lynn Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 It's killing me, letting my 18 year old son make his own adult decisions. He's been working 30+ hours and taking 12 hours of classes. We "suggested" he ask his work to just give him 15hrs. He worked until 1A has class at 11A this morning and he just went back to bed. I won't nag, I won't say a word, I know he can tell time...he's now an adult, he's now an adult...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I did the same thing when I was his age and survived. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curlygirlzx2 Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 My 19 yr. old dd is on the same schedule. I know it's hard not to say anything because Mom knows best but sometimes they have to figure it out on their own. Besides, my dd still doesn't listen to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theYoungerMrsWarde Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I did the exact same thing when I was 19, plus Karate 3 days/week. I ended up getting really sick and having to drop EVERYTHING. (I worked at Subway and every time I showed up I'd end up fainting from the heat of the oven or puking.) I had to withdraw from classes because I missed so many. And I never got past green belt (couldn't afford it after that.) Unless he desperately needs the money, imho, it's not worth the risk to his health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Some of my teens are carrying 18 credit hours, working 20 hours a week and volunteering 15-20 hours a week. The other is carrying 15 credit hours and working full time. I don't know when they are doing their homework but I imagine they will be tired by the time the end of term rolls around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 My oldest gets up at 3AM to get to work at 4AM, works full-time, has school 5 days a week, plus church obligations, and it is taking its toll. She is starting to crash. I did say something. She doesn't have to listen, but I will point out when I think she is hurting herself. I want her to succeed, not fail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Yep, bite your tongue, he has to make his own decisions/mistakes. Honestly, working till 1 am and then having an 11 am class is hardly a big deal, imo. If he skips, that's very much a choice, kwim? It's hardly the result of a brutal schedule :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 School won't start for another month, but I told ds that he is not to work more than 20 hours a week this quarter. He is taking some very rigorous classes. He's 17 so I don't usually tell him what to do, but I am in this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 My 19yo dd has a schedule very like that and an overload of classes. I remember having lots more energy at that age. I don't want to do that now though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I worked full-time (40-45 hours a week) all through undergrad and graduate school, taking 12+ hours each semester. If it works for your son, more power to him... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 My dh did that AND found time to date me ;) He lived, AND did well at school. (He was a very tired fella for awhile though) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 My 19yo dd has a schedule very like that and an overload of classes. I remember having lots more energy at that age. I don't want to do that now though. Yep. They can generally handle it, especially if they have a recharge day every couple of days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 It is hard to watch them learn to handle adult life. That said, though, I have found that my boys become much more efficient when they are busier. The more school, more hours of work, the more studying they did and the less time they spent playing on the computer, napping, etc. FWIW, my dh worked 15-20 hours per week at KMart during his first 2 years of medical school. He was still Junior AOA and dated me. It was the only way he could afford to go to medical school. At the end of his second year, the medical school dean was shopping in KMart and saw him. She asked him why he was working there and he indicated he had to in order to go to school. The next Monday she had a $1500 scholarship for him for his 3rd and 4th years. While that doesn't sound like much today, it was substantial back then. Your son will survive and will learn to be efficient...and that is a lesson that we cannot teach easily and it will stay with him forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Yep. They can generally handle it, especially if they have a recharge day every couple of days. When I was in college, I was a single parent to a 2yo, took 15-18 hours every semester, and worked 20-30 hours a week. I am not sure how I handled the 2yo! I have one now and have help (the other dc) and it is still tough sometimes.:tongue_smilie: He'll handle it. I try to remember that most of these decisions are not life altering, even if they make us nervous.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 It is hard to watch them learn to handle adult life. That said, though, I have found that my boys become much more efficient when they are busier. The more school, more hours of work, the more studying they did and the less time they spent playing on the computer, napping, etc. FWIW, my dh worked 15-20 hours per week at KMart during his first 2 years of medical school. He was still Junior AOA and dated me. It was the only way he could afford to go to medical school. At the end of his second year, the medical school dean was shopping in KMart and saw him. She asked him why he was working there and he indicated he had to in order to go to school. The next Monday she had a $1500 scholarship for him for his 3rd and 4th years. While that doesn't sound like much today, it was substantial back then. Your son will survive and will learn to be efficient...and that is a lesson that we cannot teach easily and it will stay with him forever. Now THAT is impressive!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 And here I am, on the opposite end of the spectrum . . .. My dd, first semester of college, is taking a light load and not working much. (5 hrs/week) I'm wishing she was working more. . . . but she worked 28 hrs/week her senior year, and it was too much for her. I just feel like she's taking it too easy, you know? But - her decision. She wants to start off slowly (she's never had out of the house classes before) and be successful. I'm NOT a good parent to a young adult. Can't figure out when to say something, and when to keep my mouth shut. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Awwwwww. I would be so proud. I would let him do it, while I stood there beaming the whole time because he grew up to be such a hard worker. I would let him figure out that running oneself into the ground isn't a good thing on his own, after making a gentle suggestion about it. Hehe. I bet you're brimming with pride underneath your motherly worry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imagine.more Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 He'll live I'm sure :) I did much more when I was in college. I took 18 hours of classes and worked 30-40 hours a week between 2 jobs. Then I did student teaching 45 hours a week and 1 class and 10-15 hours of work and planned my wedding and applied to 20 different schools to find a teaching job upon graduation. I had no choice, I was independent of my parents and needed to make ends meet but gosh was I tired! Come to think of it I'm still tired from it, lol! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 That said, though, I have found that my boys become much more efficient when they are busier. Yep. The more you do, the more you can do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 :grouphug: Been there -- am there. It's so hard. I can see so many things my son would have been saved from if he had only listened. (he's 21) I'm still waiting for the light to come on on these things.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I can see that this would be hard to watch, but want to reassure you that he may handle it just fine. I had NO money through high school or college, and had to have a job to pay for basic necessities as well as school. I carried a full academic load and worked a lot of hours, not to mention myriad other important things to manage in my life. I was short on sleep at times, yes, but I not only survived but had a full, rich, wonderful life. I don't really have regrets for those hardworking years, and have often been grateful for the many life lessons I internalized from that time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Pretty much sounds like my college experience, and many other's that I know, except add a few hours of drinking after work at 1 a.m., lol! Don't say a word....it's what will make him appreciate college, and graduate, looking for a "real" job. The appreciation that life is a struggle, and you have to work hard to get what you want. It's rough, but in the end, a good life experience for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Most often in college, I was working close to or more than full-time and taking an 18-20 credit course load. No, I did not get enough sleep. But I did finish without debt and I cared for my brother and mom. You do what you gotta do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Oh gosh I was much worse at that age. I worked a lot, went to school full-time, went out with friends. I'm not sure if I remember sleeping at all! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Boy is it hard to bite your tongue!!! I have an 18 yr old and I can SO relate!!!!:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I worked off campus (unheard of at my undergrad), did work study, and earned two 4 year degrees in 4 years. I now do, um, a lot more than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 I worked off campus (unheard of at my undergrad), did work study, and earned two 4 year degrees in 4 years. I now do, um, a lot more than that. Wow! That is amazing, Joanne. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Is he driving? That would be my biggest worry. My daughter fell asleep at the wheel early one morning a couple of years ago and rolled my van on the interstate. They think they are invincible at that age :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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