Question about homosexuality

[*********]

I think that a lot of times, the homosexuals who take on a sort of "extreme" way of dressing (compared to others of the same gender) are exhibiting a symptom of some baggage they are carrying around. And sometimes, they are making a "statement" or otherwise seeking attention.

 

This is what I wonder about. I wonder if a guy with all the exterior mannerisms and extreme gay affect is just trying to keep it all out in the open, so he won't have to continually "inform" people that he's gay. Or same with a girl who looks very specifically masculine and acts "butch." Is she trying to make it externally obvious so she won't have to bring anyone up to speed? Kwim? I mean, there are some people with whom you never wonder, you get the picture within 2 minutes of meeting them. They couldn't announce their preferences more clearly if they had a flashing neon tee-shirt that said, "I'M GAY!" That always seem to me like an intentional affect, not just how they naturally tend to be.

 

Quill, that's exactly the case with the family member I referenced. She is definitely making a statement, rebelling against her parents beliefs, and 'announcing to the world' by how she has changed her appearance.

[kalanamak]

Lol, you're not asexual. :lol: Asexual means no interest in your own bits. They are "dormant" as my brother says.

 

I knew someone in college who pined for a couple of years after his gf dumped him. He said, "I'm a nun. I ain't gettin' none, and I don't want none."

[ereks mom]

All the gay couples i know (both male and female) will have one partner who is more feminine or submissive while the other is more dominant or masculine. The difference varies from slight to extreme.

 

:iagree:

[AdventureMoms]

Quill, that's exactly the case with the family member I referenced. She is definitely making a statement, rebelling against her parents beliefs, and 'announcing to the world' by how she has changed her appearance.

 

Yeah, sometimes you need to make a statement. I look completely straight and honestly? It's a huge PITA and I often consider shaving my head or something so I wouldn't have to continually come out to every single person I meet. It's stressful and exhausting.

 

Plus, Pride is a real thing. Pride in the gay community is a way of defending ourselves from a lot of the really mean stuff that's out there. It is not easy to be LGBTQ in this world, and the fact that it can be hidden (unlike, say, ones race) sometimes makes it even harder.

 

That said, my DW didn't come out until her late 20's and spent most of her teens and early 20's trying (unsuccessfully) to look and act in a feminine way. Once she embraced reality and who she was and started wearing masculine clothes and not trying so hard, she felt so much more comfortable with who she is.

 

Many women have masculine characteristics. Some have lots of masculine characteristics. Many men have feminine characteristics. Some have lots of feminine characteristics. Takes all kinds. Thus the rainbow thing.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I haven't read all the responses, but your question made me chuckle. Two of my best friends are lesbians (they're not a couple). My best male friend is gay. I've been to more gay pride marches, gay bars and LGBT fundraising events than most gay people! :lol:

 

Anyway, from how it's been explained to me, there are different "levels" from femme to hard butch in the lesbian community, and different women are attracted to different types. Both of my close friends self identify as "soft butch". One of them is attracted to more traditional feminine qualities, and one of them likes other "soft butch" chicks.

[AdventureMoms]

What's to like? I don't get it. Don't get me wrong, I love men. I find men sexy, I find being with a man wonderful. But boy parts are just...so awkward. And ugly. lol I don't find vagin*s attractive in the least bit either. Maybe I am asexual? In all reality my husband and I have a very active sex life. I just don't care for the parts, lol.

 

In terms of physical appearance? I don't get it at all. Neither boy parts or girl parts are vaguely attractive to me.

 

However, I am definitely NOT asexual, lol

[Bluegoat]

That's actually a good question.

 

 

 

Yes, some you don't even have to meet. You can see it across a room. Others, you'd have no idea until the person decided to inform you.

 

Why? Inquiring minds want to know.

 

I remember reading something about a study not long ago that dealt with recognizing that someone was gay just from photos or something like that. It was kind of surprising.

