This is incredibly sad and troubling to me...

[JessReplanted]

WTH?! Really?! And people wonder why in the world we would teach our children ourselves. :cursing:

[In the Rain]

:eek: That is unbelievable. I can't believe heads didn't roll. If a parent acted like that, CPS would take away the kid. And no one was even fired or reprimanded?

 

:iagree:

[Alphabetika]

If this whole story is true, the saddest part to me is the little girl's comment about the people who did this to her. If there was a weepy "smiley" I'd put one here.

[PeacefulChaos]

The first thing I thought when I read the article was that it sounds like horror-movie type stuff. Marks in the door where the kids have tried to claw their way out, etc.

I certainly hope that this is a slightly blown up misrepresentation by dad. I don't think it's ok in any way to send a kid to a mop closet for 'being disruptive'.

I also agree with the PP who talked about ADD/ADHD being overdiagnosed. :)

Then when I was reading through the comments, I remembered that I have been criticized on here for 'banishing' my 3yo daughter to her room to calm down for a few minutes when she's screaming and I'm trying to get school work done with the boys. So I guess I'm guilty of 'seclusion', too. ;)

[clarkacademy]

The first thing I thought when I read the article was that it sounds like horror-movie type stuff. Marks in the door where the kids have tried to claw their way out, etc.

I certainly hope that this is a slightly blown up misrepresentation by dad. I don't think it's ok in any way to send a kid to a mop closet for 'being disruptive'.

I also agree with the PP who talked about ADD/ADHD being overdiagnosed. :)

Then when I was reading through the comments, I remembered that I have been criticized on here for 'banishing' my 3yo daughter to her room to calm down for a few minutes when she's screaming and I'm trying to get school work done with the boys. So I guess I'm guilty of 'seclusion', too. ;)

 

You and me both are guilty of that!!!

[bbkaren]

If it matters, IMO there's nothing wrong with "Go to your room!" - it hardly holds a candle to locking a kid in a scary place alone in an unfamiliar environment.

 

But then I've been accused of being "a big meany" to my son as well.

[Truscifi]

The first thing I thought when I read the article was that it sounds like horror-movie type stuff. Marks in the door where the kids have tried to claw their way out, etc.

I certainly hope that this is a slightly blown up misrepresentation by dad. I don't think it's ok in any way to send a kid to a mop closet for 'being disruptive'.

I also agree with the PP who talked about ADD/ADHD being overdiagnosed. :)

Then when I was reading through the comments, I remembered that I have been criticized on here for 'banishing' my 3yo daughter to her room to calm down for a few minutes when she's screaming and I'm trying to get school work done with the boys. So I guess I'm guilty of 'seclusion', too. ;)

 

I have seen the seclusion rooms referred to as "mop closets" several times in this thread. While that does sound like what the article is describing, the ones I have actually seen (and again, I have only seen seclusion rooms in my local area) are far from that. They are small, but not closet small unless maybe a large walk-in style closet, and they are well-lit with thick mats on the floor to provide cushioning (in case of head banging or other self harming behaviors). They don't have anything else in them, true, because it is generally a bad idea to give a highly angry and volatile child something to throw or beat the door/walls/themselves with.

[mama2cntrykids]

Poor, poor kiddo. I find her statement about "not knowing how to work with children" telling. I mean, SCHOOL teachers (who are with kids day in/out) NOT knowing how to "work with children". Sad. Very sad.

[melissad2]

If it matters, IMO there's nothing wrong with "Go to your room!" - it hardly holds a candle to locking a kid in a scary place alone in an unfamiliar environment.

 

But then I've been accused of being "a big meany" to my son as well.

 

:iagree:

[justamouse]

The old ruler-on-the-knuckles/paddling was cruel, but this is okay?

 

Terrible.

 

It's a comfort that my son is now fully homeschooled at last.

 

He told me in Kindergarten and First Grade "We weren't allowed to poop in the bathroom" - they were told to hold it until they got home. Can you imagine a young child having a restriction even this "minor"?

 

The teachers claim that if allowed to go #2, the children dawdled too much so they were "discouraged" from doing it there. But it's okay because "their bodies eventually get into the habit of waiting until they get home."

 

And our school system is supposed to be a great one too!

