of all those kids? Ugh. Keep on hiding." :D

[catz]

meh, I like fb. I ignore the drama.

 

:iagree: I do understand how people could get fed up with it. About a year or so ago I decided I'm not going to tolerate anything on FB that stresses me out. So I cleaned up my friends list and my feed, and I'm happy as a clam. :D

[T'smom]

I love Facebook and am rarely annoyed by posts. However, I ws grilled this afternoon by my mil who wanted to know what I meant by a certain post. I had no idea what she was talking about I told her she had me mixed up with someone else and she said "I might be getting old and forgetful, but I'm not THAT old" She's also sent me messages like "I can't believe you've been on here since 6:00" I have told her repeatedly that I just leave my Facebook up on my computer and it doesn't mean I'm actually there. Not that it would be any of her concern if I was on all the time. Anyway, that's a mil problem, not a fb problem.

[tex-mex]

 

I personally spend a few minutes each day scrolling through my page to see what my friends are up to. I hide anyone who makes me crazy (or unfriend them), but I love keeping up with friends and some of my favorite pages and curricula vendors. That's all I use it for.

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

And I do not have hundreds of friends... just those I know (and talk to face to face) in real life. Keeps the drama factor down since you have to see them in person -- I find most in my circle will play nice as a result. ;)

[Elinor Everywhere]

Same here. I'm on FB daily, because I like knowing what my friends and family are up to. But it takes much less time than it takes me to read through posts on this board.m

 

I have no drama on FB, and only one irritating political person that I've blocked for this season.

 

Love it!

[Desert Rat]

Same here. I'm on FB daily, because I like knowing what my friends and family are up to. But it takes much less time than it takes me to read through posts on this board.m

 

I have no drama on FB, and only one irritating political person that I've blocked for this season.

 

Love it!

 

:iagree: Me, too. I have more than one annoying political person but the hide button is my friend. :lol:

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

OK, you asked, so here goes. Keep in mind that I'm a major introvert, which is probably why I feel as strongly as I do!

 

I have no patience with blatant attention seeking, which so many FB posts seem to be. Why does the world need to see you check in from the library, B&N, the doctor's office, the movie theater, etc.? I have a friend who checks in from every place she goes. Once, when we were getting together, she posted to check in from our location and tagged several of us, and she hadn't even left her house yet!

 

Phoniness on FB irritates me. One person on my feed is a one-upper, and another is constantly posting the most lovey-dovey, picture-perfect things about her husband and kids. Well, IRL, she is negative and snappish and rude to the same husband and kids. Another person has a terrible relationship with her husband, but will go on and on with public declarations of love and affection.

 

I don't like being subjected to people's cause of the minute, or their constant harping on their pet causes. OK, you don't believe in vaccinations and you believe that allopathic medicine is destroying the purity of the human body, I get it. I don't need to see twice-daily diatribes about it.

 

I don't want to sign online petitions or contact my representatives about every. little. thing. I don't care to feel up in arms 24/7.

 

Yes, you are a good cook. I don't need to see pictures of every meal you cook or weekly shots of your amazing menu board, along with a commentary about how healthy you eat.

 

I don't want to be bombarded with posts about your home-based sales business, how well it's going, how I could be doing so well, if I just came and worked for you, how I need more products to truly feel beautiful.

 

I don't want to see pictures of a party I'll then wonder why we weren't invited to, and I don't want to feel sick when someone posts pictures of a party I was at that other friends weren't invited to, because I know they're seeing the pictures and wondering why they weren't invited, or wishing they were.

 

I DO love to see pictures people take, in general. I like to see the projects they've finished (or failed at :lol:), hear the funny things their kids say, answer questions if people have them, and commiserate when things are tough. I like to laugh at the funny pictures and sayings and ePostcards. But I find most of the stuff on FB so overwhelming, I can hardly stand it. I don't really want to be privy to so much of what goes on in people's head, especially when so much of that stuff, they would never say if they were sitting with you in a face-to-face conversation. It makes me feel differently about my friends, and I don't like that.

