dog experts - dominant puppy with small children?

[astrid]

I haven't read any of the replies, but I remember looking at the picture you posted a while back (with the red bow, right? Am I thinking of the right pup?) and thinking the pup didn't look especially houndy to me. I wouldn't rule out some sort of pitty-- ear set looked right, but in the pic she was crouching on the chair or couch.

 

Which brings me to my next point-- THE COUCH. It ends. NOW. There is no couch. She is NEVER, EVER allowed to be higher (in space) than the littlest kid. NEVER. Dogs use spatial height to determine pack order and alpha status. If the dog shares the same resting areas at the same height as the humans, she will not learn that she is not equal in pack order to humans. Also, and I"m sure you know this, but the kids shouldn't be doing anything that could be construed as "teasing" or "taunting" the dog. No food around the dog, no holding things up and encouraging pup to jump up and grab, no playing tug.

 

So if you are serious about working with this dog, I suggest the following:

 

1. Four on the Floor. She never, ever gets on furniture or jumps on people. Her position in space is always lower than anyone else's.

 

2. Tough Love. She does not get attention/food/toys without sitting first, and being given them by a human. In dog society, the alpha doles out the food. They also take it away, so make sure you make her sit, and remove the food/toy. Then give it back. Then remove it.

 

3. No, After YOU. Pup does not go through a doorway, exterior or interior, before a human. So if you're walking from the kitchen to the garage and you have to go through a door, pup sits, human opens door, human walks through the door, holds door open and calls dog through. In packs, alpha dogs control exiting and entering den.

 

4. Commando Boot Camp. A tired pup is a good pup. And I don't mean "take a walk around the block." I mean commando boot camp exhaustion. Punctuated with lots of the puppy equivalent of "SIR YES SIR!!!!," which is basic manners. Run in the yard, but when pup gets wound up and super crazy, stop, slow down, get attention, and practice sits, downs, and recalls. Crazy, hysterical maniacal running is no better for dogs than it is for kids. Stop it before it spirals with some training. Get attention, work on sits and downs for five minutes, then back to play. Believe it or not, the training will help tire the pup out. Mental exercise is as draining to a puppy as physical exercise.

 

5. Time Out. The very SECOND pup gets mouthy, redirect with something appropriate (toy, etc.) If she ignores or turns back to human kid, into crate immediately. Do not make eye contact, do not yell. Grab collar and take immediately to crate, shut door and walk away. When pup is calm and compliant, back into the living space.

 

I really hope you give this a shot; if not, she probably won't have a lot of chance back at the shelter. Once the big R (RETURN) gets stamped on the file, it's exponentially harder to place them.

 

Hope this helps-- good luck!

 

astrid

[ktgrok]

***The Dog Whisperer*** has wonderful insight on dog psychology and how to correct unwanted behaviour. Sounds like your puppy needs to learn who the leader of the pack is, and what behaviours are acceptable around small children (= calm). It will take a lot of energy! Good luck!

(I love his accent too!)

 

I've actually attended seminars put on by Board Certified Veterinary Behaviorists with multiple degrees devoted entirely to showing why the Dog Whisperer has no idea what he is talking about. Please try watching "It's Me or the Dog" for a much better picture of dog training.

 

(without getting into it too much, Cesar says every single dog, even the VERY OBVISOULY fearful ones, have dominance problems. He also uses flooding as his preferred technique which is cruel and in the long term often ineffective. The American Humane Society has a warning out not to let children watch his show.)

[astrid]

Aggression and dominance BEGINS as play.

 

Yes. Domesticated dogs are really canines caught in an endless state of juvenile wolf behavior. Caught between the two, puppies at play are actually establishing pack order. When humans replace the puppies in their litter, they just adjust and continue.

 

I"m not advocating that dogs be alpha-rolled, hollered over, jerked and pulled and frightened into quivering submission. But understanding that dogs are not humans, they are not children, and they do not understand our language/body language in the way we intend it is equipping oneself to have a more solid, peaceful and quality relationship.

 

astrid

[ktgrok]

I haven't read any of the replies, but I remember looking at the picture you posted a while back (with the red bow, right? Am I thinking of the right pup?) and thinking the pup didn't look especially houndy to me. I wouldn't rule out some sort of pitty-- ear set looked right, but in the pic she was crouching on the chair or couch.

 

Which brings me to my next point-- THE COUCH. It ends. NOW. There is no couch. She is NEVER, EVER allowed to be higher (in space) than the littlest kid. NEVER. Dogs use spatial height to determine pack order and alpha status. If the dog shares the same resting areas at the same height as the humans, she will not learn that she is not equal in pack order to humans. Also, and I"m sure you know this, but the kids shouldn't be doing anything that could be construed as "teasing" or "taunting" the dog. No food around the dog, no holding things up and encouraging pup to jump up and grab, no playing tug.

 

So if you are serious about working with this dog, I suggest the following:

 

1. Four on the Floor. She never, ever gets on furniture or jumps on people. Her position in space is always lower than anyone else's.

 

2. Tough Love. She does not get attention/food/toys without sitting first, and being given them by a human. In dog society, the alpha doles out the food. They also take it away, so make sure you make her sit, and remove the food/toy. Then give it back. Then remove it.

 

3. No, After YOU. Pup does not go through a doorway, exterior or interior, before a human. So if you're walking from the kitchen to the garage and you have to go through a door, pup sits, human opens door, human walks through the door, holds door open and calls dog through. In packs, alpha dogs control exiting and entering den.

