Poll (wait for it!): as a student, did you know of s*xual assaults in your school(s)?

[dirty ethel rackham]

I didn't know of any assaults in high school. I did have a boy pull my bra strap in 6th grade in a Catholic school. He did it one day too many and I turned around and decked him. Shocked my myself, my teachers and him. I was always a meek, mild-mannered one who was bullied for years, but that day, I snapped.

[BlsdMama]

I voted yes for boy students and unwanted touching on girl students. I counted nothing concensual.

 

Yes for a teacher making advances towards a student, but I didn't vote that direction because that was concensual as well even if the female students didn't REALIZE it was a status quo thing and yes, they accepted it, but he was in an idolized position as their beloved athletic coach. :glare: (I still think he's a dirt bag and he's STILL teaching... Oh, and still married last I knew.) He's moved on from private school to public school and is one of the reason I'd like my girls to never, ever attend high school. I saw a really beloved friend deal with a huge amount of guilt over a pass he made at her.

[Scuff]

I did not see non-consentual stuff going on beyond bra strap snapping. I went to a rather large public school. I don't doubt that it happened, but it wasn't rapent. And being a large school, it was easy not to see things.

[Rebecca VA]

Rapent? How...on topic!! I love it!

[butterflymommy]

That I know of-- yes to students at public school, yes to students at one private school, yes to a teacher at another private school.

[KungFuPanda]

 

I don't think there was even bra snapping or pantsing at my middle school. I thought that was just something that happened in Judy Blume novels, not in real life. Certainly none of that at my high school.

 

I must have gone to the most disciplined high school ever. I, too, thought this stuff was fiction. I used to wonder how cheerleaders got away with walking around in their uniforms all day. Or how kids could wear short-shorts and tank tops to school. There was no such thing as 'skipping classes.' Mine was a small, rural school. Kids did attempt all manner of stupid things, but we got in trouble for EVERY little infraction that was caught. Our principle was a tough, professional woman that nobody crossed. She wasn't unkind, but she was serious about discipline and education. Teachers who couldn't control a class did NOT last long. In a sexual assault situation I'm sure the police would be called. I graduated in 1990.

[Scuff]

Rapent? How...on topic!! I love it!

 

Hehe. I don't always check my spelling or typos on the phone. :D

[Remudamom]

I wasn't assaulted, but harassed by a male coach. In front of a bunch of guys. I went home and told my mom about his suggestion. Private school that my parents helped start. Coach was dealt with.

[justLisa]

I must have gone to the most disciplined high school ever. I, too, thought this stuff was fiction. I used to wonder how cheerleaders got away with walking around in their uniforms all day. Or how kids could wear short-shorts and tank tops to school. There was no such thing as 'skipping classes.' Mine was a small, rural school. Kids did attempt all manner of stupid things, but we got in trouble for EVERY little infraction that was caught. Our principle was a tough, professional woman that nobody crossed. She wasn't unkind, but she was serious about discipline and education. Teachers who couldn't control a class did NOT last long. In a sexual assault situation I'm sure the police would be called. I graduated in 1990.

 

Me too. My high school was fairly large with a reputable athletics department and high scores. We had an "open campus" policy for breaks and lunch. The security officers seriously must have had eyes everywhere because they would catch anyone, every time trying to skip class. Once my girl friends and I tried to ditch an assembly. We managed to get out (my friend drove) but on the way back in, sure enough there she was standing in the parking lot waiting for people to get back who skipped. We respected them though, because they were somehow scary and caring all in one. And you did NOT want to deal with mr principal.

 

There were MANY teen pregnancies in school. I don't know if it is a religious thing but the couples always ended up having the baby and getting married young, while the parents helped out. I never heard of a single s*xual assult. There was one kid who commited suicide but I don't know the details of that.

[WistfulRidge]

The highschool I attended for 9th was pretty decent about trying to nip such things in the bud, but there was a huge animosity between the "jock/cheerleader" class and those involved in the performing arts that everyone not involved pretended to ignore. The guys from the former were terribly nasty to us girls belonging to latter. One of my friends was a victim of attempted rape (interrupted, thank heavens) and the guy was expelled, but after that the theater/orchestra/choir girls didn't go anywhere unescorted (by male friends). One of my best friends was late to every single class after that incident because he made sure myself and a couple other girls made it safely inside of our respective classes before he'd go to his.