 

You housebreak a dog with more compassion than that. :glare:

[Mrs Mungo]

As for "my experience" - perfectly normal kids act out in class. The overextended teacher suggests perhaps add/adhd. School recommends a psych evaluation (paid for by the school), parent is relieved that there's a pill to take care of the child's behavior, then the rest is history.

 

ADD kids are not typically the children acting out in the dangerous/violent manner described in the other posts. That is why your previous statement is BS in *my* opinion.

 

In addition, is disagreeing not permitted on this board? I didn't say anyone was wrong in THEIR opinions. I said I disagree.

 

Of course, and people are allowed to tell you that they disagree with you and/or are offended by the manner in which you expressed your opinion.

[justamouse]

SKL, I'm with you on this; so what should schools/teachers do? I have no solution.

 

Of course we could blame Governor Christie (or whomever) for "laying off teachers and causing large class size".

 

But I think the real issue is...a lot of these kids have never seen a boundary. Hence, they act out when presented with structure and boundaries. They are then "classified" and plopped on drugs to control their behavior.

 

That and a heap of excuses (I mean "diagnoses") that give the parents an easy way out rather than put the effort into raising their children the right way.

 

Of course that's not the case in all situations, but it seems to me that we suddenly (in the last 15-20 years) have a LOT of kids with ADD/Learning Disabilities and behavior problems.

 

I don't know what the solution is, but it appears to be a matter of reaping what we (the overly-permissive parenting generation) have sown. Kids with no clue of what's expected of them.

 

JMO, of course, but I do see where the teachers are facing an insurmountable problem. Locking a kid in isolation? Not allowing time in the bathroom? Terrible solutions...

 

So, you're blaming special needs kids, even to the lower end ADD kids, on poor parenting? Is that what you're saying?

[Rivka]

In addition, is disagreeing not permitted on this board? I didn't say anyone was wrong in THEIR opinions. I said I disagree.

 

I didn't say you "weren't permitted to disagree" - last I checked, I'm not a mod and I have no power over what other people post. I asked you to back up your statements with some kind of evidence. It's clear now that you can't.

[bbkaren]

I didn't say you "weren't permitted to disagree" - last I checked, I'm not a mod and I have no power over what other people post. I asked you to back up your statements with some kind of evidence. It's clear now that you can't.

 

As I said, a simple google search bears it out. Overdiagnosed, greatly.

[bbkaren]

So, you're blaming special needs kids, even to the lower end ADD kids, on poor parenting? Is that what you're saying?

 

No, as I've stated multiple times now and will rephrase again: It's my opinion, and I've read many times, that a lot of kids are diagnosed and given medication when proper discipline/parenting would have taken care of the problem. Is that clearer?

 

Or still "offensive" and "rude"?

[justamouse]

As I said, a simple google search bears it out. Overdiagnosed, greatly.

 

Even if it IS over diagnosed, and there is poor parenting involved, you are still justifying the action of putting a kid in a closet and you think that is a healthy way to deal with the problem?

[pdalley]

I have seen the seclusion rooms referred to as "mop closets" several times in this thread. While that does sound like what the article is describing, the ones I have actually seen (and again, I have only seen seclusion rooms in my local area) are far from that. They are small, but not closet small unless maybe a large walk-in style closet, and they are well-lit with thick mats on the floor to provide cushioning (in case of head banging or other self harming behaviors). They don't have anything else in them, true, because it is generally a bad idea to give a highly angry and volatile child something to throw or beat the door/walls/themselves with.

 

The one that my kids were put into more resembled the mop closet which is why I used the term. I've only seen one in one school in this district. The other school we tried did not have a seclusion room. There are others in this district - I've never seen them. They may not resemble mop closets. It appeared to be a claustrophobic person's worst nightmare. Add in sensory issues and it really isn't a good place for an out of control child to decompress.

[pdalley]

No, as I've stated multiple times now and will rephrase again: It's my opinion, and I've read many times, that a lot of kids are diagnosed and given medication when proper discipline/parenting would have taken care of the problem. Is that clearer?

 

Or still "offensive" and "rude"?

