Things we were threatened with as kids...

[kewb]

My father was big on "stop crying or I will give you something to cry about."

 

I remeber being told not to swallow cherry pits/apple seeds or a tree would grow in my stomach.

[melissel]

Pennies on railroad tracks would derail the train and kill lots of people. (It kept us away from the tracks, for sure. Unfortunately, I thought this was real into college and I was very embarassed when they all laughed at my innocence!)

 

Uh, I believed that until just now! :blush: So it's not true? I always felt so bad about putting change on the train tracks as a kid :lol:

 

If you sing at the table you'll grow up and marry a crazy person. (oh, wait...)

 

:lol: My dad used to say that if you sing at the table, you'll have crazy kids. Then he'd say, "I used to sing at the table all the time, hmmm..."

 

That reminds of my MIL telling me not to reach my hands above my head because the umbilical cord would strangle the baby.

 

Oh, I got that from my Latino in-laws! There were so many others, too, I can't even remember. DH's grandmother freaked out at the table one day because I put hot sauce on my rice and beans. I can't remember why it was supposed to be bad for the baby though--blindness or something?

 

My parents didn't threaten a lot, in jest or seriously. I did get the occasional "I'll knock you into next week" or "I'll knock your block off," but they both had parents that bordered on the truly abusive, so they weren't comfortable with threatening any more than that. Oh, they did do the "I'll give you something to cry about" though--never made sense to me. How were more threats supposed to stop me from crying?!

 

Most of our threats here involve tickling someone until they barf or the infamous "red heiny" threat (courtesy of my mom, who would never spank the girls and who actively ended my dad spanking me as a child). That one gets laughs every time :D I will say that I've threatened to slap DD6 across her smart mouth though :( She's a spirited kid who ALSO had undiagnosed food additive sensitivities. Let's just say I'm not proud of those moments *sigh*

 

DH will sometimes threaten a "chancletazo" or say to me after a wisea$$ kid has left the room that someone needs a chancletazo. A chancleta is a slipper, and when he and his brothers were kids, they used to get whacked with the hard bottom of a slipper. The kids think that is hilarious, and now there are all kinds of funny "-azos."

Edited December 27, 2011 by melissel

[katilac]

You are cruising for a bruising.

 

I will string you up and whip you down.

 

Roll your eyes at me? I will smack them right out of your head!

 

My parents didn't know the "pull your arm off and beat you with the bloody end," but clearly they would have liked it :D

 

Funny story: My uncle was going back and forth with his grandkids, and jokingly threatened to "pull off my belt." All of the kids were :confused: and asked why he would say such a strange thing, what would happen if he pulled off his belt?

[AlmiraGulch]

My mom used to say "I'm gonna break your neck" and "I'm gonna kill you." It was just idle talk, but I have caught myself saying it to my kids (also jokingly) and checked myself. You never know what people will think or do nowadays if you talk like this. We also grew up hearing the word "beat" instead of "spank"; I try to remember to only say "spank," since "beat" means something different now.

 

OH, man...I'm so guilty of these! First, I often say "I'm gonna kill you" or "Ugh! I'm gonna kill myself" but, like with you, it's just idle talk. My kids know this. Just words expressing frustration, or, sometimes, really just a joke. When my eldest was in 3rd grade I got called to the school because she had made a mistake when writing something on the board and said "I'm gonna kill myself." We had to talk to the district psychiatrist and everything! Can you imagine me trying to convince this man that we are perfectly stable and really aren't going to do any harm to ourselves or our children, but we just say that stuff? :D:D

 

The other thing I do is joke with my younger and say "I'm gonna beat you!" And in our house, that means tickle. I heard her telling her friends one time when she was about 4 that her mom beats her all the time. I'm surprised I haven't had the authorities at my door repeatedly!

[rieshy]

You are cruising for a bruising.

 

I heard that all the time and had forgotten about it:)

 

If you swallow watermelon seeds a watermelom will grow in your belly.

 

I tell my kids that if I look at their room and its still that messy my head will explode all over everything, and that will be even grosser to clean up.

