kolamum Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I read through the thread about the Mormon missionaries with fascination, mostly because I've seen them around town and had them come to our door once where dh turned them away. We've moved {twice} since then and have wondered if they'd turn up at our new house.. Anyway, my question is down the same line, but in regards to the JW's. I am not a JW, my grandma was. Therefore I know some basis of their religion and belief. I know it is not my choice. However, we now happen to live on the same road as the JW church. We went for 4.5 months before they started coming door to door. They questioned where I went to church, what I believed, if I read my Bible daily, etc. I was patient and polite despite being annoyed. They left a book of Jesus' life in chronological order with the promise they'd be back to see how I liked the book. They showed up again today while I was about to head out. I wasn't as friendly today. I wasn't mean or rude {imho} but I wasn't chatty. I tried to keep the conversation short. He kinda picked up on it and asked if he'd caught me at a bad time. I said yes we were about to go out, but I was willing to hear him for a moment. He was polite and kept it short. He did not promise to come back, all though I did not tell him not to. Rather he was asking questions as was truly gobsmacked when I informed him we were reading the Bible chronologically this year. He felt it was an amazing and lofty goal. Then told me that if/when he came back he'd tell me where he was on his readings and maybe I could tell him mine. Here's the thing. I'm really NOT interested in them making monthly visits. I know that it might only be 5 minutes, I know I could share my beliefs, but I also know that he'd not be interested and strongly disagree with what i believe. That's okay. What I don't want is him constantly coming by. I don't want him interrupting me during school times. I don't want to be rude and say, "I'm happy with my eternal potion with God, please stop visiting.." ;) So, what's the next politest way to say, "No, I'm sorry not interested.." FWIW, I'm all ready feeling bad for telling a charity group to get out of my face and back off. I'd like to NOT offend this religious group without feeling like I'm a prisoner in my own home. You know.. keeping blinds and doors closed so I can ignore them. I've even had to set up a code for my kids incase I'm in the toilet and these people come to the door. Seriously over it. We had a different couple visiting our last home and dh was polite for several months and finally told them he wasn't interested and to stop calling. Sheesh, I hope it doesn't come to that *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate in Arabia Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I don't want to be rude and say, "I'm happy with my eternal potion with God, please stop visiting.." ;) Actually this doesn't come across rude to me, assuming it's not said in a snarky tone of voice. When we were living in Chicago we were on someone's regular route. I politely said 'no thanks' but that was not sufficient. The only thing that ended it for us was when they visited while my mil was visiting from Saudi, and she told them she would take their materials if they would take some of hers on Islam. They declined and didn't come back after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 To be honest, your responses HAVE been encouraging them to come back. You need to, very bluntly, say "I'm happy with my religion. I'm not interested in discussing this with you. Please don't visit me again. Have a nice day." You can be polite, but there needs to be a "no", not a "not right now" or it's not really a no. In my neck of the woods, they don't even ring doorbells. We just find their tracts stuck in our door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Being polite does not mean either answering questions or taking literature. They come on a cycle to our street, but I learned long ago that a, "I'm sorry but I'm happy with what I believe," accompanied by closing the door is the way to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 To be honest, your responses HAVE been encouraging them to come back. You need to, very bluntly, say "I'm happy with my religion. I'm not interested in discussing this with you. Please don't visit me again. Have a nice day." :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 So, what's the next politest way to say, "No, I'm sorry not interested.." Do what I do and tell them I'm a Mormon and I'll read their stuff if they read mine ;) We seriously have them coming around nearly every weekend - BUT never the same ones after I make my offer ;) Most of the time I just don't bother to answer the door anymore. They know I am home -my kids run to the window and wave but they get the hint after a couple knocks and no answer :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 :iagree: A nice smile and a "We're not interested" will do the trick without being mean. Really, you're doing them no favor wasting their time if you have no intention of becoming a JW or Mormon or Baptist or whatever. (My favorite line ever is "Sorry, we currently have no openings in our pantheon" by a poster here whose screen name I cannot remember. I thought that was hilarious, although it's never popped into my head until after the tried and true "No thank you, we're not interested.") Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicAnn Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 As a JW, just tell whoever comes to the door "Thank you, but I am not interested." We go to a million doors, and have heard it before. :) He won't come back, but someone MAY come back during the next "cycle" (usually a year or so). If you are still not interested, just tell whoever come that. We just hit up the same areas on a cycle in case someone moves or whatever. Oh, and in general, if you do decide to talk with them or get a magazine, it is usually a monthly visit at the door. We don't stop by at random times, unless requested. Take care!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I had to be VERY blunt. They are a hard sell, and the only way to stop a hard sell in its tracks is with a wall taller and stronger. I am NOT interested, do NOT ask me one more question (because they're 'fishing' questions) have a nice day, and shut the door. In their face, if must be because I've had some that WOULD NOT stop. And I hated being rude, but she Would Not Stop. Now, the Mormon boys have *never, ever* been rude, so it's not them that I'm speaking of. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotAVampireLvr Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Your responses are actually encouraging to them. You need to be firm about it and leave no room for discussion or they will keep coming back. I had a pretty negative experience with the JW's coming to my door when we first moved to our neighborhood. I was definitely too friendly and they came back twice. In the end it was awkward and I was a very harsh with my words because I was so frustrated. I did not set a good example of Christian love. I learned my lesson from that experience. The Mormon missionaries were actually quite pleasant to deal with so it was harder to put on the game face, but I needed to be just as firm with them as the JW's. In the case of the Mormon's however I had prepped myself with a polite script to say to them and gently shut the door. The Mormon's only came to my door that one time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 You may want to write a short letter exressing your desires and keep it close by. When they come next time, open the door and hand it to them. Then close the door. [Make sure you include in the letter a request for no future visits]. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Do what I do and tell them I'm a Mormon and I'll read their stuff if they read mine ;) We seriously have them coming around nearly every weekend - BUT never the same ones after I make my offer ;) Most of the time I just don't bother to answer the door anymore. They know I am home -my kids run to the window and wave but they get the hint after a couple knocks and no answer :D That can also get you on a list of houses to skip.;) I've seen them on my street, and they skipped mine. But I really had to shut down the last pair that knocked as they started telling me how to homeschool . . . :001_huh: My dh loves to talk to them though. But a simple. "no thank you, I'm not interested." is all that should be needed. I agree with a pp, your polite conversation has been encouraging them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMA Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 One year my neighbor told a pair of missionaries "No Thank you. Please do not come back." She is of the mind, and rightly so, you do not have to explain yourself. Just tell someone "No" and leave it at that. It doesn't matter if they are salesmen or missionaries. Well, they came back the next day. She called the police on them for trespassing. It turned out to be a huge incident. Maybe she went overboard, but she was upset they came back and she did not want them at her house again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
La Condessa Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Well, I've also had the experience that telling them you are mormon gets you on the 'skip that house' list with the JWs--even after having a very pleasant religious discussion with the young man, and not asking them not to come back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 To be honest, your responses HAVE been encouraging them to come back. You need to, very bluntly, say "I'm happy with my religion. I'm not interested in discussing this with you. Please don't visit me again. Have a nice day." You can be polite, but there needs to be a "no", not a "not right now" or it's not really a no. In my neck of the woods, they don't even ring doorbells. We just find their tracts stuck in our door. :iagree: The LDS just move on. I've had 50/50 experiences with JW's. Half the time, I will tell them that I'm not interested, we have a Church, I already know what they believe and I disagree with their theology/beliefs, yes we may have some moral issues that we agree on but that is separate, and no, I won't take their handouts, because I will be wasting your materials when I put them in the trash as soon as they leave. Generally, they are respectful and leave. Others have tried to keep me at my door with my blouse half buttoned and a fussy, tired baby on my hip because they want to "share words of comfort" with me...uhm, no, you woke my nursing baby and disrupted my school day...to one elderly JW that started yelling and screaming at me after she tried to show me something in their version of the Bible and I went and proved her wrong in the original languages. I was very polite to her...but oh, I was going to be annihilated for such :001_huh: It's humanity...each person is different. I think the LDS have more training and ground rules for behaviour and approach than the JW's do (I'm open to any opinions or corrections on that from the JW's ;) Just going off of what I've perceived from my experiences). I do currently have a sign up on my door now, due to the JW's and the energy-salespeople. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I'm so very bad at sending the JWs away. I always just politely nod and I take their literature. Sometimes I literally just don't answer my door. My brother was over here one time and they knocked and I peeked out the window and saw that it was them and he laughed that I refused to answer my door. But I told him I am not required to open my door to whoever happens to knock on it. I read that JWs are under a lot of pressure to knock on a certain number of doors and hand out a certain amount of literature. I'm not sure if that's true but I can't imagine that being a large part of my religion. None of them ever said anything about me converting. I don't even know if they want me to convert. Maybe they just want to keep stopping by and dropping off their magazine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 "no thank you, I'm not interested." :iagree: This is pretty much what I say to anyone who knocks on my door that I don't know.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 (edited) I used to be a JW. If you take tracts/magazines/books, they won't stop coming unless you specifically tell them not to. In fact, they report every single one of those you take. What they want is to start a weekly Bible study with you. They get to report that, too. You have to be clear. If you say that he is not to come again, he will mark it on the line of your address on the card of your neighborhood and you'll get I think 1 or 2 years without a visit. Why do they come back at that point if you've told them to never come again? Well, they say maybe you moved or maybe you're now more receptive spiritually. Edited February 7, 2012 by Sputterduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 You have to be clear. If you say that he is not to come again, he will mark it on the line of your address on the card of your neighborhood and you'll get I think 2 years without a visit. Why do they come back at that point if you've told them to never come again? Well, they say maybe you moved or maybe you're now more receptive spiritually. The church I used to belong to had a "No contact" list for people who were officially members but didn't want to receive communications from the church. One day, DH was told that he needed to visit everyone on the "No contact" to make sure they still didn't want contact. :001_huh::banghead: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I had to be VERY blunt. They are a hard sell, and the only way to stop a hard sell in its tracks is with a wall taller and stronger. :iagree: I'm sorry to say that I had to get quite blunt with the ladies who repeatedly showed up at the door. We have a Kingdom Hall in our neighborhood, so they proselyte this area heavily. It started when my husband took some literature (because they had a tiny child with them handing it out, and how the heck do you say no to that?) and they came back every. single. week. for WEEKS. I tried to be kind. I belong to a proselyting religion myself, my grandparents are JW. But I could not get them to stop coming to the door and I finally had to get a little rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 Bah, I was hoping to avoid the whole, "Stop coming back" thing.. BUT.. clearly I can't. *sigh* :lol: They all ready know I go to church and where. They all ready know that I read my Bible daily and all that. The fellow wants to reference things in his Bible and ask me how I feel about it, the woman was trying to sell me on her church via my kids. Chances are if it is a monthly thing my door will be closed next time {changing seasons} and I'll be in the learning room where they most likely won't see me unless peeping in my windows which I highly doubt they'd do. ;) We've had them come to all but one home we've lived in and one time they were content to not come back after I told them I all ready attended Church and believed in God. Second home they pestered dh until they caught him in his pj's holding a sick kid. They tried to preach to him and he finally said, "i'm sorry but look this isn't a good time and I'm happy with my church." After that someone would come round and leave me with a booklet every time a natural disaster or major event happened. AHHH.. if it is only a monthly thing I guess I'm free until March. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 :iagree: This is pretty much what I say to anyone who knocks on my door that I don't know.;) especially the meat guy. eeeuuuuwww. blech. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Bah, I was hoping to avoid the whole, "Stop coming back" thing.. BUT.. clearly I can't. *sigh* :lol: They all ready know I go to church and where. They all ready know that I read my Bible daily and all that. The fellow wants to reference things in his Bible and ask me how I feel about it, the woman was trying to sell me on her church via my kids. Chances are if it is a monthly thing my door will be closed next time {changing seasons} and I'll be in the learning room where they most likely won't see me unless peeping in my windows which I highly doubt they'd do. ;) We've had them come to all but one home we've lived in and one time they were content to not come back after I told them I all ready attended Church and believed in God. Second home they pestered dh until they caught him in his pj's holding a sick kid. They tried to preach to him and he finally said, "i'm sorry but look this isn't a good time and I'm happy with my church." After that someone would come round and leave me with a booklet every time a natural disaster or major event happened. AHHH.. if it is only a monthly thing I guess I'm free until March. :lol: Being "clear" is not the same thing as being "rude". It's not rude to calmly and politely indicate where your boundaries are for any relationship, including the door-to-door kind. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessicamcc Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I have to say that being honest is the best way to go. If you are truly not interested, we understand. We are looking for those that are interested. We often have a very good response from some that are glad we came to their door. Some of you seemed to have a bad experience- and for that I apologize! Our mission is to spread the good news in the bible, not harass others. Just as in any religion, there are some that some that will come across as over zealous or even a bit odd. For the most part, we are just your average people who care.:) I have to say that it can be confusing to differentiate who is truly interested and those that are too shy to say "no thank you". I truly appreciate those who are polite. It makes me so sad when someone is really rude to my family. I am just a mom who loves God and her family and am trying to do what I feel is best. I think every other homeschool mom out there knows that there are MANY other things at home that I could be doing at home that day.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I'm really NOT interested in them making monthly visits. I know that it might only be 5 minutes, I know I could share my beliefs, but I also know that he'd not be interested and strongly disagree with what i believe. That's okay. What I don't want is him constantly coming by. I don't want him interrupting me during school times. I don't want to be rude BUT "I'm happy with my eternal potion with God, please stop visiting.." ;) Tell him this. In no way can it come across as being rude, and you've put everything out there to end their visits. Kindly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 We don't answer the door when we see them come. I am not obligated to answer the door every time someone rings the doorbell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I had to be VERY blunt. They are a hard sell, and the only way to stop a hard sell in its tracks is with a wall taller and stronger. I am NOT interested, do NOT ask me one more question (because they're 'fishing' questions) have a nice day, and shut the door. In their face, if must be because I've had some that WOULD NOT stop. And I hated being rude, but she Would Not Stop. Now, the Mormon boys have *never, ever* been rude, so it's not them that I'm speaking of. ;) :iagree: I have had several visits where they argued with me that many Jews accept Jesus in their hearts. :001_huh: I have stopped being nice. I know, not the best position, but I'm sick of being nice and then people being pushy or rude about my religion. I usually just say "no, thanks" and close the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtoamiracle Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 No Trespassing sign, or tell them 'do not call back ever". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Candid Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I don't know if anyone has mentioned this, but I have read (somewhere, I don't remember) that you should not take printed literature from door to door religious groups that they will follow up if you do. I would avoid that in the future. One thing I remember reading in another place was of someone who kept their own tracks and would offer to swap tracks. It strikes me that this might be the solution for you due to your unique situation. However, there is one more bold idea that is all my own. I don't know enough about JWs to know if they have a pastor, but since you live so near, is it possible if there is such a person to call explain the situation politely (but have no, zero discussion of faith issues) and tell them exactly what you've said here: you'd like to be a good neighbor but you don't want weekly, monthly, quarterly visits and you don't want to feel you are a prisoner in your home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I don't want to be rude and say, "I'm happy with my eternal potion with God, please stop visiting.." ;) So, what's the next politest way to say, "No, I'm sorry not interested.." Neither of these responses is rude. If you don't tell them you're not interested, they will continue coming back. Being honest will save their time and yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 I don't know if anyone has mentioned this, but I have read (somewhere, I don't remember) that you should not take printed literature from door to door religious groups that they will follow up if you do. I would avoid that in the future. Maybe some do, but it's not been my experience here OR where we used to live. Here we get the JW's about once every 5 or 6 years. Have my whole life. We always take what they hand us, thank them, and they're on their way not to be seen again for several years. We had a Baptist couple who would come to our door in VA. They were really nice. I took their literature both times. We lived there 3 years and they made the rounds early on and just before we moved away. Both times there was something going on at the church and they were letting us know and inviting us to come. The place we lived when we first got married, we had the JW's show up once. Took their literature. Never saw them again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 So, what's the next politest way to say, "No, I'm sorry not interested.." "no, sorry, I'm not interested." your chattiness has encouraged him. Once *should* be all you need to say it before he gets the message and leave, but if he persists in attempts at chatting - repeat, smile, and close. the. door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 (edited) Do what I do and tell them I'm a Mormon and I'll read their stuff if they read mine ;) I let my dh answer the door 'cause he loves to talk. ;) they tend to avoid our house after that. I see them on our street, but they don't come here. I have no problem telling them I'm not interested and closing the door. the last set I ended up talking to started telling me what curriculum I needed to use for christian homeshooling. I guess the didn't like SWB. Edited April 2, 2012 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 If you aren't feeling confident about tell them you don't wish for any more visits, you could put up a No Soliciting / No Religious Queries sign outside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 "No thanks, have a nice day!" I fail to see how politely declining a door to door salesman can possibly be considered rude. I agree with the others that you have encouraged this but there's no reason to waste your or his time once a month for the rest of your life... just say no thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 Bah, I was hoping to avoid the whole, "Stop coming back" thing.. BUT.. clearly I can't. *sigh* :lol: They all ready know I go to church and where. They all ready know that I read my Bible daily and all that. The fellow wants to reference things in his Bible and ask me how I feel about it, the woman was trying to sell me on her church via my kids. Chances are if it is a monthly thing my door will be closed next time {changing seasons} and I'll be in the learning room where they most likely won't see me unless peeping in my windows which I highly doubt they'd do. ;) We've had them come to all but one home we've lived in and one time they were content to not come back after I told them I all ready attended Church and believed in God. Second home they pestered dh until they caught him in his pj's holding a sick kid. They tried to preach to him and he finally said, "i'm sorry but look this isn't a good time and I'm happy with my church." After that someone would come round and leave me with a booklet every time a natural disaster or major event happened. AHHH.. if it is only a monthly thing I guess I'm free until March. :lol: I was like you, kindly making small talk taking their literature even though we do not agree whatsoever with JW. UNTIL the last time they came. My infant ds had been sick and not sleeping and keeping me awake. They rang the doorbell after I FINALLY got him down for a nap. :glare: They have not been back..and probably won't be for a very long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 I don't know if anyone has mentioned this, but I have read (somewhere, I don't remember) that you should not take printed literature from door to door religious groups that they will follow up if you do. One night last month, I asked the kids to bring in the box that the UPS man had left on the front porch while we were out. It was the clothes that I'd ordered from Boden, and the box was in really bad shape. I opened it, and DS16 pulled out a handful of JW literature. :001_huh: Apparently, when we didn't answer the door, they stuffed their flyers into the tear in the side of the box. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 We don't get any door-to-door solicitations in our apartment building (we live on the third floor, and the door the second floor is locked) so if anyone tried the second floor door, they would probably get discouraged and leave, even though the third floor is not locked. The pizza guy hates to find us. We get asked on the street occasionally, the last time was a couple of really nice Mormon boys. They handed out a little business card that I took in passing. I had two kids, and kept walking and said "thank you"- if they had tried to stop me I would have just said "I'm sorry, I have an appointment" It's hard to have polite conversation next to a busy street with two kids. That being said, I had a different experience several years ago. A JW man came to my door and I talked to him briefly. He said he would return again. The next time he returned, I glanced out the curtain before I answered, and didn't answer. He never came back. I felt bad, but I didn't want to encourage him in something that just couldn't happen. I hope since you live so close to the church that you can figure something out so they are not coming so often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.