 

Ah, here it is:

 

There's Something Queer about That Face

 

Without being aware of it, most people can accurately identify gay men by face alone

[KungFuPanda]

What's to like? I don't get it. Don't get me wrong, I love men. I find men sexy, I find being with a man wonderful. But boy parts are just...so awkward. And ugly. lol I don't find vagin*s attractive in the least bit either. Maybe I am asexual? In all reality my husband and I have a very active sex life. I just don't care for the parts, lol.

 

The parts are an integral part of your very active sex life! What's NOT to like.

[TranquilMind]

I remember reading something about a study not long ago that dealt with recognizing that someone was gay just from photos or something like that. It was kind of surprising.

 

Ah, here it is:

 

There's Something Queer about That Face

 

Without being aware of it, most people can accurately identify gay men by face alone

 

I looked at these, just to see if they showed the faces, because I think I can detect this as well. I didn't see the faces they used for the studies.

 

However, that second article is just whacked. They put men in rooms and showed them porn. Almost anyone is going to react to porn in one way or another - revulsion, attraction, some mixture of both, most likely, especially men, and regardless of the subject matter. They concocted results from this.

[WishboneDawn]

I remember reading something about a study not long ago that dealt with recognizing that someone was gay just from photos or something like that. It was kind of surprising.

 

Ah, here it is:

 

There's Something Queer about That Face

 

Without being aware of it, most people can accurately identify gay men by face alone

 

I remember reading a blog of a woman who was extremely good at knowing when people were lying. She used a couple of tools including a very good knowledge of basic facial expressions but one of the surprising things to me was that she said she had a very good memory for faces and that she had found people with similar faces tend to have similar personalities. She used that as a short cut for judging how reliable a person might be or what responses and quirks to expect.

 

I watched a reality TV program several years back where I saw a doppleganger of one of my brothers. What shocked me wasn't just that he looked so much like my brother but that he talked like him, had the same mannerisms and, as far as I could tell, some similar personality qualities.

 

I've been wondering recently just how linked our appearance is to our personality. Off track a bit but the studies you linked to might be a piece of that.

[stripe]

So, where are you meeting these couple with a "very masculine" half?

 

I agree it's a stereotype, but I've known some lesbians who fit it, buzz haircut, almost men's clothes (including one who favored overalls), no makeup, etc. (One such woman, who was an outspoken lesbian almost activist, announced she wanted to become a man and now lives as a gay man, but, like Chaz Bono, minus the "final surgery." However, I don't want to derail this thread with that one.)

 

What's weird is when I was in college we had a professor whom everyone thought was gay. Everyone. Especially the gay male students who appeared to find it glaringly obvious. We didn't know much about his personal life except one singer he liked and talked about all the time (no, it wasn't Barbara Streissand or Liza Minelli but just didn't seem the obvious choice for a middle aged man). Anyhow he ended up having a horrendously messy divorce, from his wife. Everyone was shocked! And I mean, shocked.

Edited May 30, 2012 by stripe

[stripe]

For real. The male body is not, IMO, an art form. :ack2: :lol:

 

Uh, I thought this was a classical homeschooling forum. Get with the program ladies and start idealizing the young, muscular male body.

 

 

 

I must confess to being surprised when I saw a real man after all that Greek art.

 

 

:auto:

[elegantlion]

Uh, I thought this was a classical homeschooling forum. Get with the program ladies and start idealizing the young, muscular male body.

 

 

 

I must confess to being surprised when I saw a real man after all that Greek art.

 

 

:auto:

 

Look, ma, no hands. :lol::lol:

[Rivka]

I agree it's a stereotype, but I've known some lesbians who fit it, buzz haircut, almost men's clothes (including one who favored overalls), no makeup, etc.

 

I don't think anyone is saying that there aren't butch lesbians. I think people are saying, correctly, that lesbians don't necessarily sort themselves into couples with one butch partner and one femme partner. (Although it is true that butch/femme was part of the culture of working-class lesbians in the pre-Stonewall era.)

