yellowperch Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 My dd has wanted a kitten for a year now. She pines for one, and now she very sweetly and hopefully is talking about how Santa just might bring one. I am just two inches shy of being phobic of cats. I really dislike them. (I don't mean to offend cat lovers so please just trust me when I say I know this is irrational.) They make my skin crawl. Also, I just don't want the responsibility that comes with caring for that kind of a pet. And I think the litter box and the cat hair will drive clean-a-tic me crazy. I'm just getting itchy even as I write about this. So I really don't think I will be able to get over this enough to give my daughter her heart's desire this Christmas. What do I do to prep her for the disappointment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Santa usually checks with the parents before he brings something as serious as a living animal. Since you've said no to one before, Santa wouldn't feel right about disregarding your feelings on the matter. At least that is what I would say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I'm not a cat person either, so I 'get' where you're coming from. :) That said, if your DD isn't at an age where she can clean the litter box, remember to feed it, and show responsibility for the kitty, then I wouldn't get her one. Cats can live quite a long time. My DS8 would give his left arm for a bunny. He loves bunnies. I don't have anything against bunnies (other than I've never had one and would need to learn how to care for them), but my dogs would definitely see it as prey and kill it if I brought one into our home. So I had to gently explain that it just isn't possible. He understands. He still wants one, and maybe one day when he's older (and we're dog-free) he might get one, but for now it's just not going to happen. Is there another creature that your DD might want instead? One that you could live with? We recently discovered Sugar Gliders. They are adorable! I don't know a single thing about them, but perhaps something along those lines would be a good substitute? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Santa usually checks with the parents before he brings something as serious as a living animal. Since you've said no to one before, Santa wouldn't feel right about disregarding your feelings on the matter. At least that is what I would say. Eventually though mine outgrew Santa and got old enough to take 100% of the care of an animal and use their allowances towards the expenses. Then we got animals, and only then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Santa usually checks with the parents before he brings something as serious as a living animal. Since you've said no to one before, Santa wouldn't feel right about disregarding your feelings on the matter. At least that is what I would say. :iagree: I love cats but really if you can't stand them don't get one. They love the grownups and you have to be sure they are cared for just like a little kid. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Santa usually checks with the parents before he brings something as serious as a living animal. Since you've said no to one before, Santa wouldn't feel right about disregarding your feelings on the matter. At least that is what I would say. :iagree: We often talk about how inappropriate it is to give or get live animals for Christmas. I truly believe it's a stupid idea, and my kids have heard me discuss this dozens of times. (As a matter of fact, I believe that's how a couple of our pets-to-be ended up at the Humane Society -- I'm think they were a Christmas gift gone bad, they were surrendered to the Humane Society, and then we adopted them in February.) I'm pretty sure Santa knows it wouldn't be fair to a kitten to have to be in a new house, scared about being in a new place, when it's a loud, crazy day like Christmas! Santa wouldn't put a sweet little kitten through that. SANTA DOESN'T DELIVER LIVE ANIMALS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astrid Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I agree with this, but have to add--- You know those people who cannot STAND babies/children/kids, then they find themselves pregnant and when it's THEIR baby, their tune changes? There is that possibility. My good friend was positively PHOBIC of cats too. Same sitch as you-- dd (9 at the time, maybe?) wanted one more than life itself. So my friend's in-laws showed up with a kitten one weekend. To this day we both swear it was done on purpose to skeeve my friend out; they're passive-aggressive that way. ;) Anyway, just as the IL's must have guessed, the kid was over the moon about the kitten, and neither my friend nor her dh had the intestinal fortitude to rip the kitty out of their dd's adoring arms. It literally was the answer to her prayers, and her one and only wish. But you know what happened? That sweet baby kitten kind of grew on my friend. I think because it started out small she was much more able to deal, and her dh/dd/other kids did most of the work. Now that kitten is 5 years old, and harmony reigns in the house. (Not sure she's forgiven her in-laws yet, but the kitten was just the tip of the iceberg as far as they are concerned!) I'm just sayin'. :D astrid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I'm not a pet person AT ALL and my DD9 is begging for a dog. She has even told me that maybe one of her grandparents will get her one for her birthday. I've just been very clear with her that there will be no pets in this house, no matter where it comes from, ever. I also try to point out all the friends she has that have dogs she can visit and play with but not have to clean up after. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 My whole life I was so NOT a cat person. I didn't understand them, trust them, or even like them. Dogs I could read. Cats were totally unpredictable and downright scary to me. But dd loved cats. One needed a home. It didn't take long before I fell in love with this adult cat. I read about them to understand their body language. I was very allergic to cats. Within a few months, my allergic reactions stopped. We've since added more to our family and I love cats. :) YMMV but ... you never know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yellowperch Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 Maybe I could get over it. Maybe. But I think respecting the animal and NOT making it part of Christmas morning is very important. If we are going to take care of an animal, we might as well start doing so right off the bat and put the creature's needs and comfort before my own desire to delight my child. Thank you for that reminder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 A short haired cat doesn't really shed much. None that I have ever seen over the years and I have had cats as long as I can remember. One cat using a little box is truly not that bad. I mean it's your choice but one is not that hard to deal with. I don't like multiple cats in a home to be truthful. I have two and not by my choice but there you have it. With one it is no biggie at all along with 6 kids, one dog and a rabbit. The second being added seemed to upset the balance LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Maybe I could get over it. Maybe. But I think respecting the animal and NOT making it part of Christmas morning is very important. If we are going to take care of an animal, we might as well start doing so right off the bat and put the creature's needs and comfort before my own desire to delight my child. Thank you for that reminder. She would be just as excited to open a present of a kitty bed, collar, bowls, etc. with a note that you'll be looking in the days/weeks ahead for just the right one to join your family. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 That said, if your DD isn't at an age where she can clean the litter box, remember to feed it, and show responsibility for the kitty, then I wouldn't get her one. Cats can live quite a long time. I agree with this. You could tell her that Santa clears things like that with parents, and you feel it is something that should be discussed once she is old enough to care for the cat herself. My DD has wanted a dog for years, but DH really, really doesn't like them. I'm not a big dog lover, but I'd be willing to get one for DD. She's old enough to take on the responsibility herself, so I think it's more of an option now. DH doesn't agree yet, so no dog. (we do have two cats - serious cat lovers here :) ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SW in IL Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Just an aside, but try to make sure that Santa doesn't tell your DD that he'll bring her a kitten. When my daughter was about your DD's age, she asked Santa for a brother or sister. DD was heartbroken when Christmas rolled around and there was no baby under the tree. No matter what we said, she was just inconsolable. To this day, I get upset when I hear a Santa telling a kid that she'll get something for Christmas. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My3Monkeys Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 My dd asked santa for a kitten a couple of years ago. Santa brought a fur real pet kitten. We explained that santa NEVER brings live animals, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Is there any other pet you could live with? Bunny? Hamster? Guinea Pig? It might console her and distract her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I agree with this, but have to add--- You know those people who cannot STAND babies/children/kids, then they find themselves pregnant and when it's THEIR baby, their tune changes? There is that possibility. My good friend was positively PHOBIC of cats too. Same sitch as you-- dd (9 at the time, maybe?) wanted one more than life itself. So my friend's in-laws showed up with a kitten one weekend. To this day we both swear it was done on purpose to skeeve my friend out; they're passive-aggressive that way. ;) Anyway, just as the IL's must have guessed, the kid was over the moon about the kitten, and neither my friend nor her dh had the intestinal fortitude to rip the kitty out of their dd's adoring arms. It literally was the answer to her prayers, and her one and only wish. But you know what happened? That sweet baby kitten kind of grew on my friend. I think because it started out small she was much more able to deal, and her dh/dd/other kids did most of the work. Now that kitten is 5 years old, and harmony reigns in the house. (Not sure she's forgiven her in-laws yet, but the kitten was just the tip of the iceberg as far as they are concerned!) I'm just sayin'. :D astrid :iagree: I hate dogs -hate,hate,hate them. Then one day I saw the sweetest,tiniest puppy ever and she came home with me. From then on I LOVED my little doggie - but I still hated every other dog LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 My dd asked santa for a kitten a couple of years ago. Santa brought a fur real pet kitten. We explained that santa NEVER brings live animals, :iagree:I'd go this route. Your dd is kind of young for the responsibility of a pet. Even though cats pretty much take care of themselves. (But there is nothing like a warm kitty snuggled in the lap on a cold winter's day.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Well, my middle son would love a cat, but I am terribly allergic. I even have a tough time with the dogs sometimes, but it is better than cats. Horses are bad for me too. So, he knows a cat isn't in the cards. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yellowperch Posted November 12, 2011 Author Share Posted November 12, 2011 I think my dd hacked into some of your accounts. Why am I more tempted now than when I wrote the post? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houseofkids&pets Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 My dh never had any pets growing up, while I had quite a few as a child. We now have a zoo of 9 assorted critters since my dd(11) loves animals as much as me and hopes to become a veterinarian in the future. She has used her love of animals to organize a fund drive in her p.s. (I am only hsing my youngest ds). It may be a good experience for a responsible child, but I have to say that a lot of the work falls on me. That's fine since I love all kinds of pets, but you may not feel that way. One cat isn't too much work - feeding, litter box, and maybe brushing. Dogs and pets in cages are more high maintenance. Also, don't forget to factor in the cost of vet bills. It is not the initial cost of an animal, it is all of the on-going vaccinations, etc., that are the expensive part of pet ownership. BTW, my dh has not bonded with any of our pets and still does not care for any animals. He tolerates them since he knows that the rest of us love them. He even woke me up one evening while he was trying to watch TV and made me get out of bed to move the cat out of our family room. It was staring at him and gave him the creeps. This is also the man who shrieks when he sees mice in our shed, but has let his children have guinea pigs and hamsters. You may find that you love your pet cat, or you may end up being indifferent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I'd tell her that Santa does not bring living beings as gifts. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puma Mom Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 Honestly, I think it's good for our kids to know that they can't have everything they want. It's a better life skill to learn how to be happy no matter what the circumstances, even when we're disappointed. I've known some who were rarely disappointed as children who have a very difficult time being happy as adults. Their happiness seems to be dictated by whether they got to job they really wanted or got to go on as nice a vacation as their friend went on. . And, whoa, if you are not a cat person, you need to know that you would be the primary caretaker of that cat. Your dd can learn to put out its food and deal with the litter box, but it's not realistic to think that none of that will ever fall on you. I would tell her that Santa doesn't bring animals--that's for the parents to decide about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HistoryMom Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 It's totally your call, of course, on whether you get one for her (and the whole family), but something to keep in mind: I'm not by any means a clean-freak, but it drives me CRAZY that the cats walk all over our kitchen counters and I can't stop them. I can't leave any food out on the counter, even for a second, because they hop right up there. I like them (love them, even), but we won't be getting another cat once these two are no longer. Cat attrition. Everyone's tolerance for that kind of thing is different, so just something to think about. I do agree that a cuddly cat on the sofa is a thing of joy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I think you're abolutely correct not to give in on this one. Mind you, I'm an animal lover. But, if you're not, I'm glad that your question was how to prep your daughter for the disappointment, rather than "should I." I think, if it were me, I would just start casually mentioning to the child that Santa doesn't give kids gifts that aren't okay with their families. Santa would know that your family isn't the right one for a cat. I do think it's important to lay some groundwork now in order to help her not be too disappointed and unhappy when her wish doesn't come true. But I'd just be matter-of-fact and consistent about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josie Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I would say that she can get any animal she wants when she has her own place. I have said that about horses. I didn't get everything I wanted as a child, so I don't think I am obligated to give my children everything they want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted November 12, 2011 Share Posted November 12, 2011 I agree with this, but have to add--- You know those people who cannot STAND babies/children/kids, then they find themselves pregnant and when it's THEIR baby, their tune changes? There is that possibility. My good friend was positively PHOBIC of cats too. Same sitch as you-- dd (9 at the time, maybe?) wanted one more than life itself. So my friend's in-laws showed up with a kitten one weekend. To this day we both swear it was done on purpose to skeeve my friend out; they're passive-aggressive that way. ;) Anyway, just as the IL's must have guessed, the kid was over the moon about the kitten, and neither my friend nor her dh had the intestinal fortitude to rip the kitty out of their dd's adoring arms. It literally was the answer to her prayers, and her one and only wish. But you know what happened? That sweet baby kitten kind of grew on my friend. I think because it started out small she was much more able to deal, and her dh/dd/other kids did most of the work. Now that kitten is 5 years old, and harmony reigns in the house. (Not sure she's forgiven her in-laws yet, but the kitten was just the tip of the iceberg as far as they are concerned!) I'm just sayin'. :D astrid My inlaws did this but with a dog. The brought the dog but no food. They were feeding it bacon and sausage out of my fridge until we could get to the store.:glare: I've gotten over it. Until I think about it. OP, I'm sorry you are in this position. I'm usually very blunt with the kids. I would say, "I'm sorry honey, but Mommy doesn't do cats." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 There is nothing like having a cat (or four which is our case right now!). We have several pets and love having cats for the homey feel of them. Dh was allergic and hesitant when I brought home the first kitten 13 years ago; that was some 8-9 cats ago.... Ours get used to going outdoors so we stop dealing with a litter box very quickly. Never had a problem with shedding (we just have regular cats). Cats are cozy and lovely. Growing up my mother swore she'd never have cats; some 20 years later she began keeping cats and love them, but I know I would have so much enjoyed having had a cat to cuddle with as a child. Childhood is so fleeting... Sorry to be on your dd's side here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelissaMinNC Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Santa usually checks with the parents before he brings something as serious as a living animal. Since you've said no to one before, Santa wouldn't feel right about disregarding your feelings on the matter. At least that is what I would say. :iagree: My kids know Santa and I talk about these things and he won't bring things that we feel they shouldn't have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Honestly, I think it's good for our kids to know that they can't have everything they want. It's a better life skill to learn how to be happy no matter what the circumstances, even when we're disappointed... I agree very strongly with this. Kids sometimes need to hear "no" -- and to learn that they'll live through it. Sure, if a kitten would fit well into your life, it would be lovely to surprise her with (the items for, if not the actual kitten), but it's also perfectly okay to say, "Yes, sometimes there are things we want that we just can't have." I would start telling her now. Personally, I wouldn't bring "Santa" into it. I'd rather be clear and honest about why a kitten simply won't be an option. Empathize with her disappointment, of course, and offer what reassurances you can that she'll be okay even without her (current) heart's desire. But *don't* take on a living pet that you *know* you are unlikely to tolerate well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.