 

I've lived in the world of special needs kids for sixteen years. I don't care what 'google' says - that's not what I've lived through and seen with my own two eyes. Like my child's MRI report that showed slower processing via the frontal lobe. Or the tests that say my oldest's IQ is in the MR range. It hurts to read that your child will struggle for the rest of their lives. To watch them struggle to hold it together.

 

I was the perfect mother, spouse, Christian, etc before I actually had to live through it. I thought I had all the answers. Turns out I'm not sure of some of the questions.

 

But I have seen no 'real' hard evidence to back up a claim over diagnosis and poor parenting. It's one of the reasons I have such a strong reaction to the Pearls. 'Proper discipline' does not make a perfect child. Especially one that was born with different wiring than people.

 

And if I had a dime for every time someone told me more structure or discipline would 'fix' my kids I'd be a rich woman. Seriously.

[Mrs Mungo]

As I said, a simple google search bears it out. Overdiagnosed, greatly.

 

Diagnoses that cause children to be violent and a danger to themselves and others or ADD? Because these are not equivalent statements.

 

What is clear to me is that you don't have a good understanding of what a special need in a child (or adult, for that matter) looks like.

 

I have an ADD child (possibly more than one). I had a hard time getting her diagnosed because the doctor was used to seeing undisciplined children (she is not medicated, btw, that was not my reason for going to the doctor about it). Discipline is *not* my child's issue, not at all. I have many genius-level IQ family members on the spectrum. I had an uncle diagnosed bipolar (he died in a car accident many years ago). None of these look the same. None of these people behave in the same manner. People were talking about children who violently act out. Some of those have discipline issues. But, the children with diagnoses are often unable to control certain aspects of their behavior. It is offensive to repeatedly imply that MOST children with behavior issues just need more discipline because those of us who deal with those children on a daily basis KNOW better.

Edited September 9, 2012 by Mrs Mungo

[bbkaren]

Even if it IS over diagnosed, and there is poor parenting involved, you are still justifying the action of putting a kid in a closet and you think that is a healthy way to deal with the problem?

 

Wait. What?

 

It's gotten off track a bit, so I can see why you're having trouble keeping up.

 

Another poster asked (paraphrased): "At the same time, how does a teacher handle disruptive kids in the classroom, and still teach the others?"

 

And I stated my opinion on why there are so many disruptive kids.

 

I NEVER remotely said I agree with putting a child in an isolation closet. Please.

[mykdsmomy]

I've lived in the world of special needs kids for sixteen years. I don't care what 'google' says - that's not what I've lived through and seen with my own two eyes. Like my child's MRI report that showed slower processing via the frontal lobe. Or the tests that say my oldest's IQ is in the MR range. It hurts to read that your child will struggle for the rest of their lives. To watch them struggle to hold it together.

 

I was the perfect mother, spouse, Christian, etc before I actually had to live through it. I thought I had all the answers. Turns out I'm not sure of some of the questions.

 

But I have seen no 'real' hard evidence to back up a claim over diagnosis and poor parenting. It's one of the reasons I have such a strong reaction to the Pearls. 'Proper discipline' does not make a perfect child. Especially one that was born with different wiring than people.

 

And if I had a dime for every time someone told me more structure or discipline would 'fix' my kids I'd be a rich woman. Seriously.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I couldn't agree more with this.

 

I was the perfect parent before I had children. When I had two pretty easy kids, I would still judge other parents for their seemingly lack of discipline.

After having 2 special needs children, (one of which appears to be the epitome of "poor parenting" but in fact is due to his brain damage and inability to understand and learn from consequences!), I judge no parent based on their child's behavior.

 

It's easy to make sweeping statements about poor parenting when your experience of parenting is limited to mild mannered children.

[Mrs Mungo]

Another poster asked (paraphrased): "At the same time, how does a teacher handle disruptive kids in the classroom, and still teach the others?"

 

My answer would be, "if you are going to have fully integrated classrooms, then you need an ACTUAL working plan to deal with the issues that WILL come up as a result. That plan should include additional adults with behavioral experience in the classroom. The teacher should not be the one dealing with it."

[pdalley]

 

 

It's not their personal decision; it's the law. If people want a change in the way special education is structured, they need to take it to their state and federal legislators. The admins are often just doing their job and trying to avoid problems for their school. And for every parent who wants a more restrictive environment, there is another in denial who wants their child in a regular ed classroom evven though it is entirely inappropriate.