 

BUT I know this is just me. I don't think FB should be banned or anything, I just wish I didn't have to have it in my life. Unfortunately, I do. I don't find it a time suck at all, but I have enough conflict in my real life. I have a hard time taking on additional conflict/negative thoughts unnecessarily, and that's the effect FB has on me. I'm probably the only one :lol:

[annandatje]

So many people have felt a tremendous relief from quitting FB. I don't get it. What is the problem with FB? I personally love connecting with all my friends (well, most) in one place. I have liked some pages which have taught me SO much. I don't EVER feel pressure to respond to entries and when I do, it is usually short. I have seen people speak of so much drama, but not only do I rarely ever see it, I just skip over it when I do, just as I skip over things here. No biggie. I also love following some stories. I really have learned FAR more than I ever thought I possibly could. I don't understand the negativity.

 

I have not read beyond the OP of the current FB thread going, but those types of threads are becoming more commonplace here. I don't get it!

:bigear:

 

Neither do I. I suppose it is all in one's approach to the medium. Personally I do not feel that I have to visit facebook consistently to keep up with friends, and no explanation needed for absences.

[EmilyK]

I'm with you. I've never found anything on FB that takes me longer than a couple of minutes to read, I love staying in touch with family and friends who live across the country (and across the world!), having pictures of my nephews has been really lovely, and I don't have anyone dramatic.

 

Agree on this. It has been a great connector with geographically distant friends and family. Love it.

 

I'm not bothered by reading posts from people who's politics differ than mine.

[HiddenJewel]

OK, you asked, so here goes. Keep in mind that I'm a major introvert, which is probably why I feel as strongly as I do!

 

I have no patience with blatant attention seeking, which so many FB posts seem to be. Why does the world need to see you check in from the library, B&N, the doctor's office, the movie theater, etc.? I have a friend who checks in from every place she goes. Once, when we were getting together, she posted to check in from our location and tagged several of us, and she hadn't even left her house yet!

 

Phoniness on FB irritates me. One person on my feed is a one-upper, and another is constantly posting the most lovey-dovey, picture-perfect things about her husband and kids. Well, IRL, she is negative and snappish and rude to the same husband and kids. Another person has a terrible relationship with her husband, but will go on and on with public declarations of love and affection.

 

I don't like being subjected to people's cause of the minute, or their constant harping on their pet causes. OK, you don't believe in vaccinations and you believe that allopathic medicine is destroying the purity of the human body, I get it. I don't need to see twice-daily diatribes about it.

 

I don't want to sign online petitions or contact my representatives about every. little. thing. I don't care to feel up in arms 24/7.

 

Yes, you are a good cook. I don't need to see pictures of every meal you cook or weekly shots of your amazing menu board, along with a commentary about how healthy you eat.

 

I don't want to be bombarded with posts about your home-based sales business, how well it's going, how I could be doing so well, if I just came and worked for you, how I need more products to truly feel beautiful.

 

I don't want to see pictures of a party I'll then wonder why we weren't invited to, and I don't want to feel sick when someone posts pictures of a party I was at that other friends weren't invited to, because I know they're seeing the pictures and wondering why they weren't invited, or wishing they were.

 

I DO love to see pictures people take, in general. I like to see the projects they've finished (or failed at :lol:), hear the funny things their kids say, answer questions if people have them, and commiserate when things are tough. I like to laugh at the funny pictures and sayings and ePostcards. But I find most of the stuff on FB so overwhelming, I can hardly stand it. I don't really want to be privy to so much of what goes on in people's head, especially when so much of that stuff, they would never say if they were sitting with you in a face-to-face conversation. It makes me feel differently about my friends, and I don't like that.

 

BUT I know this is just me. I don't think FB should be banned or anything, I just wish I didn't have to have it in my life. Unfortunately, I do. I don't find it a time suck at all, but I have enough conflict in my real life. I have a hard time taking on additional conflict/negative thoughts unnecessarily, and that's the effect FB has on me. I'm probably the only one :lol:

 

I'm thinking the hide feature could become your best friend.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I'm thinking the hide feature could become your best friend.

 

It really could, but then I'm blocking half the people on my list (which is only 50 people long)! And if I just hide individual posts, I've seen them anyway, so I'm already annoyed :lol: I'm aware that I don't have much of a filter; I never have. It's why FB is not a great medium for me. I do love my friends; it's just that sometimes, I wish I didn't have to know everything they're thinking. For example, the anti-vax friends--well, I do believe in vaccination. I've done my research. I am convinced. I respect everyone's right to make that decision for their kids, and I have plenty of my own thoughts on the subject. I'd really rather not know just exactly what some of my friends think of people who choose to vax, especially because, again, they would never say those things to my face. But they are good friends, and I love them. I just don't need the added conflict :tongue_smilie:

[Carrie75]

People post way too much personal drama on FB and then close their account when it comes back to bite them. Save the personal stuff for real life, friends, not FB.