[melissel]

I tell my kids that if I look at their room and its still that messy my head will explode all over everything, and that will be even grosser to clean up.

 

:lol: I forgot that I also tell my DDs that if they keep doing whatever annoying think they're doing, my head will start to spin around, and no one wants that :lol:

[Dustybug]

I was once told that I would have the arch slapped out of my foot. :tongue_smilie:

[Dustybug]

Oh yeah, one time a friend's mother told me that she told her children that they should never bump bums with anyone, because that's how people got pregnant.

 

If you had a coughing fit around my great grandmother, she would make you stick your hands straight in the air. :001_huh:

[SKL]

OH, man...I'm so guilty of these! First, I often say "I'm gonna kill you" or "Ugh! I'm gonna kill myself" but, like with you, it's just idle talk. My kids know this. Just words expressing frustration, or, sometimes, really just a joke. When my eldest was in 3rd grade I got called to the school because she had made a mistake when writing something on the board and said "I'm gonna kill myself." We had to talk to the district psychiatrist and everything! Can you imagine me trying to convince this man that we are perfectly stable and really aren't going to do any harm to ourselves or our children, but we just say that stuff? :D:D

 

The other thing I do is joke with my younger and say "I'm gonna beat you!" And in our house, that means tickle. I heard her telling her friends one time when she was about 4 that her mom beats her all the time. I'm surprised I haven't had the authorities at my door repeatedly!

 

My mom used to do the "I'm gonna kill myself" thing too. I really try not to say that, because I half believed it when I was little. The thought comes up and I wonder if I'm a little off. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who gets the occasional urge to say that.

 

I did hear of a child being taken away from his/her parents or something because of stating "I'm going to kill myself" in a stressful moment. I found it extra scary.

 

As for "beat," it is a joking word here, and my kids know that. I know it's not the best practice, but it's pretty much impossible for me to go all week without ever joking about "beating" someone's butt. Maybe I need professional help :tongue_smilie:.

[Splash]

I'm going to hang you by your toenails.

 

Let's play Hansel and Gretel.

[Desert Rat]

That's funny! When I wanted something my dad would say, "Wish in one hand and spit in the other. See which one gets full first." As an adult I learned the saying was usually s*it not spit. :)

[myfatherslily]

Yes to many of the above. "I'll knock you into next week" was popular. My uncle told us, "See my finger, see my thumb, see my fist - you'd better run!" We thought it was quite funny! I remember the stories best, though :)

 

At the bottom of our hill, there was a drain pipe where a tiny stream went under the road. When I was very small, my grandma had me convinced that it was a deep hole full of mean skunks, raccoons, foxes, and who knows what else. I got older and brave enough to peek into this deep canyon... and it was about a foot and a half at the deepest part of the gentle slope. No crazed animals in sight!

 

Every night the ice cream truck would drive by right at bedtime. Well, my parents were smart. While other kids were begging their parents incessantly for ice cream, they told us that the "jingle truck" was checking to make sure the children were in bed. "See those kids across the street? He's telling them they'd better get to bed!" So when we heard the jingle every night, we'd RUN to bed. He always came around a second time and if you weren't in bed by THEN... ohhh boy!!!! Those OTHER kids sure got in trouble!

 

Then there was the time our dad was putting up walls in the basement to make a schoolroom. One day he told us that he'd dozed off down there and when he woke up, there were teeny little reindeer only about 6" tall! We were pretty skeptical at this point, as you might imagine. But you never know, so we went down there and sat really quietly for a few minutes before we decided this was pretty unlikely :)

 

I passed on the tradition to my own children. When "stay away from the pond cause you could drown and there are snapping turtles and poisonous snakes" didn't work, I decided to try "stay away because there's a pond monster who eats kids that get too close." I figured it's not TOO far from the truth ;) It worked! I had to come clean to my 5 year old, though, when he was afraid to sleep next to his window at night, for fear of monsters. Oops! He's recovered now!

[Hunter's Moon]

"I'm going to knock both of your heads together," said to me and my sis who is older by 16 months.

