BMW Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 (edited) Sigh. My firstborn son is graduating Thursday. I taught him to read. I taught him so many things. I have such great memories of his early school years. I poured so much into my kids during those years. When I divorced, his father lost custody and chose not to see his children for THREE years, after which time he told them many lies. I chose to let my children choose who to live with because they were then teens and I figure over the years they will come to see who is who and the dust will settle and they will realize each of our characters. My son left two years ago. When he lived with me as a Freshman, he was an honor roll student and won a high award rarely given to Freshmen... it was a character award presented by his tennis coach. He was honored and he was a great guy. He still is. But, he went to live with his dad two years ago... and is graduating this week and put up a post that four years ago he was lost, but that he was saved and gives credit to his dad and dad's girlfriend and they are all celebrating... I am not invited to the celebration and wouldn't want to go even if I was because that would be awkward... but, gosh, it HURTS. I feel slapped in the face by my son. He said: Four Years ago I was lost in the world with no direction. Today I stand with amazing people who give time, energy, and valuable resources that could be put to other uses directly to me. ***I will edit this some parts of this, please don't quote me*** Edited June 6, 2012 by BMW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug: that would sting to hear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child. :grouphug: Isn't that the truth! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry you're hurting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 It will come to him one day. Maybe not soon, but it will come, nevertheless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reflections Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Ouch. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 There's someone who isn't as grown up as he thinks he is. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Oh Bee, :grouphug: I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug: So, so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 I am so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Country Mouse Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 I'm sorry that your son's comments were so, understandably, hurtful to you. Teens can be very self-centered, it sounds like it's all about him right now, sadly. Praying for healing for your mother's heart and try to think on what is true and real, not your son's perception. Hopefully in time, he will recognize your love and sacrifices for him. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Oh, how hurtful, I am so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry for what you're going through. We're having a lot of trouble with my oldest - won't go into details here - but lots of heartbreak, mourning for what could have been (family relationships, etc) but isn't, feel like I've lost my little boy to the world. So I know a little of what you're going through. Kids can bring such heartbreak. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenpatty Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 I'm sorry that your son's comments were so, understandably, hurtful to you. Teens can be very self-centered, it sounds like it's all about him right now, sadly. Praying for healing for your mother's heart and try to think on what is true and real, not your son's perception. Hopefully in time, he will recognize your love and sacrifices for him. :grouphug::grouphug: So true. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiegirl Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 I am so sorry. :grouphug::grouphug: This hurts my heart as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 :grouphug: FWIW, my son, who is two years older than yours, seems to realize now just how amazing I am. :D What I mean is, tho he hurts you now by seeming to choose his dad over you and not acknowledge your vital role as a nuturing, loving mum, one day he'll realize that he can be thankful for both you and his dad. It may still sting, but he will express it better-- It's hard to wait on that. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted June 6, 2012 Author Share Posted June 6, 2012 Thanks everyone. I think the part that hurts is he considers himself as having being lost prior to the past couple of years and that's rather personal... After the comment he stated thanks to ALL who helped him get where he is. His sister commented, "What about mom, ____, and me? We were a big part of you growing up!" And he said that he included us in "ALL". But, that doesn't change that he views himself as being lost and where he is giving the true credit. The important thing is that the next two days will stand out in his memory and I don't want him to look back and remember how hurt his mom was because of a comment he made or an awkward discussion we had. I will drive into town where I have a lovely hotel room and will take him to dinner (a rather-very-nice place!) and then to the hotel to swim/relax/etc. for as long as he wants to hang out. On graduation day, I will basically show up to watch and visit with his grandparents and might get to say hello to his siblings, then I'll head back out of town because there is a party for him that I am not to go to... As with most things in life, I can give energy to what I want to. I can choose my attitude and make lemonade. In private, I can sigh and acknowledge my feelings. And thank heavens for grandkids... I think they are a special salve from God after we've been beaten up by life for a while... :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 Ow. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 I think most kids are sort of lost at some point, depending on what 'lost' means to you. I didn't really find my intellectual life direction until I was 20ish, and I didn't find my emotional life connections until Older. I love my parents and they were good to me, but parents don't give direction. That is why coming of age novels involve kids leaving home or new people coming to town. I think my son was sort of lost in terms of having a direction. He found that direction later, no credit to me. All that to say that you should try not to take this personally, even though it hurts. It is soooo emotionally complex when a son graduates and moves on. Hang in there, Bee. You know you were a great, loving, dedicated mom, and the truth will be more apparent to him as he grows up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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