[shanvan]

OK, you asked, so here goes. Keep in mind that I'm a major introvert, which is probably why I feel as strongly as I do!

 

I have no patience with blatant attention seeking, which so many FB posts seem to be. Why does the world need to see you check in from the library, B&N, the doctor's office, the movie theater, etc.? I have a friend who checks in from every place she goes. Once, when we were getting together, she posted to check in from our location and tagged several of us, and she hadn't even left her house yet!

 

Phoniness on FB irritates me. One person on my feed is a one-upper, and another is constantly posting the most lovey-dovey, picture-perfect things about her husband and kids. Well, IRL, she is negative and snappish and rude to the same husband and kids. Another person has a terrible relationship with her husband, but will go on and on with public declarations of love and affection.

 

I don't like being subjected to people's cause of the minute, or their constant harping on their pet causes. OK, you don't believe in vaccinations and you believe that allopathic medicine is destroying the purity of the human body, I get it. I don't need to see twice-daily diatribes about it.

 

I don't want to sign online petitions or contact my representatives about every. little. thing. I don't care to feel up in arms 24/7.

 

Yes, you are a good cook. I don't need to see pictures of every meal you cook or weekly shots of your amazing menu board, along with a commentary about how healthy you eat.

 

I don't want to be bombarded with posts about your home-based sales business, how well it's going, how I could be doing so well, if I just came and worked for you, how I need more products to truly feel beautiful.

 

I don't want to see pictures of a party I'll then wonder why we weren't invited to, and I don't want to feel sick when someone posts pictures of a party I was at that other friends weren't invited to, because I know they're seeing the pictures and wondering why they weren't invited, or wishing they were.

 

I DO love to see pictures people take, in general. I like to see the projects they've finished (or failed at :lol:), hear the funny things their kids say, answer questions if people have them, and commiserate when things are tough. I like to laugh at the funny pictures and sayings and ePostcards. But I find most of the stuff on FB so overwhelming, I can hardly stand it. I don't really want to be privy to so much of what goes on in people's head, especially when so much of that stuff, they would never say if they were sitting with you in a face-to-face conversation. It makes me feel differently about my friends, and I don't like that.

 

BUT I know this is just me. I don't think FB should be banned or anything, I just wish I didn't have to have it in my life. Unfortunately, I do. I don't find it a time suck at all, but I have enough conflict in my real life. I have a hard time taking on additional conflict/negative thoughts unnecessarily, and that's the effect FB has on me. I'm probably the only one :lol:

 

This about sums it up for me too (when I actually visit FB). Another reason---I just don't have time and don't use it.

[Pawz4me]

I've never had a FB account. I never understood the allure to begin with, and time certainly hasn't changed my opinion.

[FaithManor]

For us, FB is bad because it would be another avenue of angst for keeping narcissistic SIL out of our lives. She's a FB drama queen...seriously, just WOW! This is not something I want to deal with and if we had FB, she found out about it, and we didn't friend her, it would cause her to ramp up her narcy fits IRL in order to get our attention.

 

The best way we've been able to manage her and still live in the same town with her is to NOT give her a platform for her antics nor allow her to have personal information about us. In that regard, we are very "closed" even with IRL people who do not understand her. This way, they cannot inadvertently feed her anything that would cause her to be over on my porch having a tizzy. You know those signs, "Do not feed the animals!" I'd like to have one that says, "Do not feed the narcissists!"

 

Ds's guitar teacher prefers FB for getting in touch with his students. Apparently many people are on FB constantly throughout the day. :glare: I told him that if he wanted our business, we have, gasp, a phone number and email. Plus, the whole world doesn't need to know what ds has been assigned to practice or be privy to why we need to change a lesson time.

 

Faith

[shanvan]

For us, FB is bad because it would be another avenue of angst for keeping narcissistic SIL out of our lives. She's a FB drama queen...seriously, just WOW! This is not something I want to deal with and if we had FB, she found out about it, and we didn't friend her, it would cause her to ramp up her narcy fits IRL in order to get our attention.