[Matryoshka]

I agree it's a stereotype, but I've known some lesbians who fit it, buzz haircut, almost men's clothes (including one who favored overalls), no makeup, etc. (One such woman, who was an outspoken lesbian almost activist, announced she wanted to become a man and now lives as a gay man,

 

:confused: Do you mean that once this person started living as a man, they suddenly became attracted to men rather than women? Or do you mean this person was a transsexual who started living as straight man and is still attracted to women?

 

Sorry, that confused me.

[mamaraby]

:confused: Do you mean that once this person started living as a man, they suddenly became attracted to men rather than women? Or do you mean this person was a transsexual who started living as straight man and is still attracted to women?

 

Sorry, that confused me.

 

You would usually use the word transgender because it's more inclusive, although transsexual could apply here. The key would be to allow the person to identify first before assuming. I only mention it as an FYI kind of thing. :0)

 

One's gender (what they identify with inside) has nothing to do with who they are attracted to. For example, I know myself to be female (which also happens to match the way I was born on the outside), but I don't love my husband (or am attracted to him) because I am female. The one does not come from the other. I am female, period. I am attracted to men, period. My female gender identity is not what causes my attraction to my husband.

 

So it is entirely possible for a transgender individual to identify as something other than their outward gender while still being attracted to who they were before they transitioned (so that their outward gender identity matches who they identify as on the inside).

Edited May 29, 2012 by mamaraby

[ocelotmom]

All the gay couples i know (both male and female) will have one partner who is more feminine or submissive while the other is more dominant or masculine. The difference varies from slight to extreme. I see this in hetero couples too, you tend to have a dominant one and a submissive one (and I don't mean any of this in the kinky sense). As far as lesbians looking butchy I'm not sure why this is. I know a lot of straight women who dress drab and boyish, have short hair. I don't like the look but to each his own.

 

Well yes, given the fact that these things are a spectrum rather than a binary, if you put any two people together, they're unlikely to be exactly matched in terms of masculine/feminine or dominant/submissive. You'll probably be able to choose one to identify as slightly more feminine (or whatever) if you choose to look at it that way.

 

There's also the fact that dominant and submissive are complementary traits - in most successful long term relationships, one person is going to be more dominant, and the other more submissive. Two very dominant or very submissive people are probably not going to develop a relationship, because there's incompatibility there. So if you go looking for it, chances are you're going to find it.

[Nestof3]

What's to like? I don't get it. Don't get me wrong, I love men. I find men sexy, I find being with a man wonderful. But boy parts are just...so awkward. And ugly. lol I don't find vagin*s attractive in the least bit either. Maybe I am asexual? In all reality my husband and I have a very active sex life. I just don't care for the parts, lol.

 

:iagree: I think it's kind of funny looking. :auto:

[mom31257]

 

So it is entirely possible for a transgender individual to identify as something other than their outward gender while still being attracted to who they were before they transitioned (so that their outward gender identity matches who they identify as on the inside).

 

This is what's confusing in her situation, though. She was a lesbian, which means she was attracted to women. Now she's living as a gay man, which means she's attracted to men, but only gay men, right? It seems to me that even though she realized she was transgender, she should still be attracted to women. If she had the surgery all the way and was attracted to women, that would make her a heterosexual. Wow, that's confusing!

 

I'm afraid that we've swung so far as a society on accepting everything and anything that people are going to end up questioning their feelings constantly and never know who or what they are. Like I said originally, consenting adults should be able to do what they want. I just think teens are going to be the ones sadly affected, especially ones that might feel different or odd. Now they will immediately be questioning their sexuality, even if that's not what made them different to begin with.

[I.Dup.]

I'm afraid that we've swung so far as a society on accepting everything and anything that people are going to end up questioning their feelings constantly and never know who or what they are.

 

I think this is a good point. I think we are a culture of navel-gazers.

