An out of body experience

[Murphy101]

I had a conversation with my husband whereby he informed me that if we stay at the Ritz Carlton :001_huh: concierge suite level :001_huh: then we can use the on call nanny if necessary.:001_huh:

 

My response to all of that was :confused: Why would we do any of that?

 

Dh's response was :001_huh:

 

I have a comfy bed here, I don't use nannies, I'd like to see the sites, do some things, and eat fine food, but we can't afford to do any of that, so why would we bother to travel somewhere just to sit in a fancy hotel?

 

This idea of his is very simply not within my scope of comprehension. I'd look around and appreciate how pretty it all is for about 20 minutes and then be bored out of my ever lovin mind for the next 3 days.

[Jennifer in MI]

I'll go!!!! I'll go!!!!!

 

Seriously, sign me up! Is your dh serious about it? Would you go and use the nanny to watch the kids while you two did some sightseeing? Man. That sounds heavenly!!!

[staceyobu]

Wait, where?

[Trish]

If you can't afford to see sights and eat fine food, how can you afford the Ritz Carlton? Or is the Ritz part of some work-related thing that is paid for? I'd go! Having been once or twice, I'd absolutely go. Even the grounds at the hotel tend to be a vacation. But if you have to pay for it yourself, not so much. It's a lot of money that can be used in other ways.

[Miss Marple]

Is it for a business trip? Maybe you could leave the kiddos home (maybe relative can look after them) and enjoy the time with your husband? It sounds like a wonderful splurge :)

[Murphy101]

If you can't afford to see sights and eat fine food, how can you afford the Ritz Carlton? Or is the Ritz part of some work-related thing that is paid for? I'd go! Having been once or twice, I'd absolutely go. Even the grounds at the hotel tend to be a vacation. But if you have to pay for it yourself, not so much. It's a lot of money that can be used in other ways.

 

Basically my dh has been traveling so much, constantly actually, that he has earned concierge level bonus nights he can use at various hotels. He called to double check and one of those hotels happens to be the Ritz. So the hotel itself would be free and any free services associated with the suite would be included.

 

What do you mean the grounds are a vacation? What is there to do at the grounds?

 

I'll admit, I'm a doer. Sitting around getting pedicures or massages is not my thing. I hate them actually. Second only to shopping. I hate shopping.

 

My baby is a year old and still breastfed. The likelihood of my using a nanny, especially one I just met at a hotel, is pretty much zero.

[chickenpatty]

Go and enjoy the time with your family! Your husband sounds like he wants to do something nice for you!

[Tap]

I had a conversation with my husband whereby he informed me that if we stay at the Ritz Carlton :001_huh: concierge suite level :001_huh: then we can use the on call nanny if necessary.:001_huh:

 

My response to all of that was :confused: Why would we do any of that?

 

Dh's response was :001_huh:

 

I have a comfy bed here, I don't use nannies, I'd like to see the sites, do some things, and eat fine food, but we can't afford to do any of that, so why would we bother to travel somewhere just to sit in a fancy hotel?

 

This idea of his is very simply not within my scope of comprehension. I'd look around and appreciate how pretty it all is for about 20 minutes and then be bored out of my ever lovin mind for the next 3 days.

 

Basically my dh has been traveling so much, constantly actually, that he has earned concierge level bonus nights he can use at various hotels. He called to double check and one of those hotels happens to be the Ritz. So the hotel itself would be free and any free services associated with the suite would be included.

 

What do you mean the grounds are a vacation? What is there to do at the grounds?

 

I'll admit, I'm a doer. Sitting around getting pedicures or massages is not my thing. I hate them actually. Second only to shopping. I hate shopping.

 

My baby is a year old and still breastfed. The likelihood of my using a nanny, especially one I just met at a hotel, is pretty much zero.

 

I am sure it is just my perception, but honestly it sounds like you don't want it to work. Dh wants to spoil you, to give you a bit of time off. It seems like your budget is tight, and dh knows it. He is trying to give you a bit of luxury that won't cost you anything.

 

I would suggest that you look into some free things in the area, make a bit of effort to enjoy a little freedom, use the nanny (or get a sitter you are more comfortable with), and take a minute to breathe.

 

I understand that getting kids to a hotel can be a huge pain, but your attitude about the hotel will make it all worth it...or not.

[jewellsmommy]

Sometimes just a change is nice. Is there a pool on the grounds? I imagine there would be.

 

ETA: My dc just loved the experience of being in a hotel when we stayed 2 nights at the beach in May. It was too cool to really be on the beach for any length of time. They loved the indoor pool though. We took board games with us too. It was a wonderful time. We went out and did things. But they liked just being at the hotel.

Edited July 17, 2012 by jewellsmommy

[Murphy101]

Go and enjoy the time with your family! Your husband sounds like he wants to do something nice for you!

 

Which I guess I might understand except for one thing.

 

While he is traveling he does quite a bit of fun stuff. Because he says he can't stand just sitting in the hotel after work and on weekends doing nothing. Nothing really expensive or extravagant, but still way, way more than any of us at home are doing due to limited finances.

 

But what is it he claims would be nice for me?

 

A weekend stuck sitting in a hotel room.:glare:

 

Now granted I admit I like his company. But seriously, I'd rather sit on our own sofa with him than go through all the pita arrangements of arrangements for 9 other kids and airfare just to sit on a fancy sofa at the ritz with him.:confused:

[Alicia64]

The concierge level at the Ritz is beyond any other hotel experience. Run, do not walk, to your dh's best suggestion on the planet.

 

The nanny option sounds fun, but the food in the concierge lounge is what's really important. Cookies the size of your palm. Beautiful jars of candy. Delicious small plate meals. Usually with to-die-for views.

 

I will never speak to you again if you don't go.

 

Alley ps. your dh is a genius. Just go with it.

[Murphy101]

Dh wants to spoil you, to give you a bit of time off. It seems like your budget is tight, and dh knows it. He is trying to give you a bit of luxury that won't cost you anything.

 

Well from my perspective he is either in denial or after 20+ years with me doesn't have any clue who I am as a person, which is rather hurtful.

 

I have always been a person who hates things like pedicures and shopping for clothes and aimless walks of window shopping. I hated them when he met me as a teen and it hasn't changed. These things don't spoil me. I'd rather have my eye poked out with a fork. I find them annoying, stressful, and grating. Afterwards, my nerves are so fried, I just want to crawl in my bed and hide.

 

And it will cost me a bit. It would cost me the flight tickets, plus I'm sure I would need to make some financial arrangements for those we left the other 9 kids with.

 

I'm fine with using any hotel that doesn't have bedbugs.;) I asked a sincere, "What would we do there?" and HE is the one that said not much.

 

I would suggest that you look into some free things in the area, make a bit of effort to enjoy a little freedom, use the nanny (or get a sitter you are more comfortable with), and take a minute to breathe.

 

I understand that getting kids to a hotel can be a huge pain, but your attitude about the hotel will make it all worth it...or not.

 

No, I WANT to take all the kids if we can. I don't have a problem taking the kids. We just can't afford to take them all. There is no way I'm leaving the baby with someone I don't know and if we can't afford to take the kids, then I don't see how we can afford to take a sitter.

 

I LOVE traveling. Even with all the kids.

 

That's why I'm a bit... Frustrated. :(

 

I'd love to go, but I just don't understand this.

[Tap]

.....

I LOVE traveling. Even with all the kids.

 

 

I'd love to go, but I just don't understand this.

 

Maybe dh would like some time with you alone.

 

You don't want time with him alone, but want to take as many kids as possible.

 

Sounds like you have different vacations in mind. He wants an adult vacation with some down time. You want a family vacation.

 

I am not saying either is right or wrong....just different expectations/desires.

[Murphy101]

The concierge level at the Ritz is beyond any other hotel experience. Run, do not walk, to your dh's best suggestion on the planet.

 

The nanny option sounds fun, but the food in the concierge lounge is what's really important. Cookies the size of your palm. Beautiful jars of candy. Delicious small plate meals. Usually with to-die-for views.

 

I will never speak to you again if you don't go.

 

Alley ps. your dh is a genius. Just go with it.

 

 

Okay.... Hmmm.... I think I will sit him down to see if he can get more details? Maybe HE isn't aware of what all is available?

 

This is alien to me. To me, a hotel is a just a clean comfy bed to nap when you finally drop from gallivanting everywhere. I appreciate a beautiful hotel, but it's not really on my radar.

[Jennifer in MI]

Okay.... Hmmm.... I think I will sit him down to see if he can get more details? Maybe HE isn't aware of what all is available?

 

This is alien to me. To me, a hotel is a just a clean comfy bed to nap when you finally drop from gallivanting everywhere. I appreciate a beautiful hotel, but it's not really on my radar.

 

Maybe give it a chance. Honestly, concierge level is absolutely wonderful. All the additional perks are fun and make you feel pampered.

 

I normally wouldn't allow a stranger to watch my baby either. But, you have a lot of kids - they would help watch out for each other with the adult in charge. In your situation, I'd seriously consider it.

