itsheresomewhere Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 If you or your spouse was schedule a procedure with a doctor that rubbed you the wrong way, would you still do it with the said doctor? Even if there was a chance that the 2nd opinion might do the same procedure. DH is scheduled for surgery on Friday and something is very strongly telling me to go for a second opinion. If it were me, I would but he thinks the second person will say the same thing. He does agree that the doctor either hates bariatric procedures or a very poor communicator. The said doc has even pawned us off on a colleague who we insisted to meet. We truly felt bad for him as he had no clue who we are or why he was there until we told him. This doctor recommended a medicine for after the procedure that is a no no with his other med. I had to point that out. Doctor even told us allergic reactions to a certain test he had was unlikely until I called her out on it and had supporting documentation. Please don't pass off throat closing, itchy skin and typical allergic reactions on me. It cleared up with benedryl. After that, I asked about pre-medicating him in case of another reaction. She poo-poo'd it. FWIW- DH's gastric surgeon has said he should get a second opinion. But as I said he only see's the glass half empty thing. Would you insist on a second opinion? As I said, my gut tell me to go somewhere else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I always trust my gut, or at least try to. In this case, it sounds like you have more than just a gut reaction to feed off of, so even more incentive to seek out another opinion. Aside from maybe an extra copay, what are you out by doing it? IMO, totally worth it for peace of mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Before I scheduled any type of surgery I would ask for a second opinion, unless it is an absolute emergency. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I would go based on the fact he doesn't sound like a very good doctor. Maybe I'm just reading it wrong, but it sounds like he's missing several key facts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Always trust your gut on things like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Thank you. It is for heart surgery. The doctor thinks it could be and I quote- It could be nothing, it could be a blockage or just the way he was born. I think that leaves a very large gap. I swear this Doctor poo poos everything we say or ask. Doesn't even believe in chemo causing damage even though we have other doctors who say have told us that. I am making the appt with the heart doc the gastric recommends. It is just making DH see what everyone else sees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 If you or your spouse was schedule a procedure with a doctor that rubbed you the wrong way, would you still do it with the said doctor? Even if there was a chance that the 2nd opinion might do the same procedure. DH is scheduled for surgery on Friday and something is very strongly telling me to go for a second opinion. If it were me, I would but he thinks the second person will say the same thing. He does agree that the doctor either hates bariatric procedures or a very poor communicator. The said doc has even pawned us off on a colleague who we insisted to meet. We truly felt bad for him as he had no clue who we are or why he was there until we told him. This doctor recommended a medicine for after the procedure that is a no no with his other med. I had to point that out. Doctor even told us allergic reactions to a certain test he had was unlikely until I called her out on it and had supporting documentation. Please don't pass off throat closing, itchy skin and typical allergic reactions on me. It cleared up with benedryl. After that, I asked about pre-medicating him in case of another reaction. She poo-poo'd it. FWIW- DH's gastric surgeon has said he should get a second opinion. But as I said he only see's the glass half empty thing. Would you insist on a second opinion? As I said, my gut tell me to go somewhere else. Get another doctor! I had something similar happen to me. Had a bad feeling about a doctor that was to repair a hernia, so I just got a different doctor. During surgery it turned out to be something else... I can't remember what now, but had the doctor not been careful, things could have gone very bad. Follow your gut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Thank you. It is for heart surgery. The doctor thinks it could be and I quote- It could be nothing, it could be a blockage or just the way he was born. I think that leaves a very large gap. I swear this Doctor poo poos everything we say or ask. Doesn't even believe in chemo causing damage even though we have other doctors who say have told us that. I am making the appt with the heart doc the gastric recommends. It is just making DH see what everyone else sees. Heart surgery? I wouldn't trust my heart to a doctor I didn't have complete confidence in. You mentioned several problems with this doctor. I'd look for another doctor, period. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Run far far away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma aimee Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 nope, if the Doc doesn't make me feel good and right -- we go else where. to a differnct city once. :0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Run from this place! Get a second opinion!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Thank you. It is for heart surgery. The doctor thinks it could be and I quote- It could be nothing, it could be a blockage or just the way he was born. I think that leaves a very large gap. I swear this Doctor poo poos everything we say or ask. Doesn't even believe in chemo causing damage even though we have other doctors who say have told us that. I am making the appt with the heart doc the gastric recommends. It is just making DH see what everyone else sees. Heart surgery? Your OP sounded like it was something minor, like a mole removal. Even if it were mole removal, I'd seek a second opinion. With heart surgery--oh yes, absolutely! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 Heart surgery? Your OP sounded like it was something minor, like a mole removal. Even if it were mole removal, I'd seek a second opinion. With heart surgery--oh yes, absolutely! I didn't really want to say it to get opinions. DH was raised to not question doctors. Even though over the years, we have had to have things fixed from uneducated doctors. He only has come around to questioning things medically recently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunD Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I would definitely switch doctors. I'm guessing your DH just plain doesn't like doctors and all that goes along with seeing them? He'd rather just get this over with instead of meeting, testing with, etc, another doc who "will probably say the same thing", i.e. recommend surgery? I'd just tell him that the facts are: 1. This doctor won't admit what he doesn't know. That could be horribly dangerous during something like heart surgery! He's already ignored possible drug interactions and dismissed an allergic reaction. 2. He also doesn't seem conscientious or well-prepared. If he is going to prescribe drugs, he should first research their interactions, read your DH's medical history to see what he's already taking, and know the possibility of other reactions, like allergic ones. If he won't open a book or carefully read a patient's chart, how prepared do you think he's going to be the morning of your surgery? 3. Even if another doctor recommends the same drugs and surgery, I would rather give my money to someone who WILL be humble and prepared on that day. You are trusting the surgeon with your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvasMom Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I always trust my gut, or at least try to. In this case, it sounds like you have more than just a gut reaction to feed off of, so even more incentive to seek out another opinion. Aside from maybe an extra copay, what are you out by doing it? IMO, totally worth it for peace of mind. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 (edited) .. Edited December 24, 2012 by ksva Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 I would definitely switch doctors. I'm guessing your DH just plain doesn't like doctors and all that goes along with seeing them? He'd rather just get this over with instead of meeting, testing with, etc, another doc who "will probably say the same thing", i.e. recommend surgery? I'd just tell him that the facts are: 1. This doctor won't admit what he doesn't know. That could be horribly dangerous during something like heart surgery! He's already ignored possible drug interactions and dismissed an allergic reaction. 2. He also doesn't seem conscientious or well-prepared. If he is going to prescribe drugs, he should first research their interactions, read your DH's medical history to see what he's already taking, and know the possibility of other reactions, like allergic ones. If he won't open a book or carefully read a patient's chart, how prepared do you think he's going to be the morning of your surgery? 3. Even if another doctor recommends the same drugs and surgery, I would rather give my money to someone who WILL be humble and prepared on that day. You are trusting the surgeon with your life. He is a rather get it over with guy. He has no interest in medical stuff and I think it confuses him. I used to work in the field so its my job as I understand and ask. I did have to explain the procedure to him before we went and he said my explanation was better and he understood it. Also, most of the time he goes to doctors its bad news- like its cancer and its back again stuff. So I understand that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 It might help if you can get him to read up on his condition and the surgery procedures (internet stuff maybe?) so's he can 'question' the doctor for himself. I did this with one of our ds's last spring. Our (grown) ds had to have a periodontist do a couple of skin grafts on 2 teeth. (caused by "overly aggressive orthodontic treatment") We read all we could find about it on the net - about the different procedures, online reviews of the periodontists, reading message boards with posts by people who had had the procedure done on their own teeth, etc. There were 3 in town. We eliminated one via our internet readings. We visited the other 2. I went back into the room with ds at each dentist. I had coached ds as to how to 'question' them. He even had his own written notes, pencil, and questions. But I went to ask things for myself (we paid for it). Ds eliminted a second dentist based on the type of procedure he would have used. He chose the LAST dentist we saw, based on her answers to our questions, the procedure she used, etc. It turned out to be the perfect choice. All that to say, can you do something similar with your dh? Maybe model it for him until he catches on. Or is this an urgent thing and there's no time for all this? I hope you find someone soon because this particular doctor doesn't sound so great. :grouphug: No laughing somehow he can only google bad stuff. I don't know how and truthfully, we don't have a condition just a list of what it could be. From nothing to long recovery stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 If your gut is telling you to seek a 2nd opinion, then I would do so. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jplain Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Agreeing with the crowd. Get a second opinion. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltop Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I would definitely get a second opinion. My dd was scheduled to have oral surgery when she was 4. The oral surgeon came highly recommended, but something about him rubbed me the wrong way. His office staff was less than courteous too. I was told by everyone, "Well he is the best you'll get here." (We live in a smallish town about 2 1/2 hours from a major city.) We ended up going for a second opinion with another oral surgeon in the major city and were so much happier with our decision to have him do the surgery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Nope. Been there. Dd17 was rushed to the ER with what we found to be a grapefruit sized cyst on her ovary. She was supposed to go in for surgery immediately but when I found out the DR who would be doing it I called it off, took her out and we went to another Dr the next week and had it done. That first Dr was a woodbutcher and there was NO WAY I was having her fertility screwed up at 16. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Find out who is the most highly rated surgeon in your area and get a second opinion, being fully open to having the new doctor perform the surgery. Trust your instincts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I always get a second opinion on surgery. I can not think of a reason other than financial to not get one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 With everything you just said, I'd be outta there. I just had surgery on Thursday and I mentioned to the surgeon beforehand that I had felt itchy when I took hydrocodone a few weeks prior. He immediately told me never to take it again and even gave me an allergy bracelet to wear during the surgery and post op. Allergies or possible allergies should be taken seriously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Agreeing with the crowd. Get a second opinion.Good luck! Me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandellie4 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I'd say definitely go with your instincts. My husband and I actually have a pact about this, because both of us tend to want to downplay our symptoms and get procedures over with. Either one of us can veto and insist on getting a second opinion. You have to be advocates for one another in the medical world. Some doctors are better than others, just like in any other profession. Even if the reservations are purely emotional (I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like this doctor thinks I'm a pain....), that's a good a reason as any to look further. Going through a procedure and recovering afterward depends a lot on the doctor and staff treating the whole patient. Just my opinion.... As an aside, not comparable but it shows how important I think this topic is, my dog recently needed surgery and his vet was out of town. I would not let the stand-in vet do it. I just didn't have a good feeling about her. Since it wasn't an emergency, we waited three days and had our vet do it. Sandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 (edited) Definitely get a 2nd opinion! We had a surgery scheduled for DD with a Dr I wasn't sure about. He stressed she needed the procedure as soon as possible but it wasn't life threatening or anything. We went to the best Dr we could find for her 2nd opinion and I am so relieved that we did. The new Dr explained to me in medical terms why what the 1st dr wanted to do would have not worked and would have really made my DD much worse. When I talked with the 1st Dr, I knew what he was saying didn't sound right for some reason, but I thought maybe I just didn't know because I'm not a Dr. We drove 5 hours for this 2nd opinion and I was so worried that he was going to agree with the 1st Dr and we would have wasted so much time and money. Turns out, I was right. Even if he had agreed with the 1st Dr, however, I always would have wondered if we had done the right thing if I didn't at least try to get her to a better Dr. I was really horrified when the 2nd Dr explained to me just how bad the first Dr's plan would have been and that we had almost agreed to it. Edited February 1, 2012 by Paige Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 Thank you all. I am trying to convince him so far he just wants to get it over with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Make the appointment for him. I absolutely listen to my gut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 Make the appointment for him. I absolutely listen to my gut. I already did. It is convincing him to cancel the surgery and go to the 2nd opinion that is hard. Somedays, I want to channel my inner cave woman, knock him over the head with a cub and drag him there.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Getting a 2nd opinion in this case doesn't have so much to do with whether or not another doctor will or will not recommend the same thing. It's a good idea anyway, but I'd be especially wary of this doctor: *She doesn't listen to your valid concerns *She seems less than knowledgeable about pertinent information *She doesn't seem too interested in giving your dh quality care *Another doctor who already knows your dh says to get a second opinion Frankly, if the 2nd doctor says the same thing, I'd go with him unless there's a good reason not to. I have heard that surgeons sometimes don't have the best bedside manners, but there are way too many red flags with doc #1 here, even if she's right about the course of treatment. Would your dh be willing to listen to his gastric surgeon as to why he recommends the 2nd opinion? Maybe he knows something about this surgeon or your dh's condition that is prompting his advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted February 1, 2012 Author Share Posted February 1, 2012 Getting a 2nd opinion in this case doesn't have so much to do with whether or not another doctor will or will not recommend the same thing. It's a good idea anyway, but I'd be especially wary of this doctor:*She doesn't listen to your valid concerns *She seems less than knowledgeable about pertinent information *She doesn't seem too interested in giving your dh quality care *Another doctor who already knows your dh says to get a second opinion Frankly, if the 2nd doctor says the same thing, I'd go with him unless there's a good reason not to. I have heard that surgeons sometimes don't have the best bedside manners, but there are way too many red flags with doc #1 here, even if she's right about the course of treatment. Would your dh be willing to listen to his gastric surgeon as to why he recommends the 2nd opinion? Maybe he knows something about this surgeon or your dh's condition that is prompting his advice. We go to all of his appointments together. He was there and heard it. I think the thing is he just wants to get it over and not wait. But that is not always the best thing. Funny thing if it were the kids, he have no problem with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomandlorih Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 If your gut is telling you to seek a 2nd opinion, then I would do so. :iagree: On the basis of the med thing alone!!! I know Dr.'s aren't pharmacists... but how scary!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Heart surgery? I wouldn't trust my heart to a doctor I didn't have complete confidence in. You mentioned several problems with this doctor. I'd look for another doctor, period. :iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Heart surgery? Your OP sounded like it was something minor, like a mole removal. Even if it were mole removal, I'd seek a second opinion. With heart surgery--oh yes, absolutely! Oh, yes, get the 2nd opinion. When I was diagnosed with cancer my primary doctor wanted to do one form of tx. My MIL, who was in the medical field, pulled a fit and said that would cause all sorts of complications including possible infertility. She pulled multiple strings to get a 2nd opinion, our primary changed course of tx because it, and my son is here today because of that 2nd opinion. I would have never been able to have children if we'd gone with the first course. Obviously fertility is not an issue, but just because heart surgeries are more common does not mean they are not worthy of getting the best opinion. Most people don't buy a car without consulting with more than one dealer. A heart is not something to mess around with. Going to go kiss my son goodnight know. *sniff* 2nd opinions are worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 If you or your spouse was schedule a procedure with a doctor that rubbed you the wrong way, would you still do it with the said doctor? Even if there was a chance that the 2nd opinion might do the same procedure. DH is scheduled for surgery on Friday and something is very strongly telling me to go for a second opinion. If it were me, I would but he thinks the second person will say the same thing. He does agree that the doctor either hates bariatric procedures or a very poor communicator. The said doc has even pawned us off on a colleague who we insisted to meet. We truly felt bad for him as he had no clue who we are or why he was there until we told him. This doctor recommended a medicine for after the procedure that is a no no with his other med. I had to point that out. Doctor even told us allergic reactions to a certain test he had was unlikely until I called her out on it and had supporting documentation. Please don't pass off throat closing, itchy skin and typical allergic reactions on me. It cleared up with benedryl. After that, I asked about pre-medicating him in case of another reaction. She poo-poo'd it. FWIW- DH's gastric surgeon has said he should get a second opinion. But as I said he only see's the glass half empty thing. Would you insist on a second opinion? As I said, my gut tell me to go somewhere else. I follow my gut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 My dh would not be having surgery w/ this person! I would be getting a second opinion and a new doc!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 very good point. dr's *can't* say something negative about another physician without risk of a lawsuit. they *can* suggest another opinion. or as a friend (MD) just did when I was asking him about a suggestion for a specialist for my daughter, the only one in the field she needed that he knew - "I can't recommend him". (and made a suggestion of who I could talk to that might know someone appropriate.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akmommy Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Heart surgery? I wouldn't trust my heart to a doctor I didn't have complete confidence in. You mentioned several problems with this doctor. I'd look for another doctor, period. :iagree: this is major surgery! Even if you had complete confidence in this Dr. I think a second opinion is a good idea before letting anybody cut into your chest. If the second Dr. Reccamends the surgery it will help you feel confident that it's the right thing to do and if this Dr. Comes up with a different diagnosis or treatment you may be saving your DH from major but unnessecary surgery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 If your gut is telling you to seek a 2nd opinion, then I would do so. Absolutely. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Get that second opinion. I left a Ob at 8 months pregnant and got a second opinion. I am sure if I had stayed in his practice I would have ended up with a c-section. I am so glad I changed Dr's and learned to stand up for myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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