[TranquilMind]

This is what's confusing in her situation, though. She was a lesbian, which means she was attracted to women. Now she's living as a gay man, which means she's attracted to men, but only gay men, right? It seems to me that even though she realized she was transgender, she should still be attracted to women. If she had the surgery all the way and was attracted to women, that would make her a heterosexual. Wow, that's confusing!

 

I'm afraid that we've swung so far as a society on accepting everything and anything that people are going to end up questioning their feelings constantly and never know who or what they are. Like I said originally, consenting adults should be able to do what they want. I just think teens are going to be the ones sadly affected, especially ones that might feel different or odd. Now they will immediately be questioning their sexuality, even if that's not what made them different to begin with.

 

Very confused generation of youth right now, with good reason.

[Jpoy85]

I know a lesbian couple and one is more "boy" than the other, but neither are super girly girls.

[ocelotmom]

I'm afraid that we've swung so far as a society on accepting everything and anything that people are going to end up questioning their feelings constantly and never know who or what they are. Like I said originally, consenting adults should be able to do what they want. I just think teens are going to be the ones sadly affected, especially ones that might feel different or odd. Now they will immediately be questioning their sexuality, even if that's not what made them different to begin with.

 

I'm pretty sure the questioning is nothing new.

[Farrar]

I think this is a good point. I think we are a culture of navel-gazers.

 

I see what you and other people are saying... and I do think it can be a problem for people that the world is so full of choices and that there are so many flavors of identity out there - not just for gender and s*x but for everything. But it doesn't lead me to think that less acceptance is the answer. More that we need to find new ways to help children be comfortable with themselves and sure of their identities.

 

And I say the human form is art no matter what the parts.

[Guest]

Yeah, sometimes you need to make a statement. I look completely straight and honestly? It's a huge PITA and I often consider shaving my head or something so I wouldn't have to continually come out to every single person I meet. It's stressful and exhausting.

 

Plus, Pride is a real thing. Pride in the gay community is a way of defending ourselves from a lot of the really mean stuff that's out there. It is not easy to be LGBTQ in this world, and the fact that it can be hidden (unlike, say, ones race) sometimes makes it even harder.

 

That said, my DW didn't come out until her late 20's and spent most of her teens and early 20's trying (unsuccessfully) to look and act in a feminine way. Once she embraced reality and who she was and started wearing masculine clothes and not trying so hard, she felt so much more comfortable with who she is.

 

Many women have masculine characteristics. Some have lots of masculine characteristics. Many men have feminine characteristics. Some have lots of feminine characteristics. Takes all kinds. Thus the rainbow thing.

 

Thanks for sharing your experience.

 

What is your view on effeminate guys who appear to like girls? Are they not being honest with themselves? Or are they just heteros who really like decorating and making tartlets and tea? One of my sisters was always picking guys like this. For whatever reason, the guys she was attracted to often appeared to be gay in manner and interests. I don't really get that, either from the standpoint of what's attractive to her nor what guy who is hetero has such a gay affect?

Edited May 29, 2012 by Quill
typo

[LibraryLover]

Ellen is a Cover Girl, and she does tend to not dress overly feminine, yet she is gorgeous and feminie-looking. Sometimes I am struck by how perfectly beautiful she is. I've seen her in person, and she has very fine features, glowing, perfect skin and amazing eyes, and is suprisingly tiny/petite. Very 'girly'. Yet, I guess Porche is the super-feminie one in dress. Most of the lesbian couples I know have similar ideas about clothing, looking more like sisters or friends who might share clothing.

 

When people can be who they are freely, I think you see fewer stereotypes.

Edited May 29, 2012 by LibraryLover

[Home'scool]

nm

Edited May 29, 2012 by Home'scool
wrong post

[Bluegoat]

I agree it's a stereotype, but I've known some lesbians who fit it, buzz haircut, almost men's clothes (including one who favored overalls), no makeup, etc. (One such woman, who was an outspoken lesbian almost activist, announced she wanted to become a man and now lives as a gay man, but, like Chaz Bono, minus the "final surgery." However, I don't want to derail this thread with that one.)

 

What's weird is when I was in college we had a professor whom everyone thought was gay. Everyone. Especially the gay male students who appeared to find it glaringly obvious. We didn't know much about his personal life except one singer he liked and talked about all the time (no, it wasn't Barbara Streissand or Liza Minelli but just didn't seem the obvious choice for a middle aged man). Anyhow he ended up having a horrendously messy divorce, from his wife. Everyone was shocked! And I mean, shocked.

 

My dad once had to go through a big raft of psychological evaluations related to his job. After two days of tests, the shrink came into the room and said,

 

"So, you're gay."

 

And my dad said "No!?"

 

And then the shrink said, "Oh, then I guess you just like to cook".

 

And in fact gay men hit on my dad fairly regularly. They apparently used to hit on his dad all the time as well. And then I know other guys who have never had that happen.

[AdventureMoms]

Thanks for sharing your experience.

 

What is your view on effeminate guys who appear to like girls? Are they not being honest with themselves? Or are they just heteros who really like decorating and making tartlets and tea? One of my sisters was always picking guys like this. For whatever reason, the guys she was attracted to often appeared to be gay in manner and interests. I don't really get that, either from the standpoint of what's attractive to her nor what guy who is hetero has such a gay affect?

 

I know a number of feminine straight men. I'm of the view that some men have a strong feminine side, just as my wife has a strong masculine side. Those men may or may not be gay. They will probably be presumed gay because of cultural issues, but they may in fact just be men who like feminine stuff and also like women. Just as their are masculine women who like men. And some women are definitely attracted to more feminine men.

 

Gender identity and sexual orientation are separate (albeit overlapping) issues. FWIW, most cross-dressing men are heterosexual (but like to dress as women).

[AdventureMoms]

 

I'm afraid that we've swung so far as a society on accepting everything and anything that people are going to end up questioning their feelings constantly and never know who or what they are. Like I said originally, consenting adults should be able to do what they want. I just think teens are going to be the ones sadly affected, especially ones that might feel different or odd. Now they will immediately be questioning their sexuality, even if that's not what made them different to begin with.

 

Of all the things that make it hard to be a teen right now, I don't think that an increase in acceptance of gender expression and sexual orientation even makes the top 10. It sure makes it easier for those teens who are not completely heterosexual and gender-typical though.

[Matryoshka]

So it is entirely possible for a transgender individual to identify as something other than their outward gender while still being attracted to who they were before they transitioned (so that their outward gender identity matches who they identify as on the inside).

 

That's exactly my point. If the person was originally identifying as a lesbian, she was attracted to women. If she then ended up living as a man (transgender) I'd assume he then would still be attracted to women, not change his sexual orientation as well. Gay men are attracted to other men. So after the change, he would be living as a straight man, not a gay man. :confused:

[AdventureMoms]

That's exactly my point. If the person was originally identifying as a lesbian, she was attracted to women. If she then ended up living as a man (transgender) I'd assume he then would still be attracted to women, not change his sexual orientation as well. Gay men are attracted to other men. So after the change, he would be living as a straight man, not a gay man. :confused:[/QUOte]

 

Yeah that is odd. Maybe this person was feeling that "differentness" but it took awhile for hir to figure out exactly what combination of gender identity issues and sexual orientation issues they were dealing with?

[Mrs Mungo]

I've met mostly couples like this, and a few who were both feminine.

 

I agree - the masculine woman with a feminine looking woman like Cynthia Nixon flummoxes me. If you want a woman who is indistinguishable from a man, don't you want a man? I don't get it either and would love to know.

 

This makes no sense to me. I know women who are into sports, have short hair, don't dress girly and are married to men. That doesn't mean that their husband wants a man.

[Farrar]

Yeah that is odd. Maybe this person was feeling that "differentness" but it took awhile for hir to figure out exactly what combination of gender identity issues and sexual orientation issues they were dealing with?

 

From what little I know about transgender issues, this is actually not uncommon. I've read that after transitioning, people apparently often have a renewed period of figuring out of their s*xual orientation.

[stripe]

:confused: Do you mean that once this person started living as a man, they suddenly became attracted to men rather than women? Or do you mean this person was a transsexual who started living as straight man and is still attracted to women?

 

Sorry, that confused me.

 

From outspoken lesbian activist to identifying as a gay male. From liking women to liking men. This person has done media interviews stating there is no male organ, so I am relying on that, as well as personal knowledge and knowing acquaintances of this person, whom I saw when I was younger (works in the same field as a close relative of mine, but not at the same location, don't need to specify the details). I only knew this person as a very "out" lesbian.

 

Very confused generation of youth right now, with good reason.

This person is at least 55 years old and the change was more than 10 years ago. So not "today's kids."

 

 

I don't think anyone is saying that there aren't butch lesbians. I think people are saying, correctly, that lesbians don't necessarily sort themselves into couples with one butch partner and one femme partner. (Although it is true that butch/femme was part of the culture of working-class lesbians in the pre-Stonewall era.)

Yeah, I got it. I've known more than one gay person.

 

Actually I think "people" aren't speaking with one voice. Some people do only know butch/femme pairs, and both lesbian members identified themselves as being in butch/femme relationships.

Edited May 29, 2012 by stripe

[Guest]

I know a number of feminine straight men. I'm of the view that some men have a strong feminine side, just as my wife has a strong masculine side. Those men may or may not be gay. They will probably be presumed gay because of cultural issues, but they may in fact just be men who like feminine stuff and also like women. Just as their are masculine women who like men. And some women are definitely attracted to more feminine men.

 

Gender identity and sexual orientation are separate (albeit overlapping) issues. FWIW, most cross-dressing men are heterosexual (but like to dress as women).

 

I get it now. Thanks for your explanation.

[mamaraby]

That's exactly my point. If the person was originally identifying as a lesbian, she was attracted to women. If she then ended up living as a man (transgender) I'd assume he then would still be attracted to women, not change his sexual orientation as well. Gay men are attracted to other men. So after the change, he would be living as a straight man, not a gay man. :confused:

 

And it could also be the fact that one's s*xual identity, who they are attracted to, is a great deal more fluid and complex than any of our binary categories let on. There is science to back up the idea that one's identity is more of a continuum than an issue of if...then statements. Again, though, gender and who one is attracted to are not something that necessarily goes hand in hand nor does it have to be a steady constant, though it can be for some.

 

Maybe before admitting to others that ze was transgender, a relationship with a cis-gendered female was the only way that ze could express their gender identity in a way that was perhaps more socially acceptable than being open about one's gender dysphoria. Maybe it was an issue of "I feel like I'm male on the inside so I should be attracted to women" or maybe it was just an issue of being attracted to a person who happened to female and lesbian and loving the person at that time. It could very well have been a confluence of factors working themselves out in the jumbly mess that is life. There's really know way of knowing without being that person.

[stripe]

I was afraid the FTM transgendered person would take the thread in a random direction, and I have no further information to share about this individual.

 

I would like to clarify my previous post, which was made in response to a post suggesting there aren't many butch/femme pairs, a term I was originally hesitant to use but now will.

 

I inadvertantly replaced my original post with this one, but I've restored my original and posted my update in this post.

 

I agree it's a stereotype, but I've known some lesbians who fit it, buzz haircut, almost men's clothes (including one who favored overalls), no makeup, etc.

My point was, I know the butch/femme thing is a stereotype, but I know lesbians who fit it. Not that I have known a few butch lesbians, which is what Rivka thought I meant.

 

I know multiple "butch" lesbians in relationships with fairly feminine partners. I also have worked with women whose sexual preference I never asked about nor was told, but who were not married or in a relationship, who were fairly butch and who appeared interested in more feminine type women. In one case, after I left my job, I got the impression from a former co-worker that two such women began some sort of a relationship, which I had suspected was in the works. I also know several somewhat femme type lesbians who have had relationships with "butch" types. Many of the "butch" types wore men's clothes or men-like clothes (boxy t-shirts, men-cut jeans, many had buzz cuts). This is based over my entire life (including thirty years ago) and women in many different geographic areas. Not just one couple I saw at the mall last year. I certainly don't think it's all women, but it's certainly a subset.

Edited May 30, 2012 by stripe

[hsbeth]

Thanks to the OP of this thread and for all you have made great contributions, reading through the responses has been valuable to me.

 

My sister came out in her mid 20's after breaking off a long term relationship/engagement with a man we were very close to and having dated exclusively men. It was a shock to our family for many reasons.

 

I love her and support her. It's caused me to wrestle with a lot of issues because of my conservative Christian faith. It's been about 8 years and I think I am just now getting a handle on it and can honestly say that my sister and I are at a positive and understanding place in our relationship.

 

Over the last few years one of the more difficult things for me has been in regards to her style of dress and appearance. I know that it's trivial, but it's honestly been hard for me. Prior to coming out she tended to wear athletic style clothing (she is a great athlete) but I would absolutely have described her as fully feminine, if not in the "frilly" way. Over the last few years she has begun to wear increasing masculine clothing (IOW clothing off the men's racks exclusively) and will wear men's dress clothing such as ties, etc.

 

I know that it's my (superficial) issue, but honestly I believe that I struggle with it because it feels like a rejection of womanhood and, as an extension, of myself in some way. I've got three brothers and only one sister, so I've had to grieve a loss of what *I* imagined her life would be like. She's much younger than I and lived with me for a bit as a teen, so there's some motherly type stuff thrown in the mix on my end too. As she's dressed more and more masculine it's continued to feel like we have even less in common, IYKWIM.

 

My sister does tend to be involved in relationships with women who dress and act in a more stereotypically feminine way.

[Jenny in GA]

 

If lesbians are attracted to women, why is it that lesbian couples usually end up with one being very masculine? It just seems to me that if you really like women, you would like feminine women. Is being homosexual just a physical thing, in that you still the opposite qualities of a man but are attracted to women's bodies more?

 

I haven't read the replies yet, but just wanted to tell that I have truthfully always wondered the exact same thing.

[Jenny in GA]

I haven't read the replies yet, but just wanted to tell that I have truthfully always wondered the exact same thing.

 

 

One thing I just remembered: In college I was pretty good friends with a lesbian couple. One of them told me once that she didn't wear makeup since she started the relationship a couple years earlier, because "I'm proud of who I am as a lesbian."

 

So I don't know if there is (or was?) a sort of thinking in the community that certain ways of looking "show" that you're a lesbian, or represent lesbian pride.

 

Also, some people asked the OP where she'd seen these "masculine lesbians." I'm not the OP, but for whatever it's worth, I'll answer the question:

Our neighbors are an older lesbian couple, and they are both very masculine looking.

It also seems like one featured in news stories often look that way -- I am thinking about an article I read about two months ago having to do with how a lesbian was treated at a Catholic funeral. This woman was very masculine-looking.

 

Also, umm ... a lot of masuline-looking female couples when I went to see Indigo Girls in concert.

[Scarlett]

 

My sister came out in her mid 20's after breaking off a long term relationship/engagement with a man we were very close to and having dated exclusively men. It was a shock to our family for many reasons.

 

I love her and support her. It's caused me to wrestle with a lot of issues because of my conservative Christian faith. It's been about 8 years and I think I am just now getting a handle on it and can honestly say that my sister and I are at a positive and understanding place in our relationship.

 

I can certainly imagine how difficult it must be.

 

I've read this post 3 times over and I just keep coming back to the fact that you support her. And how that has been a struggle for you because of your conservative Christian faith. Did/does your faith and or religion tell you that homosexual acts are a sin? And if so did you come believe that teaching was incorrect after your sister came out?