 

If you are a do-er - find things to do in the city you are visiting. Ritzs are usually right in the middle of the city. You should be able to walk to do most things. Ask us here for suggestions! We'll help you out. Then, come back for time with the family.

 

I'd jump at this opportunity! Who knows? Maybe you'll end up loving it!!!???

[Murphy101]

Maybe dh would like some time with you alone.

 

You don't want time with him alone, but want to take as many kids as possible.

 

Sounds like you have different vacations in mind. He wants an adult vacation with some down time. You want a family vacation.

 

I am not saying either is right or wrong....just different expectations/desires.

 

Sigh.

 

This is true.

 

Dh just wants to sleep in and cuddle up and finally have nothing to do and few to none interruptions while he does that.

 

I, on the other hand, spend the majority of my life waiting for people to wake from a nap before I can do anything. I don't want to sleep in. I'll sleep when I'm dead! :tongue_smilie: I usually stay home because it costs too much to go about for anything other than the kids classes/commitments and groceries. And I don't feel comfortable leaving a breastfed baby for more than a couple hours tops, with someone I trust.

[Murphy101]

I normally wouldn't allow a stranger to watch my baby either. But, you have a lot of kids - they would help watch out for each other with the adult in charge. In your situation, I'd seriously consider it.

 

Once again, my other 9 children would NOT going.:)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I doubt he wants to sit on a couch in a hotel even if he wants to stay in the hotel room.;) Most hotels are near things to do and see. I would take his offer up on accommodations and find a way to meet your desires too.

[Barb_]

Once again, my other 9 children would NOT going.:)

 

When my youngest was a baby, we took a honeymoon trip and brought her along. But we got a suite and brought an older child to babysit as well. The older child went along with the understanding that it was primarily a parent getaway trip and she was there to mind the little one. So while she was welcome to head to the pool with us now and then and to get room service, her primary responsibility was the baby. Rich and I had our own space because we had a bedroom door that closed and a sitter for when we wanted to go to dinner or go sightseeing, but the big kid was perfectly happy with the change of pace, the quiet, and lack of siblings in her face for a few days.

 

Barb

[staceyobu]

Could you go somewhere with free activities? Hiking? Or something along those lines? We just got back from NYC and did a free boat ride, museums that you can donate whatever you want, free walk around times square, free 9/11 memorial, etc. It might be worth seeing what locations you can go to and figuring out what you can do. Maybe you could leave dh to sleep in late and go do something!

[happypamama]

I "only" have four children, but I understand your perspective. I don't leave my children either, and certainly not a one-year-old frequently nursing baby. I also am not a mani/pedi/facial sort of person, nor do I like shopping.

 

However, if my husband had that kind of perk available, I could see leaving the older children and taking just the baby. I'd probably try to budget for one nice meal (not so fancy that I couldn't bring the baby with me, but nice enough to be special), and I'd look for free/cheap things that DH and I could do (and I'd be packing my Ergo or a wrap or both for taking the baby with us). If nothing else, it would be a vacation to have just one child to care for, put to bed, etc., not to worry about dishes or tidying up or anything like that for a couple of days.

[thebarefootamazon]

I think I'd go with the nursing baby just to simply get some time to spend with my husband. I don't get the chance to have uninterrupted conversations and we only have four small ones. It'd be nice to snuggle, talk, and do uh, other things while the baby is asleep.

[justLisa]

Well I hate hotels so I'd have to have other things to do outside rather than just sit around and eat candy. And I don't know if I missed something but not able to have all the kids go? I don't think I'd feel good about it.

[Murphy101]

I'm daydreaming and looking into what various ritz offer.

 

I want a beach butler! Lol Laguna Beach Ritz sounds very nice. Museums. Beach. San Diego nearby.

 

Hmmm our 20th wedding anniversary is in January...

[Alicia64]

I'm daydreaming and looking into what various ritz offer.

 

I want a beach butler! Lol Laguna Beach Ritz sounds very nice. Museums. Beach. San Diego nearby.

 

Hmmm our 20th wedding anniversary is in January...

 

I've never been to the Laguna Beach Ritz, but a coworker RAVED about it. I always have taken my twins. We went to the Half Moon Bay Ritz when they were four and the San Francisco and Lake Tahoe Ritz when they were six and seven.

 

The Ritz rolls out the red carpet for kids and families.

 

Also, my dh was never a fan of hotels. Until he stayed at a Ritz. Now he gets it. If you've never been to one you don't know that there's even something "to get."