 

4. Commando Boot Camp. A tired pup is a good pup. And I don't mean "take a walk around the block." I mean commando boot camp exhaustion. Punctuated with lots of the puppy equivalent of "SIR YES SIR!!!!," which is basic manners. Run in the yard, but when pup gets wound up and super crazy, stop, slow down, get attention, and practice sits, downs, and recalls. Crazy, hysterical maniacal running is no better for dogs than it is for kids. Stop it before it spirals with some training. Get attention, work on sits and downs for five minutes, then back to play. Believe it or not, the training will help tire the pup out. Mental exercise is as draining to a puppy as physical exercise.

 

5. Time Out. The very SECOND pup gets mouthy, redirect with something appropriate (toy, etc.) If she ignores or turns back to human kid, into crate immediately. Do not make eye contact, do not yell. Grab collar and take immediately to crate, shut door and walk away. When pup is calm and compliant, back into the living space.

 

I really hope you give this a shot; if not, she probably won't have a lot of chance back at the shelter. Once the big R (RETURN) gets stamped on the file, it's exponentially harder to place them.

 

Hope this helps-- good luck!

 

astrid

 

Lots of good advice here. Basically, nothing in life is free is the idea. You want to be pet, you sit. You want to play, you do a down. You want to go outside, you sit. Etc.

[lilypoo]

Yes, NILIF! Worked wonders for our mpoo. She's a dream dog now, at only 10 months.

[astrid]

Forgot to add--- get a clicker, put a bowl of treats (out of reach) in every room and work work work on manners with a clicker. Lots of fun, and I find it works especially well with pups to cement those behaviors that you do want-- sit, down, come, go-to-place, and lots of fun tricks. Again, all serving to tire out puppy.

 

And also forgot that it helps to adopt a NFL approach--No Free Lunch. Pup buys wants with the currency of appropriate behaviors and you "pay" with the desired object-- out, treat, fill water bowl, toy, etc.

 

astrid

[justamouse]

Yes. Domesticated dogs are really canines caught in an endless state of juvenile wolf behavior. Caught between the two, puppies at play are actually establishing pack order. When humans replace the puppies in their litter, they just adjust and continue.

 

I"m not advocating that dogs be alpha-rolled, hollered over, jerked and pulled and frightened into quivering submission. But understanding that dogs are not humans, they are not children, and they do not understand our language/body language in the way we intend it is equipping oneself to have a more solid, peaceful and quality relationship.

 

astrid

 

I never yanked anyone, hollered and never made them quiver in submission. Not at all. But when they are puppies/adolescents, I stood over them and 'nipped' their shoulders with my hand when they got too mouthy.

 

Matter of fact, I had to get my Dobies self esteem up after sub peeing everywhere when we got him.

 

And my pit and Dobie never game me trouble with rolling. But I rolled them from when they were first brought home, and I've always crate trained.

Edited January 26, 2012 by justamouse

[Catwoman]

 

She also always chases and barks at our cat, which we thought would get better but it has not. She barks at our children.

 

I'm sorry for being so sensitive to earlier replies which seemed so judgmental to me. We have tried for five months to make this situation work. I desperately wanted a dog for two years prior, since our previous one died suddenly right in front of me. I guess we picked unwisely; this dog has seemed like nothing but problems from the get go.

 

And now I'm crying.

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I am one of the few who has suggested from the get-go that you return the dog to the shelter. Despite what many people believe, I don't think all dogs are good dogs, or even that any dog can be a good dog with the proper training. I think most dogs can be good dogs in the right home, with the right people, but I honestly don't think that this dog will ever be your definition of a good dog. You have always had dogs, so it's not as though you are a clueless dreamer with no idea of what it's like to care for a dog -- and you have had nothing but problems with this particular pup.

 

The kids are afraid of him. You are afraid he is going to bite one of the kids. He is no good with cats.

 

This same dog might be great with a single guy in his 20's who wants a dog to roughhouse with, play Frisbee at the park, and go jogging with. But he's not great for you and your family. There is no crime in admitting that, and I don't think you are in any way shirking your responsibility as a pet owner by returning him to the shelter. You gave it your best shot and it didn't work out. You're not dropping him off by the side of the road somewhere. You're not tying him out in the backyard on a chain. You are doing the responsible thing and returning him while he is still young enough to be adoptable.

 

Please don't let anyone make you feel guilty about this. If you keep the dog and he bites one of the kids, you'll never forgive yourself. Your instincts are telling you that something bad will happen, so I think you should act o those instincts.

 

:grouphug:

[Catwoman]

I just wanted to mention that if my last post had typos, it's because I'm typing on my iPad and it's a real nuisance to go back and edit a post.

 

Sorry!

[justamouse]

I agree with Cat on this one. I've tried two times to rescue dogs, and they've always come to me with problems that were just such a bad fit for our family that I'll never rescue one again (one was biting everyone that came into the house). (Even my aunt who got an adult greater swiss --the dog is so sweet but hates men and hides whenever anyone comes over. She just cowers everywhere.) And training the bad things out of them is often more than an owner can handle.

 

Don't feel guilty if it's too much for you. It's just too much, no guilt in that.

[cathmom]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I am one of the few who has suggested from the get-go that you return the dog to the shelter. Despite what many people believe, I don't think all dogs are good dogs, or even that any dog can be a good dog with the proper training. I think most dogs can be good dogs in the right home, with the right people, but I honestly don't think that this dog will ever be your definition of a good dog. You have always had dogs, so it's not as though you are a clueless dreamer with no idea of what it's like to care for a dog -- and you have had nothing but problems with this particular pup.