 

 

 

Yep. I want to move to wherever others live where all the parents are perfect and responsible. ;) That isn't the reality here.

 

So I was supposed to mortgage my home to hold these educators accountable? I took an advocate with me. I've lobbied the local and state legislators. They know me, they know my case manager.

 

I was not going to file a lawsuit - which I was assured I had the grounds to do - and continue to send my kids there. I'm sure there are other school districts that have decent administrators that don't treat kids whose parents sue the school system like a pariah. That's not the case here. They didn't follow the IEP's. They didn't follow the BIP's. I spent hours there. Every time they called I dropped what I was doing and went to get my kids. I jumped through every single hoop and for what?

 

To be assumed to be a lousy, lazy parent with ill behaved kids?

 

Parents can't win. No wonder so many do give up trying to make a difference.

 

I hope one day my kids live in a world where people can see them as people and not problems.

 

This thread just breaks my heart. Some of the attitudes just blow me away.

[justamouse]

Wait. What?

 

It's gotten off track a bit, so I can see why you're having trouble keeping up.

 

Another poster asked (paraphrased): "At the same time, how does a teacher handle disruptive kids in the classroom, and still teach the others?"

 

And I stated my opinion on why there are so many disruptive kids.

 

I NEVER remotely said I agree with putting a child in an isolation closet. Please.

 

Snark wins the argument, every time.

[bbkaren]

Diagnoses that cause children to be violent and a danger to themselves and others or ADD? Because these are not equivalent statements.

 

What is clear to me is that you don't have a good understanding of what a special need in a child (or adult, for that matter) looks like.

 

I have an ADD child (possibly more than one). I had a hard time getting her diagnosed because the doctor was used to seeing undisciplined children. Discipline is *not* my child's issue, not at all. I have many genius-level IQ family members on the spectrum. I had an uncle diagnosed bipolar (he died in a car accident many years ago). None of these look the same. None of these people behave in the same manner. People were talking about children who violently act out. Some of those have discipline issues. But, the children with diagnoses are often unable to control certain aspects of their behavior. It is offensive to repeatedly imply that MOST children with behavior issues just need more discipline because those of us who deal with those children on a daily basis KNOW better.

 

Okay, that may be the case.

 

I'm referring generally to the overdiagnosis of ADD/ADHD and the subsequent medication. I'm not sure I mentioned those children as "Special Needs", or violent/dangerous...and if I did and was confused, I apologize for that.

 

But again, I certainly never meant an autistic child, etc. was the result of poor parenting. I don't think I said that either.

 

I also never, EVER said "all" or "most"...of anything.

 

My son (now 21) was one of those overdiagnosed. I was a single mother at the time working full time, and was relieved to think that the pill would fix him. It didn't - boundaries and discipline did, later in his life, when I was able to spend the time required.

 

Whatever - I disagree strongly with using isolation rooms and some of the other desperate methods that public schools are using to keep the kids under control.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I googled "ADHD caused by bad parenting" and all I got was a pretty overwhelming picture that lots of people believe that but they're just ignorant.

[bbkaren]

Snark wins the argument, every time.

 

You put words in my mouth. I corrected you, no snark.

[bbkaren]

I googled "ADHD caused by bad parenting" and all I got was a pretty overwhelming picture that lots of people believe that but they're just ignorant.

 

Google "ADHD overdiagnosed" and you'll get a clearer picture of what I was SAYING, not what others are presuming I'm saying.

[swellmomma]

It's better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and be proven one.

 

Just sayin'

Edited September 9, 2012 by swellmomma

[Mrs Mungo]

I'm referring generally to the overdiagnosis of ADD/ADHD and the subsequent medication. I'm not sure I mentioned those children as "Special Needs", or violent/dangerous...and if I did and was confused, I apologize for that.

 

The discussion prior to your post was referring to children who act violently or in a manner dangerous to themselves or others.

 

I also never, EVER said "all" or "most"...of anything.

 

Re-read your post that people took issue with.

But I think the real issue is...a lot of these kids have never seen a boundary. Hence, they act out when presented with structure and boundaries. They are then "classified" and plopped on drugs to control their behavior.