 

Alley

[Jennifer in MI]

Once again, my other 9 children would NOT going.:)

 

Sorry. I skimmed and misunderstood the point you made about liking to be with your family as meaning you wanted to take them.

[athomemom]

I had a conversation with my husband whereby he informed me that if we stay at the Ritz Carlton :001_huh: concierge suite level :001_huh: then we can use the on call nanny if necessary.:001_huh:

 

My response to all of that was :confused: Why would we do any of that?

 

Dh's response was :001_huh:

 

I have a comfy bed here, I don't use nannies, I'd like to see the sites, do some things, and eat fine food, but we can't afford to do any of that, so why would we bother to travel somewhere just to sit in a fancy hotel?

 

This idea of his is very simply not within my scope of comprehension. I'd look around and appreciate how pretty it all is for about 20 minutes and then be bored out of my ever lovin mind for the next 3 days.

 

:lol:

[Harriet Vane]

It cannot possibly be as bleak as you think.

 

Your husband may want hours and hours alone with you in a hotel room for some grown-up fun together. A lot.

 

Who says you have to go shopping? Are there no parks?

 

If I had a fancy-schmancy room in New York City, for example, I would enjoy walking through Central Park and I would take a free ferry ride past the Statue of Liberty.

 

If it were Chicago, I would spend my time at the beach, at Millenium Park, walking through Chinatown, listening to a free concert at the park, walking along the lake, or visiting Lincoln Park Zoo and the conservatory (right next to the zoo). There are also free dance lessons at the park. All free.

 

If I were determined to stay in the hotel room, convinced that there is nothing fun to do anywhere else, I would bring a book or some scrapbooking or a sewing project. When not showing my loving husband the attention he deserves, I would enjoy my projects.

 

Even with the baby tagging along and no money, you can make your fun if you decide to try.

[bookfiend]

Once again, my other 9 children would NOT going.:)

 

 

Yes, you have 9 children. I would say it should be pretty clear why the man wants his desirable wife alone in a posh hotel room. :D Go and enjoy.

[Murphy101]

Yes, you have 9 children. I would say it should be pretty clear why the man wants his desirable wife alone in a posh hotel room. :D Go and enjoy.

 

Yes I have TEN children so I would say it should be pretty clear he has been getting his desirable wife alone. :D

[Miss Marple]

Yes I have TEN children so I would say it should be pretty clear he has been getting his desirable wife alone. :D

 

LOL! I like the idea of bringing the baby and an older child. Adjoining rooms would make everything delightful ;)

 

Dh and I are feeling the need to get away - the only problem is time. If he isn't sleeping overnight at one hospital all week, he is on call for the other hospital the other week. The Ritz sounds heavenly :001_smile:

[Murphy101]

Don't you think the other kids would kind of resent that tho? Seeing just one of the olders get to go?

 

And it wouldn't be the oldest 2 because they have classes.

[Jaz]

Don't you think the other kids would kind of resent that tho? Seeing just one of the olders get to go?

 

And it wouldn't be the oldest 2 because they have classes.

 

No, I think they would be happy for their sibling and excited about a change at home (someone else in charge). Another vote for seriously considering it! :D

[Oakblossoms]

I wonder if you have some underlying issues with money being tight and he travels a lot. You may not even realize it.

 

And, man life just isn't fair with 10 kids:tongue_smilie: But one day, they will all be old enough to work, sock money away, take off and go to the ritz all by themselves before they have their own children. They can make it fair then.

 

Your husband wants to do something nice for you and it doesn't sound like he can normally do anything like that. Is their another city/country you would like to go to?

Edited July 17, 2012 by Hausunterricht

[Barb_]

Don't you think the other kids would kind of resent that tho? Seeing just one of the olders get to go?

 

And it wouldn't be the oldest 2 because they have classes.

 

When I did this, I talked it down to the other kids (it won't be any fun, it's not a vacation for her because she'll be acting mama, she'll have to be on call all day and night) and talked it up quietly to the one I'd be leaving in charge (room service and takeout, peace and quiet, more screen time than usual, etc.) It's all about the spin :D

[Murphy101]

When I did this, I talked it down to the other kids (it won't be any fun, it's not a vacation for her because she'll be acting mama, she'll have to be on call all day and night) and talked it up quietly to the one I'd be leaving in charge (room service and takeout, peace and quiet, more screen time than usual, etc.) It's all about the spin :D

 

Not a single one of my kids would fall for that. Certainly none of them old enough to be left with the 1 year old.

[Barb_]

Not a single one of my kids would fall for that. Certainly none of them old enough to be left with the 1 year old.