 

The best way we've been able to manage her and still live in the same town with her is to NOT give her a platform for her antics nor allow her to have personal information about us. In that regard, we are very "closed" even with IRL people who do not understand her. This way, they cannot inadvertently feed her anything that would cause her to be over on my porch having a tizzy. You know those signs, "Do not feed the animals!" I'd like to have one that says, "Do not feed the narcissists!"

 

Yes, the narcissists of the world make FB a big problem for the rest of us.

 

Ds's guitar teacher prefers FB for getting in touch with his students. Apparently many people are on FB constantly throughout the day. :glare: I told him that if he wanted our business, we have, gasp, a phone number and email. Plus, the whole world doesn't need to know what ds has been assigned to practice or be privy to why we need to change a lesson time.

 

Faith

 

Good for you. My initial reason for joining FB was b/c one of the 4H leaders only posted certain opportunities on FB. I hated everyone seeing who was getting lessons and how many lessons, who got to ride which horse and how often. It just fueled drama, even irl. Now we aren't part of that club anymore, but I'm left with a list of 'friends' from it, all of whom I ignore. It's silly. I keep saying I'm going to close my account, but haven't done it yet.

[Parrothead]

I did have an account for about 6 months. I found it to be a combination of popularity contest, look at me platform and total phoniness. A great many people in the world refuse to leave high school. I deleted my account.

 

When I want to connect with family and friends I go visit, pick up the phone or have a get-together. Personally I find that to be much more personal and real.

 

Also I do not like the data mining that FB does.

[Down_the_Rabbit_Hole]

I got on FB because it is the easiest way to keep in contact with my 2 sons who are in the military. They can see family pics and I can see pics of them. We can let the other know we need to contact ASAP because calling is not always an option. My FB is set to private and I guard that privacy by being extremely picky on who I invite in. No drama.

[Halcyon]

i quit last year because of two reasons: 1) some of my friends and family members were getting dramatic and small fights were ensuing OFFLINE because of it. I wasnt responding often enough for one of my family members to her posts, and she was upset with me and I was sick of it. 2) my account was hacked and weird and upsetting things were posted on my wall by what looked like ME. I didnt post them and peopl assumed i did and i was very upset.

 

i have since rejoined under a pseudonym so i can take advantage of store sales and announcements from places like the YMCA, but I havent decided whether I am willing to go back as "myself". I did feel like it was a weird, oversharing sort of venue but at the same time, people were offended if I unfriended them. I didnt need the drama. I do miss posts from certain people, as it seems it has become the default way to communicate for many people.

[Denisemomof4]

OK, you asked, so here goes. Keep in mind that I'm a major introvert, which is probably why I feel as strongly as I do!

 

I have no patience with blatant attention seeking, which so many FB posts seem to be. Why does the world need to see you check in from the library, B&N, the doctor's office, the movie theater, etc.? I have a friend who checks in from every place she goes. Once, when we were getting together, she posted to check in from our location and tagged several of us, and she hadn't even left her house yet!

 

Phoniness on FB irritates me. One person on my feed is a one-upper, and another is constantly posting the most lovey-dovey, picture-perfect things about her husband and kids. Well, IRL, she is negative and snappish and rude to the same husband and kids. Another person has a terrible relationship with her husband, but will go on and on with public declarations of love and affection.

 

I don't like being subjected to people's cause of the minute, or their constant harping on their pet causes. OK, you don't believe in vaccinations and you believe that allopathic medicine is destroying the purity of the human body, I get it. I don't need to see twice-daily diatribes about it.

 

I don't want to sign online petitions or contact my representatives about every. little. thing. I don't care to feel up in arms 24/7.

 

Yes, you are a good cook. I don't need to see pictures of every meal you cook or weekly shots of your amazing menu board, along with a commentary about how healthy you eat.

 

I don't want to be bombarded with posts about your home-based sales business, how well it's going, how I could be doing so well, if I just came and worked for you, how I need more products to truly feel beautiful.

 

I don't want to see pictures of a party I'll then wonder why we weren't invited to, and I don't want to feel sick when someone posts pictures of a party I was at that other friends weren't invited to, because I know they're seeing the pictures and wondering why they weren't invited, or wishing they were.

 

I DO love to see pictures people take, in general. I like to see the projects they've finished (or failed at :lol:), hear the funny things their kids say, answer questions if people have them, and commiserate when things are tough. I like to laugh at the funny pictures and sayings and ePostcards. But I find most of the stuff on FB so overwhelming, I can hardly stand it. I don't really want to be privy to so much of what goes on in people's head, especially when so much of that stuff, they would never say if they were sitting with you in a face-to-face conversation. It makes me feel differently about my friends, and I don't like that.

 

BUT I know this is just me. I don't think FB should be banned or anything, I just wish I didn't have to have it in my life. Unfortunately, I do. I don't find it a time suck at all, but I have enough conflict in my real life. I have a hard time taking on additional conflict/negative thoughts unnecessarily, and that's the effect FB has on me. I'm probably the only one :lol:

 

But see, this is part of my point. All of the above would be ENTIRELY unpleasant and annoying, but I can't think of a single person like that who I have friended on FB. But if I did, and being phoney is a pet peeve of mine, I would just skip over those posts, ignore them, hide them or whatever. Come to think of it, I do have a person or two who's posts I mostly skim over for this reason, but it is certainly not something that would cause me to get all negative about FB and feel a need to leave. One friend is kind of depressing in many of her posts. I don't know if it is for attention or what, but I never, ever respond those those entries (most times nobody does) because I refuse to acknowledge them or feed into them. This person is the same IRL, though, so it is to be expected.

 

I think a biggie for me is that I have almost no family? I don't know.

 

But FB, to me, is like this board. Skip over what doesn't interest you, ignore (mostly) what annoys you, ignore the people you need to, if necessary, and move on.

Edited October 8, 2012 by Denisemomof4

[Halcyon]

OK, you asked, so here goes. Keep in mind that I'm a major introvert, which is probably why I feel as strongly as I do!

 

I have no patience with blatant attention seeking, which so many FB posts seem to be. Why does the world need to see you check in from the library, B&N, the doctor's office, the movie theater, etc.? I have a friend who checks in from every place she goes. Once, when we were getting together, she posted to check in from our location and tagged several of us, and she hadn't even left her house yet!

 

Phoniness on FB irritates me. One person on my feed is a one-upper, and another is constantly posting the most lovey-dovey, picture-perfect things about her husband and kids. Well, IRL, she is negative and snappish and rude to the same husband and kids. Another person has a terrible relationship with her husband, but will go on and on with public declarations of love and affection.

 

I don't like being subjected to people's cause of the minute, or their constant harping on their pet causes. OK, you don't believe in vaccinations and you believe that allopathic medicine is destroying the purity of the human body, I get it. I don't need to see twice-daily diatribes about it.

 

I don't want to sign online petitions or contact my representatives about every. little. thing. I don't care to feel up in arms 24/7.

 

Yes, you are a good cook. I don't need to see pictures of every meal you cook or weekly shots of your amazing menu board, along with a commentary about how healthy you eat.

 

I don't want to be bombarded with posts about your home-based sales business, how well it's going, how I could be doing so well, if I just came and worked for you, how I need more products to truly feel beautiful.

 

I don't want to see pictures of a party I'll then wonder why we weren't invited to, and I don't want to feel sick when someone posts pictures of a party I was at that other friends weren't invited to, because I know they're seeing the pictures and wondering why they weren't invited, or wishing they were.

 

I DO love to see pictures people take, in general. I like to see the projects they've finished (or failed at :lol:), hear the funny things their kids say, answer questions if people have them, and commiserate when things are tough. I like to laugh at the funny pictures and sayings and ePostcards. But I find most of the stuff on FB so overwhelming, I can hardly stand it. I don't really want to be privy to so much of what goes on in people's head, especially when so much of that stuff, they would never say if they were sitting with you in a face-to-face conversation. It makes me feel differently about my friends, and I don't like that.

 

BUT I know this is just me. I don't think FB should be banned or anything, I just wish I didn't have to have it in my life. Unfortunately, I do. I don't find it a time suck at all, but I have enough conflict in my real life. I have a hard time taking on additional conflict/negative thoughts unnecessarily, and that's the effect FB has on me. I'm probably the only one :lol:

:iagree::iagree:

[Denisemomof4]

Agree on this. It has been a great connector with geographically distant friends and family. Love it.

 

I'm not bothered by reading posts from people who's politics differ than mine.

 

I don't mind reading posts from people who's opinion os different than mine, but some people are entire too vocal about why their point is right, why others is wrong, and cause heated debates. Again, i just scroll on down and move on.