 

"I'm going to hang you on our ceiling fan by your toenails," usually said when I was being obnoxious.

 

"Does your mouth hurt, because my ears do." I was a talker :D

[Miss Marple]

"I'm going to snatch you baldheaded!"

[Dolphin]

"I'm going to knock both of your heads together," said to me and my sis who is older by 16 months.

 

"I'm going to hang you on our ceiling fan by your toenails," usually said when I was being obnoxious.

 

"Does your mouth hurt, because my ears do." I was a talker :D

 

These reminded me:lol::lol::lol:

 

I am going to hang you out of the window by your toe nails

 

If you don't stop talking I am going to sew your mouth shut.

 

I tell my kids that I am going to put them up for auction on ebay

 

and if you don't like it go find a new mom.

[justamouse]

Go get a switch.

 

:lol: My big, German Papa would say it. Pffft. That man was a marshmallow and wouldn't think of switching me. He never laid a hand on me. I miss him awful.

 

I say crazy stuff to my kids all the time-made up insanity and more. "It's a shame you're going to end the day with a beating." Of course I never spank them.

[MissKNG]

My dad told me that if I misbehaved "thunder and lightning would hit". Just recently he confessed that he's glad I pretty much did what I was told because he had no idea what "thunder and lightning" would have been!!

[SKL]

Oh, I forgot about the "stories." My parents didn't want us venturing down to the basement. Partly because there was stuff down there that we shouldn't touch, and partly because I always seemed to fall down stairs and bust my head when I was a tot. So my dad told us there was a baby monster in the basement. As we got older, it moved around down there - sometimes under the porch (there was a door in the basement that led under the porch), sometimes in one of the rooms, and sometimes just generally hanging out. (Depending on where the Christmas presents were hidden, I think.) Once I had slapped my brother and refused to apologize, so my dad picked me up and said he was taking me downstairs and feeding me to the baby monster. We never made it there, though, because according to my dad's recollection, I was tearing at his hair, face, and severely threatening his eyes before we got halfway down the steps.

 

He also used to tell stories (at bedtime) of the Thing Under the Bed and the Man with the Golden Arm and Dr. Stockingtoe, which were always good for a nightmare, LOL. As a young teen, I told one or two such stories to some kids I was babysitting, and they had nightmares and told their parents about my stories. I was surprised that other people didn't consider it normal to do that to kids.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

My grandpa always threatened to turn our pet bunnies in hasenpfeffer. :lol: We did know he was kidding.

 

We were told the usual things like your face will get stuck that way when making a face, etc.

 

My dad never threatened us with bodily harm, but he did occasionally say, "No one talk to anyone ever again!" when we were arguing.

[QuirkyKapers]

If you don't stop crying, I can give you something to cry about....

 

My mom used to tell us that there were little toliets in our glove box. I am not really sure how this was supposed to help when we had to go the the bathroom.

[QuirkyKapers]

You are cruising for a bruising.

 

 

I remember this! Ah memories.

[Dolphin]

Oh, I forgot about the "stories."

 

He also used to tell stories (at bedtime) of the Thing Under the Bed and the Man with the Golden Arm and Dr. Stockingtoe, which were always good for a nightmare, LOL. As a young teen, I told one or two such stories to some kids I was babysitting, and they had nightmares and told their parents about my stories. I was surprised that other people didn't consider it normal to do that to kids.

 

:D I remember the golden arm that was a camping story. Then after we went to bed Dad used to go around and shake our tents:lol::lol:

[*Inna*]

If you go outside with a wet head, you will catch pneumonia (according to my grandma).

 

I was told lots of things that I never believed, but I think my parents did believe them.

 

Cracking my knuckles will give me arthritis.

 

If you make your eyes cross eyed or make a silly face, it will stay that way.

 

If you make an ugly face to a pregnant woman, her baby will be born ugly, so don't make silly faces because a pregnant woman might see. (My grandmother told me that one.)

 

Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.

 

Swallowing a seed will make that fruit grow in your stomach (watermelon, apple tree, orange tree...)