 

In the school that I attended (briefly - about six weeks) in the 10th grade prior to my mother deciding to homeschool was full of the groping, hand under skirts in class, having s*x in the parking lot during lunch, smoking various things in the bathroom sort of behavior. There were a few inappropriate teacher-student relationships that everyone knew about.

[TranquilMind]

I am curious over the recent stories about this. I am making the poll multiple choice.

 

Eta: Did students get groped in class? On the bus

Wow, I've read several responses and I must have grown up in a different universe. Small town, back in mid-70's. There were NO sexual assaults to my knowledge. I think one or two girls got pregnant and left. A few smoked pot. That's it. Compared to what is going on in my daughter's school right now - police raid last week got three students expelled for illegal drugs - it was paradise.

 

The only thing that everyone knew was that the Chemistry teacher was attracted to high school girls. He never did anything at all but get extremely close and had horrible breath. He liked my best friend and I; I got an unearned grade in that class, I do remember that.

[ereks mom]

I voted "yes & I went to public school" because I know of ONE incident that happened when I was in about 10th grade (so, 1976-ish) in which a girl was groped by another student during an educational film that what shown in a darkened classroom. At least, that was the rumor. I never knew what really happened, but the gossip was that this happened, and the girl's parents came to the school to talk to the administrators about it. I can't remember any similar incidents during my time as a student.

[4everHis]

In 7th grade, I had a boy who groped me frequently. He'd walk by my lockers and grab me on the way by or grab me while walking down the halls. We shared art class together, and he sat by the sink so he could grope me while I cleaned up. I wasn't able to avoid him. My mom took it to the principal and told them that if they didn't do anything to stop it, I had her permission to do whatever was necessary. Well, the school did absolutely nothing about it. One day I was at my locker and saw him coming. I pretended to be focused on getting stuff in/out of my locker and turned just in time to land a good kick to his crotch. I wasn't seen by a teacher, but had I been, my mom would have been on my side. He never touched me again.

 

In 9th grade, a tough girl came up to me and told me that so-and-so wanted her to beat me up. I asked her if she wanted to know why and told her that he had been repeatedly (like a dozen times) asking me out. I kept telling him no so he sicced her on me. She laughed and walked away. I pointed him out to my mom one day. She pulled a sudden u-turn in a busy street, drove the wrong way back up the school's drive way, got out of the car, and chewed him out in front of his friends. She was 5'3" and a size 3; he was 6'2" and backpedaled with "yes, ma'am and no ma'am". He never bothered me again. You don't mess with my mom. :lol:

 

Throughout high school, I had one boy in particular who grabbed my breasts or commented about them on a near daily basis. He as so childish, I mostly ignored him.

 

 

My mom did a lot of things wrong (and still does) but she always had my back with school problems.

 

Don't know about other 'sides' of your mom but I absolutley LOVE her for these side. :hurray:

[SKL]

I guess I'm not sure what you call sexual assault. I assumed it was more than just an annoying behavior. I did not consider minor touching done by someone before puberty to be assault.

 

I should also note that there is a possibility that I'm not remembering everything. I graduated high school almost 30 years ago.

 

The only incident I remember was a teacher grabbing a teen girl's butt. He was immediately fired.

 

I would not be surprised to hear that there were other incidents that were not widely reported.

[Slartibartfast]

I don't recall anything beyond some bra snapping (with retaliatory decking often accompanying it)

[Plucky]

I was attacked on the bus in 7th grade. I was kissed and groped. Scared me to death.

[J-rap]

What is it about Chemistry teachers? Mine seemed to be attracted to the girls too, and the girls just knew and kept their distance. It was a large metropolitan, multi-racial school, and though there were many problems (gangs, fights, etc.), I do not recall hearing about a single sexual assault incident. Given a school that size, it seems like it must have happened. Maybe it was just not talked about in those days.

 

I was inappropriately touched by a teacher while meeting with him in his office. I scooted out of there in a hurry, but it never in a million years occurred to me to tell anyone. I dropped out of his class and avoided him.