 

That and a heap of excuses (I mean "diagnoses") that give the parents an easy way out rather than put the effort into raising their children the right way.

 

Of course that's not the case in all situations, but it seems to me that we suddenly (in the last 15-20 years) have a LOT of kids with ADD/Learning Disabilities and behavior problems.

 

If you think the REAL issue is disciple, then it implies that you think MOST kids are misdiagnosed and really just have a discipline issue. If that is not what you meant, then you could have used more precise language instead of snark.

 

My son (now 21) was one of those overdiagnosed. I was a single mother at the time working full time, and was relieved to think that the pill would fix him. It didn't - boundaries and discipline did, later in his life, when I was able to spend the time required.

 

YOU not disciplining YOUR child really has nothing to do with the rest of us.

[Rivka]

As I said, a simple google search bears it out. Overdiagnosed, greatly.

 

I've read extensively in the primary research literature about ADHD and other mental/behavioral disorders in children, on the way to earning my Ph.D. in clinical psychology. I am currently a research faculty member in the Department of Psychiatry of a medical school, and although children's psychopathology is not my current field, I am quite aware of the standards of evidence for making claims about psychology/psychiatry.

 

You are misinformed. The existence of websites agreeing with you means very little. Any darned fool can put up a webpage asserting a claim. That does not constitute evidence.

[Mrs Mungo]

I've read extensively in the primary research literature about ADHD and other mental/behavioral disorders in children, on the way to earning my Ph.D. in clinical psychology. I am currently a research faculty member in the Department of Psychiatry of a medical school, and although children's psychopathology is not my current field, I am quite aware of the standards of evidence for making claims about psychology/psychiatry.

 

You are misinformed. The existence of websites agreeing with you means very little. Any darned fool can put up a webpage asserting a claim. That does not constitute evidence.

 

As a random example:

http://userpages.bright.net/~phobia/

Edited September 9, 2012 by Mrs Mungo

[swellmomma]

 

YOU not disciplining YOUR child really has nothing to do with the rest of us.

 

AMEN!

[amy g.]

AMEN!

 

A double men

[Kathryn]

A double men

 

And a triple from the mother of a behavior-challenged autistic child. Or maybe I'm just lazy...

[PeacefulChaos]

Um, so I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but .... I thought ADD and ADHD have been overdiagnosed and that it was common knowledge. :001_huh:

I just feel like it's very frosty in here and I'm not clear on why the PP saying that was so controversial, or why it deserves her being ripped to shreds... Just saying.

:leaving:

[maddykate]

Um, so I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but .... I thought ADD and ADHD have been overdiagnosed and that it was common knowledge. :001_huh:

I just feel like it's very frosty in here and I'm not clear on why the PP saying that was so controversial, or why it deserves her being ripped to shreds... Just saying.

:leaving:

 

I agree.

[Mrs Mungo]

Um, so I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but .... I thought ADD and ADHD have been overdiagnosed and that it was common knowledge. :001_huh:

I just feel like it's very frosty in here and I'm not clear on why the PP saying that was so controversial, or why it deserves her being ripped to shreds... Just saying.

:leaving:

 

I think it is common for people with average kids to believe that it is over-diagnosed. To say that the REAL issue with violent kids, special needs in the classroom is parental discipline, is controversial and offensive.

[Mergath]

Um, so I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but .... I thought ADD and ADHD have been overdiagnosed and that it was common knowledge. :001_huh:

I just feel like it's very frosty in here and I'm not clear on why the PP saying that was so controversial, or why it deserves her being ripped to shreds... Just saying.

:leaving:

 

 

I think it was more that the poster's initial post on the subject seemed to implicate the parents of any child with some kind of special need, not specifically ADD. I don't think any of us will disagree that ADD is somewhat overdiagnosed, mostly in young boys who are just being boys. But implying that all special needs kids really just need better parenting? No.

[lulubelle]

Back to the incident. This is my town. I am on a local email list of town parents and some of the parent committees are very disturbed, which they should be, by the article and want to know what happened and what has been done since.

 

It will be interesting to see how the school reacts. I find it shocking! The town next to us tried to ban parents from spanking their children.

 

What ever happen to sending kids to the principal's office for difficult behavior? And, talking with the parents. This town is known for working very well with special needs children. People move here for it.

[Mergath]

Back to the incident. This is my town. I am on a local email list of town parents and some of the parent committees are very disturbed, which they should be, by the article and want to know what happened and what has been done since.

 

It will be interesting to see how the school reacts. I find it shocking! The town next to us tried to ban parents from spanking their children.

 

What ever happen to sending kids to the principal's office for difficult behavior? And, talking with the parents. This town is known for working very well with special needs children. People move here for it.

 

It's sad how much schools can get away with now. Granted, they aren't able to hit kids anymore (at least, not in most states) but when I worked with SN kids it was outside of school. If I would have done any of the things I've read about schools doing, not only would I have been fired, I'd probably be in jail, too.

[pdalley]

And a triple from the mother of a behavior-challenged autistic child. Or maybe I'm just lazy...

 

:iagree: I've got three of them. What does that say about my parenting skills or lack thereof? :001_smile:

 

And oh yeah, all three of them also have a form of ADD - one is the H part, one is the daydreamy part and one is mixed - hyper distracted one moment and daydreaming the next. All of them are unorganized - not because we don't work on it. A hallmark of ADD is poor executive functioning skills.

 

No, none of them are medicated for ADD - one is on medication for explosive rages which are a byproduct of the autism and hyposensitivity, two others are on medication due to anxiety that left one of them pulling his own hair out and the other being unable to verbalize.

 

I am offended at the suggestion that structure and discipline would fix my kids and it's just bad parenting anyway and I conned someone into diagnosing them. And if I'd just be more strict they would not have had meltdowns at public school and been stuck in a seclusion room that greatly resembled a mop closet.

 

Furthermore I always chafe when someone makes an assumption about something I've lived with for sixteen years now when they are basing their opinion on 'google searches'.

[Audrey]

Isn't that how they "break" prisoners in pow camps? The ones where they torture them until they crack?

 

 

Yes it is. And, what does that say about a parent who returns the child to the pow camp? :glare: I'll stop there because I have no more publicly acceptable words for this. :angry:

[amy g.]

I think it is common for people with average kids to believe that it is over-diagnosed. To say that the REAL issue with violent kids, special needs in the classroom is parental discipline, is controversial and offensive.

 

Word

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Yes it is. And, what does that say about a parent who returns the child to the pow camp? :glare: I'll stop there because I have no more publicly acceptable words for this. :angry:

 

I've been trying not to think about that. :(

 

I wonder if they even know how damaged that poor child is, that she doesn't even see her tormentors as "bad." Where is her self-worth? They "just don't understand children," and back in school is where she belongs?

 

Heartbreaking.

[Renee in NC]

Okay, that may be the case.

 

I'm referring generally to the overdiagnosis of ADD/ADHD and the subsequent medication. I'm not sure I mentioned those children as "Special Needs", or violent/dangerous...and if I did and was confused, I apologize for that.

 

But again, I certainly never meant an autistic child, etc. was the result of poor parenting. I don't think I said that either.

 

I also never, EVER said "all" or "most"...of anything.

 

My son (now 21) was one of those overdiagnosed. I was a single mother at the time working full time, and was relieved to think that the pill would fix him. It didn't - boundaries and discipline did, later in his life, when I was able to spend the time required.

 

Whatever - I disagree strongly with using isolation rooms and some of the other desperate methods that public schools are using to keep the kids under control.

 

My now 11yo ds was diagnosed mildly MR and referred for special education for life skills. The psych said he did NOT have ADHD. Why? Because he could behave. We worked really hard to make sure that he had structure and boundaries, and that he could control himself. He was on a preschool level, had severe language delays, and had almost no motor planning skills. At 9, a psychiatrist put him on Vyvanse to "up his processing a little." That was 2 years ago this coming week.

 

He started 5th grade this year on grade level, with no language delays. He is a very bright kid whose brain is developing rapidly every day. He is an amazingly hard worker, a very good kid, and a great student. If he doesn't have his meds, you can see it in his handwriting - that is how bad it is for him.

 

So, yes, I get VERY upset when people say this, because I believed it, too. I wanted him to behave, and he did. But, because I focused so much on his outward behavior, he suffered for YEARS "stuck in his own head." Those are his words to describe the fog in his brain before meds. He could behave, but he couldn't do anything else while all of his attention was on behaving.

 

Now I have a 6yo who is doing the same, and I hope that due to our previous history, the doctor won't dismiss the idea of ADHD because she can behave. I want her to be able to behave AND achieve at the level she would otherwise.

 

I talk about this all the time, because I want other parents to know that sometimes the answer is right in front of you, but you can't see it through the stereotypes.

[clarkacademy]

Um, so I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but .... I thought ADD and ADHD have been overdiagnosed and that it was common knowledge. :001_huh:

I just feel like it's very frosty in here and I'm not clear on why the PP saying that was so controversial, or why it deserves her being ripped to shreds... Just saying.

:leaving:

 

You got me, I don't get it either. I have two with needs One has autism, OCD, seizures, heart defect and adhd tendencies the other boy has ADHD tourettes and some OCD like issues. I felt nothing she said was off.

 

I think the problem is that if people can admit that alot of these diagnosis are just not so then it makes them feel like theirs is not as real or something. I seen issues working in daycares, preschools and public schools. I see parents all the time harping on the one little issue until it is so over blown it is pathetic.

 

I have seen it in my own family. I knew a girl once who had a daughter that toe walked at 3. She told anyone who would listen her kid was autistic. Cried and everything. There was nothing wrong with that kid except she liked to watch Barbie the ballerina on TV. I have seen mothers who blame their kids behaviors on other people alllllll the time and when called out on it they whine their kid has ADHD he can't help it.

 

I have seen that on this very board quite a few times now. Those same ones are so quick to judge others too.

[amy g.]

Furthermore I always chafe when someone makes an assumption about something I've lived with for sixteen years now when they are basing their opinion on 'google searches'.

 

And not even Google Scholar searches

[Garga]

Woo. Things are getting kinda mean.

 

I took it that bbkaren was referring to ADD type problems and not severe legitimate problems in her post. Not said in the gentlest manner, certainly not, but it seemed that she was only speaking of ADD.

 

I've been here awhile and I've seen plenty of threads where we've all speculated and wondered at the sudden rise in ADD/ADHD dx's in the past couple of decades. So, I didn't think it was unusual for someone to have posted her skepticism about ADD dx's, and wondered if the problems in schools weren't related to permissive parenting instead of medical dx's.

 

I also never took her to mean that she agreed with using the closet as a discipline method, while some people did think she agreed with it. Later, when she was distressed that people thought she agreed with the closet method, and she tried to clarify, she was accused of snark.

 

Eh. I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess it's because it seems like people are jumping on her for things she didn't even say/do.

[Renee in NC]

You got me, I don't get it either. I have two with needs One has autism, OCD, seizures, heart defect and adhd tendencies the other boy has ADHD tourettes and some OCD like issues. I felt nothing she said was off.

 

I think the problem is that if people can admit that alot of these diagnosis are just not so then it makes them feel like theirs is not as real or something. I seen issues working in daycares, preschools and public schools. I see parents all the time harping on the one little issue until it is so over blown it is pathetic.

 

I have seen it in my own family. I knew a girl once who had a daughter that toe walked at 3. She told anyone who would listen her kid was autistic. Cried and everything. There was nothing wrong with that kid except she liked to watch Barbie the ballerina on TV. I have seen mothers who blame their kids behaviors on other people alllllll the time and when called out on it they whine their kid has ADHD he can't help it.

 

I have seen that on this very board quite a few times now. Those same ones are so quick to judge others too.

 

I do agree that there are parents out there like that. I met one at a cub scout function last year. Her ds was an absolute terror, and after one particularly disturbing interaction, she turns to me and says, "He can't help it. He has ADHD and his meds have worn off.":001_huh:

 

I didn't say anything about my kid with pretty severe ADHD, but he looked at me like that mom was crazy.:tongue_smilie:

 

And lest anyone think that I am saying any child can behave - I am not. My now 6yo (the one I mentioned in my PP) got us thrown out of a building one time because she had the most horrific, screaming temper tantrums. People often thought I was beating her the way she carried on. I couldn't make excuses, though. I had to do something about it, not excuse her behavior because is her sensory issues or ADHD.

 

It's a process.