 

Always wash your ears or seeds blown in there by the wind will start growing.

 

Someone is going to be crying before bedtime (context: usually because we kids were overtired and/or sugar-hyped, so were irritating each other. I always wondered why my mother would just say that instead of actually doing something to diffuse the situation and prevent the altercation that she anticipated ending in crying...)

 

Stop that or I'm gonna slap you one... (I always wondered what "one" meant, and why "one" and not two or three...)

 

Sitting too close to the tv will make me go blind.

 

Close your mouth of flies will go in.

 

You will catch cold if you go outside with wet hair.

 

Gypsies will come get you if you stay outside past dark (or if you leave the yard if I was at my grandparents' house).

 

Eating brussel sprouts will make hair grow on your chest. (I didn't believe it, but since I didn't like brussel sprouts, I used to turn it back on my parents to explain why I shouldn't have to eat them.)

 

You're not the center of the universe. (Generic statement meant to communicate that one will not get what one wants.)

 

Drinking coffee or tea will stunt your growth.

 

Oh, wow. Every one of these. :lol:

 

Also, my mom used to say, "If you don't stop doing ... (whatever annoying thing I was doing at the time)... there will be a sea of blood."

 

I remember imagining swimming in that sea. :lol:

[cave canem]

"I'm going to snatch you baldheaded!"

 

I heard this all the time as a child. This is the first time I have ever read it!

[Once Again]

I remember being told at school that if I crossed my eyes, they would stay stuck in that position. There was an elderly lady with crossed eyes at a nursing home we children visited. (we would go at Christmas time to sing carols to the residents) My classmates and I discussed it and were certain that she must have crossed her eyes as a child.

[eternalknot]

I had an uncle who lived with us who enjoyed playing the crotchety old man persona.

 

He didn't have any kids of his own, but he lived in a house full of his neices and nephews :)

 

When we got too loud, he'd hollar for us to shush and threaten to turn us into dinner stew.

 

We were veg*n, so nobody believed he'd actually do it LOL. It was just our clue to simmer down.

[bnrmom]

I brought you into this world, I can take you out.

 

Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about.

 

If you swallow gum it will sit in your stomach for 7 years.

 

If you don't keep your left hand off your plate I'm going to nail it to the table with your fork.

 

If you slouch you will have rounded shoulders.

 

You'll catch a cold if you go outside with wet hair.

 

 

I'm sure there were more, but the first two were my dad's favorites.

[QueenCat]

Not really a threat but I can remember being told that the starving children in China wish they had what was on my plate (and not desired by me).

[Liz CA]

My dad always said if you play with your bellybutton, it would come loose, you'd fly around the room backwards then your legs would fall off. :001_huh:

 

I probably would have tried that out just to see if I could really fly....:D

[Liz CA]

If you make that ugly face, you will stay that way forever. :glare:

 

Yes, this sounds very familiar. Evidently, this is why I look this way...:glare:

[swellmomma]

Not really a threat but I can remember being told that the starving children in China wish they had what was on my plate (and not desired by me).

 

I was told this one too. Apparently offering to mail it to them is considered back talking and results in being sent to bed without dinner. Considering I didn't want the dang dinner anyway I thought it was pretty clever getting out of eating it. :D

[katilac]

Every night the ice cream truck would drive by right at bedtime. Well, my parents were smart. While other kids were begging their parents incessantly for ice cream, they told us that the "jingle truck" was checking to make sure the children were in bed. "See those kids across the street? He's telling them they'd better get to bed!" So when we heard the jingle every night, we'd RUN to bed. He always came around a second time and if you weren't in bed by THEN... ohhh boy!!!! Those OTHER kids sure got in trouble!

 

Our ice cream truck comes way too early for that, but my kids did believe it was the "music truck" for many years, that drove around playing music to make people happy :D

[*Inna*]

Our ice cream truck comes way too early for that, but my kids did believe it was the "music truck" for many years, that drove around playing music to make people happy :D

:lol:

 

My SIL told her kids that the ice cream truck only plays music when it's out of ice cream. Her 10 year old still believes that. :lol: