RainbowSprinkles Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I'm so mad at myself that I didn't know any better 11 years ago... Supportive/loving/guiding parents would have come in handy... Maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I'm so mad at myself that I didn't know any better 11 years ago... Supportive/loving/guiding parents would have come in handy... Maybe. I'm sorry you're hurting.. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 :grouphug: Hope things start looking up for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You can always reconcile..... if I understand what you're saying... I hope you feel better tomorrow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadianmumof5 Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I'm not in the loop on this but just wanted to offer some :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 No you wouldn't have listened to them. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug: Sorry you're going through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry times are tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: RainbowSprinkles, if this is about something you've discussed fairly recently, please don't beat yourself up. Think of your great kids and remember that if you did something important in a different way 11 years ago, so many other things in your life would have been different, as well. Who knows -- you might not even be here right now. You could have been run over by a bus 5 years ago or something. (I know that sounds horrible and morbid, but every time I think of all the things I should have done differently, I try to remind myself that when one thing changes, so do a lot of others -- and not necessarily for the best.) I hope you feel better soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I agree with Catwoman. I am sure things are not easy, but all of our experiences combine to make our lives what they are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 Don't know the details, but regardless I'm sorry your hurting. I hope you can find some peace soon.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlessedMom Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug: So sorry you are hurting. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I'm so mad at myself that I didn't know any better 11 years ago... Supportive/loving/guiding parents would have come in handy... Maybe. Probably not. The heart wants what the heart wants. The thing to do now is move past it or through it. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 No you wouldn't have listened to them. :grouphug::grouphug: :iagree:cause I would not have either. Hope & pray things look better tomorrow. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) :grouphug: I feel like this often myself. I try to remind myself not to look back, what's done is done, and decide what choices I want to make now. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Edited January 9, 2012 by luvnlattes typo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 praying and hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :( I'm sorry you're hurting. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug: I don't know what is going on, but I hope things look up soon. You will find strength you never knew you had if it is what is sounds like.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BakersDozen Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 I'm so sorry. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 :grouphug: I don't know what is going on but pm me if you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 If you had known better 11 yrs ago, you wouldn't have your 4 little blessings! Focus on the joy they bring you, and you will find the strength you need to do what you have to do. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Remember that there are plenty of people here to offer hugs/support/encouragement when you need them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 9, 2012 Share Posted January 9, 2012 (edited) 11 years ago you made the best decision you could make at the time. If you had made a different decision, who is to say how things would have turned out? You don't have a crystal ball. It could be that you would have ended up in a worse position than you are in now. Other people in your life could have made different choices, both before and after that 11 year mark, which would have impacted your life positively. They didn't and that has zero to do with whether you deserved it or not. Those people would have treated anyone in your position negatively. The point is that there is nothing to gain by beating yourself up. You did the best you could at the time. You are doing the best you can now, and you are hurting -- don't make it harder on yourself than it already is. I have noticed that people like to think they are in control of their destiny, of what happens in their lives. That is not true. The fact is, a person can think they are doing everything right, and lose it all no matter how well they planned their lives, due to circumstances beyond their control. It makes people feel good to think they are in control; in reality, they have much less control than they think they do. There is no shortage of people who gloat about how they have managed their lives. These people are living in a bubble. If you are around people like this, who gloat about their great foresight and wisdom, and say if you were like them, your problems would not have occurred -- get a long hatpin and prick their bubble for me, would you? Meanwhile, stay brave and strong even through despair. Look forward and figure out what you can do today, each day. Try not to ruminate about the past and every little point in it at which you could have made different decisions. Not ruminating is very difficult, but you have to force your mind to think of something else, because it is not productive and can hurt you by keeping you stuck instead of moving forward. Playing happy music with songs you know the words to can help with this -- sing along and those thoughts will go right out of your head. You have to do something that engages your brain in a different direction. Get all the help you can. Do not let guilt or despair or other people's attitudes stop you. If you are overwhelmed by a decision, try to find someone you trust who is intelligent and clear-thinking to discuss it with. If you need food stamps, apply for them. If you need help, ask -- the worst that can happen is that someone says no, which does not change anything for you. Be your own best cheerleader. Tell yourself positive things all the time. I got through a dark period in my life by doing this. Rah! Rah! Rah! I am not kidding about being a cheerleader. Be peppy about it. Don't just repeat affirmations by rote. See other people. The hardest thing about going through discouraging times is that many of us want to isolate ourselves. Don't do it! Get out and do something - go to the library, visit a friend. If you don't have a car, ask someone to visit you or to take you somewhere. Get some exercise. You can do that at home, or go for a walk if you can. It will improve your mood and dissipate some of the stress. Being locked in despair and shame is like living in h*ll. You have to force yourself out of it. You don't have to do everything at once (I find that impossible). Instead, take baby steps, but keep moving forward a little bit every day. Edited January 9, 2012 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted January 9, 2012 Author Share Posted January 9, 2012 Thank you all!! I'm blessed to be able to come here for love and support. Thank you so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.