 

I graduated from high school in 1978.

[angela in ohio]

I must have gone to the most disciplined high school ever. I, too, thought this stuff was fiction. I used to wonder how cheerleaders got away with walking around in their uniforms all day. Or how kids could wear short-shorts and tank tops to school. There was no such thing as 'skipping classes.' Mine was a small, rural school. Kids did attempt all manner of stupid things, but we got in trouble for EVERY little infraction that was caught. Our principle was a tough, professional woman that nobody crossed. She wasn't unkind, but she was serious about discipline and education. Teachers who couldn't control a class did NOT last long. In a sexual assault situation I'm sure the police would be called. I graduated in 1990.

 

Same here, except our principal was a very professional man.

 

I thought all this was the stuff of Lifetime channel movies. :confused:

 

I'm tempted to track down classmates who teach there now and see if things have changed. I'm sure they have, based on what I see in our local schools.

[Food4Thought]

I voted yes, public school. My best friend was raped in junior high by one of the "popular" guys - I never did trust basketball players after that. In high school, I was groped in the art hallway repeatedly by a guy I barely knew, who was in none of my classes and didn't even know my name. I mentioned it in passing to a teacher I trusted, and he went ballistic on my behalf. They took the kid in and gave him a good talking to, and he never even made eye contact with me again. I wrote that teacher a letter when I got to college and thanked him for caring.

[LucyStoner]

1 of my teachers sexually harassed several students, including throwing one girl on a desk during a lesson, menacing over her and demanding to know what she would do if a 200 pound black man was trying to rape her at that instant. This was the 9th grade, in a classroom of 30 students all totally dumbstruck.

 

Also in 9th grade, a friend of mine was harassed seriously by a student. He would grope her and whisper obscene remarks.

 

Later at a different high school a student was sexually harassed and statutorily raped by a teacher. It took the district a very long time to fire this dude. He was guilty as sin and I am quite certain that this was not the first time, but this situation was the only one I had specific knowledge about.

Edited May 5, 2012 by kijipt

[Catherine]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope he got what was coming to him and more.

[LMD]

I know a friend of mine was harrassed by a teacher in highschool. She reported it to the principal who did nothing. That teacher later ended up in jail for statutory rape of another student.

 

Other than that, not really. There was a game called 'catch and kiss' in elementary school - and you can guess what that was about. Some immature bra snapping et al but nothing in school that I would call assault.

 

There was a lot of loose and drunken behaviour - I remember some teachers had to give our year level a talking to because our lunch room was becoming a "sex pit", hilarious! As far as I know everything was consentual though - I married him after highschool ;). There was also rumours of a girl and one teacher after the end of year formal (equivalent to prom I guess), but she was very much the one doing the pursuing!

[LucyStoner]

But, hands down shirts or up skirts was a daily occurrence. Why *wouldn't* it be s*xual assault? What would it be if it happened in an office? Why should schoolgirls have to put up with it?

 

Exactly. 14 year old girls should not have to deal with stuff that would never be tolerated in the workplace or from a random guy walking up to an adult woman on the street or in a store. When we teach girls that unwanted groping is no big deal, we are telling them that they don't deserve to have their bodies and boundaries respected.

[Lab1]

Absolutely not! I went to a huge school and will admit I didn't know everyone. There were about 3,000 in my graduating class. I only know one girl that was groped and it was not at a school function. We had a lot of bully problems, gangs, drugs, alcohol and juvenile delinquent behavior, but not sexual assault. I know someone that made an adoption plan for an unplanned for baby. The father was her boyfriend, who broke up with her because of the pg!

 

I was a very late bloomer who didn't develop physically until 9-10 grade, so its possible that no one cared! None of my friends who developed normally had problems with assault that I was aware of. My DH says there were minor things in his HS. The worst was a friend that was thrown into the boys locker room. She saw more then she wanted to and passed my DH muttering "gross!"

[justamouse]

Ohh yeah, all the time. Bra snapping, purple nurples, skirt flipping , butt feeling.

 

The gym teacher and one of the gorgeous senior girls mooned over eachother constantly. We ALL knew and we all made fun.