[Denisemomof4]

It really could, but then I'm blocking half the people on my list (which is only 50 people long)! And if I just hide individual posts, I've seen them anyway, so I'm already annoyed :lol: I'm aware that I don't have much of a filter; I never have. It's why FB is not a great medium for me. I do love my friends; it's just that sometimes, I wish I didn't have to know everything they're thinking. For example, the anti-vax friends--well, I do believe in vaccination. I've done my research. I am convinced. I respect everyone's right to make that decision for their kids, and I have plenty of my own thoughts on the subject. I'd really rather not know just exactly what some of my friends think of people who choose to vax, especially because, again, they would never say those things to my face. But they are good friends, and I love them. I just don't need the added conflict :tongue_smilie:

 

Then don't read them. If your friend asks if you saw something, there's nothing wrong with saying something like, "No, I don't read your entries about vaccinations because we have opposing views. It's not something I want to debate."

 

I think if I read every entry of all my friends, maybe I would feel differently?

 

I love how much I have actually learned on FB. One person in particular has cemented my views on certain things I was interested in most of my life but passionate about now. My favorites are those old fashioned pictures with the hysterical sayings, and I love the cute animal pics. So I guess I pay more attention to what I enjoy and skip over the rest. I have only seen one argument and again, scrolled right past it. So I am understanding that it's not FB itself but perhaps a person's viewing habits? There are certain people who I never skim over, others I mostly do, and maybe that saves me a lot of aggrivation?

 

I also am lucky to be a part of a group with many members who share dd's medical condition. It gives me a glimpse into what possibly could be dd's future.

[Denisemomof4]

People post way too much personal drama on FB and then close their account when it comes back to bite them. Save the personal stuff for real life, friends, not FB.

 

Really? I even have seen a couple of people post stuff like this on FB but haven't seen it myself. I do read all my closer friend's posts, skim others to see what they're about. The vast majority of FB friends are people I know, many from the homeschool group, and I just don't see stuff like that. And as of yet, I haven't used the unfriend feature or hide feature and don't even know how to.

[Denisemomof4]

I did have an account for about 6 months. I found it to be a combination of popularity contest, look at me platform and total phoniness. A great many people in the world refuse to leave high school. I deleted my account.

 

When I want to connect with family and friends I go visit, pick up the phone or have a get-together. Personally I find that to be much more personal and real.

 

Also I do not like the data mining that FB does.

 

Oh, your approach to relationships is definitely more personal and real. But doesn't everyone know IRL friendships are more personal and real than online ones? Not to say that real friendships don't form from online ones. I met dh and a friend of 26 years online.:001_smile:

[Denisemomof4]

I left. I found myself ignoring more and more people. To the point there was hardly anyone left. I had issues with people being mad at me because of what strangers posted on my wall. I didn't feel free to talk about homeschooling which is a huge part of my life because too many of my non homeschooling "friends" were constantly offended.

 

I don't miss it.

 

That's crazy!

 

i quit last year because of two reasons: 1) some of my friends and family members were getting dramatic and small fights were ensuing OFFLINE because of it. I wasnt responding often enough for one of my family members to her posts, and she was upset with me and I was sick of it. 2) my account was hacked and weird and upsetting things were posted on my wall by what looked like ME. I didnt post them and peopl assumed i did and i was very upset.

 

i have since rejoined under a pseudonym so i can take advantage of store sales and announcements from places like the YMCA, but I havent decided whether I am willing to go back as "myself". I did feel like it was a weird, oversharing sort of venue but at the same time, people were offended if I unfriended them. I didnt need the drama. I do miss posts from certain people, as it seems it has become the default way to communicate for many people.

 

I think if I had family members On FB it could take a lot of joy away. :tongue_smilie: I also don't view it as a way to communicate. I rarely post anything about my life there, sometimes but rarely. I am the one sharing pjotos which crack me up, mostly, or sharing cute animal pics. No deep meaning. I guess I'm just shallow.;)

[Durriyyah]

I've left a couple times because of family drama. The last time I left I posted that I was changing to a different account and anyone who wanted to stay friends, let me know. It felt a little show off-y, but I figured then it wasn't my decision and it couldn't be ANOTHER thing they were upset about.

 

In fairness, I was zealous about sharing (to the general public, not just to dh's family) new information I had about our religion (different than theirs), but the response was rude, condescending, and downright mean. That and the passive agressive posts they would have in "response, but not a direct response" were beyond annoying. For instance, SIL posted "I'm offended" and I knew it was about me. I sent her a private message apologizing and saying I didn't think about it from all angles, and I didn't even get an "okay" or "buzz off". Then all the family is sitting there on her wall commenting on how she shouldn't listen to what I say because I'm not worth taking the time, or whatever. That was the last straw.

 

Basically, I have one of my dh's cousins on fb now, and his sister. MIL, FIL, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc... all gone. I figure they just wanted to be friends with me to figure out who I was anyway. Now they know, so the point is over.

 

I don't see leaving again since I've come to the realization that I have no obligation to be friends with people on Facebook and if we don't get along on FB, then we don't need to be friends. Since I was new to the family, I was too shy to deny anyone.

 

FB is what you make of it... it isn't like being in college or at work where you basically have to interact with those around you.

[Denisemomof4]

One more thing, there are some smaller groups I am a part of which allows more personal sharing that others can't see. I can see those as highly useful. :). Most of the personal sharing between friends of mine on FB is through messages and not for the world to see.

 

Friends with no filter posting all the time, difficult family members..... I get it now. I am understanding how it can be stressful for some, and I can see how hiding won't work for everyone. That just hasn't been my experience YET, and I hope it won't! For now I just happily scroll, not due to annoyance, but I just don't have time to read it all. I do feel I have to make a choice between FB and here many times.

[Parrothead]

Oh, your approach to relationships is definitely more personal and real. But doesn't everyone know IRL friendships are more personal and real than online ones? Not to say that real friendships don't form from online ones. I met dh and a friend of 26 years online.:001_smile:

But I was specifically referring to FB "friendships". Not all online outlets. And of course, deep relationships can be found that started as online communications. Look at you and me for example. We communicate here, in person (periodically) email, text and phone.

 

I, personally, find FB to be superficial. Just like high school. But that is me. You asked for reasons that people don't like FB. Those people have stated what they found. That is their take on it. No one is arguing that FB should cease to exist (although I could if you want to go there. :D:lol:) We are just answering your question, not questioning your decision to continue with FB.

 

I think it is great that you personally haven't found lots of drama or negativity while participating on FB. Unfortunately lots of people haven't been as lucky as you.

[WIS0320]

I posted the other thread.

 

I didn't actually spend a lot of time on FB but I was giving it a lot of my headspace. I'd worry I'd posted something that would be offensive to others (joining homeschooling support pages, "liking" an article about Catholicism or a pro-life cause or something like that) or worry about arguments I'd see crop up between friends or family members. I had about 10 friends who were rabid political posters and that was becoming increasingly annoying for me to see daily.

 

For me, I also felt like I was giving a platform to people who really just wanted constant attention. And due to friend and family dynamics I didn't feel like I could unfriend or hide some of those people.

 

FB has nutty privacy policies. I could never figure out what the current ones are and how to adjust them accordingly. I actually have the same concerns with Google in general. FB and Google sell information and I'm not sure how I feel about that. The current FB issue with private messages from a few years ago showing up on timelines - no thanks. I know they say there are no confirmed cases but it is in FB's interests to deflect and deny. I don't think FB corporate necessarily has a stable, safe platform and that it could be easily hacked. I also don't think they really care about their users privacy, they care about making $$, which is their right as a corporation. But I don't have to freely give them my info which they are in turn going to take and profit from.

 

Last, I wonder at how healthy the technology overload in our world is. Our social interactions are completely different from even a decade ago and I am not necessarily saying it is worse now, I'm just not sure how I feel about it. I think I'd rather cultivate and grow a few really genuine friendships than be worrying about people who would otherwise be on the periphery of my life without social media. I am considering the implications of blogging publicly as well. I'm not opposed to social media, I am just not sure how I personally want to utilize and interact with others using it as a tool right now. Until I figure that out I feel better opting out.

 

ETA: I don't find that a forum like this is in any way comparable to FB. This forum is pretty anonymous. Sure, friendships can spring up from participating in a forum but the point of being here (for me, at least) is more research and discussion based rather than friendship based.

Edited October 8, 2012 by drexel

[fairfarmhand]

I believe much of it depends on the friends that you have. If you have contacts on your list who thrive on conflict and drama, you may be overwhelmed by those who comment rudely to your comments or post controversial idiotic things.

 

 

Personally, I love facebook, but I know that others have bad experiences with it.