 

The kids are afraid of him. You are afraid he is going to bite one of the kids. He is no good with cats.

 

This same dog might be great with a single guy in his 20's who wants a dog to roughhouse with, play Frisbee at the park, and go jogging with. But he's not great for you and your family. There is no crime in admitting that, and I don't think you are in any way shirking your responsibility as a pet owner by returning him to the shelter. You gave it your best shot and it didn't work out. You're not dropping him off by the side of the road somewhere. You're not tying him out in the backyard on a chain. You are doing the responsible thing and returning him while he is still young enough to be adoptable.

 

Please don't let anyone make you feel guilty about this. If you keep the dog and he bites one of the kids, you'll never forgive yourself. Your instincts are telling you that something bad will happen, so I think you should act o those instincts.

 

:grouphug:

 

Thank you, catwoman! I've been chatting with my oldest on FB, who was home for Christmas break, and he is encouraging me (actually outright telling me) to take her back. He got a 3 week firsthand look at her behavior. Dh and I talked (after I stopped crying) and I think we will call the shelter tomorrow and arrange to take her back and tell them she needs to be placed in a home with no children under 10.

[astrid]

I never yanked anyone, hollered and never made them quiver in submission. Not at all. But when they are puppies/adolescents, I stood over them and 'nipped' their shoulders with my hand when they got too mouthy.

 

Matter of fact, I had to get my Dobies self esteem up after sub peeing everywhere when we got him.

 

And my pit and Dobie never game me trouble with rolling. But I rolled them from when they were first brought home.

 

UM, I never said you did. Sheesh. In my post (which was not a reply to you, by the way) I explained dog hierarchy and behavior.

 

I've seen ALL training tactics abused, used incorrectly, and ultimately ineffectually. I also think that it's not appropriate to tell someone who is admittedly "at the end of her rope" and "has no dog experience" to start alpha rolling, especially over the internet with no interaction, demonstration, etc. It can get dangerous quickly.

 

Any trainer worth his or her salt uses many methods, and has lots of tools in their training toolboxes. Just like with kids, no one discipline method works for every dog. Alpha-rolling, e-collars, positive-only, operant conditioning, etc. All have their controversies, devotees, successes and horror stories. I"ve been a professional trainer for many years and have many titles and other training accomplishments under my belt. Without assessing the dog myself, I"m not comfortable recommending anything other than what I posted above.

 

astrid

[ktgrok]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I am one of the few who has suggested from the get-go that you return the dog to the shelter. Despite what many people believe, I don't think all dogs are good dogs, or even that any dog can be a good dog with the proper training. I think most dogs can be good dogs in the right home, with the right people, but I honestly don't think that this dog will ever be your definition of a good dog. You have always had dogs, so it's not as though you are a clueless dreamer with no idea of what it's like to care for a dog -- and you have had nothing but problems with this particular pup.

 

The kids are afraid of him. You are afraid he is going to bite one of the kids. He is no good with cats.

 

This same dog might be great with a single guy in his 20's who wants a dog to roughhouse with, play Frisbee at the park, and go jogging with. But he's not great for you and your family. There is no crime in admitting that, and I don't think you are in any way shirking your responsibility as a pet owner by returning him to the shelter. You gave it your best shot and it didn't work out. You're not dropping him off by the side of the road somewhere. You're not tying him out in the backyard on a chain. You are doing the responsible thing and returning him while he is still young enough to be adoptable.

 

Please don't let anyone make you feel guilty about this. If you keep the dog and he bites one of the kids, you'll never forgive yourself. Your instincts are telling you that something bad will happen, so I think you should act o those instincts.

 

:grouphug:

 

I totally agree with you. This dog may be some college guy's best friend, but he obviously isn't for you guys. That's ok.

[southernm]

I just hope you find a no-kill shelter. If you disclose the dog has bitten, there's a good chance it will be deemed unadoptable and euthanized.

[astrid]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

Despite what many people believe, I don't think all dogs are good dogs, or even that any dog can be a good dog with the proper training. I think most dogs can be good dogs in the right home, with the right people, but I honestly don't think that this dog will ever be your definition of a good dog. You have always had dogs, so it's not as though you are a clueless dreamer with no idea of what it's like to care for a dog -- and you have had nothing but problems with this particular pup.

 

The kids are afraid of him. You are afraid he is going to bite one of the kids. He is no good with cats.

 

This same dog might be great with a single guy in his 20's who wants a dog to roughhouse with, play Frisbee at the park, and go jogging with. But he's not great for you and your family. There is no crime in admitting that, and I don't think you are in any way shirking your responsibility as a pet owner by returning him to the shelter. You gave it your best shot and it didn't work out. You're not dropping him off by the side of the road somewhere. You're not tying him out in the backyard on a chain. You are doing the responsible thing and returning him while he is still young enough to be adoptable.

 

Please don't let anyone make you feel guilty about this. If you keep the dog and he bites one of the kids, you'll never forgive yourself. Your instincts are telling you that something bad will happen, so I think you should act o those instincts.

 

:grouphug:

 

I completely agree. I posted my suggestions for training before I read the whole thread (as I stated in my original post) and was focusing on offering suggestions. Not all dogs are a good fit for all families, and he might not be. There's no shame in that. :grouphug:

 

astrid

[cathmom]

I've seen ALL training tactics abused, used incorrectly, and ultimately ineffectually. I also think that it's not appropriate to tell someone who is admittedly "at the end of her rope" and "has no dog experience" to start alpha rolling, especially over the internet with no interaction, demonstration, etc. It can get dangerous quickly.

 

 

I think the post about being at the end of my rope was referring to other issues in my life, like the homeschooling burnout and overwhelmedness that I've posted about lately. At least that is how I took the post.

 

I do have dog experience, I think I said I didn't have extensive dog experience. I always had dogs growing up and was all over other people's dogs, despite being badly bitten at age 7-8 (it was my fault and I swear I will never try to hug an outside farm dog that's growling again! :D) As an adult, I have had several different dogs, one rescued from a shelter at under the age of 6 months, one a huge purebred German shepherd (that understood his place as the DOG in a way that this pup has not, despite being allowed on the furniture), and one I got as a very little puppy.

[BellaMama]

Thank you Katie for the clarification about the Dog Whisperer! I will look further into your recommendation.

Thank you!

[cathmom]

I just hope you find a no-kill shelter. If you disclose the dog has bitten, there's a good chance it will be deemed unadoptable and euthanized.

 

 

The shelter we got it from is a no-kill shelter and we will return it there. She has not actually bitten, but nips all the time.

[astrid]

Ok, that's better then. Did you see my post about training suggestions? And for what it's worth, I DID state that I hadn't read all the replies--- just not enough time in the evening. :001_smile:

 

However, I still stand by my statement. Without personally assessing this dog, the family dynamic, and the behaviors she exhibits, I would not recommend this tactic. It's a tool I use very, VERY sparingly and in very RARE situations after lots of other methods have not resulted in changed behavior.

 

Best of luck to you. It's not an easy situation.

 

astrid

[Denisemomof4]

Astrid, I'm so glad you saw this thread. In reading your suggestions, I can see a few mistakes were making. I've never trained a dog beyond what some local obedience course was offering so this is all new to me. I really appreciate the advice, too.

[cathmom]

Ok, that's better then. Did you see my post about training suggestions?

astrid

 

Yes, thank you, I did see your suggestions. I just want a dog that I can enjoy! I've missed having a dog so much and this has just been work, work, work, work. And little reward. She doesn't cuddle, the only time you can pet her is when she's totally sacked out, and she's driving me crazy.

[Catwoman]

I'm glad you made the decision to return the dog. I truly think it is the best thing to do, both for your family and for the dog.

 

One other thing -- if you decide to get another dog, don't pick the one your dh falls in love with if you will be the dog's primary caretaker. You need to choose the one you fall in love with, and that is great with the kids. Hopefully, you'll all pick the same dog, but you need to be sure he is a dog you can cuddle with, and that you feel you'll be able to train.

 

I would like to cast my vote for a Sheltie. :tongue_smilie:

[EmilyinND]

I'm glad you made the decision to return the dog. I truly think it is the best thing to do, both for your family and for the dog.

 

One other thing -- if you decide to get another dog, don't pick the one your dh falls in love with if you will be the dog's primary caretaker. You need to choose the one you fall in love with, and that is great with the kids. Hopefully, you'll all pick the same dog, but you need to be sure he is a dog you can cuddle with, and that you feel you'll be able to train.

 

I would like to cast my vote for a Sheltie. :tongue_smilie:

 

Or a Springer...:D

[Cindy in the NH Woods]

I raised German Shepherds when my guys were toddlers. Fortunately I had very maternal dogs willing to patiently put up with toddler antics. Puppies are a different ball of wax...

 

It sounds like your pup wants to PLAY...puppy style with wrestling, growling, and nips.

 

Two things I'd do if the pup were mine....lots more exercise. Teach him to chase a ball and throw it for a half an hour a day. Then go for a long run or walk. Wear that puppy out. :D

 

If and when the dog jumps or nips on the little one, I'd come mildly unglued. Get between the dog and the child and take the dog's face in hand. Firmly and maybe loudly say NO! Give the dog a little shake and release (or put the dog in the crate. I rarely use the crate for punishment though, so I would not.) Turn to the child and offer some attention. I would want to teach the dog that these kidlets are MINE and they are not to be messed with. If you felt the dog was truly being dominate, I'd roll the pup on his back when I was saying NO.

 

Because I love on my dogs so much coming unglued slightly gets their attention. There's no doubt that mom is deeply unhappy. They think I'm crazy and work pretty hard to keep if from happening again.

 

I'm sure there are other ways, but these have worked well for me.

 

One other thing...I don't know that it's enough to have the kiddoes feeding and caring for the dog. I'd have them active in training and exercising authority over the dog.

 

Good luck. If it doesn't work out...that's okay. Do what's best for your children. We had a Border Collie that would not happily live with our generous and flexible rules. She lives a good life elsewhere now.

 

:iagree: We took a similar approach with our German Shepherd pup. (The dog's breeder recommended an approach like Happy used, along with fewer treats, longer down/stays, etc.) Our puppy would go berserk with the littler kids, and would shred their winter coats, and bite, especially while the kids were sledding. After some time, lots of exercise, and getting in the dog's space as the dominant pack leader if you know what I mean, our dog (now two) is excellent and obedient with us and good with visitors who come to our home. We do give her "crate time" while new folks come over, until we are ready to introduce her to newcomers. She does still want to take out strangers on walks, and other dogs, however although we can manage her. I am thinking of taking her to a Canine Good Citizen class to help with these things.

 

Good luck, whatever you decide! I feel your pain!

[Guest submarines]

Lots of good advice here. Basically, nothing in life is free is the idea. You want to be pet, you sit. You want to play, you do a down. You want to go outside, you sit. Etc.

 

I thought you were talking about the OP. :tongue_smilie: You want an obedient, reliable pet, you need to work very hard on its training. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but the OP had the dog and its issues for several months now, and the dog is *still* allowed on the furniture? :confused:

 

OP, is your DH involved in the training? You mentioned you wanted an adult dog, but DH fell in love with the pup. Are you resentful now of both DH and the puppy?

[Nakia]

I wouldn't have a dog that bites. And I most certainly wouldn't have a dog (or any other animal) that my children are scared of.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know how hard these decisions are. :grouphug:

[cathmom]

I thought you were talking about the OP. :tongue_smilie: You want an obedient, reliable pet, you need to work very hard on its training. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but the OP had the dog and its issues for several months now, and the dog is *still* allowed on the furniture? :confused:

 

OP, is your DH involved in the training? You mentioned you wanted an adult dog, but DH fell in love with the pup. Are you resentful now of both DH and the puppy?

 

I'm not resentful of dh LOL. I just may never allow him in a shelter again (he used to say that about me!) :D I've always preferred older animals because they are over the annoying baby stage and are calmer, and they are much more "what you see is what you get" IME than puppies or kittens.

 

I've always allowed my dogs on the furniture. I *love* having my dogs on the furniture with me - it's one of the reasons I wanted a dog again!

 

Again, I've had obedient, reliable dogs all my life - none had these kinds of issues. I see now that, had we known her personality exactly, we would have done some things differently from the start. We do make her sit for things, for every treat, every meal, every walk, etc.

 

Well, now that we've made our decision, I think I'd really like to stop talking about it or I'll start crying again.

[AdventureMoms]

If your children are afraid of the dog, and you are afraid the dog will hurt the children, I think you should return it. It's REALLY hard. I know, I had to return our pup about 1.5 years ago. She was a 2-3yo shepherd/rott mix who was WONDERFUL with my DD and who we had had for about a year. But she was aggressive with random strangers, aggressive with other animals, and needed an incredible amount of exercise (2hrs of running a day was not enough). She pulled so hard on the leash my hand had bruises (this was a 60lb dog, so not huge, but pure muscle) We invested thousands of dollars and many, many hours in training (unsuccessful), fences (jumped immediately), etc. DW was pregnant with twins and riding a bike while holding the dog's leash when the dog spotted a squirrel and pulled the bike over. The dog knocked down our porch door to go growl at a random man who walked by on the sidewalk. The neighbors were afraid. I had to put the dog outside on a chain and two collars (she could slip one), inside a 5' fence, and still, she escaped a least a few times a week. She never bit anyone. She growled a lot though, especially at men and dogs.

 

And yet, she was super sweet with DD, loved to snuggle, and DD was madly in love.

 

Sigh. We rehomed her. It was the right decision. It was awful, hard, and painful, yet a HUGE relief, all at the same time. Very emotional, for everyone. We may or may not ever get another dog, but if we do, we will be making VERY different choices and not let ourselves be guided by the pup we "fall in love with" at the shelter.

[cathmom]

Dh called the shelter this morning and will be returning her this afternoon. We told the children and they are sad but relieved. Our 13 yo said, "I am (first name) (last name) and I approve of this plan" - must be an election year LOL.

 

I realized last night that when we got our previous dog, he was younger than she is now, and our two girls were 6.5 and 4.5 and ran around plenty, and we never had any issues with him. It's definitely a personality clash, and we think she has a good chance of being placed in a home that is much better for her, one without small children or cats.

 

Thanks everyone for the suggestions and support. I know I'll be crying a lot over the next few days, but when I just said goodbye to her she looked at me and had no love in her eyes and I know that this is the right decision, even as it hurts so much.

[Guest submarines]

Dh called the shelter this morning and will be returning her this afternoon. We told the children and they are sad but relieved. Our 13 yo said, "I am (first name) (last name) and I approve of this plan" - must be an election year LOL.

 

I realized last night that when we got our previous dog, he was younger than she is now, and our two girls were 6.5 and 4.5 and ran around plenty, and we never had any issues with him. It's definitely a personality clash, and we think she has a good chance of being placed in a home that is much better for her, one without small children or cats.

 

Thanks everyone for the suggestions and support. I know I'll be crying a lot over the next few days, but when I just said goodbye to her she looked at me and had no love in her eyes and I know that this is the right decision, even as it hurts so much.

 

Sounds like the right decision for your family. I kept thinking about your posts. I was disturbed, and couldn't fall asleep last night.

 

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

[Joker]

Sounds like the right decision for your family. I kept thinking about your posts. I was disturbed, and couldn't fall asleep last night.

 

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

 

Wow! I have had dogs in my home for as long as I can remember and all of them were allowed on couches and in beds. None of them have bitten or made anyone afraid. Sometimes a pet just doesn't work out within certain families or environments.

[cathmom]

Sounds like the right decision for your family. I kept thinking about your posts. I was disturbed, and couldn't fall asleep last night.

 

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

 

Thanks for reminding me not to take my problems to the internet.

[Happy]

Sounds like the right decision for your family. I kept thinking about your posts. I was disturbed, and couldn't fall asleep last night.

 

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

 

Harsh.

 

Way too harsh.

 

I believe the OP has worked with the dog. A LOT. This isn't just about a dog on the couch. Some personalities don't mix, be they dog or person.

 

And about another dog dying because this one is going back...really? That's what you take from the entire conversation? The OP is supposed to keep this dog when it is obivous the animal and the family are not suited....sure...I'll endanger my kids that way. :001_huh: NOT. All so that another dog won't be put down? Wow

 

Shaking my head....can't believe you posted that.

[ktgrok]

Sounds like the right decision for your family. I kept thinking about your posts. I was disturbed, and couldn't fall asleep last night.

 

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

 

I think this is out of line. This dog was not the right fit for this family. I know the kind of dog she is referring to. Not bad dogs, but dogs that do NOT belong in this family. Could LOTS of training have made the dog more livable, sure. But still not the right dog for what they wanted. And there is no shame in that. Shame on you for making her feel badly when she is doing the right thing.

[Guest submarines]

Harsh.

 

Way too harsh.

 

I believe the OP has worked with the dog. A LOT. This isn't just about a dog on the couch. Some personalities don't mix, be they dog or person.

 

And about another dog dying because this one is going back...really? That's what you take from the entire conversation? The OP is supposed to keep this dog when it is obivous the animal and the family are not suited....sure...I'll endanger my kids that way. :001_huh: NOT. All so that another dog won't be put down? Wow

 

Shaking my head....can't believe you posted that.

 

Life is harsh. The OP wanted a justification and an excsuse for her decision to return the dog. She claims the dog is dominant, while almost everyone say that this is normal puppy behaviour. The OP asks for suggestions and help with training, but hasn't and won't implement any of them. It was a JAWM thread from the very beginning.

 

I loved having my dog on my bed--he was a docile and easy going, and we had no kids. Many dogs are allowed on furniture and there are no problems. However, when there *are* problems, then something has not change.

 

The OP was unwilling to change her ways, and this is not an attitude with which to adopt a puppy.

 

The fact that our society as a whole has the concept of "just get rid of the dog", is already disturbing. And then comes the sugar coating. There was a personality mismatch. Sure. I'm not being sarcastic here. I'm pretty sure there was. I have a personality mismatch with my 9 year old. You will tell me now that it is not the same thing, and in many ways it isn't. But when one takes a puppy, there are always chances of a personality mismatch. If one is not willing or able to at least train the puppy (which is hard work), one shouldn't be taking in any puppies.

 

The OP shouldn't have taken the dog when she has not time or desire to train a puppy, and has a child who is afraid of dogs. This is not a healthy combination.

 

If everyone keeps sugar coating the realities of dog ownership, more and more dogs are being put down every day. Needing to give the dog back to the shelter, because one is not able and willing to train it--that's harsh. And this should be said out loud.

[bbkaren]

No point in making the op feel worse than she already does...

[Cindyg]

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

 

I totally disagree with this.

 

Our sweet, submissive, cuddly dog lives on the couch, in the bed, and in our laps. He never even thought about biting or dominating anyone. Different dog; different personality.

 

Cath's family, in all likelihood, did not ruin this dog or make her what she is.

 

My SIL who is a serious boxer person, recently had to put a beloved boxer down. This was a rescue dog whom she spent YEARS trying to rehabilitate. SIL is an experienced boxer handler with no young kids in the house. Just before Christmas, the dog backed her up against a wall. She put the dog down, and it broke her heart. No amount of more love or more time or more training was going to turn that particular rescue dog into a reliable, relaxed companion. And it doesn't mean my SIL should never have another dog.

 

And just to quibble with your logic a little bit: You say that because Cath's family returns this pup, another family will adopt this one, resulting in yet a third pup being euthanized. OK, but if Cath's family never adopts another pup, doesn't THAT result in another pup (the pup they might otherwise have adopted) being euthanized?

 

I think Cath made the right decision.

 

My mom has an aggressive Jack Russell, and everyone in the family wishes she would put that dog down. She (the dog) is a constant, low-level threat to all the grandkids. If Grandma's dog bites somebody, we'll all say, "You knew the dog was aggressive!" And the same for Cath. If her pup bit one of her kids and she posted about it here, we would all say, "You knew the dog was aggressive! Why didn't you do something before this happened?"

 

Well, she's doing something.

[cathmom]

Life is harsh. The OP wanted a justification and an excsuse for her decision to return the dog. She claims the dog is dominant, while almost everyone say that this is normal puppy behaviour. The OP asks for suggestions and help with training, but hasn't and won't implement any of them. It was a JAWM thread from the very beginning.

 

I loved having my dog on my bed--he was a docile and easy going, and we had no kids. Many dogs are allowed on furniture and there are no problems. However, when there *are* problems, then something has not change.

 

The OP was unwilling to change her ways, and this is not an attitude with which to adopt a puppy.

 

The fact that our society as a whole has the concept of "just get rid of the dog", is already disturbing. And then comes the sugar coating. There was a personality mismatch. Sure. I'm not being sarcastic here. I'm pretty sure there was. I have a personality mismatch with my 9 year old. You will tell me now that it is not the same thing, and in many ways it isn't. But when one takes a puppy, there are always chances of a personality mismatch. If one is not willing or able to at least train the puppy (which is hard work), one shouldn't be taking in any puppies.

 

The OP shouldn't have taken the dog when she has not time or desire to train a puppy, and has a child who is afraid of dogs. This is not a healthy combination.

 

If everyone keeps sugar coating the realities of dog ownership, more and more dogs are being put down every day. Needing to give the dog back to the shelter, because one is not able and willing to train it--that's harsh. And this should be said out loud.

 

Ok, you've said it. And that's your opinion.

 

The shelter application asks if we would ever give the dog up for any reason. I wrote, "Only if we felt that the dog might endanger our children." We do feel that way.

 

We have done all the normal puppy training. Everyone who has seen her has said this is not normal puppy behavior. It is not compatible with having four small children in the house. None of my previous dogs ever behaved this way AT ALL.

[JudoMom]

Sounds like the right decision for your family. I kept thinking about your posts. I was disturbed, and couldn't fall asleep last night.

 

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

 

Judgmental, harsh, and way out of bounds. You've jumped to a ridiculous conclusion here, given the fact you've never met the OP (and obviously didn't read all her posts closely) or the dog in question.

[gardenmom5]

Sounds like the right decision for your family. I kept thinking about your posts. I was disturbed, and couldn't fall asleep last night.

 

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

 

wow. does being this sanctimonious help you feel superior?

[bbkaren]

Sanctimoniously presented, yes. Hurtful, yes. Thoughtless, harsh, overly blunt.

 

But in all honesty, (obviously except for the parts presuming to know the mind of the OP), every word of it is true. Dogs are a lot of effort and many suffer because people expect them to automatically develop into Lassie...and they simply don't.

 

They're a lot of work, and sometimes even then, it just doesn't mesh.

[Nakia]

Sounds like the right decision for your family. I kept thinking about your posts. I was disturbed, and couldn't fall asleep last night.

 

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

 

 

Oh good grief. I've got two dogs sleeping on my couch right now. Neither of them have ever bitten anyone or even as much as growled at anyone. My mom has two pit bulls that sleep on the foot of her bed. They are loves. It's a huge generalization to say that keeping a dog off the couch/bed will cure a dog's aggressive nature. I'm not saying it won't ever help, but it's not a magic pill.

 

Yes, sometimes you sure as heck can blame the dog. Not all dogs are good dogs. Not all people are good people. It's a fact of life.

 

It's a sad world when people place a higher importance on animals than people. Allowing an aggressive dog in a house with children is irresponsible. Cathmom did the right thing and exactly what any responsible parent would have done. She obviously tried and struggled with the decision. Why not offer her support and keep your hateful opinions to yourself? I find it hard to believe you would allow this kind of animal in your home. But I don't know you, of course.

 

I would NEVER tolerate an aggressive dog in my house or around my children. It's not worth it. Dogs can and do kill. You did the right thing, cathmom! :grouphug:

[Happy]

Sanctimoniously presented, yes. Hurtful, yes. Thoughtless, harsh, overly blunt.

 

But in all honesty, (obviously except for the parts presuming to know the mind of the OP), every word of it is true. Dogs are a lot of effort and many suffer because people expect them to automatically develop into Lassie...and they simply don't.

 

They're a lot of work, and sometimes even then, it just doesn't mesh.

 

Dogs are effort and, yes, a lot of people think they will automatically develop into Lassie...but I don't think that was the case here. I think Cathmom is an involved, concerned pet owner. But she is a parent first.

 

Sometimes just writing out the problem clarifies what needs to be done. I think by the time Cathmom wrote out her post, she knew what she had to do.

[dirty ethel rackham]

:grouphug: I'm so sorry that it had to come to that (and that you received grief here for making that decision.) It sounds like you made the right decision for your family and for the dog. Shame on that judgmental person for her harsh and unwarranted comments.

[Catwoman]

Sounds like the right decision for your family. I kept thinking about your posts. I was disturbed, and couldn't fall asleep last night.

 

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

 

That was an unnecessary, horrible, hurtful, and mean post. You have essentially accused cathmom of being a dog killer. You also were extremely judgmental about what she did, didn't do, and should have done with this dog, and I think you were way out of line.

 

I don't usually get upset when I read forum posts, but I felt so sad for cathmom when I read yours, that I had to post about it. I can tell that you are a doglover, and I think that's great, but I honestly think that, in this case, this particular dog was not a good fit for cathmom's family, and I don't think she deserves to be vilified because she made a mistake and chose the wrong dog at the shelter. If she had said this was the sixth dog they'd adopted and none of them were "right," I would have absolutely, positively supported your position, but this is a one-time occurrence, and cathmom has successfully owned other dogs for many years.

 

She already feels guilty and sad; I don't see any reason to try to make her feel worse.

Edited January 26, 2012 by Catwoman

[TravelingChris]

I have read a lot of the posts but not all so I may be too late.

 

Number one= I think you have done enough time with this dog. He is not a good fit for your family= both the kids and the cat whom he is barking at. So return him to the shelter before you have a tragedy like your cat being attacked or your child needing extensive stitches,

 

Next, I will have different opinion from some of the others about how to choose your next dog. Choose a breed that tends to be good with kids- poodles, retrivers, cocker spaniels, etc, etc. Do not choose any breed that tends to be dominant- Boxer, German Shepherd, some terriers, Rottweilers,etc, or anything mixed with them like Boxer mix or GS mix or pitbull mix. Next find a good breed rescue group. Describe your family. YOu will probably get a wonderful dog for your family. WIth Lab Rescue, I got a female with sep. anxiety but since we homeschooled, I was able to help her get over that. With Coastal Poodle Rescue, I got a wonderful mini poodle who was housebroken, knew some commands and learned quickly, was submissive, got along wonderfully with everyone including my cats, my kids, and never had any problems on walks. He continues to be a great dog. He wasn't a puppy and not as much work but some dog similar to him would be great for your kids. He only barks very rarely and usually when he is playing for a while and wants the play to continue. It isn't a scary bark at all. He weighs only 15lbs. and can't knock down anyone.

 

You want a very gentle dog like mine. It doesn't matter if it is a puppy, it's personality makes all the difference. IF you live in Florida, email me and I will get you contact info for Coastal Poodle, if you want. But I am not saying just poodles are it= the main thing is find a good breed rescue group which will work with you in finding the right dog for your home. Oh, and before anyone says anything negative about breed rescues, they usually also take in mixes with that breed but it depends on the breed since some breeds have so many in rescue. Often the groups get puppy mill dogs who suprisingly often make very good pets because they don't have big demands.

[Denisemomof4]

Wow! I have had dogs in my home for as long as I can remember and all of them were allowed on couches and in beds. None of them have bitten or made anyone afraid. Sometimes a pet just doesn't work out within certain families or environments.

 

I have had dogs all my life. I'm almost 49 and I'm only now learning to do things the RIGHT way.

 

I'm thankfulness I'm getting all new furniture soon.:D. I'm starting my training and prep work NOW.

 

Keeping our puppy attached to us at all times leaves us with virtually no issues. I attach him to my waist and it is working out GREAT.

[sparrow]

Dh called the shelter this morning and will be returning her this afternoon. We told the children and they are sad but relieved. Our 13 yo said, "I am (first name) (last name) and I approve of this plan" - must be an election year LOL.

 

I realized last night that when we got our previous dog, he was younger than she is now, and our two girls were 6.5 and 4.5 and ran around plenty, and we never had any issues with him. It's definitely a personality clash, and we think she has a good chance of being placed in a home that is much better for her, one without small children or cats.

 

Thanks everyone for the suggestions and support. I know I'll be crying a lot over the next few days, but when I just said goodbye to her she looked at me and had no love in her eyes and I know that this is the right decision, even as it hurts so much.

 

 

:grouphug: You're doing the right thing. We had to return a dog that was asserting dominance over our not yet toddler daughter and our cats. I know exactly what you're going through. We now have 2 dogs that are the perfect fit for our family. Both were rescued as puppies. We were sure to look specifically for mixed breed dogs that were bred as companions. We ended up with spaniel/poodle mix and a shih-tzu/maltese mix. They get on the couch :001_smile:.

 

Sounds like the right decision for your family. I kept thinking about your posts. I was disturbed, and couldn't fall asleep last night.

 

You shound't be getting any more dogs.

 

Even if your particular shelter is a no-kill one, another pup is being euthenised because you are returning yours, and there are no more spaces available.

 

It is not just a personality clash--you refused to implement even the most basic, the most common sense changes in your environment and approach, just because you wanted a dog that would sit with you on your sofa. This selfish decision endangered your children, and endangered your dog.

 

Now you are blaming the dog. *She* has no love in *her* eyes? What about yours? Love is not about letting your dog to sit with you on the sofa. Love is helping a puppy to adjust to a large family, in the ways that make sense to the puppy. Not allowing her on furniture was a simple, and, in most cases, extremely effective way to let the puppy know her place in your family. You wouldn't do even that, and you blame the puppy?

 

Taking in a dog is a huge responsibility, and shelters are full because people want an idea of a dog--a cuddly, furry, loyal companion. Gentle with kids, ferocious with intruders. Always comes when called. Well, this requires hours of work per day.

 

Mean and totally unnecessary. Any logical person knows that not every dog is going to be a good fit for EVERYONE. Sheesh.

[Denisemomof4]

 

Next, I will have different opinion from some of the others about how to choose your next dog. Choose a breed that tends to be good with kids- poodles, retrivers, cocker spaniels, etc, etc. Do not choose any breed that tends to be dominant- Boxer, German Shepherd, some terriers, Rottweilers,etc, or anything mixed with them like Boxer mix or GS mix or pitbull mix. Next find a good breed rescue group. Describe your mily. YOu will probably get a wonderful dog for your family. WIth Lab Rescue, I got a female with sep. anxiety but since we homeschooled, I was able to help her get over that. With Coastal Poodle Rescue, I got a wonderful mini poodle who was housebroken, knew some commands and learned quickly, was submissive, got along wonderfully with everyone including my cats, my kids, and never had any problems on walks. He continues to be a great dog. He wasn't a puppy and not as much work but some dog similar to him would be great for your kids. He only barks very rarely and usually when he is playing for a while and wants the play to continue. It isn't a scary bark at all. He weighs only 15lbs. and can't knock down anyone.

 

This is excellent advice. Cathmom, please consider a more mature dog this time around. Puppies are A LOT of work. I think your puppy needed more training than the typical puppy training. I think mine does, too. He's a GREAT puppy, though, and I don't feel we have ANY aggression issues at all.

 

You made a mistake. You were overwhelmed. You feared your children were at risk of being hurt. You did what you had to do.

[KidsHappen]

And this should be said out loud.

 

Why? Why does it need to be said out loud? What purpose does it serve? How does it help the OP in any way? How does it even help anyone at all? No one takes putting a dog down or even returning them lightly but the safety of humans, especially children always comes first.

 

Finally, I believe that your premise is incorrect. The fact that so many dogs get put down is not due to people returning dogs but due to the overpopulation of dogs because of too many owners not getting their dogs fixed and backyard breeders producing too many puppies.

 

Your post was uncalled for and totally out of line. You may not agree with her decision but there was nothing to be accomplished by saying so and certainly no justification for being so nasty about it.