 

LOL, mine aren't stupid but they did :D Maybe they just didn't care that much. I'm sure you don't buy everyone a pair of shoes when one child needs one. There is no way to give everyone the exact same treatment in a large family, even if that were desirable.

 

Are you sure you aren't making excuses :tongue_smilie:

[Kelly1730]

I hope you find a way to make it work for you to go. It does sound like your husband wants to do something nice for you and you never know, you may just enjoy yourself too.;)

[acurtis75]

We have stayed at a lot of nice places on business trips but the Ritz in Key Biscayne Florida was hands down the nicest. The hotel was a vacation in and of itself and I don't consider massages, shopping or pedicures vacation either. There was a private beach with a "beach concierge" which was awesome. There were wine tasting functions, art shows, tennis courts, bike trails, a library/game room, incredible food...I can't remember all the details because it was 8 years ago. We didn't leave the resort for 3 or 4 days and it was a great vacation.

[Miss Marple]

Not a single one of my kids would fall for that. Certainly none of them old enough to be left with the 1 year old.

 

I would have represented it the same as Barb. However, I know that they would know it wasn't quite like that, but they also know that mom needs a break once in a while. If they are old enough to interpret the "spin", they would probably be understanding enough to realize that the situation calls for some selflessness on their part ;)

 

Maybe you could have the others do something special while you are gone - trip to the aquarium or something that they don't get to do often, but would help compensate.

[Barb_]

Now *I* want to go to the Ritz.

[Artichoke]

Now *I* want to go to the Ritz.

 

 

me,too :001_smile:

[Murphy101]

We have stayed at a lot of nice places on business trips but the Ritz in Key Biscayne Florida was hands down the nicest. The hotel was a vacation in and of itself and I don't consider massages, shopping or pedicures vacation either. There was a private beach with a "beach concierge" which was awesome. There were wine tasting functions, art shows, tennis courts, bike trails, a library/game room, incredible food...I can't remember all the details because it was 8 years ago. We didn't leave the resort for 3 or 4 days and it was a great vacation.

 

That does sound very nice! Tho we are thinking of January, so I don't think we will be swimming in the ocean.;). I'd love to though!

[Barb_]

That does sound very nice! Tho we are thinking of January, so I don't think we will be swimming in the ocean.;). I'd love to though!

 

Depending on your tolerance for chilly water, you may be surprised! The Atlantic off Miami is in the 70s in January. Too cold for me, though. I don't swim until the water is above 90.

[Katy]

You need a vacation. And this is not the kind of place you will be "stuck in your room" unless you want to leave the lap of luxury.

[Ibbygirl]

I'd jump at this opportunity! Who knows? Maybe you'll end up loving it!!!???

 

:iagree::iagree: I would too. My dh once got free room at The Polynesian Resort in Disney World and we all got to go. We didn't even go to Disney because honestly we didn't have the money, but we had a great time just exploring the hotel. They had lovely grounds, a little museum, my dd loved the little birds in the lobby and the fountains and such were all so relaxing. Even just going there and doing nothing was a break from the routine and a break sometimes is as good as a rest and winds up making you feel refreshed too. It's the only time I've ever been able to stay in a Disney resort and I loved it. :) PS, I didn't get any manis or pedis or anything like that either and still enjoyed it. I can't even imagine a Ritz Carlton. I'd totally go in a heartbeat! :)

[Ibbygirl]

That does sound very nice! Tho we are thinking of January, so I don't think we will be swimming in the ocean.;). I'd love to though!

 

Is the Ritz you're going to in South Florida? It's gorgeous here in the winter. The weather is glorious and warm and the Canadians don't seem to mind swimming in the ocean then. :p It is crowded though. That's our high season for tourism. Key Biscayne is nice though. Very swanky. :)

[Murphy101]

Well we are constrained by school schedules since 2 oldest kids are in tech and college classes.

 

So that leaves 3 days during thanksgiving. Or a week during the worst travel time of the year - Christmas. (which would mean not being home for Christmas)

 

Personally, I would LOVE to ditch Christmas entirely and have a family vacation be the family gift.

 

If we were to go later in January, it would be a regular weekend and a small nightmare to make arrangements for all the kids that would have to stay home.

 

If I'm going in winter, I want to go somewhere warm. Mostly to avoid the risk of getting snowed in somewhere.

 

Dh isn't being much help with planning. The plane ticket there is too much, the drive there is too long, no suggestions or agreement with me on what to do with kids .... So I'm about to say forget it then if it's too much trouble to help plan.:glare: